[little grasshopper]

Hi guys! I'm feeling much more energized today. Two more days of this and then a long weekend I can make it!! Today I got really good news. An insurance patient was paid in full. I've been treating her for 3 months without being paid at all...they paid the entire bill today Yippeeeeee!!!!!

Okay, Stormy - I agree, don't sweat the cookies. If you competely deprive yourself now, it's more likely you'll eat your way through January!! You have to have SOME fun, right I think you did a great job I've already calculated how many extra chocolates will fit into my new big stocking should probably figure something else out before the big day huh How are you spending your break from school...aside from all the baking

Crime Girl - Glad you're enjoy your school break too! They're so precious aren't they. I look back now and wonder how in the heck I did all that. Especially late at night when I'm tired and ready for bed and I think "man, I use to be in SCHOOL this time of night!" You're doing great! Keep it up!!!

Redballoon - different is exotic...sorry, you're it Unless anyone is interested in the excitement of life in NC....see doesn't work, does it Did you always love to travel?? I would travel for a living if it didn't like home stability so much. I've fallen in love with a piece of land and I like being here to watch it change every season...watch the trees grow and the birds feed at the feeders. (I'm sounding like dork to me right now, just so you know....) anyway, I've been all over this land mass but never left it. Some day soon How is your program working today??

Michie - how are you doing?? I hope you're enjoying your weekend - doing something completely for you Hang in there and in all the caring for mom and the family, don't forget to care for yourself too!

Well I'll post my favorite recipe next......talk to everyone soon...

[little grasshopper]

This is a quick recipe that I use to use to get rid of leftover meats or beans I have made it many times without meat and it's just as yummy! Promise (even to the guys that swore they wouldn't like chili without meat.

what ever cooked meat you have....I've used chicken, turkey, ground beef, steak, and roast...
2 cans black beans drained (you can also use cooked bagged beans)
2 cans dark red kidney beans drained
2 cans chili beans
1 can beef or veggie broth
1 small jar of picante sauce (I use medium)
I can chopped tomatoes
I bag of Carrol Shelby's chili mix (the one in the brown bag).

put it all in a big pot and cook on a med/low heat. It's ready after about 20 minutes and reheats REALLY well You can also put it in a crockpot on low and leave for work if you want..

[stormy1]

Crock pot it!

3 tablespoons olive oil
chicken breasts
1 small onions
2 tsp rosemary
1/2 cup cooking wine
3/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp redpepper flakes
1 1/2 cups canned tomatoes (I used diced)

Cook on low in the crock pot while you are at work.

Can serve on spaghetti squash (great sub for pasta)

[stormy1]

Little GH thanks for the encouragement. I ate another cookie today b/c I had to make two batches for a party Thursday night. So it seems like all my time off of school has been spent baking, going to parties and working! I am glad that you are having a good day.

[Crime girl]

What happened- everyone is so quiet today. Today is "have I been exercising "day..speak up everyone- how have you been doing??

As for me- I am doing OK with eating and lousy at exercise so I need to get my butt in gear. I have more time off because I dont have school and it is making me lazy.

Thanks to those that gave recipes- I am going to try them. I will let you know how they turn out. It is still cold here in Florida so I am going to really like the chili I know.

Okay well- just wanted to jump on and say hi and see if I can get anyone back on the board. I miss talking- I will try to get on more as well.

Have a wonderful day everyone!!!

[redballoon]

Crime girl -- I'm here, wondering where everyone is too. Guess people tend to pop in, write and then go off for a while. Keep the faith and keep writing.

I've been doing very well. Surprising myself. Have some resolve at last. But, I've been away from the office, which I hate, and that always makes it easier. Just going in to that place I see as self-abuse and then I tend to continue that abuse by eating poorly. You see, the place is abusive but I don't know how to get away. I need the money. I don't have enough income coming in from other sources to break away yet. But that is my goal. I really, really want to break away from the office. They abuse me, I further the abuse, because, like I said, going in to the office I see already as abusing myself. It's hard to allow abuse in one way while not allowing it in another. This is my dilemma. Perhaps if I could look at the situation as not abuse if I am aware of it, allow it to roll of me like water off a duck's back. . .

