Jacque, welcome back. I'm so glad to see you again. I was worried you had deserted us because you had thrown in the towel on your weight loss efforts. Glad to see you haven't. I am so very sorry to hear about your friend. This must be incredibly hard on you. Is she ill with a terminal illness? Has this been going on for a long time or did it come on suddenly? If you need to talk, please do. I'm sure your being there with her has meant so much. Take care kid. :grouphug:

Jacque,
I am so happy that you are back. I am sorry to hear about your friend. You and your friend will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Good morning ladies!
Well yesterday was lovely. I stayed op as such and made a salad for dinner, it had smoked chicken, mesculin salad greens, carrot, cucumber, tomato and toasted walnuts. It was sooo good! BF didn't even want to drown it in dressing or tomato sauce! hehe.. then we went for a walk down the beach and foreshore which was lovely, except some nasty sand fleas decided I looked tasty!! he he.. We looked for rock crabs too on the way home, it must have looked funny a 36 yr old guy and me clamboring over the rocks like 5 year olds screaming with delight when we found them! he he... the best part was too, that we decided to leave the garlic bread we got for dinner until we got home, and when we got home we decided we didn't need it! and only had 1 small piece of cheese each! (we both love the stuff!!).. so overall my food for yesterday wasn't too bad. That's the thing tho, a small cheat a day works a lot better for me than 1 cheat day, as I'll get sneaky and not count having a chocolate bar or biscuit as being the cheat day - in my mind cheat day is like a kiddies birthday party type deal! lol...I used to be able to eat this way and stay skinny, it was just when other factors got introduced that I got fat.

But I am off to the dr today to talk to her about a couple of issues, I think my b12 has gone kaput again for starters, which would explain why I am so tired all the time at the moment!

Jacque. I am so pleased to hear from you, I too had begun to worry that we had lost you! I am so very sorry to hear about your friend. I hope she is comfortable - if you need to talk, i'm only a pm away.. Mad hugs to you and your family!

Red, sorry about the puppy.. that makes me really sad. You have so much love in you girl! it's amazing! So how well do you know about the hallucinogenic properties of jasmine tea aye? tea is good. I only drink green tea. It's the only hot drink I drink! he he ooh except for hot black current juice, now that is heavenly!

CG- hey way to go on planning your exercise, and also working out ways to build it into your day! you are right, stair climbing is great for fitness, endurance and also encouraging your body to increase it's oxygen carrying capacity. Unfortunately for me with my budget blood (thanks mum, dad and the spanish raiders!) it hurts like **** when I climb more than about 7 flights.. but I too am trying to get better at it. We could have a flight tally competition going each week if you want?

Stormy - Sorry I never answered your question! There was something else I meant to reply to today too and i have forgotten. My elephant must be sick at the moment.. anyway, I have been trying to lose weight for about 10 months now. it took me 8 to loose the 17 lbs and since then I have been maintaining or so it seems. Anyway it is a long time for so little, but I wanted to do it slowly to give my body time to adjust... I have dropped 7% body fat tho, and immensly increased my strenght. I know I have put on a LOT of muscle the last few months. At the start, I had a few appetite control issues. You see due to having smaller bloodcells than most people and there fore carrying about 1/4 the oxygen in my blood and iron that most people have, I have to eat regularly otherwise I get the death shakes, and get pretty sick. It took me a while to find a match between my energy intake required with all the activity I was doing, and what I needed to lose weight and also to get rid of my "i better have this too as I don't want to feel crappy in an hour" eating. Also I must admit for the first couple of months, and really until about october, my diet still had junk food meals in it at least 3-4 times a week. When you cook for yourself it's pretty boring eating the same food 3 days in a row cos you made too much, and sometimes I would be so tired I wouldn't want to cook. Also for a while I had a relapse of my SADS.. which leads to me eating crap. The thing is tho, that often when my weight hadn't changed as such people would still comment that I had lost weight, so I think my body just builds muscle before I notice much fat loss.


Ok, CG's questions: Short term goal - fit my porno jeans comfortably with minimal overhang by end of feb, long term goal - have a toned stomach
The only thing I don't really do I suppose is wear tight tops or crop tops in public.. I scare the rest of the world with my bikini at the beach, but realisitically, especially with the ethnic mix of people in my town, there are people in a lot worse shape at the beach than me, and I am happy with how I look so no one else has the right to make me feel ashamed!

Well work calls..
Peace
Tiffany

things not looking good yet. . .
 

Hi people. Morning here. I don't feel like doing much of anything but have so much that must be done. I have been putting off writing up that interview and the deadline is upon me. I just need downtime and there is none for me. I don't know. It always seems that the hardest times emotionally are the very times when I have the most that needs to be done. I cannot just sit around and nurse my feelings. I have to put on a game face and get out there and pretend I'm up and interested in my work. This is ****. Today I have to work at that publisher and it's the last thing I want to be doing. Screw it. If I don't act pleasant I will make a very bad impression. I am extremely in debt and don't know where the money will come from. Keeping the horse is killing me I guess. Maybe my wanting to do it all is crazy. I don't know. But I must get out there and keep going. I have to have incredible staying power. Really, I don't know how I do what I do myself. But something inside tells me just to keep going, keep going. I will just have to try to slog through it all.

