Good morning everyone. I can see now that the time difference has you all writing when I'm asleep, so I wake to lots of posts and people asking, "Where is everyone!" I'm sleeping! and wish I could be chatting with you, but . . . I'll try to be good for slipping in a side shot of words, kind of like a side job that gives you a little boost of cash in between paydays!
Wow, having finally got a broadband connection to my computer is great. I'm using a Mac with OSX right now and the iTunes on it is great. I hook up to some Net music and listen to it constantly, just leaving the connection open. I'm usually only into hard rock but I've always like butt-moving blues and I've been listening to that. It's great to put you in a great mood. That, coupled with my caffeine jolt, should have be flying into work today, the first day back in a week and I'm NOT looking forward to it. I feel like the entire day is just a total waste even though I know I need the money. It doesn't even motivate me. That shock when I got back from Hong Kong just did something. It shattered my last little feeling of trying to hold on, of hope that things would get better and, moreso, it just was the last straw. Something inside me said, Enough! and now I have no interest whatsoever in the place anymore. Don't even want to joke with my coworkers. Ugh and double ugh. Gotta find my fantasy GOOOOD feeling again. Ok, now who sounds like she's on more than caffeine!
Behind things here, what have I been eating? Well, it's better than it had been, especially before I got back from H.K. I've been off the postmorning caffeine and off sugar except for a couple days around Christmas where I indulged because they were truly special occasions. So, other than that I'Ve been back on my usual fare of unprocessed foods and, since I'm a vegetarian, that means brown rice, oatmeal, vegetables and fruit but I have been having too much cheese and too much good German bread with organic peanut butter. This is the problem. I can eat really good foods but I always eat way too much! I hate counting calories but either I'm going to have to find a plan and stick to it knowing the amount of calories without counting them or I'm going to have to count.
So, yes, I've got to get on a plan.
Crime girl -- I really want to say thank you so much for keeping us on track about what we're here for, weight loss, sticking to our plans with an eye on our goals and MEETING them. With so many threads things just end up with everyone talking about everything BUT diets or with just an aside to them. Your plan sounds tough, 1200 calories, wow, I suppose that's what I have to do, but you see, as soon as I start exercising I get so hungry. For a while there I was upping my calories with the exercise and that seemed to work but you see, it necessitated me counting calories and I really hate that. Well, gotta do something different if we want to see different results, right?
Yes, isn't it awful how how we feel about our bodies prevents us from doing things we'd like to. You really should bicycle and not worry about your butt. If no one's stopping you. My sister is like that. Doesn't want to go to the gym because she's "too fat." When I see very heavy people at the gym I say "good for you!!" inside. It's so inspiring to see people trying to make a change in their lives. Unfortunately, a lot is affected by the environment and the people around us. I feel horrible riding because I am the biggest one there and I know the owner absolutely hates anything but ultra lean look. I mean he's a horribly cold person and I say I don't care what he thinks but just knowing he is looking at me with contempt hurts. Whenever I'm in the States I always lose weight because I feel free to choose how I want to look. No one anymore, at my present size, is making rude, lewd remarks. Here, however, I am always the big one, even though I'm only 5 feet 1 1/2 inches tall! But I am overweight, sure maybe not compared to what I could be, but I'm still overweight. It's hard though not having the right kind of support in my environment. I guess I have to learn to find that totally within myself.
And yes, Crime girl, I feel much better, thank you. Took some Nyquil before bed last night and that always helps me sleep and get better. Glad you enjoyed your early morning shopping trip. Early morning is fantastic. It's hard getting up but when I don't I really miss it.
Crime girl, stay OFF the scale!
stormy -- your plan sounds good too. Good luck! Heh, I don't know anything whatsoever that's cheaper in Tokyo than elsewhere, except maybe tofu. When you say "this area" maybe you mean surrounding Asian countries, no? Then again, since I never go near the clothes stores here I wouldn't know. I'm not kidding about the size 6s and that is actually a Japanese Size 9, which translates into a 6 American. Yes, I have had the experience of being told that with utter disdain and at that time I was a lot smaller. I was also younger and more vulnerable to slights but even now, since I don't like what I see in the mirror, I don't enjoy shopping. I used to be a lot heavier and even in the States could never find clothes that fit. That was back in the '70s though and stores didn't cater to larger sizes much. Maybe they do now I don't know but it was always a traumatic experience looking for clothes. I think this is why this is one of goals, to have nice clothes. It's something I never did before.