But the abuse is insane. It comes largely through not caring and incompetence, neglect and then slapdash attempts to fix the problems they have brought about. The paper is on the verge of going under (no wonder!) and we, the workers, are naturally the victims. I really must maintain some sort of tie to the outside while I am there. It is horrible.

But, yes, perhaps these past few days will have steeled me for this. In fact, I realize that I now do see things differently. I was not ready to leave before as much as I am now. Perhaps I should see this extreme aversion to the place as a gift.

Crime girl, hang in there. Keep talking to us. What I do in those lazy times is just get to the gym and say I'll do a tiny bit. Sometimes I really only do a tiny bit. Other times I push myself to do more or actually want to do more once I'm there. I used to think well, I can do as much or more at home but realized I just wasn't doing it so I get to the gym for principle's sake as well. If you want to be lazy, remember you can still be lazy at the gym. Knowing you've allowed yourself this can help free yourself up to do something.

Ok, gotta go.

[stormy1]

Red balloon, I am sorry about your job. I hope things start going a little better for you. I was really encouraged that you were feeling pretty good the other day. Keep your chin up! Whenever you start feeling down think of riding your horse. How did you end up overseas?

Crime girl, where is everyone? How are you doing????

Okay working out....Since it is the holidays and school is not in I have been doing a little bit more. I have been doing cardio and weights every day instead of alternating days. I workout in the morning and in the evening. When I am working and going to school I only work out in the AM and I alternate days of cardio and weights.

I ordered two new exercise videos which should be in next week. I am excited! One is a cardio boot camp and the other one is Tamee Lee's "I want that body" video. I will add those to my workout. I like a lot of variety so I do not get bored.

[redballoon]

stormy -- thanks for writing. And please stay encouraged about me for you! I AM feeling better. I'm learning to ride the bull (no taking it by the horns, that's a sure way to kill yourself!) I will try to remember that I have options many people don't. Thinking of my horse is very iffy. It has, in fact, served to probably keep me in this sorry job because I was thinking I just HAD to pay the bills and this was a way of doing it. But I wasn't looking at other ways of paying the bills and that is something I must do. I am sick of the treatment I am getting.

Right now, I have two hours before I have to leave for work. I have finished transcribing the tape of a talk I had in Hong Kong with the stable guys for one of the horses and I realized, as I had feared, that I don't have much material to work with. But I'm going to come up with something because this story is for an outside place (not the newspaper) and I need to have these connections now more than ever. Being in the midst of things, I forget that people on the outside may still find something interesting in what to me is old hat. I say I got nothing but it is something and I should just embellish it and away we go! Talking to people here helps see me and my situation differently, from your eyes and that is important because when anyone writes they're usually writing for people on the outside and if you lose sight of how they're seeing things, you lose sight of your readers, which for a writer, especially in newspapers, Web sites or magazines, spells death or being relegated to hack publications or -- yourownname.com!

And stormy, you're doing great with your exercising. Twice a day!? Wow! Very impressive. New videos are always fun. Hope you like these. I need to make room in my tiny place before I can hop around without breaking the backs of a couple cats!

Ok, on with the story!!

[little grasshopper]

Hi guys! sorry I've been mia. It's been good but hectic week! I have gotten one lunch hour all week and I've worked late every day - but the good news is that nothing is really falling behind - I'm managing to keep it all caught up and I'm eating really well. I realized today that it's Thursday and I haven't cheated all week

Redballoon - I'm so sorry your job sucks! I can understand how frustrating it is. About 6 months before I turned 30 I was killing myself working corporate management. Had no life, no real friends that depended on me, and never saw my family. Then one of my friends had a kind of mid life crisis about turning 30. He had this long list of things he HAD to do before he turned 30. Bought a count down clock and everything. Most of it was positive stuff but he was so over the top it drove us all crazy!! Every email signature was the # of days til he was 30 years old.....it went on and on. Then he started talking about applying for his dream job. He never tried, and he regretted it already. He couldn't face having this birthday without knowing he at least tried. That got me thinking. I hated my job. I cried 2-3 times a week!! That's when I decided I didn't want to turn 30 without knowing I'd made the effort to go back to school and do massage. That's how it happened for me. I was scared too death!! I worked 3 part time jobs while I was in school. Got rid of the company car and bought an OLD car that ran well and got rid of as many bills as I didn't need and then just suffered through. I'm soooo glad it did it now!! When the time is right, you'll know. Until then just know that all things are temporary!!! You can handle anything for a while and this is temporary!!

