Was pleased w/ last night's weighin but realize that the past 2 mos really were no different than a plateau-- except I went up and down .5 to almost a 3lb gain and now am just below where I was ... .4 less than my current sig line.....
Am feeling like as much as I've learned I really havent learned much at all....
GRRRRR.....
Yes, I know, it could be lots worse....
Just need to have my 15 minutes and get over myself...
WITHOUT USING FOOD... sugar....
**********
Thought of the day :
"None of us suddenly becomes something overnight. The preparations have been
in the making for a lifetime."
---Gail Godwin
Question of the day :
"How long will will wait "on hold" on the telephone?"
*******
I really am in a "Must Kick Something or Cry " mode this am.....
I'll be fine by time you read this but right this minute could just shriek....
YIKES!!
Guess that helped...
I think doing something physical would help too...
Oh and yes, going back to work today...
Short week, yes, but ....
As long as the thing you kick is reasonably soft so as not to hurt your feet, and is not likely to get damaged, I think it will all be ok.
Question of the day: I cannot stay on hold for very long. There is one orginaztion that I work with who puts me on hold all of the time and I take particular satisfaction in hanging up on them on a regular basis. You should try it some time. It feels very satisfying.
The temperature was in the lower teens when I left the house this morning. Blah. We have a small dusting of snow, so it does not even feel winter wonderland out, just cold. Maybe I should do some Christmas shopping to get into the Christmas mood.
So, I am currently planning a conference at work. The only problem is that the folks who as supposed to be working on it from other orginazations are just really not getting anything done. Yikes.
Congrats, Kaylets, on getting out of the funk. Hope that's it for a while for you. Maybe 'twas the moon - I always hate when the full moon starts to wane. Been fighting the 'hissies' a lot today too but didn't feel I could give in to them as it's DHs birthday and I wanted it to be good for him.
Have decided I'll never be able to catch up on responses to weekend posts so am going to give me a fresh slate. I'm still frantically chasing after the wagon. And my dining room table is once again covered with papers I had placed strategically elsewhere (hidden away) over the holiday weekend. Am feeling hopelessly swamped again though am half done holiday shopping, have some outside decorating done, etc. I thinkI just need one really good day to feel on top of things again. Now I need a dumptruck for the files project in the basement that was going so well for a while until it came to a screeching halt w/so much pulled out and undone.
Well, tomorrow's another day and a brand new month just waiting for me to enjoy it. I need very much to concentrate on enjoying the moment(s) as I really have a lot in my life to enjoy - like enjoying that I have friends I want to get together with instead of stressing about how I'll fit it all in.
"What must I do to increase my determination and improve?"
-------
It's now official.
Lance Armstrong has won the Tour de France for a record
tying fifth time.
The most difficult, grueling sporting event in the world.
He survived 2,100 miles over two mountain ranges in 20
days, the stomach flu, dehydration, crashes & near crashes
as well as the weather to do the unthinkable. Three weeks
and over 83 hours of pushing himself past exhaustion. I
can't even imagine what that must take physically and
mentally to run that race.
To most people, it's just two words, "bike race," that
don't mean too much.
But in life you've got to grab inspiration wherever you can.
To me, his record setting performance is just one more
push to make this lifetime a masterpiece. One more
confirmation that with determination, anything can be
achieved. Absolutely anything.
Here's a guy who in 1996 was diagnosed with an advanced
form of testicular cancer that had spread to his abdomen,
lungs and brain.
Because of its spread, he was given only a 50-50 chance of
survival.
But he had aggressive surgery and chemo treatments that
alone would've killed the average person, and was
pronounced cancer free in 1997. Then began the arduous
road back to health.
A few months ago, I was watching a 1997 video of him
training after his surgery. He had no hair and you could
see the U-shaped scar on top of his head where they went in
to remove part of the cancer. He said training was
difficult... he would get wiped out after only an hour and
a half on the bike.
An hour and a half, and he got wiped out!
Most people are ready to quit after 2 minutes.
After the treatment and surgery, he was no different than
anyone else... actually much worse off physically than
practically anyone alive.
But he had Lance Armstrong's mind...
...the mind that made him the best cyclist in the world.
You see, that is what separates the winners from the
losers in life.