Crime girl -- thanks so much for the horoscope. Yes, I must find acceptable ways of dealing with sorrow. And that I will do when I can allow myself to think about it, which usually entails crying so I can't do it now. The dog's story is just one of millions here, neglect and eventual death from either/or starvation and exposure.

I have to get out. I can't write now or I'll just have to cry again and I have to like I said banish all thoughts. It takes incredible mental power to keep the thoughts at bay. I can't be surprised by them. I can't allow myself to think of things or I can't function in order to do the things that need to be done. This is not good in that it does not allow for a mourning process, a healing process. All it does is put things on hold. Then again, this is not a loss like a human's death, a friend's death or relative. It's that but it's just a dog. Instead it is so wrapped up with anger and hate at people for how they treat animals. So my tears are both hot angry tears mixed with sadness, the worst there are I think because they leave you feeling so small, so powerless.

It's just another chapter of many of the same in an animal lovers' life. I have never understood how people can consider themselves compassionate if they only care about other people. My respect for the human species is at a low, as it often is. I need a philosophy to deal with this but have yet to find it. Perhaps, I have. If I were to harden my heart so it didn't hurt anymore I would be no different from those who can look suffering in the face and turn away in indifference.

Ok, sorry to be cryptic. I'll explain more later. Then again, I probably should just shut up.

Others, I will try to catch up later today at some time. Since this is supposed to be a weight loss forum and not a wailing wall I will say, I have been stubbornly determined to eat right and did yesterday. Many of your stories inspire me to keep on. Keep it up. We can hang in there together. These victories add up and amount to great things. They affect all parts of our lives, not just the numbers on the scale, the amount of fat on our bodies. Attaining a lean, strong body, as I think we all are striving to do, is just as much about attaining strength of spirit.

NBK, just saw your post. Will catch up later, as I said. I do feel better now. I am going to get out and slay monsters and make this day MINE!

Red - part of weight loss for so many of us is that we need to dind a wailing wall that is NOT shoving food into our gobs. So wail away. You are right, humans suck. BUT there are some pretty cool exceptions to the rule. Just remember tho, I know this sounds cruel, but sometimes the kindest thing you can do for an animal that is suffering is put them down. Yes you might be able to fix them and nurse them back to health in a long time, but does the animal need to be frustrated and in pain for that time really? I don't know, I suppose this attitude comes from growing up on a farm and coming home from my first day of school to find my pet lamb being resucitated by my very worried father (it had decided stones were a good thing to eat!) who was more upset about it dying than me - I think I asked if we could then have lamb chops for tea! oops.. and also that our evil neighbours had fed 1080 poison to my kitten and she had to be put down. It's just part of life and yes there are people that willingly neglect their pets and/or dump them and presume they can fend for themselves when they can't, but you have to look after you too Red. As you say, you are in debt and all the money you spend on your animals is part of that. I'm not saying don't do it, but perhaps you need to draw a line where caring for animals stops and caring for Red starts. I hope this makes sense and doesn't seem cruel and heartless.
Cheers
Tiffany
P.s perhaps today you should be called BUFFY the Slayer

Hi guys,

Long day - just got in. Had one client and vacation planning scheduled today but ended up with emergency clients all day long...no vacation planning. I'm so bad for doing this stuff at the last minute!

Jacque - I'm so sorry for what you and your friend are going through! I will keep you in my thoughts and we are all here for you if and when you want to talk.

Red - I'm glad you pulled things strong today! It's so hard to start some days!! I agree with you that humans can reach all new lows - several times a day!! Animals can love unconditionally - I wish we could learn more from them!! I'm renaming my lab - yellow shadow. She goes EVERYWHERE I go. Right now she's sittting at my feet with her head in my lap beggine me for attention.

NBK - good luck with the doc. Get that B12 straight!!!! I know you know all the things that go wacky when it does...for one thing every single fibro patient I work with is lacking it!! I take it every single day - I'm scared if I don't I'll end up on shots and I'd rather be tired than give myself shots (I can say that now :) I'd do the shots if I needed to :) ) Good luck. I hope things get straight for you soon!

Crime girl - I hope your day turned out a great as it sounded. How great of bf to take you in and come get you. I know what you mean about parking too!! I went to the night program so I had a 10 minute window..that if I got there in the window I'd get good parking...if not I was walking a LONG ways at night, alone! Glad you got to work out too! :) Keep up the great work..I'm with you about the cheats steam rolling on you :) That's why I consider bellpeppers cheating...If I don't - I'll eat them every day and then the sugar too :) I have to convince myself it's all equally bad in order to stay straight.

Stormy - Girl -have you tried the shorts lately? I bet they're looking good! How is your weather doing now? Is it getting any warmer. Your trip home sounded rough!! I'm glad you made it in one piece :)

okay - question...short term goal - to hit my weight from 2 years ago. 133. I'm at 136 today. Today, also, I wore for the first time since BF and I met, I wore the shirt that I met him in. A semi tight little gap t'shirt. White with black sleeves. I went to my massage therapist's house - we went to school together and Bf and I are friends with her and her husband. When I walked in her husband looked at me and said "oh my god Meri! We just saw you three weeks ago - look at you!" I was soooo excited!! Massage therapist gave me the "you're so skinny I hate you" speach and was really cool about it. Before I left her husband wanted my food list - man if he only knew :) Anyway, it really made me feel great!!! for some reason people don't comment on the way I look ever. I could be bleeding from the head and I don't think anyone would mention it. Not sure why. So hardly anyone has commented on my weight loss. It's frustrating to work so hard and NO ONE NOTICES. This was a wonderful gift - and greatly needed!!

