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Reds2004 08-19-2004 04:03 PM

ISO support to lose 50lbs...any takers?
I am 26 years old, a divorced mother of 2 boys (5 and 7 years old), 5'5" and 40-50 lbs overweight. I currently weigh 195lbs and I have no idea how it happened. Well, I have an idea (the divorce along with everything leading up to it, plus the fact that I quit smoking), but it happened so fast I couldn't stop it. I haven't been this heavy since I was pregnant. Even though it's been about 3 years since I could look down at my scale and see 150, it feels like forever ago. Somewhere between then and now I lost pieces of myself and tried to fill the void with food. I've really never allowed myself to think about it, about how much I've given up on myself, until now. With each stroke of the keys, I'm fighting the tears. How could I let this happen? How could I just sit here through the years and watch myself become someone I don't even know? I don't have many friends to lean on. I used to, but over time the ones I thought would always be there just weren't anymore. There are only 3 left, 2 are men who have no issues with weight and the other is a female who I've known for 17 years and she's always been thin. No understanding there. My entire family is overweight, my brother and sister, I would consider obese. We don't really discuss weight but I've never heard either of them say anything about trying to loose some. I guess, in a nutshell, I feel alone. I don't really have anyone around that can understand how I feel, or help me reach my goal. So I'm here. Seeking out strangers that have more in common with me than people who have known me my entire life. It makes me sad when I think about how alone I can feel in a room full of people. Remembering a time when people would look at me, not through me. I know I have a lot of work to do. I know that my weight is a direct effect of how I feel about myself and I want, more than anything, to convert the negative into positive. I've never been the kind to need help. Even submitting this thread will be a huge step for me. But I'm going to do it. I'm going to allow myself to be vulnerable. I'm going to admit that I need help, I need support from people who understand me or I'm never going to heal. So, if anyone out there needs a buddy, let me know. Thanks!

lilpyrate 08-19-2004 04:46 PM

Hi there!! I'm brand new to this site and this is my first post. I am a 30 year old female, divorced, now newly engaged again also looking for a friend to mutually support one another in my life long weight loss effort. I have been overweight/obese since childhood. About 4 years ago I lost 120 lbs, my highest weight being 300 lbs +. I lost most of my weight after my divorce and I never did reach my ultimate goal. I have found that since being in a relationship again I've gained back almost 20 lbs. I'm absolutely terrified that I will gain even more and my efforts this time to take off the weight don't seem to be working. I'm at the point where I'm ready to glue my lips shut to keep myself from eating. I stepped on the scale this morning and weighed in at 199.5 lbs, and I swore to myself 4 years ago that I would never break 200 lbs again.

I stumbled on this site while researching various weight loss "gimmicks" and found extremely valuable information on the crap pills/patches/what have you that they are selling out there on the internet. I've found myself wanting so much to believe that these products work, only to find myself fatter and broke to boot. It's so frustrating to be slammed with images of slender, beautiful women and then to look at myself in the mirror each day and be disgusted with my body.

I guess my goal is to be happy with myself. Frankly I don't care what anyone else thinks about my body, but I do know that I was treated differently at 300 lbs. I've set my ultimate goal at 160-165, but my immediate goal before the end of the year would be to break into the 180's. I really think that we could help each other, and I'm ready to stop this weight gain before goes any further.

chubbylady 08-19-2004 07:44 PM

Welcome ladies - you will find many others here giving you the support you need. You have made the most important step - reaching out for help. I am 42 yrs old, have a daughter that is 25, so maybe I can be more of a motherly figure. :p I am trying to lose about 35-40 lbs - I'm 5'2" and today I am 172 - I am small framed so the extra weight is tough. :yikes: Keep up the positive attitudes and you will achieve anything you put your minds to.

I just added a 2 more days of working out for a total of 5. I go to physical therapy 2 days a week for injuries from an auto accident this past May. I seem to be losing inches, just not weight, which hey is fine with me. I rather wear smaller clothes than worry about the number on the scale. My workouts are mainly stretching, dancing and work on the stability ball. I bought a few dance DVD's - Crunch Salsa Cardio and Hula Dancing for weight loss. :dancer: Of course I would never do these in public :yikes: These workouts are fun - which I think is the most important thing to keep it up.

If I can help, please let me know. I'm a great cheerleader :cheer: Have a great evening. Penny :wave:

