Hi all,

Well, now it's Sunday morning and I odn't have the house to myself. Hubby and son both got up with me, although son left for work. It's strange, I've gotten accustomed to having the first hour to myself. Besides, I need to sit in front of my light box for a half hour and with hubby around, that makes it more difficult. For now, he's in the the shower so I've got a few minutes to write.

I spent the yesterday with hubby, some of it at the junk yard. I have an old classic
Jeep and we got an emergency brake for it as well as a spare tire/wheel. Pretty soon my buggy will be a luxury vehicle. I left my son drive it yesterday and he said it was scary. Now power brakes and steering, etc. Today's youth is sure spoiled.

I did make the back to the cobalt blue sweater. I love my knitting machine. I can knit an entire sweater in one day if I spend a couple hours on it. I think that's amazing. In MN I'd found this beautiful woolease yarn and it's turing out really pretty.

Today is another football day so I will solder together my inlaws Christmas present. My MIL had given my irises when we lived in MN and I found this gorgeous iris pattern for stained glass. We haven't made them a big panel for years, so this year we made this iris one. The flowers are purple and I think it's going to be gorgeous.

We did the Thanksgiving day grocery shopping and I have all the stuff for a feast. This year I'm making only pumpkin pie since I don't like it - other years I'd make a French Silk chocolate pie to go with it. I also bought lots of veges for the feast so I think I should be okay diet wise.

TOF - good thinking on the shopping. It's amazing how motivating that is. When I was in MN, I got to go to Kohl's (my very favorite store) and I bought lots of clearance items. So every day, I have new clothes to wear. I've been choosing fitted clothes and it's amazing how much better I look. I like the new me even though I'm not near goal weight.

I stepped on the scale again this morning and it's still stuck. I think my body wants this weight even though I don't. I really have to track my food for a couple days and see how I'm really doing. I use a program called Lifeform and it has all my recipes in it so I can track calories on every bite I eat. I like that it's on my computer, not on the web.

Well that's it for now. Hubby is back. Talk with you all later.

Hi Marie,

What a beautiful gift you are giving to your inlaws. They'll love it. The cobalt sweater sounds beautiful too. I enjoy hearing about your artistic endeavors. Sorry about the scale not moving. Perhaps you could find some advice on it from other sites or ask the question about it on the support thread and see what people have to say. I'm having a busy family day - lots of errands, etc. It's nice to take a break from studying. So far it has been a good eating day. Take care.

Good morning, ladies
 

Hope everyone had a good weekend.

TOF-Congrats on the test! :dancer: I'm sure you're getting more and more relieved the closer you get to being done w/your class. Keep up the good work. I'm glad you enjoyed the words I posted by Audrey Hepburn. They do help you stay in focus on the right stuff.

Marie-sounds like you were busy this weekend! I agree w/TOF about the cobalt sweater-that's one of my favorite colors. Also, your in-laws, I'm sure, will love their gift! As for your weight, don't give up. Hang in there and continue to do your best. I read a good article a while back on weight loss plateaus. I'll try to find it and pm the link to you. I'm cheering for you! :cheer:

Tutt-where are you? Be sure to ck in w/us from time to time.

Reds-we miss you! Come back when you can, please!