Okay - what i won't do. Bikini is the top of the list...but right now I CAN'T because while I'm at a lower weight, boobs have not changed AT ALL. I hang out of all the tops - really badly. The rest of me is much smaller so I look like they're fake right now.

okay better spend some QT with BF before I leave town!!

Righty ho - LGH CONGRATULATIONS on wearing your "new" old t-shirt and getting the compliments! See the battle with the rice cookie demon has paid off! he he. Yay. I'm stoked that you had a lovely comment. As for the no bikini cos your boobs are too big! lol.. do you KNOW how many women would kill to have that "problem".. I think you'll find the BF doesn't see it as a problem either! I know guys that have bought their gf's bikinis with bottoms the right size, but the top too small purely to get the spillage effect..immature I know, but then what guy isn't! I buy bikini tops for 'D' cups, even though I'm a C.. as you get a bit more support and no spillage! You could try that maybe. I hope you had some awesome "QT with the BF" too. ;-)

Stormy - LGH is right. Try those shorts on! I'm sure they look great. I wear shorts and we are the same size. If you feel a little self conscious, then slap on some fake tan. It's amazing how much you can hide with a tan! he he he How's school going? I was a bit confused about you flying home after a week.. did it close down due to the snow storm? Or do you have sections at school for some of the time and then do work at home for the rest?

Damn it's hot today... Hopefully I can go for a swim tonight, but ONLY if I go to the gym and do my pump class first. Swimming will be my non-food reward for being good today.

Well I hope everyone else is having a good day/night/sleep.
Ciao bella
Tiff

The doctor was really friendly today. She said i looked pretty in my outfit (my special skirt the BF got me to say thanks for organising our last holiday and a yellow singlet top i got in Australia).. and then when I showed her this bruise on my leg that hasn't gone after 9 months, she said I had lovely legs and the bruise would probably always be there which was a pity.. So that's better than last time when she told me I was fat and HAD to lose weight. Oooh ooh and she said I had toned up.. (sorry for the boast)

On the B12 front, I had a blood test so will know in a couple of days. If it goes down again, I am writing to the stupid people at the thalasseamia institute who CLAIM that my form of the disorder has no effects and inform them that once again I have low b12 for no reason other than my budget blood. last time I wrote to them asking for advice or treatments and prevention, they claimed that B12 levels have nothing to do with the disorder. Mind you these are the people who claim that it has nothing to do with permanent aneamia and low oxygen content in my blood. Grrr.. ok so just so I don't have the form where you have to have constant transfusions and chelation therapy doesn't mean I'm not a sufferer! (sorry for rant here..)

But then the dr gave me the usual BMI talk and how 75kg needs to be my magic number and that I should never get to 80 again in my life. The funny thing was she showed me on the xenical chart, and for a second there I thought she was going to offer it to me! lol...

OK ok ok another post from me.. I know I am a lame *** with no life (actually I just have heaps of work that is driving me nuts, it's all drawings and they are sooo boring!)

anyway i wanted to say, a VERY pleasant unexpected bonus from having lost a bit of weight is not having to spend 20 mins with the nurse trying to find a vein she can take blood from! I have always had shy veins, but when I was at my HW, it got really ridiculous trying to find them. Today the nurse got it first try! yay!!

That is all

NBK - I'll be crossing my fingers for you and your blood test. hope you get some answers! Great comment from the doc too :) I'm still waiting for a positive one from mine. :) As for the swim suit tops - I'm a 32 DDD.....tough to find supportive ones for me :) they'll go down when I've lost ALL other weight - until then I'll look like I paid good money for them :)

Night all :)

One quick post before bed...
 

Hi everyone!
Sorry I haven't been on- today is my crazy day and I have little time to do much. I did manage to work out 30 min with Maya and walk my dog a half a mile though. I am starting to look at that as necessary stress relief so I am making it a priority. Starting to enjoy the effects- less stress, better sleep, and more focus in class. YAAA HOOO!

Jacque- I am glad to see you back and I am also sorry to hear about your friend. If you need to talk I am also just a PM or email away. Jump on when you can but we understand if it is not often. I will keep you and your friend in my prayers.

Little grasshopper- DDD, huh? I know how you feel! The only thing is I have the body to make them look in proportion. :lol:
I am glad to hear you feel my pain with the parking situation. I think the worst part is that they charge us automatically in our tuition for parking then they don't provide enough parking for everyone. Makes me crazy!
Did I read right and you have a new dog? I just love the affection and unconditional love they can provide. If Charlie wasn't already named when we got him we probably would have named him therapy. :lol:
I am so glad people are noticing your hard work and weight loss!! Congrats! That has got to make you feel good!! :D

NBK- Great job not getting carried away with eating even though bf is there to distract you. Sounds like you had a lot of fun and your tone changes when he comes home. ;)
Thanks for the encouragement on my struggle to exercise. I would love to have a stair climbing challenge with you. I ran up the stairs in the business building (5 floors) twice tonight. Hurt like ****.
I have to ask you- what in sam hill are "porno" jeans?? Is there something you are not telling us. :lol:
Your doctor adventure sounds like it turned out good- docs don't lie about whether you look like you have lost so you must be doing great! I am glad they managed to get blood without hurting you looking for veins. Man- I hate giving blood.

