Evening everyone!
Hope you all are doing well! I am spending all my time running up and down the road - soccer season is just starting! Both of my boys play for their schools. The 8th grader will have games on Tue. & Thur. and the freshmen has games on Mon., Wed., and Fridays. Guess what I'm going to be doing... Rhys, the freshman, is the starting goalie for the varsity team - he is extremely proud of himself. Drew, the younger one, says he is going to take the MVP award for his team so this should prove to be an interesting season! I'm just grateful they are not playing on their traveling team for the spring along with the school teams (then it would be soccer six or seven days a week!)...

Kat - Hang in there. I am sending positive wishes your way...

Tricia - Great job on the huge cheeseburger! What a neat way that worked out...And way to go on the weight loss.

Cheryll - Good job on meeting the challenge!

BarbPA - I'm thinking of you...

Everyone else - Sending best wishes for a great OP day!

OK. Let me switch gears from running to soccer practice/meetings today and get some work done for school. I've got a Reading Team meeting tomorrow that I am not even close to being prepared for and I forgot that I was supposed to do the bulletin board at church Sunday so I've got to pull that together to take down tomorrow night at choir practice. My mind is getting extremely shakey these days...

Have a good day tomorrow! Talk to you later!

Laura

Just got home from seeing my Dad. He seemed much better than Sunday. He get evaluated for surgery tomorrow. :crossed:

Glad you checked in, Laura. Two weeks from now you will be DOWN those 2 pounds.

Tricia:
THANK YOU!!!! Funny how you can have a light bulb moment when you see it in writing but on my own I couldn't figure it out. Or admit it, I should say. It's all in the way you look at it and your post hit the nail on the head for me.

Plus you know Fitday - I have tried it twice but found it too much work and quit.

Kat:
I'll help you if you help me!!!

Cheryll: Glad to see your post. Congrats, on your loss.

Well, it's late and I have to get ready for tomorrow.

Later, :kickcan:

Morning Ladies,

I don't have much time because it snowed last night so I must go out and shovel before work. I did want to chime in real quick about the depression talk.
I too have struggled with depression most of my life and I have struggled with my weight as well. I have been taking Effexor XR for about 1 1/2 years now. Before I had tried many other anti-depressants and the like. Never sticking with any because they didn't seem to be working or would only work for a short period of time.
One of the things that I have noticed is the number of overweight people on anti-depressants. I have been wanted to study about changing your diet to get rid of depression. I know that there is some information out there I just haven't gotten around to searching for it yet. But I was wondering if anyone else feels that their diet may be a part of their depression. I don't mean that you are depressed because you have eatten too much or the wrong thing, but I mean that the food is messing up your chemical balance in your brain. I have noticed that I have panic attacks if I have too much caffeine, so I have limited my caffeine intake. Does anyone else think that because of the processing of foods could be the root of the chemical imbalances in our brain? I think maybe it does. Anyhow, I would love to discuss this more, but right now I must shovel.
Hugs to all,
Skitt

I agree, Dawn, about food affecting us. I just ignore it - which is NOT good.

I too would like to know more - TONY!!!!!! Any suggestions for our reading pleasure?????

Gotta work now or I would surf the net ! :)

I love the cooking show Tricia. I cought the tail end of low carb and loving it, and was wondering what he had made because it sounded good. Now i can try it. Thanks.
So tell me, how much laundry do you do a day? My goodness girlfriend, it seems like everytime you post a message, your in the middle of doing laundry. I guess you could say "Doing laundry" is a form a exercise. Is that how you manage to loose 4lb. Well, a big happy dance for you! :cb:
I read your post about the cheese burger and I'm still laughing. To Funny!! What a great way to start the morning.(Laughing) Thanks. The funny thing is, i probably would have eaten it.