Stormy - way to go on the exercising!!! I bet your'e feeling stronger and better all the time!! Good for you! How did all the baking go? I was looking through recipes for banana nutt bread today at work. I want a treat of some kind for the holidays. Something that isn't totally over the top but still special to me. I got caught The health food, you can't have anything doctors both caught me! They were very kind about it and I assured them it wasn't for me I've been asking people at work for recipes they've pulled together too - mostly because the diets are so limitting, anythig new is..well...new. No luck. Seems like everyone else is just eating the same meal night after night - I'd go crazy!

Crime Girl - sorry. I've been away too long. I promise I'll be better after tomorrow. Exercise...what exercise. I havent' done any this week other than stretching. I'm really sore and tired though......A lot of work this week. Won't help me lose weight any though. I will be better next week. I'm even calling a gym closer to my house to see if I want to join their gym. I am giving up my current membership because I never ever go to where the darn thing is. it's right by my old house but in the middle of HORRIBLE traffic and I hate going there. Plus it's a cheap, dirty gym anyway. Works, but I never go so it's waisted money.

Well I'd better go. I am hoping to finish christmas shopping tonight. My mom finally told me something she'd really like. An Inrico Iglasious CD I have no idea how to spell it or why in the heck my mother wants it but she gets what she wants! She is learning spanish so that might be why. She's surprising and funny sometimes! See everyone later tonight. mrm

[redballoon]

little grasshopper -- That's Enrique Iglesias. Just found it on the Net. Pretty cute but he's got to learn to keep his mouth closed! His mouth is open in every photo (except for the one where you can't see his mouth). Of course, that may be the photographer telling him to give us that "sexy look!" Here's a Web site with music clips. http://enrique.launch.yahoo.com/default.asp

Oh, look, here's one with his mouth closed. Yum!
http://www.cduniverse.com/search/xx/...3/a/Escape.htm


Thanks for the encouragement. I'll write more later!

[little grasshopper]

Ah ha!! Now I see why she likes him He's the guy that sings that song " I could be your hero baby......" He did a commercial here where he was singing to this person in the crowd with his sexy face...and when the camera pans to the person in the crowd it's a really uncomfortable looking guy...holding a bag of dorritos. Great commercial!

I have been in pain all day long. I heated both heat packs when I got home and have been laying around since. I do feel better but I'm serious need of some work! I think it's because I switched tables and forgot that my table is much wider - I was reaching way too far for the first two days and messed my body up then worked 2 more on top of it without getting things smoothed out. I have to be pretty careful with my muscles. I do great mostly but when there is a problem is can really get out of hand on me. I'm getting close now. Glad tomorrow is Friday and I can take the heat packs to work and relax a little tomorrow. Only have to do one job and have no clients so that it's a somewhat paid break.

I'm rambling. Sorry - I'm going to go get back on the heat. Can't think straight right now. See you soon! Be strong

[Crime girl]

I am so glad that we have started to talk again- the funny thing is when I said that I then went and ran errands so I wasn't here to talk too. I am at home now and looks like I need to catch up!