Red- Sorry you started off feeling a little blue this morning. I am glad you rallied and I hope it ends up to be a great day! Don't worry about coming on and "wailing"- yes it is a weight loss board but I think we all genuinely care about more than just how weight loss is going. You can complain, yell, cry, laugh etc all you want. We are here for you. I am also only a PM or email away so remember you are not alone- use us if you need us.
Hang in there with the dog- I know it is hard. Like I said before I would exchange some people I know for a dog or cat. Like someone said - you have a big heart and a nurturing soul so I know it hard for you. It will get better and unfortunately what will be - will be.

Okay folks- I need some sleep- I go to work tomorrow and I have another full day. I am going to get up and workout with Maya- go to work- come home and talk to you guys- then get some reading and studying done! The busier I am the less I hunger for food I dont need. :D

Tomorrow is "what in the heck have I been eating day". How about if we tell what kind of healthy rewards we use. Is there a particular food you get if you follow your plan that is still healthy?? What are some nonfood ways we can reward our hard work??

Question of the day is:
What was your favorite outdoor activity as a kid? bike riding? playing sports? hiking? jogging? What made you race outside??

Have a wonderful night everyone!
Sweet dreams full of ...wait not this again...ok...just sweat...er...I mean sweet dreams!
:^:

Good morning!

NBK-I was also wondering what porno jeans were? I go to school everyother weekend. I am finishing up my doctor of physical therapy. I usually drive about 7 and a half hours but my car is in the shop so I have to fly several times. As far as shorts, since it is winter I only wear them in class b/c we have to when we perform gait analysis and so on. I will start getting some sun in March and I tan very easy. So I plan on looking good in them soon! Hope your blood tests turn out good. Also congrats are your veins being located easily. Little successes add up. By the way my father in law was on Zenical and that stuff sounds nasty.

GH, I am not sure why people do not comment on weight loss. Maybe some people are just not observant. I always make sure I comment when someone loses weight. I know they appreciate it. I have had a couple of people comment on my weight loss. I have had others ask what I am doing not hey you look good. My hubby told me yesterday that my butt is looking good. I do not know how he could tell that with my scrubs on but he asked if I had bought a smaller pair. I do not want to hear about your complaints about boobs!!! I can be 50 pounds heavier and none of the fat goes to the boobs. It's amazing. On the other hand my sister had to have a breast reduction. I guess she got them all. I told her to ask the doc if I could just jump on a gurney next to her and maybe they could just suck hers into mine. Even after the reduction hers are still so much bigger than mine. Oh well...

CG, you sounded much better after yesterday than in previous weeks of school. You also worked out. Wow! You are doing great. I am so tired of school work. Yesterday I spent 7 hours doing school work and I am not even close to being done with what I have to do.

Red, how are you doing? Did you go out and conquer the world? How is the eating and working out doing? Positive thoughts, right???

My favorite outdoor activity as a kid was sailing and biking. I still love both! Howeve, I have not sailed in years.

As far as food, I always reward myself with chocolate on my cheat day. Either icecream, cookies, brownies, or a real candy bar. I look forward to this all week. If I get a craving during the week I try to tell myself that I am only so many days away from getting to eat it. So far I have not given myself a non food reward. I do plan on getting new clothes when I hit my goal weight. Even though I have that size in my closet I still want a couple of new things. I think I may get myself a new bathing suit but I have stretch marks now so I do not know. I guess I could just wear shorts with them.

Hey Ladies,
It's in my being absent that I've truely learned how much support you ladies have been to me! Thank You :) I am hoping to be back and active in a few days, although it's tough right now...

My friend has Cystic Fibrosis, so her entire life she's been told "You probably won't make it to next year." But next year kept coming, and at 24 she's done much with her life that she didn't think she'd be able to! Including graduate from college and get married, so she's very lucky to have had such a wonderful life! She has spent the last 2 months in the hospital fighting the flu, so we have seen it "coming" but that doesn't make it any easier... So if I just disappear again, you know where I am! I'll be back and active ASAP.

On another note, lucky for me...hitting the gym has proved to be a successful theraputic outlet :D I'm so proud of myself for that! Unfortunatly my eating habits have been HORRID!! So hopefully soon I can get this all in check and get back to being a loser :D

Well, Jacque - I'm very sorry. You're right - knowing it's coming does REALLY prepare you. We're here for you - anytime!! Good for you, for going to the gym and finding that outlet!

Stormy - I'll let you know when I have my reduction and you can share the room with me :) Growing up my grandmother would call and the first question she would ask my mom was how big my boobs are! (I got them from her side of the family - my entire family here is flat!) I can also remember singing in a wedding and my cousin leans over to my brother (both grooms men) and asks him if I've had a boob job! Right in the middle of the wedding!! I'd gladly get rid of them - but I Know I'm complaining to the wrong person :)

Crime girl - I hope you lose your weight in equally all over :) My wish for you!!

okay guys, I've got to get back to work. Reports to do before next client.

I am mostly on plan with eating right now - but am intentionally cheating a bit. I can't be completely "clean" when I get there or my stomach will revolt the first time I have grandma's food :) I am taking somethings with me - snack foods and things for the flight and late night munchies :) I'd rather take it than snack on junk.

My favorite thing as a kid was swinging as high as I could and singing at the TOP OF MY LUNGS! The two combined were heaven to me!