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little grasshopper -- Oh, I know just how you feel with it being too cold to get out. I didn't go to the gym yet again yesterday because of the weather. What a wimp I am. It's a long walk though. I haven't driven a car in about 25 years! Honest. My license expired in the States so even when I'm there, which is rarely, I don't drive.
Good to hear you are getting rid of your anger. What were you angry about, if I may ask. Your diet sounds fantastic. What do you think is your main obstacle to weight loss? Just too much of a good thing, like with me?
Last edited by redballoon; 12-29-2004 at 06:18 PM.
Okay, I just found a way to turn this day around because I could already see the slow slide into oblivion! But I like to say, each day is our canvas and it's up to us what kind of picture we're going to paint on it, with whatever it gives us, we get to turn it around! So, remembering that, I checked the yearend gym schedule on the Net. I was thinking the place would be closed or close too early for me to make it there after work. But NO, it's open till late as usual tonight. Yes!!
So, the only thing I can foresee stopping me is my own godawful laziness! I'm taking my gym stuff to work and I'm going to hit that place tonight, work up a good sweat! Nothing's going stop me.
Now, gals, please hold me accountable, OK? I need a whip here and I want you all to crack it! Any of you got a sadistic streak in you, bring it out for me will you! I've got to whip this big A of mine into A+ shape.
Last edited by redballoon; 12-29-2004 at 06:54 PM.
Hi guys! I'm home from a strange day at work. I almost passed out on a client. Don't panic. I'm fine! I left the room when I realized what was happening - I kind of lost track of time and space for a second. I came out and the doctor happened to be standing there...all he said when I told him what was happening was "yep, he's done that to me before too." I have NO IDEA what that was about but he fixed me up and I grounded myself a lot more than before and I got through it. I had two more small spells where I thought I might pass out but nothing like the first one. I have had that happen once before a long time ago but it was a very very sick patient and I was just in the room with her - the whole building wasn't the same after her visit. After that day though we were all fine with her. I don't know if she was just in a really bad place at the time and we weren't prepared for it or what. Anyway, I was fine after he left and the day continued as normal but what a start!! Please don't ask me to explain it, I can't.
CG - 3 pounds..what the heck have you been doing just kidding. You know those scales lie!!! Don't panic I'm sure it's water or something very easily explained! It sucks to get on the scales and feel like you're going the wrong way though! I feel your pain!!! I'm still avoiding mine. I don't care what they say right now - we're not on speaking terms anymore. Keep up the good work. Like you said, you're serious about it now and there's no stopping you!!
As for the food combining, it's based on something to do with digestion rates for starches and meats. It's easier on the digestive system to process one at a time. I heard of it through a book "fit for life" I ate on this diet when I was a teenager and felt the best I've felt in my life! My brother did it and lost 100 pounds. You have to be careful to get enough protein with their plan though.
Stormy - You get a lot of exercising in! I am trying to build up to that. I did my 30 minutes of walking today and some light weights for back and legs. I have to start very slowly. I feel really good now!
Redballoon - I don't think I'd like shopping there either. Last time I lost weight I got into an 8 and was so excited. Someone on a different website's SUPPORT group immediately pointed out that the store I got them from size differently and the 8 was more like an 11-12!! So much for support....As for what I was mad about - not sure entirely. I think I was just an intense personality from early in life and that was the only way I knew. I needed control, and I needed things done NOW. It didn't help that I stayed with a job I was not suited for at all, for more than 9 years. I think I was also angry, out of fear. I wanted to do all these wonderful things but I was scared to try. That made me angry too. Life is much happier and peaceful now.
As for my biggest obstacle - I struggle with moderation and balance. I tend to be an all or nothing kind of person. I either exercise like a freak or do nothing...eat really well, or horribly. Not much balance in those areas. I think it's a control thing...I'm either in total control or I give up. I'm working on that now. Well I'd better get to cooking dinner! Talk to you soon!
grasshopper -- we were posting at the same time. What happened!?! Are you OK?!!?!? There must be some energy from your client that is affecting you, no, if the doctor says "he's done that to me." You know, energy, reiki, ki, is all very big over here as it is, after all, the Orient. I am a big believer in this kind of thing and I suppose this is what was happening if you are otherwise healthy and not taken to fainting, low blood sugar or such. Yes, that is probably what it was. If you work with this guy again you'll probably have to not be so "receiving" or whatever it's called, taking his energy into you. You'll probably have to work on "getting it OUT and away" from you. Hmm, very interesting.
I like that, "not on speaking terms" with your scale!! That's so funny!
I can't believe that someone would point out that a size 8 at a certain store was more like an 11 or 12?!! Yeah, really, call that support!? I hope you got off that site right away! I mean, like, who needs support when you can go braless!