Okay, ladies-confession time. I fell off the health wagon w/a big, fat, resounding THUD this weekend. :( As you know, my DH lost his job. So, I knew things would be tight. That's fine-we've been tight before and made it through. However, Friday night, DH made confession to me about some things he'd done w/finances. He has three checks out at check advance places, we're behind on our house payment, car payment and our cell phones will be cut off soon. All this expense is in addition to our normal, making ends meet expenses. We need a total of $1500.00 just to get caught up on these things he's done. Ladies-I was ticked! :mad: Then, to make matters worse, he wanted to cancel going to my sister's for Thanksgiving and to use my DD's child support money to help catch us up! I was ticked again! :mad: I told him no-he wasn't getting the girls money and we were going to my sister's for Thanksgiving if he had to hock something to get me the gas money. I can not explain to you how mad I was. I could harldy breath. Fortunately, he was gone overnight Saturday to a church thing so it gave me time to cool down a little before I saw him again. I called a dear friend of mine, Momma Ruth, and talked w/her. She gave me money to take Bill out for coffee and dessert so we could talk about things on Sat. I made a whole list, two pages worth, of things to talk about w/him. He accepted everything well. I told him that it was his job to figure out how to get us out of this mess. I will do my part as far as being careful w/money, using coupons, not asking for things, etc but the main portion of dealing w/this mess has to be him. If I rescue him, it will just happen again, as it has happened before. I told him that I will be quitting my job in August 2005 and he better get off his butt and do whatever he has to do to make this happen. He's promised it for two years and I'm not staying past that date. I'll be looking for something part time but this job is history come 08/2005. I guess a lot of things that I said sounded mean but I know my DH well enough to know how to handle situations like this. He's also calling his psychiatrist today as his depression is getting worse. I told him he needs to call someone for confession/accountability for his financial mistakes and he said, I talked to Momma Ruth and Poppa Jack. I said-that doesn't count-they already knew b/c I told them. You need to find someone to help hold you accountable in this area as it doesn't all need to fall on my shoulders. He wasn't too happy about that but I really don't care. I also told him that he needs someone for accountability for his depression. He didn't like that either but again-really don't care. Anyway, it was a rough weekend. I had an all night love affair w/the keebler elves on Friday and had pizza and brownies on Saturday. My goal for this week is to just get back on track w/healthy eating choices and back to exercising. Thanks for letting me vent. Please say a prayer for us. It's still very difficult at our house and will be for a while. I won't hold this against him; he confessed, apologized and it working to make it right. So, as far as I'm concerned, it's in the past. However, I'm still dealing w/the anger and the feelings of betrayal. When we married he told me not to worry about finances, to just go to work and let him worry w/it. This was fine w/me as I'm a free-spirit when it comes to money (ck out dave ramsey to know what I'm talking about!). Then he does something like this that puts the whole family in a tight spot. Maybe I should have been more assertive as to checking on things, believe me I will be now! One thing I'm requiring is a monthly budget meeting every first monday or thursday. That way, I'm in the loop. I told him I would be double checking on everything he tells me for a while as he hurt my trust and trust takes a while to rebuild. He seems to be okay w/it. Anyway, sorry so long and so whiney but thanks for listening.

The encouragement I get here means more than you know. Again, you ladies are angels to me! :angel: :angel:

Have a great day!

Hey Skinny,

I know how you feel about the money problems. The difference is that I'm like your husband with money. So I hope you don't mind if I give that side's perspective. I'm in charge of the money in our family because my DH isn't involved. He would be if I gave him a chance, but I'm now up front with our money problems. One of the big symptoms of my bipolar problem is that I can be very, read VERY careless with finances. Spending sprees, not balancing the checkbook because it looks too bad, etc. Getting the bipolar under control was the first step for me to be more careful with out money. Now I balance the checkbook and pay the bills on time. But I've screwed up our credit ratings. It is all my fault (bet you heard this from your husband). But let me tell you what it does. I worried all the time about money. Day and night. I didn't want to answer the phone and I felt like I couldn't share it with anyone. I finally did with my psychiatrist. Then voila, one night I wanted to see how much money we had coming in and how much went out. So I did what normal people did. Add up all the monthly expenses and how much we brought in. What I found was that we should have a good chunk of money left after all the bills. On paper we were doing great. In reality, we were behind and I was always playing catch up. So that night, I wrote out everything we needed to do to catch up so we'd have that good chunk of money to spend every night. Then I showed it to my DH. He knew there were problems and liked my budget to get out the tight spot. For the first 6 weeks, we had enough money for gas and milk/bread - but nothing else. That was a horrible time. Now we're out of the hole and our creditors love us again. What is scary is how easy it is to get back into the bad way with money. I now worry about that. I make DH be more involved - I showed him the budget and he knows where it is, he knows the password for Quicken, and he can check up on me any time. I highly recommend you do exactly what you said you were going to do because of the hurt and trust - but don't stop after a month. Skinny, it's really easy to slide into the bad money way ESPECIALLY around the holidays. So be very careful. If DH didn't check up on me now, I think I would have slipped again. I have to be accountable to DH and your H needs to be accountable to you.