Everyone who knows of Lance knows of him as a winner, but
in his first Tours he didn't do so well.
Here's how he did in his previous Tour races:
'93 - Did not finish
'94 - Did not finish
'95 - 36th
'96 - Did not finish
'97 - Did not enter
'98 - Did not enter
'99 - 1st
'00 - 1st
'01 - 1st
'02 - 1st
'03 - 1st
He didn't even finish 3 times. See? We're talking about
a grueling race!
But success in life is about how many times you pick
yourself up, not how many times you fail.
Since I was "this" close to using another quote today,
I'll include it. Here it is: "A winner must first know
what losing's like." Billionaire publisher Malcolm Forbes
said that. So he knew something about winning, I'd say.
You see, so many people I work with are just so scared of
losing that they just won't get involved in life and risk
falling down... of looking foolish... of losing what little
they have.
But you must.
The good stuff is on the other side of failure. You just
can't get there without it.
It hurts, sure it does.
Those months I spent in the van hurt worse than I can go
into right now. And lots of risk went into getting out and
creating an actual life. And without failure there is no
success.
None.
I've been reading the press coverage of this year's Tour
extensively, and I read a quote of one of Lance's fans
saying that this is the most excited she's ever been in her
life.
And I thought about how sad that is.
Someone else's achievement, someone they've never met -
and it's the most thrilling event in their life.
Look, I don't care if it's the World Cup, the Super Bowl
or little green men landing on Earth, the most thrilling
moment in your life should be from something YOU achieve.
And there is inspiration all around every day. You just
have to open your eyes. It's constant and never ending.
Tell yourself that you are prepared to look stupid a dozen
times today. And when you accomplish the first one, find
out what you can learn from it. After your twelfth stupid
action, you should have learned twelve new lessons that
hopefully made you smarter and better prepared for tomorrow.
Are you getting this?
That's how you use failure... to learn.
Lance did.
He failed and failed and failed.
But because he used his failure to learn...
...he got smarter and smarter and smarter.
Without the failure, he wouldn't be so dominant today.
Without the cancer, he may not have gotten so mentally
strong so as to be so unbeatable.
Unless this is an unconscious habit of yours already, do
this:
Every single time you mess something up, miss a deadline,
miss a sale, lose a race or a game, get angry when you
shouldn't or any other kind of screw up, write it down and
ask yourself today's empowering question.
You will have answers.
Act on those answers, and you'll grow so fast, learn so
much and improve your life skill so completely that you'll
look back on your life a year from now and shake your head
in amazement.
And don't mourn all the years you didn't do this.
Just get excited. Let go of the failures. Use them to
learn and let them go.
OK? OK!
By Mike Bresica--"Today Is Your Day To Win"
***************
Good morning, all you best and most excellent of s!
I'm chiming in as another of the realm that had one of those days yesterday -- felt frustrated, discombobulated, stressed, worried, cranky. And I'm sure tears were lurking beneath all that. There's a difficult family situation playing out here (feel free to skip the following!): one of my brothers bought a house from one of my sisters by giving her a down payment and moving in to fix it up, with the understanding that he'd pay the mortgage. He (always on the edge or completely broke) had a sum of money from a divorce settlement. As he started working on it, there were $urprises and with one thing and another my brother's money was gone, he's missing mortgage payments, etc. My son, who's supposed to be moving into the house with him loaned him $1000. Now, the house still needs work, there's no heat, no money to do anything. I know it's not for me to work these things out, but I'm having difficulty not worrying about it.
I'm actually taking 3 days off starting today. Working on getting my house cleaned up -- that always makes me feel hugely better.
Anyway, sounds like there was a general malaise yesterday. Here's to making today a better one! Love to all!
Oh, I almost forgot -- had carb cravings yesterday. Never struggling, but knowing that if I wasn't on the sugar wagon I would have been having myself a carb-fest. It's funny how easy it is to see that as the same thing as other abused substances when you're not going to do it and know you're not.
In other news, I just remembered this morning that my husband's office party is Saturday night. I mean, I'd remembered that it was then, but not the OTHER part of the induction phase -- no drinking! I almost said "That's it. Sorry hon, but if I can't drink I can't go to your office party." I had already thought about the food part and thought, well, I'm pretty sure there'll be salad, if nothing else that I can eat. And the darn thing is always torture anyway, even if I do drink, so why not just be brave. So that's what I've decided to do.