An "intense personality" Hmm. Again, interesting. I like the sound of that. I think I know what you mean. It sounds like you wanted to express yourself, to express your power and you or something was holding you from that. I'm glad you understand that now and, I hope, are moving in that direction. A lot of overweight women are very powerful women who have been kept under thumb by society, family, "loved ones" etc. and we have to throw off that yoke and really LIVE! More power to you, kid!!
As I read through your post I see uncanny similarities with myself. Moderation, balance, yes, ugly words in my book but words I'm starting to learn to understand in a way that I can work with. I used to see them as words that meant I had to compromise myself, now I'm starting to understand that this is the way to true power.
I'm the proverbial hare in the tortoise and hare fable. I love to work in spurts then sit and sleep under the tree. And this tale seemed to be telling us the tortoise was the way to be. Well, **** no! I'm a hare and I say, the race just ended too soon. There's no way that if the hare had a bit more time that any tortoise is going to beat him. It's just the hare has to get a little smarter about how he uses his abilities and then, wow, he can blow that tortoise away!!
Well, good luck to you! Let's get this show on the road, eh?!
Last edited by redballoon; 12-29-2004 at 07:13 PM.
You're too funny - I'm sure if given the time you'd win EVERY TIME!
I know what you're talking about with Reiki, Ki and Chi. The office I work in uses a lot of eastern medicine mixed with weatern and naturapathic. It's a great blend - kind of the best of all three worlds. I am otherwise very healthy - never fainted in my life. I am working on grounding myself more than before. We learned to in school but it didn't that important at the time...there was so much to learn. This is twice that it's happened and I need to get a better grip on it! I can't be passing out on the people that need me most
I know how you feel about moderation - seems really boring! I don't know how it happened to me. I think my line of work has a lot to do with it. Again, soft lights, nice music, my whole job is to help people relax and better manage stress. For the most part I do a good job - either that or it's another area of all or nothing behavior I'm excellent at it, or fall totally apart We'll see.
I do know that when I told people what I was going back to school for, most thought I'd lost my mind! They thought I didn't have the personality for it. I knew I did, I was just stuck in another mold and trying to make myself fit and it wasn't working - so I became bitter angry. It's hard to look back and see that that's who I was, very intimidating and powerful SEEMING....but inside, very insecure and scared. I'm very glad to have shed most of that!! I could have lived my entire life that way.
okay, time to belly dance
OH, Stormy - funny you mentioned the meditation - I remembered today that I use to count my breathing when I got scared - it calmed me..I did it today and it worked really well. It's kind of a beginners zen trick. I suck at it - always getting side tracked, but I did it the same and it worked really well
WOW! You guys hop on the board with a vengenance. Thank God! I was feeling chatty today and had nobody to chat with. I started talking to myself but I have already heard everything I have to say so I bored myself.
I have been in the best mood today! I love when you look back at your day and you accomplished all the things that you sought out to do. It happens very infrequently with me so when it happens it really makes me giddy! I got everything done and am getting ready to indulge in some "me" time. I have to work all day tomorrow so I need the down time before I face year end accounting.
Anywho- glad you all jumped on to talk:
Little grasshopper- Promise you are OK? I think red is right and you picked some bad energy off that guy. I think you should let someone else have him next time to be sure it doesn't happen again. That would freak me out.
I am going to look for "Fit for Life"- I will have bf get it from work because he works at a bookstore. I need to look at how food combinations effect my digestion. I want to try to eat as healthy as I can and feel as full as possible. My temptation is to eat out of habit when I feel anything is wrong. Kind of like - eliminate eating as the cause of me not feeling well. Don't know if that makes sense or not.
I can identify with the all or nothing mentality. I tend to get fired up about something and go full tilt for awhile until I hit a snag then it is forget it and nothing. I am going to try to not do that this time and allow myself to be human and mess up sometimes without totally abandoning everything. I guess I am guilty of throwing out the baby with the bath water.
Red Balloon- I feel for you with the work situation. From what I can tell it seems that you were really engaged with your job before and have become disenchanted. I hate that you dread going to work. That is an awful feeling.
I can't believe you are faced with such small sizes over there. I would have to buy a curtain and fashion it into a fetching garment if I lived there. It would take 3 size 8 dresses to get the material for one of mine now. Buying clothes here is already a struggle. I imagine the sales ladies would have a coronary trying to help me or probably a back strain from kicking me out of the store. Geez!