Now, from my experience, try to forgive him. Before you knew about the problems, he already felt guilty and lived in constant stress about money. If you're worried, I bet he's ten times more worried and feeling bad because he let you down. I know I felt like a failure and I had a damn mental health problem to blame it on. I never did, I still don't. I know better. Your husband knew better, but he didn't succeed at budgeting. I'm betting he feels like a failure, then you add on top that he has no money coming in, he lost his job, he can't find a way out - he's in bad shape.

I want you to know I really feel for you and understand your anger and betrayal. I really, really can because I know what all this did to my husband. But I also know that if I didn't have his support to fix it, I'd have drowned. I hope that you can see the pain your H is in and can be his support because he really needs you. You've done the right thing by making him contact his psychiatrist. If his depression is out of control, there can big trouble. Keep pushing him to the psychiatrist even if you have to make the appointment and drag him there. Good luck and my thoughts and prayers are with you. It's a rough ride, but you'll make it out of it.
Marie

Marie, Thanks for your words of encouragement. My DH is bipolar as well. He was diagnosed w/it back in March, 2004 after the death of his mother. He has fought this diagnosis since then. He'll accept being depressive (he takes Wellbutrin) but he just couldn't except the diagnosis of bipolar. I know it's b/c he thinks it will keep us from being on the mission field someday. My believe is that if that's where God wants us that's where we'll be. Anyway, back to the present. I believe that DH is just now beginning to see that the diagnosis is correct and he's very scared right now. I recognize that and acknowledge that. I know he think he's a failure right now. I have forgiven him but the anger/hurt is still there. I will support him through this difficult time but I know DH also needs that accountability, just like you said. I think we have figured out how to get two of the check advance situations taken care of so that will help some. He's also delivering phone books this week for some cash. I had a friend suggest that I take over the finances. I'm not going to do this b/c I know it would kill his soul. I think monthly-no wait-weekly meetings on finances will be fine, weekly until we get this sitch under control and monthly thereafter.

I left a silly card on his windshield last night. It had a picture of aliens on the front w/one of them holding up a skunk. Underneath it read: Former First Officer Tag never made the mistake of giving a skunk to his higher ups again. On the inside I wrote, Things may be stinky right now but you'll always be my first officer. It was cute and he really appreciated it. I find he's being very clingy-like he's afraid I might leave. I was really, really tired last night and wanted to go to bed but he asked me to stay up and watch the rest of the Patriot w/him. He was huggy and snuggly-which he is anyway-but especially so last night. So, that's fine. If he needs a little extra assurance that's what I'll give him b/c I'm not going anywhere. Our vows said....for better or worse, for richer or poorer. We're just going through the poorer part right now! Can hardly wait for the richer part to kick in! :D

Again, thanks for your encouragement and for helping me see it from DH's side. I'll keep you posted.

Oh, BTW-good news this weekend. Our son, Justin, has started a rehab program! He has been clean for almost a month and I talked to him about a program I found. He thought about it and said he would sign up for it. It's 30-60 days, weekly one-on-one counseling and weekly group meetings. This program was written by a local minister after having dealt w/his son's 1 1/2 year long struggle w/meth. The program has a 76% recovery rate.

Hi Skinny and Marie. Skinny, I'm so glad you felt comfortable sharing your issue with us. I, too, have been in financial distress and know how horrible it can be. Cutting out some of the frills like the cell phone if possible, cable, dry cleaners, dinners out can help although painful. My husband do meet regularly about money. Although we don't budget every cent we talk about most of our spending. For example we just had our holiday talk and decided what to spend for each gift, etc. That really helps us. We also make financial goals and try to figure out how to get there - we're not super good in this area but we're trying. You are such a good woman - so good to your dh. Your weekly meetings might help your dh to learn how to plan his spending, it's not natural for many people. I actually learned a lot about this from my dh.