Reds2004 08-19-2004 11:56 PM

Thanks lilpyrate and Penny. Just knowing that there are others out there that feel the way I do really helps. I hope I can be part of your support system as well. I can definatly relate to your "gimmick" frustration. I took Metabolife two years ago and Stacker 2's about a year ago and stopped both after about 2-3 months. It got to the point where I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest it was beating so quickly. I promised myself I would never take a pill to lose weight again. So now I have to rely on willpower, and that's tough (as I'm sure you two know). Basically my fitness routine is walking. I have a gym membership but don't go on a regular basis. I'll go for a month straight and only loose 5-7 lbs so I get discouraged and I stop going. I know I shouldn't expect things to move any faster but sometimes, while I'm sweating my tail off on one of those machines, a girl with the body I want walks by and the "you can't do it" part of my brain takes over. Plus, the gym can get monotonous. I've started walking about 5 times a week. I like it. It's peacefull. Some days I take the short trail (about 2 miles) and some days I take the long trail (about 5). My boys go with me and ride their bikes. It's nice but doesn't burn a whole bunch of calories. Do you have a fitness regime lilpyrate? Penny, it sounds like you do. I've heard about that hula hoop stuff...does it work? I think I'm going to work towards 180 by the end of the year too, if you don't mind lilpyrate. Penny, if your on board you should be down to 150 by then! What do you gals think as far as diets? I love food, I can't deny it. I could never deprive myself of food, but I can replace bad food with good. I've heard it's better to eat 5-6 times a day (small and healthy meals of course) when trying to lose weight. Have you heard that? Something about boosting your metabolism. I welcome your thoughts. Goodnight ladies and thanks again!

Kamitwi 08-20-2004 01:06 AM

Hello ladies, I'm not new here, but I've been gone for awhile, because I've been annoyed and frustrated that I haven't been losing any weight. I can entirely empathize with Chubbylady about losing inches and not pounds. Not that losing inches is BAD, I'd just rather lose BOTH! I really need to start measuring myself!! If you don't mind, I'll join you guys in your goal for the end of the year. 180 is a longshot for me, I'm 219 right now, but I'd LOVE to break into the 180's. Even 189 would be nice ^_^* I had a question for

lilpyrate--did you have trouble with excess skin after your 120 pound weight loss? My arms sag like empty banana peels and I have two big folds of skin like an empty hamburger bun on my stomach. It's rotten! I wish it would go away, and I hate it. Any suggestions?

Reds, I can entirely empathize with how you feel. I've pretty much been overweight my whole life, but the majority of my weight was gained over a period of 2 or 3 years. I went from 'a bit more than chubby' to downright FAT, like, bury me in a piano box fat. Not that it would be bad, I suppose, after all the piano is a fine instrument, but I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.I find that the best exercize for me is just riding a stationary bike. I love to walk in the mornings too, it's gorgeous, but bike riding burns LOTS of calories. I'm trying to get myself motivated to start a weight lifting program at the moment, which is hard because I work and I go to school, and between the two, I barely have time to sleep -_- anyway, I hope all are doing well, good luck and good night!

tiredoffat 08-20-2004 06:44 AM

Hi Reds and all, I recently read a book called "The Joy of Burnout." It basically was a book about transition from one place to another. The book encouraged me to find a support group either online or in person. That's what brought me to this site. It is so encouraging to read all these stories and see how much weight people have lost in so many ways. Only those who have been overweight can understand what it's like in this society - so difficult!

Anyways, for me a busy, working mom of three sons, I'm finding that counting calories and about 30 minutes of exercise (any kind) is a good way to start. In the past two weeks (about) I've lost seven pounds. I've also used a lot of food, exercise and attitude tips from all the threads on this site which have been remarkable. Good luck to you, you've made the first step!!! I'm 45 (with kids 4,9,13) and you at 26 are so young with so many wonderful events, times ahead. You can do it! Everyone here can help! I wish I found this site 22 years ago when I started feeling very bad about being fat.


chubbylady 08-20-2004 07:16 AM

Good Morning Ladies! :flow2: I can understand the frustration with exercising and the scale not move. Remember though that muscle weighs more than fat. I have to keep reminding myself of that fact.

I went to a nutritionist last week, I was told that I wasn't eating enough calories - even though I was eating all the time. My average calorie intake is around 800 per day. Here is a sample of what a normal menu would be:

Fruit - strawberries, raspberries, kiwi and blueberries
Protein Drink - made with 1% milk
Grilled chicken salad - no dressing
Grilled veggies
Grilled fish, shrimp, chicken, turkey and on occasion a very lean steak (of course not all in the same day)
gallon of water

I have increased the amount of calories over the past week, as told by the nutritionist for around 1200 - I have gained about 2 lbs. I know that it will take my body some time to adjust to the increased calories - I am just hoping not to much time.

The dance DVD's are very nice and I can feel it the next day. It's a lot of fun to boot. I try and walk 3 miles a day - as my body will allow and do a DVD a day. I have dance, pilates, stability ball and yoga videos/DVD's, so I can change things up on a daily basis. I have gone from a size 16 to a 14 without losing any weight - even though I would love to see the scale move under 170. My daughter is getting married next Friday, I was am hoping to see the scale at 169. My daughter has 5 children - figured it was about time the 2 of them got married! :idea: I also have 2 teenage boys at home 15 & 17 who keep me on my toes!