Will and Gina took us out to dinner last night and we went to Hops. Its a fancy restaurant that i think is only in the south. Maybe. Anyway, they have these croissant rolls that they serve at the beggining of the meal that have this honey butter on top, and there is just no word to describe how GOOD they are. Yes, i did eat two of them. My reasoning for eating them are.... #1. My son and daughter-in-law don't come down everyday to visit.
#2. It was a special occasion.
I'm sure there are a lot more reasons i can think of, but then what's the point. The damage is done. Onward and upward.

I have a lot more to say to all of you but have to run to the store before hubby its come for lunch. I shall return.
Gloria

Thank you all SO much for the good advice. Immediately after getting that stuff off my chest yesterday, I felt better. I made an appointment with a new doctor for next week. A female doctor...hopefully she'll have a better grasp on 'lady things; than my well meaning, yet clueless male doctor.

Anyway. thanks again...I'm working on this and I appreciate all of your help! I consider you all good friends! :grouphug:

Barb, Hang in there, honey. It only takes one! Prayers comin' atcha!

I'll be back soon! Love to all!

Hello all! I just came in from the gym and my arms a actually a little shaky from the weights so pardon any typos!

Yep, Gloria, laundry is my life. I try to stay on top of it by doing it a couple times during the week. Otherwise, somebody is going to run out of clean underwear - and it is usually me! Summer isn't so bad because we spend most of the day in our swimsuits (oh, the horror!) at the pool. But this time of year the kids are in and out of mud puddles, finger paints, sandboxes, etc. so they just get grubby fast and have to change clothes a couple of times during the day. Of course, sometimes I just let them go. I'll be the lady at the grocery store getting the looks from people thinking, "Ewww, does she ever give those kids a BATH?" But I haven't shown up there in curlers or slippers....yet.

Skittles, I do agree that the foods we eat have an impact on our moods and how we feel. My personal experience, though, has been that my depression contributes to my being overweight rather that the other way around. I've run the gamut of symptoms, starting with just general anxiety disorder. Once I quit work, though, there were fewer and fewer triggers for my panic attacks and I think the isolation led to more of actual depression. Now that we've established a routine and I've met more friends also at home (I still see my work friends but it is harder to do since they are at work) I find that, without medication, my symptoms are less pronunced but still there. I have symptoms of anxiety, depression, and I have a tendancy to be a bit compulsive. They seem to change with age and I noticed after each of my pregnancies my overall composure might be different than it had been. So, I too, have had to experiment with different medications. Currently, I am taking Wellbutrin and it works well for me. It has had a very definate impact on my compulsivness - one reason I believe that, for me, the disorder plays a role in my weight. Now, I'm not blaming being chemically depressed for my being fat because I know I still have contol over what I put in my mouth. But Wellbutrin does two things for me. First, it affects the part of the brain that signals cravings (sometimes it is used to help people quit smoking) and that really has made getting compulsive eating under control. Second, it relieves my depression so that I have a good enough outlook to actually CARE. Without medication, getting out of bed in the morning was a horrible experience. I had taken Serzone for several years before it was taken off of my insurance company'S drug list. I didn't immediately start taking anything else because I felt like I would be fine. I had everything I wanted, I'd been able to quit my job. I had the life that I always wanted and fully expected to be happy because of it. But, of course, that isn't how chemical depression works. If you've got, you've got it so it wasn't long before I was down in the dumps again, and having a panic attack if someone pulled out in front of me on the highway. It is just a terrible feeling to know that you SHOULD be happy and yet know that you AREN'T. And it isn't like you FEEL depression per say. But, when I realized that I was sending my kids to get pop tarts out of the drawer for breakfast and making them go watch TV because I couldn't get out of bed in the morning I knew I would have to find another med. So, here I am. And, honestly, I don't think I could have lost the weight I have if I hadn't. I mean, if you can't pull yourself out of bed you certainly aren't going to drag yourself to the gym. Still, I have never been a medicine taker and I struggle with the notion that this will be something I have to treat for the rest of my life (more than likely). It is a really interesting topic, I think, because it affects people so differently.

I am off to scrounge up some lunch. I hope you all have a fabulous day!