Don't worry about getting off the healthy eating journey. I know you'll be back soon enough - you've lost too much weight to stop now! You've got to think about yourself and where you're heading. I hate the way life throws these curve balls at us especially when we are doing well in other challenging areas like our health journeys, but we learn from the curve balls. Please feel free to vent, problem solve, share, complain or ask questions here. This is a safe sight where we can listen. When we were really short on dough we tried to focus on family fun that was healthy and cheap like library passes to museums, walks in the woods, board games, movie rentals, etc. As I've said before when my husband was out of work the one big gain was that our family life wasn't as rushed - I hope you can have this too.

Take care. Keep writing. I'm here for you.

Good morning, ladies
 

Thank you both for all your encouragement and support. It means a great deal to me.

Had a pretty good eating day yesterday. I did have a small piece of birthday cake but other than that, healthy. I didn't make it to the Y. DH is delivering phone books this week for some money so DD's and I helped him bag up a lot, a LOT of phone books! Then, I settled in and watched Moonstruck w/DD's as they are leaving this evening to spend time w/their father and his family during Thanksgiving. I will do my best to get there tonight!

TOF-We have a budget; we just haven't been following it as closely as we should. Thankfully, we have paid off at least three small debts this year or we'd really be hurting right now! We play board games quite a bit at home-just b/c it's fun and it's time w/family. We also look for inexpensive ways to be together and have fun. Our DD's are constantly getting free movie rentals from pop lids or for their good grades so movies is something we do as well. We have a community band that have concerts every now and then and they never charge much. Sometimes, the Louisville Orchestra comes and performs at the town square. Those concerts are always free. So, there's plenty to do. Sometimes you have to look pretty hard but you can generally find pretty cheap entertainment. Plus, we do a lot of baking during the holidays-people love our peppermint candy and decorated sugar cookies. Cooking is always a fun family activity.

Well, gotta run. Thanks again everyone for listening, for being there and for your support and encouragement. Have a great health day. Be kind to yourself.

Good to hear that you're doing well Skinny. I can tell that you're a strong woman. Don't you love the holidays. I do! I just can't wait until tomorrow afternoon to just be with my family and get ready for our Thanksgiving drive to CT. I'm just looking forward to a few days with very few "have tos."

My sister is really angry at me. She's angry because she invited my parents to dinner last Sunday and I asked them to take care of my sons on Saturday afternoon. She felt that "I tired them out" and then they weren't interested in the visit. I only asked because I was going to a memorial service and my son had his last soccer game and it had been an undefeated season - it would have been hard for him to miss it. My sister couldn't see that point of view. She just feels left out of the family a lot and in some ways she is so I know where her feelings are coming from, but I think she was unjustified laying all the anger on me. It wasn't as if I was out on the town having a great time; and it wasn't even the day she was having my parents. Sibling rivalry alive and well. I hate when she's angry at me. She gets really really nasty and says awful things. It feels really bad. I decided not to fight back at all. I sent a loving email in response to her very mean, angry email. This is about the 10th time she's done this to me in my life so far. I'm the older sister.

Thanks for listening. Keep in touch. Let me know about your special holiday plans. So far I've planned a day to cut down the tree - we always go to the same tree farm and it's fun. I'm having my family on Christmas which is always fun (many people). I'll probably decorate the house the first week of December. So long.

Good morning, ladies
 

I believe I'm am officially back on the get healthy wagon now! :) I had a good eating day yesterday although no exercise (had a youth group member that needed to talk w/me). However, I did get up this morning and go to the Y: 35 cardio and 25 weights. I also have a cappucino this morning so all is good! :coffee:

TOF-I'm sorry your sister is being so mean spirited-especially around holiday time. :( Why does she feel left out of the loop w/your family? I had a sister (my oldest) who used to complain about no one coming to see her, calling, etc and I nipped it when she complained b/c it takes effort on both parts to maintain a relationship. It sounds like you handled it well, though. Kind words turn away anger. Thanks for your words of encouragement and kindness! It's appreciated much! :)

Marie-hope things are going well for you. Let us know how you're doing.