Good Morning you Wonderful Losers! (he he I love being able to say that without getting punched)

Well last night I didn't go to pump, it was just way too hot, So after a smoked chicken salad (and garlic bread eeek) BF and I went for a walk down the beach and then for a swim.. he complained cos the water was colder than earlier on in the day when he had been surfing, but for me it was bliss! I love being in the water, it's just so relaxing! I wore a singlet down, and when we were walking back, i put his t-shirt on as I HATE things clinging to my stomach, it just makes it look worse.. so anyway we got to the point on our walk where I was going to have to swap back, but first I said he should put on my singlet! Kind of as a joke, and secondly as I hadn't dried off as much as I hope, to stretch it a bit. Well when he put it on it was TIGHT as.. and he was amazed cos he thought we were the same size...and it is loosish on me so that was kind of neat! but the best part was that despite him constantly going on about chocolate when we were at the supermarket later on that night, I didn't cave and so I had no night time treat as such! I'm really happy. And I dealt with talking to my mum with out having to resort to chocolate to cheer me up!

CG, Stormy - My porno jeans, well they aren't really porno, just at the moment. They are these really cool designer jeans by a surf label that is notorious for small sizings. I got them in a size 12, 1 size above my goal, but I got the tape measure out and they match a size 10 more.. anyway they're the ones I can do up with an overhang at the moment, and there is a bit of a camel toe thing happening, hence "porno". They have paint splashes and grafitti on them. I can't wait to wear them in public!!

Jacque - I'm so happy to hear that your friend has done so much. I had a good friend who also had cystic fibrosis. She died when we were all 21. She had done so much also - my first memory of her is showing everyone at school her feeding plug in her stomach! She turned out to be a brilliant photographer. You know, sometimes knowing it's coming does make it easier, but the waiting is torture. I will remember you and your friend in my thoughts. Congratulations on going to the GYM! Even if you are eating horribly you wont be doing as much damage as if you weren't exercising as well. We're proud of you! :)

Stormy - Pfft about stretch marks. I find a bit of baby oil or lotion on mine has made them fade (after a hot shower works best) and no one else really notices them. I was with the bf for about 6 months before he noticed them.. we're both pretty observant, and I'm not a lights off kind of girl! he he. He just asked me if I'd come off my bike badly as a kid. So don't worry about the lines in your bikini... seriously. People just don't notice, and if they do, chances are because they are JEALOUS!

CG- way to go on making the exercise a priority! yeah yeah yeah! Walking the dog and playing with maya.. maybe if we cave and get an xbox/PS2 i'll get that game and see what you're raving about! Stairs, yesterday I did 4 trips up and down 1 flight of stairs, plus a mammoth effort of 6 flights. (I don't know if I should count the 1 flight trips, the ladies toilet is on another floor, so I have to take them if I need to go!) I'm really impressed tho that you are dealing with being busy at school and home so well. It's great! and You sound so much happier!!

I also hear you ladies on the carparking, we had that problem at my school! The worst part was, there were places along the streets that didn't have lines marked out and you would get people who through inconsiderate parking could waste up to 3 car spaces! Used to drive me NUTS! I used to leave nasty notes of peoples windscreens telling them to get parking lessons. he he

LGH - You are right, some people would pay a ridiculous amount of money for those puppies! he he.. oh well.. It's funny though, people with large breasts want smaller ones and often people with smaller ones want large ones! I think it would be cool if you could "dial up" a la stepford wives, the size breasts you want depending on your outfit and your mood. Now that would be cool!! Except you would have to have special elastic skin... hmmm still it would be cheaper than implants or reductions..

Ok.. well since I have gone back to my original philosophy, I have been remarkably on plan. My favourite "healthy-ish" food treat would be cheese hmmm lovely cheese. I also reward myself with things like Shopping in my wardrobe for clothes i used to fit, didn't and now do! and when I get to 68kg or 30% body fat, I'm going to get my belly button pierced.. just cos I can! he he.

My favourite thing when I was a kid.. well when we had the farm, it was calling the horses to the fence, jumping on their back and making them take me for a ride (no bridle or anything, so really i sat while they grazed).. um playing int he hay paddock or playing cowboys with my brother. when we were in town, it was going to my riding school or riding on my bike! but I must admit, I have always loved reading and more often than not would just curl up in the sun and read.

Heh guys, I'm here. Just haven't had time (and not really felt like it) to write. I'm OK though, thanks for asking stormy.

Hey Red.. smile! I hope you are really truely ok. I'm thinking of you!

What can I say, NBK, you laugh some, you cry some, you rant and rave and life goes on.. just the way it is. Though it's tough at times I'd rather feel it than not. Early morning here, listening to some great Jimi Hendrix. . . him and Led Zeppelin are where my heart calls home. . . gotta leave soon.

I hear you on the music. I love it when you can just melt away into an awesome guitar solo, and for that brief 30 seconds or so, everything is just the music and you feel free. Pleased to hear you have something good to listen to!

But know that any rave, rant, cry, laugh or shout is welcome here! This might not be the wailing wall in jerusalem, but it is the wailing wall of weightlossdom! You listened to me when I needed it most, I'm here for you.

limewire.com!! the world's your oyster.

by the way, was it you that said you loved velvet revolver. i love sucker train blues! tell me some more bands like that. i'll download 'em all.

out the door now. later.

hmmm oysters... you know i haven't been the same since I ate 3 doz when I was 2...mum wasn't too impressed either, they were for her dinner party!

