I suppose I should have made myself more clear on the first post. I do believe people can be depressed and sad, I just hate when it's used as an excuse. That's what I meant.
I've got a crying kid and dinner cooking, gotta go.
I agree that it shouldn't be used as an excuse to hurting some. HOwever, I reread your post and it sure sounded to me that you don't believe in depression and to quote "I don't buy post partum depression" I day or moment of feeling sad isnt' depression. It's a period of time of two weeks or more. We all have days were we feel sad or not ourselves, it is completley different from depression which is like that day you had in the bathroom, but one which never stops, it goes on for hours on end in the day with no break or let up and it goes on for days. Please rethink things before posting. I'm sure you didn't mean to upset anyone. BUt obviously things that you think are touchy subjects, should be thought about before posting them. It's like saying people who are raped "asked for it" We know that NOT to be the case. But if it were said, we'd have an uproar. We have to be careful the way we post things. Writing is different then a face to face conversation. You don't always get the emotion or facial expression that says alot. Writing is very different. I guess we know now that's not what you meant, but pleaseeeeeeeeeeee be more careful.
Roxy- It is the aspartame in the nutrasweet(equal) that gives you headaches. I have read that it has been linked with causing cancer in test animals. Not really good stuff. Splenda, however, is derived from sugar. And sweet & low is also a good alternative. I have found that Splenda tastes better in hot drinks and the sweet & low better in cold.
I was also a ppd sufferer. It actually started before I had Ella. I just always felt like I was outside myself. I saw what was going on, but felt like things were a dream. I can't really explain. I just didn't fell like myself. I had a few emotional breakdowns, but I mainly just closed myself off from the people around me. I felt like I wasn't good enough. That my kids deserved a better mother, my husband a better wife and so on and so on. After Ella was born things got a little worse, but my doc prescribed something and it was gone in about 6 weeks. It was difficult for everyone in my life especially my husband b/c he works out of town he couldn't be there when I really needed him to be. Fortunately he was able to spend the 6 weeks after she arrived at home. I would pray everyday for God to deliver me out of this trial, but He knows and best and He must have wanted to teach me something through the experience. Or maybe just be able to help someone. God is always with us, but He allows us to go through trials to strengthen our character(think Job).
Hey ladies. I'm not going to talk too much on the subject at hand since I have not experienced it but I do know that I have had friends that have had PPD and it was totally out of their control. Everyone is different and we need to keep that in mind.
Anyway onto other subjects. I changed my siggy a little. I took out my mini goal of being in the 130's by my birthday cuz that's not going to happen! LOL And I finally added those 7 pounds onto my siggy that I was denying since Thanksgiving! LOL I really need to get those off. My dh and I are about to go grocery shopping and I am going to start the 1st phase of SBD and hopefully jump start my system and start losing again. I was doing really good for awhile but I got too comfortable and then the holidays hit and the rest was history! My new goal in to be in the 130's by spring break and to my goal weight by the summer sometime. I know I can do it!
As far as the Splenda nutrasweet conversation, I have also heard that nutrasweet causes cancer in animals and my sister is a health major and always tells me to stay away from it. I can tolerate Splenda ok but I can still taste the artificialness of it, but it does fine when I need a sugar fix of some kind. Kind of makes you wonder what's worse, the chemicals in the substitute or the real sugar!
Well I need to get crackin, need to get some dinner then to the store, then back here to do the challenge, need to pound the water in too! I hope to be back later to check on everyone! Have a great night!
Okay I feel I have to speak up on this matter as I have a history of SEVERE depression. I don't have a great past and I'm not exactly proud of it but I have moved on and I am a better person now for everything that has happened in my past. I moved a lot had to start over and had to hide from people before. I had an eating disorder as a teen even though I wasn't overweight. I was also a drug user and not just pot, I smoked crack cocaine on a daily basis for awhile, it made me feel "better" and it also helped with my eating disorder because it supressed my appetite and made me throw up. I also cut myself, not in an attempt to committ suicide but because the pain made me forget everything else. I'll take pictures of my arms when I get home and post them and you can see how horrible a disease depression really is. I'm now recovered and no longer need to take my anti-depressants but this is a very real disease. I have god in my life as well and I during that time I often prayed to him to ask why I felt like I did, why I couldn't be happy. It's funny because I was a "user" and recluse until I got preg. with Taylor when I found out I was pregnant I got my
sh!t together and stopped it all, I had a baby who needed me to be there for her. I would probably be dead had I not been blessed with my daughter, she truely saved my life. I didn't have a problem with depression again until after I had Teagan, and it was immediate, the next day in my hospital room I started crying for no reason and my doctor was there I was immediately put on anti-depressants and after one month I was okay again.
Believe me PPD and Depression are very real mental illnesses. I've lived the horrors that they can cause. It's hard hearing people say that they don't believe in it or whatever. I'm proof that it does exist, and the sad thing is that there are many many people who are affected by their depression worse than I am.
I'm sorry but I just needed to state my opinion.