Tricia

Hey everyone :)

Ok, if Kat is depressed and brave enough to get her butt in here and post about it, then I don't have any excuses. Thank you, you darling woman, for writing that post.

I have a lot of great things going on in my life right now. I should be happy as anything. I'm seeing Tony this weekend! That should be enough to have me cloud walking right there. Part of me is up there on cloud 9. There is another part of me that feels very sad and can't even acknowledge the fact that the sun is shining outside.

Part of it is my weight loss, I have to admit. I have been working my plan so hard, and I was up 1 lb. again yesterday. I kept a nice face for the people at Decision, but I got in the car and cried. Why did I feel the need to be brave for them? I should have just let the tears spill, because that is honestly how I felt.

I've been up and down, back and forth so much since mid-December, that I can't even tell you any longer if I made the last 2 lb. challenge or not. I'm frustrated and angry and wanting to see concrete results. You want to hear the really crazy thing? I tried to sabotage myself yesterday, but I found myself portioning out things properly and mentally adding up which boxes would be filled, etc. In the end, I didn't screw up at all, but I was so upset that I still didn't enjoy my indulgence. :dizzy:

The 14th should be my baby boy's 6th birthday, but it isn't. My sister didn't invite me to her little boy's b-day party because she knows it still stings. My SIL understood when I was scarce for my niece's b-day party. We were all pregnant at the same time, and it was going to be so wonderful. I thought I was doing better about it this year but I turned on the radio the other day and the song that was playing as I was rushed to the hospital was on, and the tears just started to well up in my eyes. The song is so fitting for what we went through that day, and we played it at his funeral.

Is it normal to get hit with such deep grieving so far after the fact? I think it must be, and I'm trying to give myself permission to feel it out entirely and not cover it with food or anything else. In my head I was writing out my pain, but I still haven't been able to commit those words to paper. Maybe that should be my goal for this year. His little headstone says "A gift of love", and that is how I try to remember him. I need to accept the rest of his gift and let this pain and anger go once and for all.

So, I've been scarce here because I was down and not able to figure out what was wrong with me, but sometimes you read something and things click in your head. Maybe I just needed to let a little of the hurting out; maybe I just needed to acknowledge it is there. I don't know if it is really what is holding me back, but I feel a little better already.

Thanks for bearing with me, everyone. *HUGS*

Andria

To cool BarbPa, we are both in Florida at the same time. How about this weather we are having? Temp. in the 70, sun shining and a cool breeze. I picked my first tomato yesterday and ate it. It was wonderful. Tomato juice was running down my chin.
We are all keeping our fingers crossed that your frozen egg will take. I wish i could send you a baby quilt. First things first. You will get pregnant this time then we can talk about that quilt. I'm getting excited just thinking about it and we haven't even met.

I know what you are talking about Kat when you said "Getting that stuff off your chest made you feel better. I try to talk to my husband about "STUFF" that makes me sad, but he trys to fix my problems. He is a dear sweet man, but sometimes i don't need for him to fix anything, i just need him to listen to me. I think that's a guy thing. Anyway, you are not alone and anytime you need to talk about that stuff, we are here for you.

When i turned 50 and was going down hill fast in the mood swing department, i knew i had to do something. I hate taking pills so decided to try some things of my own to get my mood, crying, upset over nothing under control. I notice that when i ate preservatives, soon after i just felt like crying when there was nothing wrong, and i wanted more of all the wrong things. That was when i started eating fresh. Nothing out of a can, and i started frezing cooked food so i could just pull something out and microwave it and eat. I also asked my local supermarket what they did with the vegetables that they didn't sell. They throe them away just because they are not pretty. I now buy all my vegetables at half price and i feel wonderful. I am not saying that eating fresh is the answer to depression, all i am saying is what i did to help myself get out of taking pills.

So when do you think you will come on down to the sunshine state Cheryll? Fort Myers is about a 3 hour drive from where i live, and gets a little warmer there. If you keep losing weight like you have been, then maybe when you do come down you could bring that little string bikini. Something to shoot for.