Yeah it is me that LOVES VR.. I'll come up with some more bands.. collective soul is good, as are Stone Temple Pilots. But yeah sucker train blues rocks! That limewire looks really good, I'll have to put the BF onto it. Have a great day! (hug)

Red, I hope that you will start feeling a little better. Music always helps!

NBK, My stretch marks are faded but I still feel concious about it. I love your story about the shirt. That is awesome!

Jacque, I am sorry about your friend. CF is a hard disease to deal with. Hang in there and use that gym to work some of the stress out.

GH, keep me in mind when the boob fat transfer is available!

Hi guys - packing for my trip. I have stacks ready and guess what I did for dinner.....salad - good and guess what later - a custard and brownie with chocolate suryp. Don't worry -I'll pay dearly for it. Right now though - it was worth it. :)

I will be better on my vacation - promise. today I got to work and every single person that works there was sick! Every single one!!!!! All we can figure is that a patient brought it in. Anyway, the doctor checked me on the same things they were taking because he didn't want me getting sick on vacation and sure enough I needed it too. Good save!!! I'm not sick, but I sure didn't want to get it either...looks like i was fighting it pretty well :) :) some times I really LOVE working there :) :)

okay , I have to pack - 4 a.m. run to the airport tomorrow :) Talk to everyone soon!

Good evening!!
 

Hi everyone!
Where is everyone tonight?? We are usually so much more chatty!!
I just got settled at home for the night to study and thought I would catch up. I worked all day today, came home and did 30 minutes with Maya, did some laundry, and cleaned up a bit. Now to what I have been putting off- studying! :D

stormy- It must be nice to tan easily. The only way I can be anything other than very pale white or bright red is to get in a tanning booth. The sun does nothing but burn me!
Congrats on people noticing your weight loss- it has got to feel good that all your hard work is paying off! ;)
If you are looking for a donor for a boob transplant I will gladly give you 85% of mine. I hate them. You can have the back aches, men talking to your chest, and the inevitable tripping over ones own boobs in old age. :lol:
As for your comment on my change in attitude- you are so right- I am feeling so much better now that I am exercising every day. I actually looked forward to it today! :D

Jacque-Glad we can offer at least some support for you. I know it is hard for you and I am truly here if you need to talk.
Great job getting to the gym and I bet it will help with stress. It is good you have an outlet for that.

Little grasshopper- I am with you sister in hoping my boobs go with the rest of this horrible fat. I think I am going to look for "boob exercises" so that I can get ride of these things.
It is so funny you mentioned the swings- I use to love those as a child and I haven't thought about them in ages. I use to see how high I could go and if I could make the swing set jump. :lol:
Have a lot of fun on your trip- great idea taking snacks with you. We will miss you- don't forget to say goodbye.

NBK- I love the water as well. If there is one thing I miss doing that I don't do because of my weight it would be swimming.
Sounds like you and your bf are having a great time- I bet it was a boost for him to not be able to fit in your clothes. ;)
Thanks for explaining the jeans- I was beginning to wonder if maybe you should tell us about your "night job" :lol:
If you are thinking about getting an Xbox- i will tell you I love mine! Maya is so fun to work out with and it keeps me motivated and challenged. On top of that there are a lot of other really great games. My next investment will be the dancing game that comes with an interactive dance mat.

Red balloon- I am now officially worried about you so I hope you are happy with yourself! Are you OK? Do you need to talk and feel you can't? Email me or PM me if you need an outlet.
As for music I can relate- you listen to the good artists too. I listened to Comfortably Numb so many times before a final one time I started humming it during the test. I love the great rock bands!!
By the way- if you need to rant- hit it sister! Let it out! It is OK- we are here to help or just listen. You don't have to get on and speak to everyone if you just need to vent. Just pop on and let it out! ;)

Okay my fellow losers! :lol: I need to go and actually study- sigh! :^:
Hope you all had a great day today! Keep smiling- makes people wonder what you are up to!
Tomorrow is - "what the heck have I been doing to move my bootie" day so speak up and let us know all the great ways you have been shaking it.

I need to answer the question of the day so- I will say my best memories are running at full speed without restraint like only a kid can do, playing in the forest with my brother, bike riding, roller skating in my basement, the swings, and reading a lot!

Good night everyone- I won't be on until tomorrow and I will post a question then. I will also try to get your horoscope up as well Red.

CG - he he he my "night job". Sometimes I forget that not everyone has spent the last 7 years of their lives in a mostly male evironment (arggh that's like 30% of my life) and that a lot of my adjectives are a bit off! Mind you the extra $$ would be good for my student loan. Well done on all the exercising.. you still sound so happy! Have you tried any of those crockpot recipes yet? I'd be interested to hear how they went.

LGH - I hate packing. I loathe it sooo much.. and as a result I always panic and over pack! hmm I have to say tho, that custard got me thinking.. maybe that's something to look forward to winter for! Custard with chopped up banana and chocolate chips..! Good luck with the eating at G'mas, I hope your body doesn't give you too much **** for it, you've been pretty kind to it recently! It should be grateful!!

Stormy - I have a plan.. you get the boob transfer, some togs with a tiny top part and then you can guarantee that NO ONE will be looking at your faded stretch marks. he he... Of course then you will still probably feel self conscious. I hate it when guys look down my top! ugh..

