Where is everybody? Looks like summer has taken you away from your journalling. I am well...I am back down to my pre NYC trip of 163 pounds so I am happy...despite all the key lime pie and ice cream I have been eating...go figure. Although I have been exercising

Meal Plan for today
breakfast: carnation breakfast with skim milk
lunch: salmon salad plate
dinner: chicken mole on whole wheat tortilla
snacks: yogurt, cherries
beverages: water, tea and diet cola

have a great day

Cyan

Hi ladies...sorry I have been MIA lately. My life has been in major turmoil and coming here just seemed so trivial the last few weeks. Remember how I was so emotional the last few months and crying alot?? Well, I couldnt bring myself to admit that I knew why because I was hoping the problem would go away. It all came to a head a little over a week ago. My husband almost left me for someone else!!! :?: ...a co-worker. They have been friends for a long time, but I had starting noticing alot of little things which made me suspect there was more than a friendship going on. Of course, he would always explain away anything I confronted him with and I'd shut up for awhile altho I never believed his explanations. It all came out weekend before last...and what perfect timing it was...the week of our 20th wedding anniversary!!! Needless to say, I've been a basketcase.

There is a positive side....he has ended things, she has left her job and stayed with her husband also, and there was no sex involved...thank God for that because I'm not sure I could have dealt with that. They had become close and honestly wondered if they might end up together but had an agreement that they would not go that far unless they knew for certain they wanted to leave their spouses and be together for good. My husband and I have had hours and hours of talks lately, more than our entire marriage probably and to be honest, the last two weeks, even going through this have been better than the last several months of suspecting and the denial etc because those things kept us from dealing with things. Seems that now his feelings are out in the open, we are working through things.

Another positive side is I wasnt able to eat that first week so I am finally back down to my lowest point in 15 yrs...back to the 189 I had gotten to before the holidays. I dont recommend that way of losing to anyone tho..lol

Work is also crazy...two people were fired in two days causing my load to increase greatly...all of this during the week I found out the news about my marriage. So you can understand how I just couldnt come in here to chitchat with everyone. I have been a mental wreck.

Life is getting better thank goodness. Couldnt get much worse right? lol

Kaylen, my 3 yr old neice is here til the weekend. Then in 3 weeks, they'll be transferring to Utah, 24 hr drive from here. :( (they're military)...

Well, it's almost 1:00 a.m. and I need to get some sleep. Just wanted to let you know what's been going on with me. Please remember me and my family in your prayers...we need all the help we can get!!

MIKI

Oh Miki...I am so sorry to hear this...You are a strong woman but I will send you lots of good energy to you and your family. I sure do hope that you work things out for you and your family's good benefit. What ever you decide to do you will always have my support. I hope that you get the outcome you want from this horrible situation you and your husband found yourselves in.

I hope your husband realizes what a great woman you are and that he has made a grave mistake and must now work very hard to fix it. It sounds to me that you are approaching it in the right way and that the talking you guys are doing is the best way to start the mending.

I sure do hope that he has learned something from this and that he never strays from you again ...and Shame on him and that woman for doing that...I am sorry, but I feel very strong about extra marital affaires even if it doesnt involve actual physical acts of betrayal...emotional betrayal is just as bad

Take care and I send you a big hug and a tap on your husband's head.

Cyan

Thanks Cyan. I have good and bad days and for some reason today was an especially hard one for me. My heart just aches inside and you are exactly right...the emotional betrayal is the worst part! I could have handled a one-nite stand I think easier than knowing he got so close to her that they shared every thought and dream and even wanted to end up together! That is sooo hard to bear!!! I am not giving up right now but it's definitely not going to be an easy thing to get over.

MIKI

Hi, all--sorry I've not been around. For some reason I've not received e-mails saying there were posts on the thread. I thought NOBODY was posting. I've been really busy this week--haven't even really had time to read the posts tonight when I decided to finally look up the thread--except I saw that Lisa is losing pounds and Miki is going through an extremely rough time now on the home/hubby front (hang in there)--will read posts soon and get back to everyone. Bye for now.

Hey Ladies

I have been off my diet for the last week and a bit...I am just eating everything and not caring so this week I am back on plan...dont know exactly what happened but after I got back from New York..I never got back to my habitual plan..so I am back...I am up a few pounds to 166 but I am bloated ...PMS so I am not worried I have gained but I most certainly have ot lost a pound since NYC...so I want to be losing again.

Miki...I hope things are going better for you...maybe some couples councelling is something you might be interested in or even individual counselling...someone to hear your thoughts. Let us know how you are doing when you get the chance

Meal Plan for today
breakfast: carnation breakfast with skim milk
lunch: smoked salmon with salad
dinner: chili con carne
snacks: none
beverages: tea, water and diet soda

exercise: pilates and I walked to work

Have a great day

Cyan

Hello Everyone,

Glad to be back to posting. Got a virus last week and tried to work through it all. Man I have been having a really hard time lately!! It seems my immune system is shot. Enough about me--Miki I am so sorry to hear about your difficult situation with your husband. It looks like you are working towards a resolution through all the hardship. It is okay to vent here and let out your feelings and use some of our shoulders to lean on. We are a pretty compassionate bunch here who have all been through tuff stuff--and what you are going through is hard. Remember though that it is not your fault. It is important not to blame yourself for it all as it wasn't your actions.

Cyan, sounds like you are staying on track well. Keep up the great work!!

Lisa--congratulations on your weight loss!!

Newie-looking forward to hearing more from you soon!!

Well, not much is new. Same old routine of getting a bit of biking and a bit of baseball in each week. Could do a bit more exercise and eat a bit better but have to get my overall health on track.

TTL
Cjunk

Hi, everyone--I finally had a chance to read the posts and get some extra time set aside to actually reply to everyone. During the last week, hubby was on vacation. That has its pluses and minuses. It's good to get a few extra projects done, but I can't follow the routine I normally do, so that is unsettling.

I've also been shuttling my older daughter back and forth to the high school she plans to attend in a year (where I taught years ago) to summer camps for middle school kids. She was in art camp two weeks ago, marching band camp last week, and regular band camp this week. The school is about 35 minutes from our house, so if the camp lasted 4 hours a day, I could go back home and get some things done, but these last two camps are 2 hours a day, so I end up trying to kill time waiting for her. I usually go shopping and end up buying stuff--not frivolous stuff, but I'm spending money just the same.