Did you go to the gym young lady??? You can do it!! Just visualize that moment at the end of your workout where you say to yourself- Why do I resist coming to the gym? It feels so good to workout. You know what I mean- that total relaxation you feel when all the stress has been worked out and you feel like you can jog around the world. There will be nothing but good things from going to the gym so you better go!
Just a quick reminder to everyone- tomorrow(for most of us- we will pretend it is Thurs for red too) is "have I been moving my bootie day" and it would be good if we talked about things that work for us to motivate us to go to the gym or exercise at home. I also would love it everyone told us their "exercise plan". We all know we need one- because left to our own devices we would all be on the couch with a pint of Ben and Jerry's and the remote control. Besides I need to vocalize mine so you guys can kick me in the caboose if I don't at least attempt to stick with it.
For tomorrow as well- how about for the question: At what time in your life did you feel the most fit and healthy? Explain the time and what you were into that made you feel that way.
I will start :Mine would be in high school when I played soccer and ran every day. I ate right because I only ate when I remembered to at home ( and mom only made healthy things). I was so obsessed with soccer that I thought of food as fuel and I wish I could get back to that mentality.
Okay I will pop back on before I go to bed-
Hi CG - sorry I missed you on the board. I was in the journals. I have this never ending need to type, I guess I promise I'm okay. I just picked up his junk. I hope he atleast felt better It probably won't happen with him again. This use to happen, but it would be me picking up the person's pain. I learned to recognize it and stop it at first sign of a problem...this hits in a wave and starts with the feeling I'm going to throw up and quickly becomes, I'm gonna hit the floor soon. Can you imagine getting a massage and suddenly your therapist is passed out on top of you!! MY GOD, I don't know how I'd face that client again!!! Anyway, it's all good. I even worked out after work and was totally fine all day after he left. The world is a magical, weird place sometimes!
okay, so ben and jerry's and a remote control AREN'T exercise?? What kind of a boot camp are you running????? just kidding! My exercise plan as of last week is to walk 30 minutes a day at a 15-20 minute mile pace. I am doing either belly dancing or pillates alternating and I am doing yoga stretches throughout the day to better take care of my tight muscles I am wearing a pedometer and trying to hit 10K steps a day. So far today I'm at 9, 565. I will be at 10K by bed time. So I'm doing much better at moving that before.
Crime girl, do not worry about the weight gain. It is water weight. Try to weigh yourself at the same time each day. I read that as females our weight can fluctuate by 2-5 pounds each day secondary to our hormones. I love the thing that you and your mom are doing. That is great. I would like to write a book on my dad and his crazy self.
Red balloon, you are sounding much better. Have you been working out? The whip is out!
Little GH, woah that is crazy. Someone else should see him next time. What belly dancing tape do you have?
fittest I've ever been?? 3 years ago, after my 3rd and 4th black belt tests. I was training 6 days a week for 2-3 hours, HARD. I was in rock hard shape!! I was rock climbing, trail running UP mountains and loving every minute of it. The thing is though that I had no idea I was in such good shape because I trained with two girls that were in much better shape than I was (at least I thought they were - I still do, BTW). I was so busy watching them and wishing I could be like them that I never realized how great a body I had. I am shocked when I see pictures that I ever for a second had doubts about my figure - Also I was dating a guy a year earlier that felt I could "stand to lose 5 pounds" I did have the sense to dump him, but I still heard what he said and it fit my view of myself compared to the girls I trained with, exactly!
So I am not worried about all that anymore. I may never get that body back, don't know that I want to - it was HARD to keep!! But I do want to feel strong and in control of my limbs
Oh, and I'd like it if, while I'm moving my bootie, it didn't fade completely away - I have no butt now! My back just kind of fades into my legs. I can't imagine what it will look like if it gets smaller. People will be making charity "panty padding" donations!!
Little GH, time to start the stairmaster and squats to build that booty!
Your comment about your ex reminds me of some of my friends boyfriends and hubbys. Why do people have to be like that?
Ohh, I forgot to tell you guys. One of my patient's wife asked me if I lost weight. She said "wow, you are loosing weight aren't you?" Woohoo. See I can believe her better than my hubby (he he!)
Here is a good piece of info: The center for disease control has found that women in their 20s are 30 pounds fatter than they were 40 years ago. Yuck!!!
I'll try to start posting little tid bits like the one above a few times a week to keep us motivated. How does that sound?
Tell you what little grasshopper- I will give you a portion of my butt and maybe then I can go for a bike ride.