red balloon- I feel your pain. I was working in retail management from 1992-1996 and it was horrible. I hated going to work and I felt that I would never again do anything that I enjoyed for a living. I had a kind of breakdown one week and went to the local community college and applied for college. Didn't know what I wanted to do - just knew crying everyday because I hated my job sucked. My income went down because I was in school and unable to hold a job that paid more but it was so worth it. I worked my way through and found a passion. I am now getting ready to graduate and I can't wait to get out there and work. I think the key to having a successful career is enjoying what you do. I enjoyed school so much I didn't mind that I had to do without some of the things I had grown use to. I really never thought I would graduate when I enrolled that day but taking the first step made the next one easier and things worked themselves out. It will get better but you have got to find a place you can work that doesn't make you cry. The rest- I swear to you- will work itself out. I am a strong believer that when God closes a door he opens a window. Good luck and keep typing!!

stormy- YOU GO GIRL!! You are the workout champ!!
I am so proud of you - you are really making a commitment to making this work for you. It is inspiring! I swear I am going to the gym tomorrow no ifs, ands, or buts! If you have any advice for a workout video for me I would love to hear it. Don't know what to pick.

little grasshopper- Nothing wrong with doing a little something for yourself as long as you keep it under control. Don't forget you can do a lot of things for yourself that don't involve food at all. You have done so well this week!
Keep up the great work and get that shopping done- walking around the mall is great exercise.
Okay-well I am still reading for next semester and trying to not run down to the nearest grocery store for pie or cake. I have such a sweet tooth- I crave sugar. Sometimes I think I could eat it straight out of the bag.
Also-my parents are coming next week for the 23rd and 24th so that stresses me out a little. My dad has lost about 120 pounds in the last 2 years and constantly lectures and suggests ways I can do the same. I know he means well but he makes me feel like a big fat pig when he constantly berates me about my weight. Not sure how to fight the panic attacks- maybe the gym will help. Maybe I will go deaf for the 2 days they are here.

Okay- well ladies- have a wonderful evening. I will hop on later I am sure.
Tomorrow- let's answer the question:
What invention do you wish someone would create??
I will give you mine to start- I wish someone would invent a paintball gun to attach to my car so I can use it for cars that get in front of me and stop- it would tag the car with some obnixious paint color thus making me feel better.

[stormy1]

Red balloon-Oh yeah baby he is a hottie!

Little gh, Eating for Life by Bill Phillips is a really good book for recipes to incorporate into your diet. Also, check out your local library.

[little grasshopper]

Crime girl - I'm not sure I can top that invention. If you get someone to make it, put me on the list to order!! The big traffice problem here is people that pull all the way into oncoming traffic THINKING they're in a turn lane and then just sit there.....I swear it happens all the time!

Stormy - thanks, I'll check out the book. Someone today suggested a guide to recipes for those with severe allergies. That's the problem with 99% of the recipes I see. I can't eat most of what's in them. I'm getting there though. Hopefully by february I'll be able to eat a grain other than brown rice. Not that I don't like it I can't use onions, garlic or anything at all that is spicy. (even mint is out). I'm doing okay though. The meatball thing helped a lot Also I'm going to see if I can have sweet potatoes. I hear a lot of people with sensitivities close to mine can have them, so I'm going to check. There is also a new magazine called living without that is all about gluten free cooking. I think I'm going to subscribe to it. After all this is somewhat my diet for life now. Some things I'll get back but some things I'll be sensitive to for life. Might as well learn to make the very best of it

uh oh gotta get the dogs. bye

[little grasshopper]

okay I need help. I'm really in pain now and while I can handle that I just realized what i do when I'm in pain. I eat. I eat whatever makes me feel better right that minute. Kind of a pitty party of sorts. "it only fair that if I have to hurt I get to eat something yummy to balance it out..." not good logic. I've been here so I know what's going on but I never realized what I do food wise. I'm struggling to find something to keep my spirits high....food can't be that great a thing......I refuse to give in, but I also refuse to let this get me down, so instead I'm getting pissed off.

It's funny, stormy I bet you see this all the time....I deal with people that fight chronic pain everyday and I forget how frustrating a thing it is until I get hit with a round of it. I've just done too much this week. Thankfully tomorrow is an easy day. I need an easy day.

I need to keep reminding myself that junk food will not cure pain. never has, never will. but ug, does it ever suck to not be able to grab the worst thing in site and stuff it in my mouth!!!