Last week I also started my yearly bingo operator stint at the school where my kids go and I teach. That will be every Wednesday in the months of July and August. Basically, I am legally in charge of the whole operation. I have parents from the school helping, and another operator with me, but I am in charge. My kids, with hubby's help, are running the concession stand there, and hubby is acting as "security"--a strong looking man around to inhibit misbehavior and help me close up the school and take the proceeds to the bank after the night is finished. It's very tiring work--usually the next day I really have no energy to do anything.

I've also been working on planning for the next school year. That involves organizing materials, planning lessons, cleaning out my basement and home office for items I may be able to use for school. I've also been buying secondhand books from thrift stores and E-Bay to compile a classroom library.

And I've also been working on my yard and house--generally getting stuff done. So, that's why I've not been around. Hopefully I can get here on a more regular basis.

Miki, I was so sad to learn of the problems you've been having in your marriage. I've never experienced the hurt of knowing my husband was involved with someone else--to me that would be such a devastating thing to happen that would be incredibly difficult to get over--but I have experienced a severe threat to our marriage and relationship, and we have areas which need ongoing attention to keep us strong. Early in my marriage, after my older daughter was born--John and I were separated for a short time. I had a severe OCD attack, and he just couldn't deal with it. He wanted me to just shake it off, and I couldn't. The situation brought to a head other issues that were problems for us--in particular, the fact that we were both children of alcoholics, which had brought a certain dysfunction into the relationship from day one--which included communication problems, trust and control issues, anger issues (we've had to deal with both verbal and physical violence in our relationship), in-law difficulties--actually difficulties in every area of our life together. We ultimately sought counseling. For a while we both went, but then I went by myself. That might be a help to you, whether you and hubby go together, or you go on your own. My experience was that a crisis really brings to a head issues that were present in the relationship along, and it really helped us to deal with some of those issues. It wasn't a cure-all. We still have to deal with so many issues every day, and it can be very rough, especially with some of the unemployment/financial issues we've gone through. My hubby finally agreed to see our family doctor about his anger issue and has been on a low dose of prozac for a couple of years, which has helped him immensely--I believed he was mildly depressed, and he only knew how to express emotion through anger. And I've worked very hard on my OCD. And we're both committed to being together forever--that is probably the most important part. There is ongoing communication between us--not always easy--but it has been the key to helping us live out our commitment. I'm also learning never to be complacent about the relationship. Every now and then I get this thought that things are going very well and smoothly for us--almost overconfident in my thinking--and usually it isn't too long before something comes up that we have to deal with. That happened to us about two weeks ago. We fought a whole day about trivia, I think, but we ended up going out together during the evening to talk away from the kids, because we both had a lot of stuff built up that hadn't been talked about. Anyway, I'm babbling here, but I wanted you to know how much I feel for you in what you are going through, but that I believe you guys CAN get through this crisis, and over time perhaps even be stronger, though it may not seem like it right now.

I would also suggest, Miki, that you be very kind and gentle to yourself right now. You are very wounded and need lots of care. Do good things for yourself--even a bubble bath or a shower with pretty smelling bath gel can do wonders for your self esteem. Get a haircut or style if that makes you feel good. Get some exercise to relieve stress. Find something you can do that makes you feel good--whether it's reading, needlework, gardening, or some other hobby. And don't force yourself to heal faster than you can. Also, prayer for yourself, for your marriage, and for your hubby (VERY hard to do when you are very angry at him and what he's done) can bring you tremendous strength. Anyway, I will keep you both in my prayers.

Cyan--I've experienced the step away from the food plan on a vacation and the difficulty getting back on. It's a rough one, but hang in there.

Cjunk--it's great to hear from you. Glad your computer problems seem to be worked out.

As far as food goes, I'm holding my own. I've not lost or gained any weight. My cravings are down because I am not being overly restricted in what I allow myself to eat, but I am eating smaller portions, and eliminating things that seem to bloat me or make me want to lose control. We'll see. Exercise is rather inconsistent, but I am doing lots of physical work around the house.

Well, I'm going to get going now. I've written more than enough to make up for my weeklong absence. Take care, girls. Bye for now.

Thanks everyone for the kind words of support. I am thankful for the friendship I have with all of you. I am hanging in there, and honestly altho it's going to take lots of time and work, I am already able to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I have no doubt right now that in the end, we'll end up with a stronger marriage than ever before. We are both working on that and I am convinced it's what we both want.

You know whats crazy? and also what made a huge impact on him...It was that when this came out, my thought was "Oh my god, is he going to leave me or is he going to stay?" Now, anyone who knows me would know that is NOT what would have been expected...even I didnt expect it! I would have thought I'd have kicked him straight out the door yet that thought never even entered my mind. You know until he actually made the comment how surprised he had been at my reaction I had not even realized that I had the decision whether or not I kept my marriage. That is how much I love him...even this drastic mistake has not lessoned what I feel in my heart for my husband or caused me to want to end the marriage. He honestly thought I would never in a million years let him stay yet I never even considered the option of doing otherwise! He said it definitely made him stop and think "wow...she was willing to do that for me".

Going through this has been ****, I wont make it sound any better than it is...yet through it all, it has confirmed how strong my feelings are for him. Hard for me to even understand myself. Anyway, I believe with hard work and lots of prayers, we are going to make it and come out stronger than ever before.

Thanks again for everyone's thoughts, prayers and support. I'll check again soon. (by the way, I am still doing great at my eating...one positive thing from all this)

Hey Gals

Still chugging along...not doing very well with the diet lately...I somehow lost the motivation or I am feeling comfortable at my current weight which is not the weight I want to be but for some reason I have not been motivated to move off this number.

Hey Miki...hang in there...its seems like you are working through your situation for lack of a better word. Let us know how you are doing emotionally.

Hey Cjunk ... looks like you are keeping active and doing your "thang" good on you. I need some of your exercise mojo....to get me back to losing weight.

Newie...looks like you are keeping busy as well...good to read that.

Well I sure do hope to get out of this mental slump I find myself in...on the good side...I just had an amazing lunch...grilled chicken breast with peppers, feta cheese and mole sauce...oh man...soooooo good...made it myself...mole sauce was from a bottle though

Meal plan for today
breakfast: all bran with milk and tangerine
lunch: grilled chicken breast with peppers, feta and mole sauce
dinner: citrus chipolte shrimp with whole wheat pasta
snacks: yogurt
beverages: tea, water and diet

exercise: walked to work..thinking about walking home and hopefully pilates tonight

have a great day

Cyan

I did better yesterday with my food and exercising. Tom is here so I think some of the craziness is gone.