I don't think I will ever be as fit as I was then but it is still cool to look back and see that at one point I had it all together. The funny thing is that it wasn't a big deal to me back then. I took it for granted and assumed I would always be healthy and fit.
stormy- I think the thing with my mom is cool as well- she is the one that tied us together and I think it is a good way to have something just between us. My mom is retired now and my dad is a type A workaholic like me so I am glad she has something to work on when my dad runs off to work with Habitat for Humanity- his new pet project. I also am attempting to get to her to read and the project is helping with that. I read that reading helps prevent Alzheimer's. Dont know if it is true but worth a try and keeps her happy.
I promise I won't let that mean ole scale get the best of me. I don't know why it is being so mean- you would think me losing weight would make it happy because I do stand on top of it to weigh myself but scales are just inherently evil I guess.
Where is everyone else?? Michimesh- if you are out there- we miss you and hope you are doing well!
Sthrn Belle- jump on board and talk with us when you can.
We also use to hear from oraki,susanne, donna, cinisha,phoenix, and kjk. Where are you guys?? We miss you. Jazzmine too- she has been on some but is still a little MIA.
Maybe everyone has not settled back down from Christmas etc. I hope we haven't lost anyone. If you guys are reading along and not posting just give you a holler so we know you are OK. Feel free to jump back in anytime- no questions asked.
Okay- I need to go-
stormy- I must have posted at the same time as you-
I would love it if you posted tidbits! Great idea!
Also congrats on someone other than hubby noticing the weight loss!!
WOOO HOOO!!!
Stormy - VERY COOL that they noticed!!! I know what you mean about believing others before you can believe your hubby. They can be sneaky sometimes and they know the buttons - both good and bad
I promise to start going some squats - actually I did some, sort of. I was squatting while drying my hair. I have a lot of hair, does that make it any better? I like the tidbits Idea! You're right, stuff like that is motivating! Oh, the way I belly dance isn't very sexy. It looks more like an epileptic fit, in slow motions I'm working on it though
I heard this week that celebs are now taking cardio stripping classes and having the pole installed in their bedrooms! Talk about motivation!!! I bet I could get BF to work out with me then Not sure I'm ready to take that step in my workout ritual just yet
Little GH, I also heard that everyday housewives are taking that stripping class. I guess their spouses must love it! You are hilarious about your belly dancing. You will be sensual in no time!
Crimegirl, reading does help and so does doing crossword puzzles. Maybe your mom should also get involved with Habitat. It is a great project. We usually help build a house a couple of times a year. It is very rewarding!
Hello all....I've been following along with everyone's posts, but haven't had the time to dedicate to actually responding (thanks for noticing I've been missing, CG).
My holiday went well - had fun with friends and family. Didn't eat well, of course, but I'm re-dedicating myself (again, probably for the millionth time) starting on Saturday. Starting over for the new year! I've already made my New Year's resolutions: to drink more water, to eat less and better food, and to work out at least 30 min five days/week.
Let's see...I'm trying to remember some of the recent questions: a superhero name would be "McGyver". This isn't really a superhero name, but it's an accurate nickname. As in, the TV show. I always seem to be the person that can solve problems, and knows enough information to find a solution.
Ok, so my memory isn't as good as it used to be. Let me go ahead and answer tomorrow's question - when was I most fit and healthy? That would have to be my senior year of college. I lost 40 pounds the summer before, and was down to a healthy 165. I was wearing a size 12, which was the smallest size ever, since junior high. I was working out like a fiend, drinking water like it was my job, and was generally happy with myself. I could actually look at myself in the mirror and not be disgusted....now, looking at myself gets to be discouraging.
You all are doing wonderfully -- you are providing great support for me, even when I'm neglectful in posting. CG, thanks for the insightful questions and constant positivity. Redballoon, you are possibly one of the most positive people I've ever met. Your intellectual comments and insights always keep me coming back for more. Everyone here is wonderful, and it is great to not be alone in this battle.
Have a great night, I'll try to be more diligent in checking in....
going to try to make the day work for me!
hold me to it, people!
I've got to whip this big A of mine into A+ shape. 
just kidding. You know those scales lie!!! Don't panic I'm sure it's water or something very easily explained! It sucks to get on the scales and feel like you're going the wrong way though! I feel your pain!!! I'm still avoiding mine. I don't care what they say right now - we're not on speaking terms anymore. Keep up the good work. Like you said, you're serious about it now and there's no stopping you!! 
Easy does it, grasshopper!!!
That's so funny! 
Just visualize that moment at the end of your workout where you say to yourself- Why do I resist coming to the gym? It feels so good to workout. You know what I mean- that total relaxation you feel when all the stress has been worked out and you feel like you can jog around the world. 