Well, I'm off to work, you ladies have a great day! :dancer:


Reds2004 08-20-2004 09:51 AM

Welcome aboard Kami & Tiredoffat. It looks like we have quite a team forming now! I'm so excited! With all of this support, how can we fail? We'll be in the 180's by 12/31 for sure! And Penny, you'll be cruisin' in the 150's! Congratulations on your daughters wedding Penny! I hate to cut this short but my daily walk is calling me. I think I'll take the long trail today! Stay focused today ladies, it'll be 12/31 before you know it!

lilpyrate 08-20-2004 10:45 AM

Good Morning everyone!
I apologize, this is the first chance I've had to get online today...yikes! At least it's Friday!! Thanks everyone for your ideas and suggestions and support!!!

Kamitwi, yes I know exactly what you are saying, I have what I call "batwing" arms, but oh well, it makes me think I'm a cool superhero, lol. I can't afford plastic surgery on them and even if I could, I don't think I'd do it. I love the empty hamburger bun description, yep that's me...and stretch marks everywhere to boot. I really haven't found anything that can make it better, I do use just a skin firming lotion every so often but haven't really seen a difference.

Reds, right now my exercise consists of walking my puppy three times a day. I have noticed a difference in my legs, which is where I carry most of my weight, from my behind down to my ankles. I don't exercise nearly as much as I used to when I lost all the weight before, which I know is a definite reason for the weight gain. I love to dance and can you gals recommend a fun dance DVD? I've been recently looking at "Walk Away the Pounds". Has anyone tried this? I just wondered if I might get bored with that quickly.

I think it's a great idea that we can shoot for 180's by the end of the year. Kami I agree 189 would be awesome!!! As far as eating goes, I have the most trouble at night after I get home. I do really well during the day and then cave at night. I have to get myself to start eating breakfast too, I always skip it, just because I don't feel all that hungry in the am. This week is Iowa State Fair and you wouldn't believe all of the food!!! I've been there three times already but I was only really naughty one day. The last couple of days I've been pretty good, but the weekend is coming up and it's always hard as we tend to eat out on the weekend.

Well, I better do a little work...thanks again everyone and have a wonderful day!! :coffee:

Reds2004 08-20-2004 09:25 PM

Friday night and I'm home alone. This used to depress me, now it's just a way of life. I will not fill the void of long lost crazy weekends with food (sometimes you just gotta say things out loud, or type them out loud, whatever the case may be). That's it for me ladies. I'm going to go for a drive and clear my head. I'll think about how great I'm going to feel on 12/31 when I'm in the 180's! I hope you all are doing well. Stay focused and have fun!

praytherosary822 08-20-2004 09:35 PM

Good Evening Ladies. Welcome to our new friends. Reds you might want to try reading a book called the Thin Books, it is two books in one. The first part deals with self esteem and the second part is a daily positive meditation. Good Luck and God BLess. Oh, and remember you are never alone. We are all here for you.

vabeachbum 08-20-2004 10:46 PM

Good evening ladies. I'm new to the site and was looking for a few buddies. I'm 33 and am looking lose about 40 pounds. I'm currently at 170, down from 185/190. I'm trying to stay motivated and to get into an exercise routine but that is proving to be hard. Eating healthier has been the easier part. Now I'm trying to vary my food choices and plan ahead more. That's what brought me here.

Congrats on all of your successes, keep it up!

chubbylady 08-21-2004 08:35 AM

Good Morning Ladies! It's a chilly day here in WNY, pretty sad summer - need to start a :flame: as it's only in the 50's.

What's on the schedule for today for everyone? I will be cleaning out the closets, cooking for a party next weekend, also thinking about going to the fair, if I have enough energy.

Menu for the day:

egg beaters, canadian bacon, cheese, mushroom omlete
grilled chicken breast salad
grilled shrimp, veggies and maybe pasta or rice
gallon of water

Hope everyone has a great day and gets in at least 15 mins of exercising today.


Reds2004 08-21-2004 10:00 AM

Good morning everyone! I hope everyone is feeling super motivated today!

Praytherosary822, thanks for the suggestion, I'll check that out. Believe me, I understand that I have "self" issues that I need to work on. Everyone has a story, some worse than others, but all the same in the sense that everyone has to recover from something at some point in their lives. I realize that I'm still recovering; trying each day to feel a little better about myself than I did the day before. I will read the Thin Books. I appreciate your support.

Welcome VAbeachbum. I hope you find all the support you need on this site. I've only been here for about three days, but already the support and understanding has surpassed my expectations. I'm sure you've read our goal and we would love for you to join us!

I've decided not to weigh myself again until the end of this month. I'm going to give my body some time to do it's thing. I'm just going to relax, keep eating right everyday, and walking everyday. It has to have a better result than checking the scale every other day! We'll see. Hopefully I'll be down a few pounds by then.

Stay focused today ladies! 132 days and 15 lbs to go. That's .1136 lbs a day. I can do that! :)

praytherosary822 08-21-2004 10:18 PM

Hello Ladies. Hubby and I had our weekly weigh in yesterday, he gained 1/2 pound and I lost 1.25 pounds. Tomorrow we are going to Market in Biloxi, and we will be eating at Red Lobster, but we will only eat 1/2 of our meal and save the other half for supper tomorrow night. Hope you all have a blessed evening. GOd Bless.

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