I didnt walk to work this morning because of rain so I might hoof it home or if I dont walk I will have to cycle tonight.

Meal Plan for today
breakfast: carnation breakfast with skim milk
lunch: two burritos...small homemade on whole wheat
dinner: grilled bbq salmon steak with roasted peppers
snacks: yogurt and applesauce
beverages: water, tea and diet cola

exercise: walking and pilates

Have a great day

Cyan

Hi ladies,

Sorry I have been MIA for so long...busy at the lake house, kids home for the summer, life in general....

Miki, sorry to hear about the problems at home...a few years back I was in a situation that was on the brink of divorce...until you are in the situation you do not know how you would react. My hubby and I went through years of marriage counseling and probably could use years more...but it comes down to a few things...at least for me...he is a very good father and my kids would be crushed if we divorced, he is my best friend in many ways, we have a history together, no partner is perfect...the honeymoon does not last...some times it is times like these that casue real change in our lives...a fork in the road of life ....I will send you lots of love...please e-mail me if you need to talk.

Cyan, I am so happy to see that you are still posting your menus and losing weight!
CJ, Newie, Lisa, I will post more when I get the chance.

Weight update from me is not good...Gained back everything I lost a few years ago. I am back to 139 from a low of 125...Need to stop the junk food, start the exercising, get a plan and stick to it.

Hi, girls--thought I'd have a visit with you tonight--nothing really exciting going on here--yesterday I finished taking my daughter to her music camps--40 minutes driving each way, waiting 2 hours, then 40 minutes back--yuck!! Talk about having your day taken from you. By the time I got to the last few days, I was taking paperwork in the car with me. I actually got sick of shopping--not getting paid this summer, so I was concerned about the budget as well. Hubby and I went to the doctor this week for check-ups, new prescriptions, etc. I've gained 4 pounds since December--I knew that, but didn't like to think about it. I told him I haven't been exercising--he told me it was really important, and that I should. Two of the last three days I have walked. I'm pretty good at following doctor's orders, so I'll be getting started with my regular routine again. It will be good for my mood too. The OCD has started bothering me again, so the doc recommended that I increase my medication to the level I was at before hubby lost his insurance in October. I decreased my dose for economic reasons, and I have never been able to be at the dose I've been on and feel good for an extended period of time. I also started the generic brand of prozac, also for money reasons, and I felt the difference. Anyway, I've been taking this med for so many years--7, I think--that I can work with it, and adjust the dose (I have two pills of the same ingredient, only different doses, and I am able to make very slight adjustments over an extended period to take as little as possible to feel as good as possible.) and report to the doctor what I'm doing and how I'm feeling. I'm to have blood work tomorrow--have my thyroid level checked, among other things. I'll see him back in a month--I've been very tired, so he wants to see if my thyroid hormone dosage needs adjustment. Hubby is having blood work too. He has to have his blood drawn with him lying flat for 15 minutes, because he faints--I've seen it, and it's not pretty. (And they say women are the weaker sex! Right! I walk in, they poke me, take 4 vials, and I'm out of there!) Anyway, I've been receiving some of the books I bought through e-bay. I've read 4 of them in the last week. I'm on #5 now. I like these kids' books. Most of them were written after my time.

Cyan, I feel for you with your lack of motivation. I wish I was as motivated as I was last summer. I ate a lot of the Atkins shakes and meal bars back then because of the limitations of the diet, and now I just want to eat regular food, but in a combination that will help me lose and not make me feel deprived. Doc told me to eat lots of veggies and fruits. I'm trying.

Miki, you're on my mind a lot. Hang in there. You'll make it. You know, they say that being married is really the hardest lifestyle choice. There is so much to living out that commitment. It'll be worth it in the long run, despite the pain now.

Debee--it was good to hear from you. I'd wondered how you were doing.

Well, ladies, I'm off to surf somewhere on this web. It helps me get out of my mind. Family is watching TV. Girls are watching "Hope and Faith." I can only take so much of Kelly Ripa. Hubby is tolerating it so he can watch racing shortly. Take care, all. Have a good weekend.

Hey Ladies

Debee...sounds like you are having a nice time at the lake house. Sorry to hear that you are back up to 139. Hoping you get motivated again to lose those extra few pounds.

Newie...I am sure being without a paycheck for the summer is hard...it would worry me too to see money going out and none coming back in. Hang in there...before you know it, summer will be over and fall at your doorstep. Enjoy the summer while its here.

I have been plateauing at the same wheight for the month of July end of June..so its been about 4 months. So I am hoping that this week is the week to get off this plateau

Meal plan for today
Breakfast: carnation breakfast with skim milk
lunch: lean cuisine chicken dish
dinner: chili con carne
snacks: banana and yogurt
beverages: tea, water, diet cola and chrystal light

exercise:walked to work and pilates

Have a great day ladies

Cyan

Hello All,

Here I am again, except this time I have to say that I have gained a few pounds lately and my butt has gotten bigger! A new medication that I am taking for my low levels has weight gain as a side effect and I am feeling it!! I haven't been eating healthy either. Last week I realized that I have had a summer of burgers, potatoe salads and hot dogs as well as munchies. Definitely not healthy. So the good news is that I should be able to tackle this problem with some discipline in cutting out the junk. Hopefully that will take care of the few pounds extra. If not, I will move to more stringent measures. I have baseball this week. Last week was one heck of a workout where I ran non-stop the whole game as I played Rover position and the batters were opposite batters each time. Practiced batting on the weekend and also went rollerblading and swimming. Kind of low-key on the aerobics side though.

Miki-sounds like you have a positive attitude and your head in the right direction.

Newie-It doesn't sound like a relaxing summer yet at all! In fact I get stressed out reading your activities!! I think you need to lay low for at least a few days and tell yourself it is okay to do absolutely NOTHING!!

Debee-Welcome back! I can say that I am probably in the low 140's in weight and normally 125-128 so I am missing my size 7 clothing right now. I hate the tummy bloated feeling!! Maybe you and I can cut the junk food together!!