Sorry for being all me-me-me! I took a leaf from wise Anagram and awarded self a clean slate as well. Love!
Sun is shining brilliantly this morning (somewhat unexpectedly - wasn't supposed to be rid of the rain until later today). Helping arthritis and mood tremendously. DID NOT come to computer first this a.m. but wrote some checks, did a load of laundry and mixed up about five meat loafs for the freezer. Always feel better when I have meat loaf and nut roll in the freezer for emergencies. So while backlog is still big, it is all a little more neatly organized.
New month and "I'll get things together yet" attitude is prevailing. Wood nymph, am so glad you're taking a few days off. Much needed, I'm sure. And go knock them dead at the party. Being brave is always queenly. And queens can always rule their (SB) realm w/o mead or local variant. Am sure DH will much appreciate your company. As with Wildfire and Cerise of late, doing something because DH will really appreciate it is often well worth the effort.
Well, still sitting here in my flannel nightie so best go hop in the bathing suit as heading out to pool in a bit. No specific plans yet for later today and it always works better if I know what's coming next. Could just work on the lists. Yuk!
P.S. The clean slates are over by the "Fresh start" cards.
WN - hope the family situation works it's way in a satisfactory manner though I know how unlikely that can be. You know, I always think I sound like a Pollyanna when I say this (even if only to self) but I find the more love I can muster in these situations really does help. It is so hard for some of us to let others be in charge of their situations that I commend you for recognizing it's not for you to work out. (And you wouldn't be a queenly mom/sister if you weren't concerned about it all.)
Kaylets can't believe it's Wednesday already and I'm thinking, gawd...it's ONLY Wednesday! Month end, upcoming year end, budgets, audits, blah, blah, blah...ICK. I had myself convinced for a good part of yesterday that it was Wednesday and wasn't so delighted when a co-worker informed me it was only Tuesday.
But I do have Monday and Tuesday off and plan to do my Christmas shopping and mailing. Of course, that means buying baby stuff for my darling nephew. Ooh...I have pictures:
In other news, the hunt is officially on. We met with a realtor last night and are setting up appointments to view houses this weekend.
SeeCat, I don't know if we've "officially" met, so welcome! Nice to meet you!
Cerise, after reading about Vin's humble beginnings, I admire him all the more. The packaging is fantastic, but it's nice to know the inside is all good, too. And that gravelly voice gives me goosebumps. So did you get the tree yet???? It's December 1st...what are you waiting for? Christmas?
anagram, I thought it was funny that you said you always feel better about having meatloaf and nut roll in the freezer...but I know what you mean. It's about having a backup plan. Something we should always have to prevent falling off the wagon. Plan B. Is your pool all new and improved now that it is open again?
Arabella, if this party is something you must do, then make the best of it. Maybe eat something before you go, just in case. Hey, there's that backup plan again! I have DH's party on Saturday, too, but for me it will be a reunion of sorts because we were both working at the same company before I took this new job. I'll get to catch up with everyone! I'll raise a glass (or two) to you on Saturday, hoping your party is better than you expect. Enjoy your days off!
Eydie, our sugarless wonder...how goes it?
ceara, any snow your way? We've just had rain.
And our Faerie Amarantha?
PUNKIN, stop by!
Here's a question for you all: What music are you currently listening to? (Other than the Nutcracker, of course! )
I have Nat King Cole's greatest hits in my discman as I type. No one croons a tune like Nat. One my few memories of my father is dancing in the living room to Nat King Cole when I was probably only 3 or 4. (He died when I was 5.) Funny, I can listen to Nat and enjoy those memories, but if I hear Luther Vandross' current release of "To Dance with my Father Again" on the radio, I have to turn it off. I get too emotional. Music is a wonderful beast.
Yo! Brevity mode and me-me postin' again s ... sorry again for the lack of responding to thy queenly selves ... but I think about thee all a lot ... dunno, just not up to much in the way of stringin' words together lately ... which is not good since that's what I do for a livin' darlins! ... the faerie diet is nae a go fur the day.