Well off home for the evening, I am going to go to the gym (even if it is just to cycle and do my shoulder weights).. and then for another walk along the beach. Yay for good weather!

Red I hope you are ok! Kia Kaha
Aroha (peace/love)
Tiffany

oooh.. p.s togs = bathing costume/bikini/swimmers

I'm OK, really. Kind of get these times I just want to go in and deep for awhile. Actually, I have talkative times and very quiet times where I don't say anything much at all. That's when my hard rock core comes out. Thanks Crime girl. I'll be writing soon enough and you'll all be sick of me. NBK, Stone Temple Pilots -- Sex Type Thing is great. I just downloaded a bunch of titles that sounded "hardcore" and this one was great. Sounds like Axl Rose from Guns 'n' Roses with a touch of Nirvana too. Will have to look up the members. This newer stuff is always good to intersperse with in my "oldies" Zepp, Hendrix, Doors stuff. I used to run a bar for students when I lived in Munich. The place would rock till dawn, long after all the others in the Studentenstadt were closed down. We'd have Irish, Czechs and Germans, totally wasted on vodka and beer, dancing on the tables. It was a bash. Don't know what made me think of that. . . OK, I'm kicking this *** into gear and am heading off to the gym. Had a most excellent ride this morning (on my horse). Teacher actually said the canter to the left (our bad direction) was good. Now, from this stormtrooper of a teacher, that was high praise indeed!

Hi everyone! Just wanted to say bye for now! Crime girl - lay off my doner person!!! I've giving MY boobs to her - you find your own :) :) hahahahh!!!

I woke up early with nervous energy this a.m. so I did 30 minute of pilates. Stormy - the Denise Austin Tape is not quite as boring as the winsor ones. I can handle this one - and it's 2 30 minute workouts. One easier one tough and mixed with yoga.

I will miss you guys - and I'll really be in need to some good butt kicking to get back in gear when I return!! I didn't get too sick from the custard but I didn't feel well either....I guess it's good in a way that I get sick eating bad stuff...it limits the amount of bad stuff I eat.

See you guys soon!! Meri

Grass, have a great time and be safe! :wave:

Red's Horoscope for today....
Today you will be a phoenix of change and good spirit. You will feel a lightness and buoyancy in your soul and things will begin a shift torward good things to come. Get out there and experience life. Today is your day to soar.

Red - pleased to hear your canter is coming along! I think it's the hardest pace to establish correctly, as it is an artificial one!
LGH - have a lovely trip

Well I'm busy busy busy today and feeling a bit like a whale. didn't pig out or anything last night.. just having one of those days.
Red I understand about withdrawing. Just don't go too far inside
Cheers
Tiff

back in the saddle. . .
 

Crime girl, thanks so much for the horoscope and coming in here just to post that. Wow, it certainly is a positive one. I wish so much to believe in it. Unfortunately, it's looking to be one of those days that will be locked into routine because I have to be at the paper. Hard to experience life in there, let alone soaring. But, not knocking your horoscope by any means! I, as I said, am a very stubborn and "contrary" person, which translates to mean that I am a diehard optimist, sometimes taken to the point of seeming madness. So, when one voice inside (sounds like Sybil!) is going, "yeah, right. . " another is going, "I'm going to show you what I can do despite that GD'd office. Soaring can take on many guises and one can reach out with the phone and through email. Contacts! Morse code from within the prison walls. So, again, Crime girl, thank you for your horoscope. I really appreciate it. :love:

NBK -- isn't it great with the canter? Every time I make a little progress and actually, this was bigger than it sounds, because it meant my legs are finally NOT moving and I am sitting with absolutely no movement in my upper torso, finally getting to follow the movement with only my elbows. My horse just wants everything so right. In a way, her "uncooperativeness" is, I suppose, like a schoolmaster's listening to every little movement, except with her she does it because I think she doesn't want to be annoyed by anything I'm doing that she doesn't understand. Good for her! Being half cold-blood, maybe more, she is a lovely trotter but the canter has been very poor, four-beat and she has a lazy right hind and is always wanting to lean heavy on the left fore. But again, that lovely trot is only once she decides to go. Even with an excellent rider, she seems to need to be told, "Look, we're going to work." She'll be balking and then a few slaps with the whip and perhaps a spin and she'll suddenly just switch and that's it, she goes forward without another word. The similarities between her and myself are never lost on me! ;) So, yes, it's been hard. I think I am learning amazing things from my teacher, who is a tiny woman, I mean, can you say anorexic, but actually I think she is very strong, like a wire (she's in there mucking out stalls every day) and she wins top awards in the national shows here) but she is just so non forthcoming with any sort of praise or encouragement. But I watch very, very closely when she rides and am also learning to understand her way of communicating and not be hurt or discouraged so much by what she is saying. OK, enough of that, sorry nonhorsey types. I should PM this but it's too much trouble.

As for music, thanks for collective soul and STP. I found "spit me out" by collective soul. Really like that as a slower song. Slow songs, unless they're like blues or Louis Armstrong things, really bug me. I get so impatient listening to them. Do you know spit me out? I really like that kind of sound too. People think I'm stuck in the old music but I'm not really. I just didn't have exposure to new things but I love finding new music. I especially love to make up tapes with really strange mixes that include things from the 40s and so, Judy Garland singing Over the Rainbow or Frank Sinatra's My Way, Satchmo's What a Wonderful World (which always makes me cry) Elvis or maybe even a bit of modern classic such as Debussy's Clair de Lune and then the next song will be a sudden leap into Rob Zombie or Chemical Brothers. I think you're like that too, aren't you NBK. By the way, your real name, Tiffany, is so cool.