I'm going to take a bit of a break from the boards for a little bit. I wish you all the best. I will still be a part of the challenge and will update on the MLW site
Let me just say once more that I apologize. My best friend has suffered from major depression and even though she knows how I feel about it she and I are still best friends. Friends are friends are friends no matter what. Each to their own opinion. Nothing is wrong with having different thoughts and opinions on all kinds of situations. Please accept my apology and know that I don't feel like I can be totally honest here at all, although you all are the closest to friends I have. My best friend doesn't have a computer or a long distance phone service so we have very quick and not frequent conversations.
Once again, I'm sorry and I will have to be more careful with what I can say to my friends.
Hope everyone has a great night.
Don't get me wrong, Crystal...I respect you're opinion, even if I don't agree. I don't want any hard feelings between anyone. The important things to me are that I have all of you guys to talk to and that I feel better about myself and my life these days. I had a great sermon at church last night about seeing what God sees in us rather than the imperfections we see in ourselves and others and how that ends up dictating our lives. He sees our flaws and that doesn't change the way that he feels about each and everyone of us. It made me feel a whole lot better. I was in the dumps about not losing this darn old weight, but that's not what makes up all of me.
OKay...to more pleasant things I guess. I did okay with being OP today. I went to my nephew's babtism and then to a family brunch afterwards. Then when I got home we started painting the kitchen and livingroom. We're trying to get everything done this week while my husband is home. We have to paint Nicole's room and the family room. Also finish the fireplace and other misc. projects. Wish us luck!!!
Good night to all of you. Sleep tight and stay warm if you're in a cold spot....
Hello to all you ladies out there! I am home tonight catching up on some stuff on the puter...I wasn't going to post, but I really feel as though I should.
First of All, I think that it is truely a wonderful thing that some of you felt compelled to tell you story of PPD, or depression in general. I know that must be tough to relive those times, and that talking about them brings back painful memories. I am proud to be friends with each and every one of you. Its the human condition, raw, in your face, right here. That is so important to sustain a healthy friendship. Thank you for that ladies. I myself was just a mom with the case of the "baby clues"...what everyone kind of goes through. Cry in the shower, feel overwhelmed. I can say that I feel blessed to have never gone through anything much more serious. I do however read the papers, believe in doctors and have friends and family who have been effected by this disease.......and as of late....had an uncle so badly depressed to the point of taking his own life leaving his family of 6 ( a wife and 5 girls) behind to pick up the pieces. Crystal, I know that you did not set out to intentionally hurt anyone, and I know that you now feel as though expressing your opinions here is not possible. I have a problem however, with you expressing such a strong opinion and feeling as though others should respect it, when your FRIENDS are crying out to you to let you know they care and that they are worried about you, telling you there own stories and revealing their pain to you so that maybe another will not suffer. There is no reason for you to re-coil as though you have had your hand slapped. I think my mom always put it well when she said "if you can't take it, don't dish it".... We care about you and want to give you our honest "opinions" so maybe by some slim chance it would be appreciated and recognized for what it is. God in your life is so wonderful, and as any spiritual person will tell you, it is wonderful to have spirituality in your life to hep you through the hard times. It is so important to find a steady in you life and for most that is god or religion. HOwever, there is no proof that I can find that says, if you believe in God, depression is not an option. If you are telling yourself that, GOD help you. We are all human, and have despair, hopelessness and doubt. God gave those to us. HE know what we would do and what would be said before we ever breathed a word. But we all have choices of how to handle these "Demons". Andrea Yates made her choice. MY Uncle his own choice. Michelle made hers, and Melissa as well. A pastor at my uncles funeral spoke these words so perfectly. " If I were to come to your home and sit with you, then the lights all went out and darkness overtook me. I would fumble around, accidentally breaking your vase on the table....would you fault me for that broken vase?..The answer is no, because sometimes in the darkness we do things that cannot be undone, never the less, that was not our purpose, just merely an accident that occured because of the darkness". That is how I look at depression..its a disease. Ever seen Lord of the Rings...its like Gollum. He was overtaken by the ring. He wanted to do good but in the end, the darkness won and in the darkness is only when he did the unthinkable things that cannot be undone.
Crystal, I hope that it is understood that I am not saying you are WRONG, or that you are depressed, because youa re feeling some of those things. Based on what we know about you, it seems as though you take on a lot of unwanted burden because you feel you have no other choice. You let your husband walk all over you, from such simple things as when and if you get a haircut to what kind of vehicle your family can afford to safely accomidate them. I understand that you feel you should just continue to let "sleeping dogs lie" but I think it is so sad that you think so little of yourself and your needs. Being a mom and a wife is by no means a party. I undstand how you must be feeling right now, there is alot on your plate, and half the time, Im sure we don't even here the half of it. Its not fair though to you as a human being, a person, with opinions, to be set aside or "seen not heard". There is nothing wrong with wanting Allison to be here, or wanting to have a break by being in the hospital to have some relaxing time with your new daughter. I just fear that you are more troubled than you let on most times and as your friend, feel like you should get all of my honesty. I hope that you realize that as your friend, I wish you only the best. I just see some sort of opression that you allow yourself to have, as an unhealthy thing. Again just my opinion.
I hope that you find happiness and understand that we are all here for you. Feeling sad, doubtful, etc is nothing to be sorry for.....it happens to all of us. I just pray for you that you might find peace in your head and heart. (((hugs))), Kristin