Re previous comments (mine, actually) on noticing when that bad ol' cortisol causeth a desire to overeat, I just noticed that again tonight. Probably I should just journalize this and leave thee poor queens alone but ... anyhow, there's something to this cortisol/food connection ... and it doesn't even have to be anything big for the neurons to fire and the process to begin (e.g., the slide into junk food heck) ... ALL day I've been doing ok with food but noticed a lot of frustrations lurking around in my weak little psyche ... tonight all I wanted to do was play a game online ... latterly I've sort of gotten addicted to a certain game on a certain site (yet another bad habit I've acquired) ... it's a paid site but has problems ... sometimes you can't get into a game and when that happened tonight instead of doing something sane like painting, I swear I literally felt this cortisol surge and ... the rest is history.
Not sure why I'm sharing something so trivial ... it's the freakin' cortisol ...
I need to get a life ...
I do promise to stop doing me-me posties and respond to people soon ...
Recvd another great email this am.... it does have some religious reference so please be forewarned but the overall theme is so terrific I wanted to share....
****************************************
Subject: A CHRISTMAS TO REMEMBER
Pa never had much compassion for the lazy or those who squandered their means and then never had enough for the necessities. But for those who were genuinely in need, his heart was as big as all outdoors. It was from him that I learned the greatest joy in life comes from giving, not from receiving.
It was Christmas Eve 1881. I was fifteen years old and feeling like the world had caved in on me because there just hadn't been enough money to buy me the rifle that I'd wanted for Christmas. We did the chores early that night for some reason. I just figured Pa wanted a little extra time so we could read in the Bible.
After supper was over I took my boots off and stretched out in front of the fireplace and waited for Pa to get down the old Bible. I was still feeling sorry for myself and, to be honest, I wasn't in much of a mood to read Scriptures. But Pa didn't get the Bible; instead he bundled up again and went outside. I couldn't figure it out because we had already done all the chores. I didn't worry about it long though; I was too busy wallowing in self-pity.
Soon Pa came back in. It was a cold clear night out and there was ice in his beard. "Come on, Matt," he said. "Bundle up good, it's cold out tonight." I was really upset then. Not only wasn't I getting the rifle for Christmas, now Pa was dragging me out in the cold, and for no earthly reason that I could see. We'd already done all the chores, and I couldn't think of anything else that needed doing, especially not on a night like this
But I knew Pa was not very patient at one dragging one's feet when he'd told them to do something, so I got up and put my boots back on and got my cap, coat, and mittens. Ma gave me a mysterious smile as I opened the door to leave the house. Something was up, but I didn't know what.
Outside, I became even more dismayed. There in front of the house was the work team, already hitched to the big sled. Whatever it was we were going to do wasn't going to be a short, quick, little job. I could tell. We never hitched up this sled unless we were going to haul a big load.
Pa was already up on the seat, reins in hand. I reluctantly climbed up beside him. The cold was already biting at me. I wasn't happy. When I was on, Pa pulled the sled around the house and stopped in front of the woodshed. He got off and I followed. "I think we'll put on the high sideboards," he said. "Here, help me." The high sideboards! It had been a bigger job than I wanted to do with just the low sideboards on, but whatever it was we were going to do would be a lot bigger with the high sideboards on.
After we had exchanged the sideboards, Pa went into the woodshed and came out with an armload of wood---the wood I'd spent all summer hauling down from the mountain, and then all Fall sawing into blocks and splitting. What was he doing? Finally I said something. "Pa," I asked, "what are you doing?" You been by the Widow Jensen's lately?" he asked. The Widow Jensen lived about two miles down the road. Her husband had died a year or so before and left her with three children, the oldest being eight. Sure, I'd been by, but so what? "Yeah," I said, "Why?" "I rode by just today," Pa said. "Little Jakey was out digging around in the woodpile trying to find a few chips. They're out of wood, Matt."
That was all he said and then he turned and went back into the woodshed for another armload of wood. I followed him. We loaded the sled so high that I began to wonder if the horses would be able to pull it. Finally, Pa called a halt to our loading, then we went to the smoke house and Pa took down a big ham and a side of bacon. He handed them to me and told me to put them in the sled and wait.