**********

Answer to question about favorite thing is I think very similar to Crime girl's answer. I guess for me it was just movement, running, bicycling, sledding down the hills at breakneck speed, riding this red wagon down the hill and then turning it before it went out into the main road so hard that it would skid out and tip over (that's the only way you could stop it). Because CG said, what made you "run" out of the house I was thinking of those "fast" things I used to do.

OK, gotta do some work, eat breakfast.

Stormy, grass, Jacque, kjk (where are you?), michi, anyone I missed, check you out later! :wave:

Red, hi! Stone Temple Pilots have been around since around 90 or so. I saw them in concert more than a few times. When I first saw them I was in 9th grade and hardly anyone knew them. The lead singer is now the singer of Velvet Revolver. His name is Scott and he has an awesome voice. Now what is going on with you? Crawl out of that dark hole that you are in. We are here for you. You only get one life to live so make the most out of it. C'mon RED!!!!

GH, check in before your trip. I hope you have a great time. Don't let your diet get in the way of having fun. Have you tried Stott Pilates? It is on sale at Blockbuster right now. There are also several Denise Austin Pilates tapes. Which Pilates ones do you have with Denise Austin.

CG, thanks for the boob offer. I do not want huge ones but I do want more than I have. For example, if I am wearing a form fitting strapless dress I want something to hold the dress up. I wear 36B, it just does not go with my body. I blame it on starting exercise and sports too early. I have always been somewhat of a tomboy.

NBK, I am so jealous that you get to walk on the beach. You know that walking in the sand is also a great form of exercise.

Hi there, stormy, you were posting when I was. Yeah, I'm OK, thanks for thinking of me. I'm not really in a dark hole. Well, I mean, actually I'm pretty weird I suppose, meaning I'm actually never really forthcoming about myself. But it's not really because I don't want to be. I just have never been a chatter. Never. I suppose that's why I write and you see, this is writing, but sometimes it feels like talking because of the immediate response of things so maybe in the more emotional times I withdraw from the conversation.

But you guys here are great. I love the mix of people we have, but especially that most everyone seems to be pretty active and full of life. I don't meet enough people like that, in fact, very few and the older I get the fewer there seem to be. People my age are like dead! as far as I'm concerned and even many people 20-30 years younger than me are dead or just so shallow, like zonked out on codeine or something, nothing inside there, maybe dulled from too much TV or something. I used to think this "dead" thing was an age thing and now I realize it has nothing to do with age at all. My grandfathers and an aunt I know were incredibly active till the day they died and they lived long long lives, my aunt is still alive. I think I take after them.

All this talk about boobs. . . Can't say I have anything to offer. :lol: I'm more with you stormy, nothing much there except when I put on fat. I think once the body learns to access the fat cells from those areas they start to disappear. But for some people the body won't use that fat until the last moment, so you have people I suppose like grasshopper is, thin everywhere but. I, for one, have no use for big boobs, much as men may like them. I have always been a tomboy and into exercise and they just get in the way.

OK, really got to go.

All right, no one posting. I guess not. People wrapping up work I suppose. I've got to leave for work now. Am going out a bit early to try to get some walking in. I have been working out and doing a lot of exercise these days. Eating has been so-so, still wasting a lot of calories on sweets. I suppose the weight training is depleting my glycogen stores and I just want something real sweet. But I have been limiting it and putting good food in FIRST. And last night I just said, "No, stop it, enough's enough. Either you get this fat off NOW!! or give it up, shut the trap."

START WALKING THE TALK!!

Hmm you can be a tom boy and have boobs! Ok so mine aren't huge.. but they are there! 36-34C lol.. but it does hurt to squish them under life jackets and in harnesses. so in the end I figure youre right.

OMG... Scott Weiland is very hot. He is an amazing singer, just the fact too that as the years have gone on, his voice has got better. I am soooooooo jealous you have been to see him stormy.. but soon oh soon I get to see him too!. BF is a bit non-plussed about my schemes to get back stage or get an autograph.. he he.. I'm joking most of the time.. ;-) Sorry for the teen scene guys...

Collective soul are great too, I really hear you about slow songs. If it is slow, for me it has to have some ethereal musical quality, something that makes me think - gosh this is beautiful. There is a song on STP's 5th? or 4th album that does it for me. It's pretty sad.. it's called: Wonder. The lyrucs are pretty sad but beautiful at the same time. i presume he wrote it for his wife/sons.
But yeah I am a bit weird about music just like you red! he he. I love 'cellos in classical stuff. it's that haunthing deep but hollow sound they have.

Thanks for the comment on my name. Sometimes I get a bit down about it when I constantly see it on Rikki lake or jerry springer belonging to some stripper/crack addict/whore.. but hey take the good with the bad! he he. It's not very common in NZ.

Stormy - I know I am so lucky to be able to walk on the beach. When i was in europe, that was one of the things I missed dearly. That and the sun!

My co-worker is trying to sell me some skis at the moment.. now that would be fun, but hard to think about in summer!!
Take care
T