Cyan-You are great for getting back on track with your diet. I admire your discipline. I don't think I could function on such little food each day. I eat like a horse!! I guess I have to learn to cut back and get my stomach to shrink.

Gotta get rid of my addiction to butter chicken! We have an Indian restaraunt down the street that makes the best butter chicken I have ever had. I will really miss that chicken....:(

Ah well,

More from me later.

Cjunk (and not eat it!)

Hi, girls! Great to read the posts tonight. Just to let everyone know--I am going to try the low-carb stuff again. I've been watching the weight come on, and I think it's the amount of carbs I've been eating, even though most of them are healthy grains and fruits. And yesterday, I ate a Kashi Good Friends cereal with blueberries for breakfast, and in about 2 hours I got very shaky and scared. I thought it was an anxiety attack, but it felt more severe. I decided to eat a peanut butter sandwich and half a donut, and within about 10 minutes I was better. I think the high carb/low protein breakfast caused me to get hypoglycemic. Anyway, that plus the scale trying to go up another pound and me not really eating much junk or large quantities of anything just sealed it for me. So I went out this morning--walked first with my daughter. We talk about growing up and stuff like that when we walk, as well as a little of what it feels like for me at my time of life. Then we went to the grocery store, and I got a few things that are helpful to me on a low-carb diet--some Atkins breakfast cereal, because I really like having cereal before bed at night, Atkins shake mix--I can make 13 shakes, which are really snacks, for the price of about 5 or 6 ready made canned ones--a multivitamin for people living on a low carb plan, metamucil so I can head off constipation, low-carb yogurt because I can't eat eggs, and I need some variety, and natural peanut butter, because it has no sugar, and I eat smaller portions of it because it isn't as sweet. I can't do induction exactly because of the egg and cereal thing, but I am giving up all other grains. I will eat some blueberries until I finish what is in my refrigerator, but those are low-carb. I just can't stand the thought that I'm starting to gain. I really don't want that to happen. From what I'm reading, it sounds like most of us are at similar places. Let's hang in there, ladies.

Cjunk, believe it or not, the pace I described is considerably slower than the one I maintain during the school year. To hear another person tell me that my "slow" summer pace isn't slow at all is actually scary. I will say that I want to move at a slower pace than that, and now that those band/art camps are over, I should be able to do so most of the time, except on bingo day--Wednesdays. I think I am finding some resistance from my hubby. I don't know if he really grasps how much I need to rest!!! I told him tonight that I kind of feel burnt out, and I get mad whenever someone wants me to do something I don't feel like doing. I find myself often saying, "No, I don't want to do that now. I want to do what I want to do." I know I can't be completely selfish. (Wouldn't it be nice, though?) I am trying to get a balance of rest, progress on home projects, and progress on school work. I think he feels I am not making enough progress on the home projects. But I'm not giving in. I know I need this, and that I and everyone else will be glad I did in the near future. I also put my foot down about my girls helping me around the house, and I gave each of them a list of chores that they have been fighting me about for some time and said they have to do them. I've been also angry because their help has often been halfways at best and that much with considerable resistance.

Cyan, just hang in there with your plateau. You've been doing so well over the last few months. You too, Debee. This is just one of those periodic struggles we go through. As I read all of your posts tonight, I find it interesting how we seem to go through cycles of success and struggle--thankfully we've found each other to get us through the difficult times and to congratulate us when we're succeeding. Miki, I'm thinking of you. I hope each day is getting better for you.

Well, I'm off to another site--vegging out on this web tonight. Take care, ladies. See you soon. :) :)

Hey Ladies

I did really well yesterday..I just read my previous post and I said I was on a plateau for 4 months...I meant 4 WEEKS...anyway...I walked to work and back home yesterday..I also stopped off at Provigo and bought some fresh salmon which I baked in the oven ..it turned out delicious..I had it with a chickpea, spinach, tomato and onion salad...drizzled with a bit of olive oil. Oh so good. I also did Pilates...just a little but I worked out my lower back and stomach and legs.

I got on the scale last night after walking home and it read 163.5...that is a first...to weight that in the evening..so I think I might see 162 by friday and I am feeling good about reaching 160 by july 31...I set this mini goal for myself...I have a friend's wedding to go to and I want to be 160 by then...that one week and 4 days..wish me luck.

Meal Plan for today
Breakfast: peanut butter reduced on whole wheat
lunch: leftovers...salmon and chickpea salad
dinner: leftovers..chili con carne
snacks: yogurt, small banana and maybe ice cream
beverages: water. tea. diet cola and crystal light

exercise: walk to work and I think I will walk on home...pilates

Oh I have been using metamucil for fiber therapy...and let me tell you ladies...I am so regular it feels so good...so I recommend it to anyone who needs extra fiber in their diet like I do...I have one teaspoon of the smooth texture sugarless orange flavored metamucil and it rocks. It says on the bottle it can be used regularly for those who dont get enough fiber in their diet..thats me..so I am taking it.

Hey Cjunk...at least you are getting this anemia thing under control and you will feel better soon. I know what you mean about eating junk food...love it love it love it. When I went to NYC, I was eating more but I was walking tons..but when I got back, I continued to eat 1600 to 2000 calories for a period of 4 weeks...I am very lucky I didnt gain any weight but I sure didnt lose a pound either. so now I am down to about 1300 to 1500 calories and hopefully I would like to cap off at 1400. we shall see.

Newie I know what you mean about being frustrated with gaining weight especially when we have been working so hard at losing. Its funny how a few days of eating off plan can play havoc with our bodies. I hear ya and I am hanging in there along with you. Good luck with the low carb diet and keep us posted.

Have a great rest of day ladies

Cyan

Hi, ladies--I'm on early today. Today's bingo day. I'm feeling so much better than I've been feeling. I am sure that the increase in medication I started last Friday is a factor. Also, I've had the opportunity to talk with a good friend about how my OCD has been affecting me lately. I don't share that with too many people because it's so hard to relate to if you don't have it. Her daughter has it, so she is more receptive than the average person to listening to details. Anyway, I have a better sense of well being, have more energy, am sleeping better, am more motivated--just feeling better in general--a BIG difference from how I was.