Hugs to all of you.
Gloria

Andria, this post is the first I've read regarding your son. I am so sorry. If it helps at all Greg and I also lost our first son. He was born prematurely and just couldn't hang on. That was March of 1996. I had trouble getting pregnant again which was very frustrating but in 1998, here came Will. We decided to have another baby soon after. I had a sonogram Oct 8, 1 day before Will's first birthday party (He was born Oct 11) only to find that the baby had fluid around her brain. She was diagnosed with Turner's Sydrome so basically our options were to either terminate the pregnancy or wait for her to die. We waited and she was stillborn at on Will's birthday. I was 5 months pregnant. I honestly don't know where we got the courage to try again but I am so glad that we did because we were blessed with Jake and Addie.

I don't believe that grieving has any rules. As long as you are able to function normally in your day to day life, I don't think you should be concerend that you still feel a deep loss even after 6 years. This was your child. And sometimes you will feel it more deeply than others. I am not a believer in the saying "time heals all wounds." Rubbish. But, it does make your wounds more bearable. And under the circumstances I think that is the best we can hope for.

I know it must be an awkward situation for you, your sister, and your sister-in-law. But try and participate as much as you can in celebrating their childrens' lives (birthday parties, etc). Whether they ever admit it or not I am sure they feel a certain amount of guilt - for being glad that it didn't happen to them, not knowing what to say, all of those things. I found that I always had to make the first gesture because, in many ways, the aftermath of our children's deaths was harder on our families than on Greg and I. Not the losses themselves, but in terms of wanting to help us and not knowing how to. Friends were in the same boat. When I returned to work after Quinten was born there were 5 or 6 pregnant girls. They just avoided me because they didn't know what to say, they didn't want to upset me, etc. And, frankly, at first I was glad they did. But then I decided that wasn't fair to any of us. I bit the bullet and congratulated them, asked to see sonogram pictures, what names they had picked out and the like. Then I went to my office, shut the door and cried. I was sad and pissed off. But after that, it was much better. So, if you can, try and bridge that gap between your sister and sister-in-law. They can be a tremendous source of support for you in times like this but they may not ASK to be unless you take the first step to let them know it is okay for them to broach the subject.

We were given a card that really hit home for me. To this day I cry when I read it, but the words still give me comfort:

"When someone comes into our lives....
and they are too quietly and quickly gone,
they leave footprints on our hearts....
and their memory stays with us forever"

If there is anything I can do to help you, if you ever need to let it all out, please feel free to PM or email me. I can't say that I know how you feel but I can assure you that I share the knowledge that there is no greater loss than that of a child you love so dearly.

Tricia

Hi everyone,

So much is going on with everyone I don't even know where to begin.

Skittles, I think you might be onto something about all the preservatives in foods. I would say it is more common for our society to be taking anti depressants than taking vitamins. Sad but probably true. Plus we have become so overscheduled, in our everyday lives. Which adds to the stress. And I've never seen more food allergies in kids these days. I work at a school cafeteria, and there are some kids that are so allergic to peanut products that they must be segregated from the other students. Just the aroma could send them to the hospital. Alot of my problems came from very severe PMS. It was awful. Cry, Cry, Cry. For no reason. I felt like I was going crazy. Then 2 years ago a hysterectomy. I wouldn't want to go without my Zoloft.
Sometimes I think as women we think we have to be so strong, well personally I got tired of fighting the battle all the time. I feel so much better. I still get down, but not like before.

Gloria, Are you kidding? I'm going for a thong. Yep, uh huh, oh yeah! Pamela
Anderson watch out.

Well, I just down working out at my toning class and I am going to be sore tommorrow. We did walking lunges which always hurts the next day. My legs felt like jello during class. And I will probably suffer a couple of leg cramps tonight. Anyway, I better get some laundry done myself before tommorrow. Everyone have a good evening.

Cheryll