Oh, DH has taken care of two outstanding check advances. He's seeking my advice/opinion on every decision, which is probably a good thing for a while. Marie-he still hasn't called the psychiatrist but I'm lovingly reminding him everyday. He has a lead on a job that seems it would be right up his alley. It's ground maintenance for Mammoth Cave National Park-which is located about 15 miles from our hometown. He loves working outside. It's only part-time but it starts at 14.13 an hour so even partime he'd still be bringing home the same amount of money as before, more when he works over 20 hours a week. Plus, since it's not full-time, he can concentrate on seeing the psychiatrist and dealing head-on w/his bipolarism. Keep us in your thoughts/prayers, please. Plus, he is friends w/two folks that have worked there for years and both have given him permission to use them as references. :crossed:

This morning, Focus on the Family was talking about making sure you let people know you're thankful for what they do for you. So, thanks so much for all the encouragement and support I receive at this board. Not just about weight loss but about life in general. It helps a great deal to know I can come here and be free w/my thoughts, feelings, opinions. You ladies are very special to me. :grouphug: :flow2: I appreciate you both very much! :) :)

Oh, here's a joke that a friend sent to me. It's hilarious! Hope it makes you smile! Have a great health day!

Thanksgiving Recipe

When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like
me, who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly
cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try.
STUFFED TURKEY

10-15 lb. turkey
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is good.)
1 cup uncooked popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT)
Salt/pepper to taste _ Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Brush turkey well with melted butter, salt, and pepper.

Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan with the
neck end toward the back of the oven. Listen for the popping sounds.

When the turkey's a** blows the oven door open and the
turkey flies across the room, it is done.

And, you thought I couldn't cook.

forgot to ask...
 

TOF-how many sibs do you have and where does your sis fall into that order?

Good Morning TOF and Skinny,

My work week is done and I'm thrilled about that. I love the holiday season if for no other reason is that I get so much time off from work. I'm a lazy person by nature. Skinny, I'm happy that you're reminding your DH daily about the psychiatrist. You might want to make it a requirement because of the bills and stuff. It really is normal on Bipolar. I have a book that is very good at learning about bipolar. It's called An Unquiet Mind. I have it and if you want, I can lend it to you. Just PM me and I'll send it your way. It helped a lot for me to read it and I wish my DH would read it (he's not a reader so he doesn't want to). My fingers are crossed for the job. That would be a fun place to work. I really pray he gets it.

TOF, I'm sorry about your sister. Negative people are hard to deal with, especially when it's a family member and you can't walk away. I, too, think you handled it great. Kill 'em with kindness is always the best way to go. You can look yourself in the mirror and know that you did what you could. Have a great drive to CT and Thanksgiving.

Confession time - I'm having trouble staying in the healthy way. My portions are good but I have been nibbling. On Sunday I made choc. chip cookies because the craving was one week old and I just wanted the batter. I nibbled the batter and had a cookie. The there was hubby's caramel corn. I really munched out on that on Monday after work. That's my worst time, immediately after I get home from work. All the rest of the day I can fight the urge to munch but after work, there is just something that I have trouble with. I will continue to fight it and the next five days should be easy since I'm not going to work.

I did exercise yesterday, but since I got back from my parent's house, I'm really struggling. Other than forcing myself to exerise and fighting the munchies, I don't know what else to do. I still really, really want to lose weight but the dedication isn't where it was. How do I get it back? I'm sort of scared at this point that I will back slide until I'm all out eating again. I hope not, I fight it, but I'm scared. Those 17 pounds weren't easy to lose and they took a long time to get rid of. I need to be vigilant but lately I'm weak.

So my dear friends, give me any words of wisdom. I need help.
Marie

Marie-the best advice is to just keep plugging along. I think the holidays are especially hard to be healthy. There are so many traditions and so may emotions connected to the holidays that it's a struggle to stay on the straight and narrow. I tend to nibble as well. I've really become aware of it lately. I wish I had some great words of wisdom for you but that's my advice. Just keep reaching for your goal. Think about how much better you feel when you exercise and eat healthy. Think about being able to get rid of those "fat" clothes. Think about a shopping spree after you reach your goal. Think of how much more energy you'll have. Think of how good you'll feel about being able to stick w/it, even when it's hard. Think about TOF and me and how we're rooting for you! :cheer: :cheer:

I bought the book the unquiet mind but I can't find it. I will look again and if I can't find it I'll pm you to borrow it. I started it and it was a good book. Thanks for the offer.