I'm starting on Day 3 of my low carb plan. I haven't lost anything, although I am releasing tons of fluid. It seems I am in the bathroom very often. I use metamucil when I eat low carb, Cyan, because I can't eat the high fiber cereals I usually eat because the carb levels are too high. Also, I'm trying to get rid of cravings, so I'm staying away from grains as much as possible. It does help, though I need to use more for my system than the once a day dose recommended. I'm probably not losing yet because I can't do the strict induction Atkins recommends at the beginning. I'm probably eating 40-45 grams of carbs daily, rather than the 20 recommended. However, that's considerably lower than the 200+ grams I was eating before. I am usually pretty satisfied, and I know I'm eating less. Anyway, we'll see. I worked in the yard 4 hours yesterday, so that was my exercise. I don't know if I'll walk today because it's very hot and humid, and the air is bad. But bingo will burn a lot of calories. I basically am on my feet running around for 9 hours straight.

Well, I'm out of things to talk about this morning. I will be back soon. Take care, all. Bye for now.

Hello Ladies

Hey Newie...good to hear that you are feeling better. And before you know it you will see the scale move down. Just stick to you plan. You are probably doing more of a southbeach diet which I think is better for you anyway, it allows you more options. Yes I love metamucil...I am good with one a day therapy. works for me LOL

Anyway, I walked to work yesterday but didnt find the energy to walk home...so hot and humid...I should do it tonight but its hotter than the devil's drawers..so we shall see what happens

Food wise was not so hot yesterday..I would up eating too much...as usual...I start the day really well and my dinner time, it all goes south and I over eat...I guess stress is very high at home especially when my mother is being aggressive and loud and wont let me relax a little...I notice on days like that..which are becoming almost everyday, I eat a lot more...junk food...carbs really.

So Meal plan for today
breakfast: carnation breakfast with skim milk and metamucil
lunch: smoked salmon with low fat cream cheese on french bread and green grapes and stuffed green olives
dinner: oven bakes trout with carrots
snack: yogurt and 1/2 cup of ice cream
beverages: diet cola, water. tea and coffee

exercise: walked to work..hopefully walk home and pilates or cycling

Have a great day

Cyan

Ok, the past few eeks have been so bad...here is an example of the junk I have been eating...

breakfast--half of an apple pie! I kept picking a it and iwthin an hour I ate half of it! Three cups of coffee 8-1p.m.

Lunch -took the kids to a tex-mex resturant and had nachos and salsa, a chicken and beef hard taco,

Dinner- went to the mall with kids and hubby and had a kids meal at Chick-a-fil, diet coke, waffle fries and 5 chicken nuggets, and a few spoonfuls of a hot fudge sundae

Snack - a small bag of fritos and about ten pringles....

Ok so I need to understand how to stop...heres my plan

1. No more going out to eat lunch instead have my turkey pita.

2. Eat a real breakfast (egg white omelet)

3. Plan a real dinner with chicken, veggies...cut out bread

4. Do not buy the junk food and have it at home...no pie, fritos, pringles, find some healthy snacks for me and the kids

5. Exercise..walk more do yoga again, start using he rowboat,


I also need a goal ..a special date to work towards...maybe the first day of school which is 8/26. I am 140 now and will try to lose 15 pounds in 5 weeks ...4 the first week with adkins, 3 the second week with adkins and then 2 pounds the following weeks just cutting out bread, junk food, sugar.

Hello Ladies
 

Hello everyone,
I hope you are all doing good. I have read some of the posts and it seems like everyone is having their days.

Well, so sorry I haven't been in touch. I don't know if I mentioned in my last post that I have been really really ill lately. I was losing weight and I finally broke out of my 190's and hit 189. Well, you can look at this two ways. Things went very bad and now it is kind of good.

I ended up in the hospital the first week of June, and they thought that I had gallstones, and it turned out to be kidney stones. Which I had to pass. Then I wasn't getting any better and eating was becoming a thing of the past. Well, through a couple more weeks of sheer pain, and coming home and going straight to bed with vicodin on a daily basis, I ended up back in the hospital on June 30th. It turned out that I had a gall stone lodged in my bile duct and and it was about to rupture. I had to have surgery on July 2nd to take out the gall bladder and all the stones outside of my gall bladder. I was released from the hospital on the 4th of July. Surgery went fine and my recovery was great, it was nothing compared to the pain I had endured daily for over 2 months. So it was a piece of cake. Well 5 days after the surgery, I was still unable to keep any food down(which by the way was only toast and broth). At this point you can only image the weight I had lost thus far.... I ended up back in the hospital, because I had complications from the surgery and I become jaundice and septic(I still don't know what septic means, Lisa, do you?) So I was in the hospital again for 4 more days. At this point food was something that I have no interest in, because after the jaundice was gone, they said that I developed a gastrointestinal virus, and that was causing me to not keep anything in my system. Because it was a virus they had no reason to keep me, so they released me and I have been home since. I just started eating solids on Monday and I have to say they aren't all agreeing with me. I don't look forward to food, nor do I look forward the pain of my body rejecting food.

Now I can only say that when my dr. gives me the okay to work out again, i am sure I will see the reprecussions of my not eating for weeks. But right now, I think I have lost more inches than anythign else.

Let me stop and say, Miki, I am so sorry to hear what had happened to you, your husband and your marriage. I am celebrating my 8 year wedding anniversary today and let's say a week ago, I didn't think we would even be talking. Men don't take well when the woman gets sick. My hubby got scared and just shut down on me, so my recovery has been slow and lonely. But I got him to open up this weekend and talk to me, because I saw where it was going, and if I don't fight for my marriage, no one will. Miki, be strong and I am sure everything will work out for the best. I believe everyone is given an ultimate test, and now that you have had yours, you can continue to grow as a couple and flourish beyond your dreams TOGETHER>...

I am off to bed now, I need my rest. I am very weak from the lack of food, so I have spent most of my days in bed. I am on disabliity from work right now, and I don't know when I will be going back.

I just wanted to let you all know that I am alive and recouperating and I wish you all success on your goals.

Debee, thanks for the email, Once I am up and about, I am sure looking forward to a challenge anyday.

Take care ladies and I am always thinking of you all.
Reina Mia

Oh Man

Reina...wow...sorry to hear that you have been so sick...poor you...hugs and lots of good energy sent to you. I sure do hope you feel better and that you get your strenght back very fast.