When he returned he was carrying a sack of flour over his right shoulder and a smaller sack of something in his left hand. "What's in the little sack?" I asked. "Shoes. They're out of shoes. Little Jakey just had gunnysacks wrapped around his feet when he was out in the woodpile this morning. I got the children a little candy too. It just wouldn't be Christmas without a little candy."
We rode the two miles to Widow Jensen's pretty much in silence. I tried to think through what Pa was doing. We didn't have much by worldly standards. Of course, we did have a big woodpile, though most of what was left now was still in the form of logs that I would have to saw into blocks and split before we could use it. We also had meat and flour, so we could spare that, but I knew we didn't have any money, so why was Pa buying them shoes and candy?
Really, why was he doing any of this? Widow Jensen had closer neighbors than us; it shouldn't have been our concern. We came in from the blind side of the Jensen house and unloaded the wood as quietly as possible, and then we took the meat and flour and shoes to the door. We knocked. The door opened a crack and a timid voice said, "Who is it?" "Lucas Miles, Ma'am, and my son, Matt. Could we come in for a bit?"
Widow Jensen opened the door and let us in. She had a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. The children were wrapped in another and were sitting in front of the fireplace by a very small fire that hardly gave off any heat at all. Widow Jensen fumbled with a match and finally lit the lamp. "We brought you a few things, Ma'am," Pa said and set down the sack of flour. I put the meat on the table. Then Pa handed her the sack that had the shoes in it.
She opened it hesitantly and took the shoes out one pair at a time. There was a pair for her and one for each of the children---sturdy shoes, the best, shoes that would last. I watched her carefully. She bit her lower lip to keep it from trembling and then tears filled her eyes and started running down her cheeks. She looked up at Pa like she wanted to say something, but it wouldn't come out.
"We brought a load of wood too, Ma'am," Pa said. He turned to me and said, "Matt, go bring in enough to last awhile. Let's get that fire up to size and heat this place up." I wasn't the same person when I went back out to bring in the wood. I had a big lump in my throat and as much as I hate to admit it, there were tears in my eyes too.
In my mind I kept seeing those three kids huddled around the fireplace and their mother standing there with tears running down her cheeks with so much gratitude in her heart that she couldn't speak. My heart swelled within me and a joy that I'd never known before, filled my soul. I had given at Christmas many times before, but never when it had made so much difference. I could see we were literally saving the lives of these people.
I soon had the fire blazing and everyone's spirits soared. The kids started giggling when Pa handed them each a piece of candy and Widow Jensen looked on with a smile that probably hadn't crossed her face for a long time. She finally turned to us. "God bless you," she said. "I know the Lord has sent you. The children and I have been praying that he would send one of his angels to spare us."
In spite of myself, the lump returned to my throat and the tears welled up in my eyes again. I'd never thought of Pa in those exact terms before, but after Widow Jensen mentioned it I could see that it was probably true. I was sure that a better man than Pa had never walked the earth. I started remembering all the times he had gone out of his way for Ma and me, and many others. The list seemed endless as I thought on it.
Pa insisted that everyone try on the shoes before we left. I was amazed when they all fit and I wondered how he had known what sizes to get. Then I guessed that if he was on an errand for the Lord that the Lord would make sure he got the right sizes.
Tears were running down Widow Jensen's face again when we stood up to leave. Pa took each of the kids in his big arms and gave them a hug. They clung to him and didn't want us to go. I could see that they missed their Pa, and I was glad that I still had mine.
At the door Pa turned to Widow Jensen and said, "The Mrs. wanted me to invite you and the children over for Christmas dinner tomorrow. The turkey will be more than the three of us can eat, and a man can get cantankerous if he has to eat turkey for too many meals. We'll be by to get you about eleven. It'll be nice to have some little ones around again. Matt, here, hasn't been little for quite a spell." I was the youngest. My two brothers and two sisters had all married and had moved away. Widow Jensen nodded and said, "Thank you, Brother Miles. I don't have to say, "'May the Lord bless you,' I know for certain that He will."
Out on the sled I felt a warmth that came from deep within and I didn't even notice the cold. When we had gone a ways, Pa turned to me and said, "Matt, I want you to know something. Your ma and me have been tucking a little money away here and there all year so we could buy that rifle for you, but we didn't have quite enough.