Hi Marie and Skinny, thanks for the thoughts about my sister. She falls third after a very troublesome, time consuming brother who took the lion's share of family time. There are three more boys after her - a family of six. I think when she was growing my mom was just too busy and she was a good girl so they left her alone. Now she's acting out. Again, this happens almost every holiday. I'm hurt but I'm going to try to rethink our relationship. Many years ago I went to a counselor who advised me, after hearing many of our family stories, to really reach out and be kind to my sister. I think she could understand how deep her hurt was. When she calls me I'm just going to say once again that my intention wasn't to interfere with her time with my parents, it was simply that I was in a bind with two important places to go to at the same time. Thanks for being here.

Marie, I agree with Skinny, the holidays are hard. My goal is to not gain weight, try to stick to 1500 and not worry about exercise until after Christmas. I'd like to ex now, but I just don't have any time. I also think if I make a list of fufilling things to do when I want to munch, that might help. A few years ago I bought a lot of felt and made little teddy bears for friends and family as tree ornaments. I enjoyed sewing the bears and decorating them with buttons and stitching. I also enjoyed giving them away. I've got to make that list tonight as I've been slipping too.

Skinny, I'm so happy to hear about your husband's potential job. It sounds like a good one - interesting. The hours sound nice too. Good luck. It sounds like you're all dealing with the situation well. That's great.

I went to an annual breakfast today. Many people remarked that I looked like I lost weight - it felt better than any food. One man who commented stated that he had lost weight too, I replied "It feels great doesn't it" and he agreed.

So Marie I guess that you and I have to start visualizing to get the momentum going. Here are some visualizations - buying spring clothes! Wearing a bathing suit just a short six months from now. Having more energy to run and being less out of breath. Lower food bills due to the fact that I'm eating less. Bright colors! A healthy me!

Here's my Thanksgiving plan - light breakfast. A little bit of everything for dinner including dessert (not all probably by one or two small pieces) and appetizers. No dinner and back on track for Friday.

Take care all. Thanks so much for being here.

Happy Thanksgiving,

I hope you both have a great day. DH and I have a fun day planned. We're oging to Crater Lake National Park to go snowshoeing. At first we were going to go cross country skiing, but I'm afraid of falling on my shoulder shich was injured and not heeled earlier this year. So we decided to go snowshoeing. I'm more sure footed on those. So yes, today I will definitely get me exercise. I'll probably pass out when we get back for a hour nap. We're having a really late dinner so a nap would be okay.

Yesterday I exercised but still had trouble with food. I didn't go over my calorie limit but most of it was empty calories from nibbling. I think I will go with trying not to gain weight over the holidays and then get back to losing after them. I have been at a plateau for so long that maybe that will get my body back on track. I bet that I won't do it and stay with the calorie limit. My problem isn't that I'm overeating, I'm just not eating the healthy foods. I count the nibbling in my total calories. I don't know, I know I'm rambling but it's bothering me that I can't control the nibbling, but I can control the amount of calories I eat. I guess I'll just keep fighting it, even through the holidays. I just never want to gain again. That would be horrible.

Well, it's about time to start the holiday breakfast, so I will say goodbye for now. Have a great day and one of the things I'm thankful for is you two. Take care and enjoy your day with your families.
Marie

Hi all, I'm back from the holiday. We spent it at relatives in a beautiful country home with wonderful country scenery. Good company, good food and fun! The only problem is that we stayed a day too long. I got a bit agitated as I'm not someone who likes to sit around, I like to be on the go. I ate way too much - lots of comfort eating in response to not having much control over my day. That's history now and I'm home. Let's see if I can get back on track until Christmas Eve when I'll allow myself another reprieve. The good thing about all the unhealthy food is that it has made me feel gross - my smoothies, veggies, etc. keep me feeling so so so good! I don't like the heavy feeling after indulgence - that will help me stay on track

Hope you all are doing well. Take care.