Debee...sounds like you have put together a good plan of attack and that you will soom be back down to your goal weight. It's hard when the weather is good and everyone is enjoying fast food...its easy to slip back in.

as for me...I am plodding along...last night was very hard ...my Mother had another episode and she kept me up till 2 am screaming. I think its the aspartame..it must be mixing in badly with her meds...I have noticed that on previous occaisons when I have given her diet food containing aspartame ...she reacts this way...very aggitated...screaming and un repsonsive...she is diabetic and every once in awhile I will give her a sugarless drink or dessert but i think its doing her more harm so no more foods containing aspartame from now on.

I walked to work and home last night and did a bit of pilates

I walked to work this morning but I will take the bus home because its sooooo hot and I think it will thunder storm tonight.

Meal Plan for today
breakfast: carnation breakfast with skim milk and metamucil
lunch: poutine..home made...oven fries with cheese curd and sauce
dinner" tuna salad
snacks: yogurt and some kind of fruit
beverages: water, tea, coffee and diet cola

have a great day

Cyan

Wow, I've missed a lot of posts. Like Newie, I stopped receiving e-mail notification of posts! I think it's because they re-did their homepage and stuff.

Miki, I am praying for you. I've imagined how I would react in a situation like this and I don't know how I would get though it. My husband and I did go through a rough situation one time that took a while to get over. If you ever want to chat, I'd love to chat on Instant Messaging or something. I'm here for you! We all are. I hope you know that.

Reina, septic means you had an infection. Whenever someone has surgery of any kind, they are at risk of infection. We try to keep the OR and the equipement as sterile as possible, but there is always the risk. So, at sometime in your surgery, you were infected and your body wasn't able to fight it on it's own because it was already weakened by everything else going on.

Well, girls, I'm FAT FAT FAT!!!!!!!! I dropped Atkins and started eating everything in sight and I'm up to 207!!!!! I haven't taken my anti-depressant in weeks and I'm depressed and feel ugly!!! On top of that, there is lots of stress going on in my life which leads to more eating. We're trying to sell our house so we can start building our new house. When we do sell our house, we will start living with my in-laws while our new house is being built. AAAAArRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!! Oh...the sacrafices we must make for the greater good...right??? Also, I'm waiting to see if I will get financial aid this semester. I'm on suspension since I didn't pass last semester. I've appealed it. We'll see. I don't see how I can go to school if I don't get financial aid.
So, tonight my husband and I and another couple from church and their baby girl and our baby boy are going on a double (triple actually) date tonight. We're going to a new Mexican restaurant in town and I"m going to eat like a pig. Then tomorrow, I'm going to start my low carb lifestyle again. I can do it. I have to. Not just to look better, but for my health as well. I cannot stay this big. It's just not good for me. It's just frustrating because I can't do the induction phase of Atkins (which sets me up for fast weight loss) since I'm breastfeeding, so the weightloss is really slow I am just to impatient.

So, wish me luck. I hope you are all having a great weekend. I think of all you daily and hope that one day we can actually all meet in person!

Lisa

Hi, ladies--I was in reading the posts this morning, and somehow I missed the last two days' worth of entries. I don't even want to know how it happened. Luckily there was a notice on my e-mail tonight, and the last page was on it.

Reina, you poor thing! What a horrible last few weeks you've had! Actually it seems to me that you are actually pretty lucky to be alive, with what you've been through, with the stones, their complications, and then the infection and virus on top of it all. I know people who have died of infections they contracted in the hospital. I'm glad you are finally getting better, slow as the process may be. I also know what it's like to have the hubby come apart when the wife gets sick. When I even get a cold (which for me is a pretty serious sickness because I get croup and bronchitis and sinus infections, and I'm restricted in what medicines I can take because of my thyroid condition), he pretty much freaks out--gets all crabby, basically cannot handle it AT ALL!!! He even openly admits when I get sick, the whole place falls apart. I won't even go into the hysteria that was in my house 14 years ago when our older daughter was born, and I wouldn't stop bleeding because of an endometrial infection and 5 weeks after giving birth ended up having a D&C because it was getting worse and worse. We had been married 14 months at the time! Oh, brother!!! So believe me, you're not alone in that experience. I'm glad you worked things out with him.

Lisa--it sounds like you've got a lot on your plate too these days--new baby, worries about school, a house to sell, living with someone's parents instead of on your own, breastfeeding, feeling fat--I noticed you said you hadn't taken your antidepressants in weeks--is it the breastfeeding that is preventing you from doing so? I don't know why you were taking them, but are they something you are supposed to be taking for your well-being? Just from my own experience with OCD (and the depression it causes), I know that medications like this can make the world of difference in your life and the lives you touch. I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but are you in touch with your doctor at this time? I'm sure you know you're still postpartum, and especially if you're breastfeeding, your hormones are not in the normal place, and your moods might be changeable. Don't forget to take care of yourself. I've learned in my own life that I can't take care of anyone or anything if I haven't taken care of myself. I sort of know a little about what you are going through not being able to do the Atkins induction, though your situation is much more extreme than mine. I really can't do it either because I get sick from eggs, and eggs are a big part of induction. I'm doing some kind of Atkins/South Beach/low-carb mixed up plan. Like you, I wish the weight were coming off faster. I lost one pound this week. But before, I was going up!!--and I hated that. I also feel better just being off sweets. I don't know how you'd feel about this, but have you thought of just trying to get into a habit of eating healthy for baby now, and then go for the weight loss after baby is weaned? Like I said before, I don't want to seem like I am telling you what you should do (only you know what is right for you), but you sounded kind of overwhelmed by lots of different pressures, and that it was getting to you. I've been to the overwhelming place, and it's not fun to be there, so please be understanding of me if I seem extra concerned about you. I just care.

Cyan--you sound like you've had a rough few days too--Alzheimer's is such a painful disease to watch and be a caregiver for. Take care.

Miki--how are you doing? Well, I hope. Let us know what's going on with you so we don't worry.

I'm doing pretty well--like I said, I lost one pound this week. I'm just trying to do the best I can--I do feel better being off flour. I am eating Atkins cereal before bed and Atkins breakfast bars, along with cheese or sugarless peanut butter for breakfast. That's how I get around the eggs. I also eat cottage cheese and low fat yogurt. The metamucil keeps me from being constipated. I take it twice a day to be regular. Tonight we went out to dinner after church, and I had a great chicken caesar salad--roasted chicken strips, romaine lettuce, tomato wedges, cucumber, Greek olives, and caesar dressing. It made me really full. I'm still glad I increased my Prozac. I just feel better all-around.