Then yesterday a man who owed me a little money from years back came by to make things square. Your ma and me were real excited, thinking that now we could get you that rifle, and I started into town this morning to do just that. But on the way I saw little Jakey out scratching in the woodpile with his feet wrapped in those gunnysacks and I knew what I had to do. Son, I spent the money for shoes and a little candy for those children. I hope you understand."
I understood, and my eyes became wet with tears again. I understood very well, and I was so glad Pa had done it. Now the rifle seemed very low on my list of priorities. Pa had given me a lot more. He had given me the look on Widow Jensen's face and the radiant smiles of her three children.
For the rest of my life, whenever I saw any of the Jensens, or split a block of wood, I remembered, and remembering brought back that same joy I felt riding home beside Pa that night. Pa had given me much more than a rifle that night; he had given me the best Christmas of my life.
***********************
Such a good reminder that if we are really lucky, the best gift is not what we want but what we really need.....
Empress-- Yes, I can relate....Except, I forgot about cortisol-- Just knew I was so crabby I didnt even want to be w/ myself....DH enjoys the free gambling games... is that your latest passion???
Hi everyone!!!!
Want to tell you about an incredible black bean soup DH made last night but since I still you all a photo of myself, my last speech and who knows what else, I hesitate to promise the recipe....
Cerise-- I just might suprise you when I have "free minutes" !!
Let me see, if its 2pm here on the East coast, is it 11am where you are???
Must be off!
********************
Thought of the day :
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
--Dr. Seuss
Question of the day :
Oh, Kaylets, now I'm starting my day off w/tears! Still, tears for whatever reason are a good release and may lower my cortisol levels. Great little story.
Ah, yes, Empress, the comfort of games. I've never played computer games but recently taught Princess Eight to play solitaire on the computer. Well, I must admit I got more than a wee hooked. Cannot believe the distraction (in both good and bad ways) it has given me. But I'd really be ALL ready for Christmas without it (or so I like to think).
Had a good day yesterday, food, water, exercise all in shape - and other good things as well. Can't seem to pull self together to make even simple plans for next few days though.
Today is an anniversary of sorts - it's two years since DHs kidney aneurysm ruptured. Maybe I should say two years of elevated cortisol.
We went out for one Christmas gift yesterday and came back w/three. If it would only work that way every time.
Wildfire, what a little charmer the nephew is. Just want to cuddle when I look at him. And what fun he'll add to Christmas. I could spend hours with the baby stuff, just looking. No, unfortunately, after being closed for five months the pool was only restored to what it had been, barring a very few small changes in the small locker room. However, it had been a pretty nice place before. Other than the locker room being way too small, it's good. It's close, convenient, reasonable, warm. And since they closed another of their facilities they've added another afternoon class giving me a bit more choice. There are two others I've been meaning to check out and will, one of these days but right now, this one's pretty comfortable and I appreciate that it's so available to me. Others travel up to an hour to get to it.
Well, DH is shaking up my Slimfast so I'm off into the day.........
I have a copy of the cortisol connection out and am just in the early bit...I can see the correlations I think....modern living is killing me....I also have a hold on the dvd supersize me...it will be early spring before it gets to me...I hope it stands up to the use!
I am off to lower Illinois this weekend...with the evil sisters...one of whom rearranged my ear for me on Tuesday...playing, got her tooth snagged on my earring and pulled it out, along with catching my upper ear lobe with her tooth. What a mess. I'm on drugs. The earring is at the jewellers. So I'm working on the older hairball in a few minutes...then off to parental brekkie..and errands.
It is great to see all of you and I hope to respond in greater depth when I get back!
QOD..I see both of them usually, but I think I prefer sunrise. However I enjoy both of them....lotsa rain here Wildfire...no snow, although I think we got to 0 last night...there are ice crystals in the grass this morn. Music...none...usually. I have had a local radio station on occasionally which plays straight Christmas stuff now...but I just do the BOT thing...
Well gotta fly and groom...Ta-Rah!
Have a great week-end. Keep me in your thoughts...I'm with the munch monkey again.
s! 
Is your pool all new and improved now that it is open again?
)