Well, I'm off to other sites. I'll keep all of you in my prayers in the next few days--things will get better! Bye for now.

Newie, thank you for all your kind words and advice. I do not see it as you trying to tell me what to do. I appreciate all your instruction. I really really do. I crave that kind of direct honesty in my life. Thank you! The reason I haven't taken my anti-depressant is because I ran out, and my insurance doesn't cover it anymore. So, now I have to pay full price, but I only need 10 mg a day so my dr prescribed 20 mg a day so I can cut them in half and then the price is the same as before. So..... I have just been too lazy to go get the prescription filled. That's part of the depression, not being motivated to do anything. It's a cycle. I take it (Lexapro) because of depression and anxiety. I get stressed and then I take it out on people, mostly my kids, and I get depressed and feel sorry for myself and start hating everyone. It's not pretty. I will get it filled hopefully tomorrow.

We had someone look at our house this evening. We don't know how it went since we weren't here, but we hope it went well. Tomorrow there is an open house. I really hope someone wants it!!!

We had a fun night out with our friends. It was great to just be out and relax. We went to a really nice restaurant and we talked and laughed and just relaxed. It was nice.

As far as eating, I'm just going to be mindful of what I'm eating and make good choices. I have lots of knowledge about food and nutrition, I just need to apply it when I make my eating choices. I know how and why the low carb lifestyle works and so I will eat accordingly and as long as I don't eat candybars and cheesecake and such, I won't be too hard on myself. I will also drink more water instead of diet pop all the time. (does anyone else call it pop?)

Well, that's all for now.

Lisa

162.5!!
 

I am off my plateau of 163.5 woo hoo...I stepped on the scale sunday mid morning to see the numbers 162.5 on the scale. :jig: :dance: :encore:

I hope to continue the weight loss this week too but I know my weaknesses...it happens almost every evening when I get home...good intentions and all..somehow it quickly dissipates and I wind up eating off schedule...ack...if I could stay on target in the evening I can probably lose another pound...which will put me at 161.5..not the 160 I was hoping for but I will take it. So wish me lots of luck and strenghth and hopefully I will be able to stay on track in the evenings

Hey Lisa good to hear you had a good weekend and the restaurant outing with your hubby and friends sounds great...it sure is nice to do that every once in awhile...I must of been channeling your evening cause on sunday we went out to get some thai but our favorite thai restaurant was closed so we had mexican instead...and it was good too...I had chicken enchilladas with mole poblano sauce with rice, beans, salad and cheese which they melted over the beans. Oh boy it was soooo good.

Meal Plan for today
breakfast: peanut butter sandwich on whole wheat and low fat pb
lunch: turkey breast deli sandwich on whole wheat and homemade potato salad
dinner: baked trout with carrots and salad
snacks: yogurt and fruit
beverages: water, tea and diet cola

exercise: walked to work and pilates in the evening

Have a great day

Cyan

Hi ladies,

Just a quick note...spent last week at the lake with friends...lots of fun and food. Didn't start adkins yet and we will be going on vacatiion to the outer banks soon so I think I have to revise my diet plan and schedule.

Reina I was so happy to see your post but so sorry to hear about your gallatones...I had a gallstone blocking my bile duct and never had pain like that before...I kept vomiting and thought I would pass out from the pain...I had to have emergency surgery and I will tell you the pain made childbirth seem like a breeze...I will send you my prayers...oh by the way, my hubby is also so bad when I am sick...I thought it was only me...I guess woman are always the caregivers and that is why men don't go through childbirth!

Cyan, so happy to hear about the weight loss..you are really doing it!

Newie, hope you are enjoying the rest of the summer. When does school start?

Lisa, sometimes lots of stressful things come together...just remember this to will pass.

Hey Ladies ..Just a quick post ...I had an off night...I didnt exercise at all and I didnt eat well either...let me explain...I didnt walk to work or home..I bussed it instead...ack! When I got home, my Dad had home made coconut pound cake...so I ate it...then I had my dinner which was whole wheat pasta with shrimp and scallops in a butter white wine olive oil and parmesan sauce...sigh! It was good. And then my friend showed up and she brouhgt pop corn so...as you can see...the party in my mouth continued.

Meal Plan for today
1 slice of bread with peanut butter and metamucil, blueberries, plum and tangerine
lunch: dinner leftover
dinner: dont know yet
snacks: yogurt
beverages: water, tea and diet cola and maybe coffee

exercise: walked to work, maybe walk home and pilates

Have a great day

Cyan

HI all....just a short second but had to check in. I'm doing ok, as well as to be expected I guess...definitely still on an emotional rollercoaster. Poor hubby never knows if I'm gonna be up or down either..lol Good enough for him right??? Gotta keep him guessing and on his toes. Some days are fine, almost like nothing ever happened, then some days the slightest thing hits me wrong and I am like a wild woman lol. I'm assuming that's all normal and will pass in time. Today is a good day, yesterday wasnt. I guess it just takes time to heal such deep wounds as I have experienced over the last months. Not giving up tho and I honestly do love him with all my heart. Thanks again for all the kind words. Soon I promise I'll get in here and respond to each one individually.

Hi, ladies! I've been puttering around the house a lot this week--trying to take advantage of what's left in the summer. Actually, Debee, my summer is really drawing to a close. The first day of school for kids is August 30, but I am going to several teacher workshops--two are toward a church requirement that I have certain religious education background, and one is a reading workshop. Anyway, the reading workshop is Tuesday--1/2 day--at a high school not too far from here. On August 10, I have another 1/2 day workshop on creating religious services and liturgies for children. That's somewhere in downtown Chicago. Then on August 11, I have another religious workshop--on one of the Gospels of the New Testament--at a church north of Chicago--about 50 miles from my house--eek!--I know the area--driving will NOT be fun. I get to get into my classroom on August 16, and I have to go to two full-day math workshops at my school on August 18 and 19. So, anyway, in between that, I am trying to balance doing whatever I want as much as I can with house projects and chores with planning for the school year. On August 21, my older daughter and I are driving to Milwaukee--about 90 miles north of here--for a wedding of one of hubby's cousin's children--hubby didn't want to go, and I know better than to force him if I am looking to have a good time. I really have to go because the cousin is also a teacher that I see at various meetings, and she personally asked me to come. Anyway, it will be a girl's day out--we'll drive back that night--the first grown-up dress for daughter--it's been fun shopping, though we haven't found anything--she has this woman's hourglass figure--I'm trying to help her look pretty but not trampy--not easy these days.

Foodwise, I'm very frustrated. I lost one pound but no more. I've been feeling very deprived and bored--not a good thing. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, except eat very sensibly right now. Maybe that's the best thing for me to do. I really do not need to stress out over food. Stress over anything is not worth it for me. What I really want is to be HAPPY!!! Anyway, I'll keep everybody posted.

My hormones are also acting up--of course normal for being 48 years old. I've been trying to get a migraine headache all week, and today it finally arrived. I slept a few hours this evening, with my head under a pillow to keep out all sound, and had some ibuprofen and coffee. It's more manageable now, but not quite gone. I think these headaches come from a drop in estrogen. That's what I've read.

Well, I've got to go. Miki, hang in there. The rollercoaster is to be expected--you've had a trauma. Cyan, I wish I had your determination. Debee--don't lose hope. Bye before this internet cuts me off--it's been trying to.

Hey girls. Hope everyone is doing well.

I was out of town this weekend. I left Thursday and went to my mother's and then we went to my grandmothers so that we could help take care of my great-grandmother and great-grandfather who were recently put on Hospice and needed some extra help this weekend. It was bittersweet getting to visit with them and talk to them, and seeing how old and unwell they are. My great-grandmother has Congestive Heart Failure and rheumatoid arthritis. She is 89 years old. My great-grandfather is 92 and as ornery as can be. He has had some "mini strokes" and has lost his short term memory. So, for the four hours I spent with them on Friday, he asked me who I was at least 10 times...probably more.

Well, tomorrow I'm on the road to weight loss and I'm not looking back. However, Cyan, (and anyone else who's willing to dish it out), I would really appreciate a GIGANTIC cyber kick in the "you know what." I have been making excuses for too long and I am ready to be a better mother, wife, and person with the energy I need to do all those things!!!

So, this is the last time you will hear from the fat, lazy me...from now on it will be the healthy, active me!

Lisa

WooHoo Lisa...you go girl....out with the fat lazy you and in with the healthy acive you...I can't wait to hear about your weight loss successes..it will motivate me to stay on track too.

The month of July was basically a write off for me...I only lost like 1/2 pound...but now its a new month and I am motivated to get off of the 160's and move into the 150's with gusto.

So I am recommiting myself to my weight loss plan and giving up the excuses as to why its okay to eat desert every night and not exercise.

Meal Plan for today
breaksfast: banana with skim milk
lunch: homemade lasagna
dinner: minute steak sandwich with asparagus and carrots
snacks: grapes and a pear
beverages: water, tea and diet cola

exercise: walked to work and cycling for 20 minutes tonight

Have a great day

Cyan

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! You go Cyan. I am fired up and ready to lose!!! I'm having fried eggs for breakfast...yummy and then I'm off to my TV to do my new exercise video. Snacks will include my low carb popsicles and lunch will be hamburger patty with cheese and a side of cooked zuchinni. Dinner will be cooked broccoli with cheese and chicken.

I WILL lose weight.

For accountability I am going to post my weight as of today. It is..... 204.5!!! I will weigh again on Friday.

Lisa :jig: :tread:

Hey Girls...day one of my mini challenge for the month of august went very well. I was able to stick to my food plan and not deviate one bit although at around 10 pm I wanted to eat all the little debbie cakes my dad has in the pantry and the lemon pie he has in the fridge...yes..I know where all the junk food is and I dream of them during my moments of weekness.

Anyway,

Meal Plan for today

Brealfast: special k cereal with skim milk and one pear
lunch: cod fish cakes with carrots, cucumber and olives
dinner: baked salmon with one green sweet pepper
snacks: cherries and yogurt
beverages: water , tea and diet cola

exercise: walked to work and cycling for 20 minutes

Have a great super duper day

Cyan

Its me again...looks like everyone is busy...I am doing well..although I did have a slice of lemon pie..my favorite..it has been in the fridge for the last couple of days and I couldnt resist any longer..so down the hatch a slice of pie went...sigh

I plan on walking home and doing some pilates tonight

Meal Plan for today
breakfast: peanut butter sandwhich and strawberries
lunch: rest of home made lasagna
dinner: salmon cakes and side salad
snacks: yogurt
beverages: coffee, water, tea and diet cola

exercise: walk home and pilates

Have a great day

Cyan

Hello to all. Hope everyone is doing well and hope everyone can make it in to post this week!

Cyan..Lemon Pie? Next time you're faced with temptation...just stare it in the face and say...NO!!!! However, I can understand how tough it must be when you're not the only one in the household and can't control what food comes in and what doesn't. With a little extra exercise today, you'll be fine!

I've been doing very well on plan. Today is day three. I want to post what my starting weight on Monday was as well as my measurements so that I can share my success as it comes.

Weight: 204.5

oops
 

okay..measurements:

Chest: 44.5
Waist: 44.5
Hips: 50.5
Left thigh: 25.25
Upper arm: 15

Holy cow...I'm huge!

Lisa

Okay, girls...where is everyone!!!

Just wanted to say hello!

Miki, I enjoyed chatting with you yesterday. You hang in there!!!

Cyan, I very much enjoyed our conversation and I still get the giggles when I think about it.....you bad girl you!

Okay...hope to hear from the rest of you soon!!!!!

Lisa

Whats a girl gotta do...Lisa...ya know LOL

I enjoyed chatting with you too...thanks for helping my work day go by quicker.

I ate the rest of the lemon pie yesterday evening...its all gone now...no more temptation..so its back to my intense weightloss plan for the rest of the month.

Remember our challenge Lisa...I am holding you to it.

Meal Plan for today
Breakfast: special k cereal with skim milk and cherries
lunch: salmon cakes and mexican rice
dinner: chicken enchilladas with mole sauce (not having the rice)
snacks: yogurt
beverages: water, tea and diet cola

exercise: walked to work..will walk home and pilates

Have a great day

Cyan

Hello Hello Hello!!!!

Well, it's Friday and I weighed myself and I went from 204.5 on Monday to 198.5 today!!!! I lost 6 pounds!!!!!! Yippee!! :bravo: :cb: :cp: :dance: :dancer:

So, Cyan, I'm goona meet that challenge!!! NO PROBLEM!!!!!!

Hope to hear from the rest of you soon!!!!

Lisa