This is how my morning went.........DS woke in tears and continued to cry til he left on the bus.( DH commented that DS doesn't act like that when I am not here, may need to "discuss" this) DS was also very emotional at the folks. Cried a lot. He did go play with a friend yesterday aft against my "better judgement" but he was great. You just never know. SIGH.
He woke a 4:45am Sunday so he went to bed at 7 last night and slept til 7. That should help.
I ate cottage cheese on a wrap last night even though I wasn't hungry. ARG! I didn't exercise. I did do some stretches and watch bits and pieces of the Golden Globes.
I had a nice visit at the lake. I haven't been there since the end of the summer. Wow. Busy. When the kids were toddlers I went a couple times a week. Had a hot tub.
I have 2 extra kids today. I will be taking all 5 to storytime. 3 will nap this aft.I will have 8 kids from 3:30- 5.
No other big plans really.
Breaky is done. The kitchen has been hit by the morning rush bomb. Must tidy. We will come straight home for lunch from the library........
Storytime was great. I had my 14 monther with me and then a friend showed up with her 6 monther. I sat with one on each knee for a 1/2 hour gurgling and cuddling. MMMMMMMMMM !!! That made my day.
I just had a pesto wrap with a tofo wiener,mixed lettuce leaves, sprouts and sweet onion dressing and an egg roll for lunch. YUM!
I am ready for a tea. Feeling on the edge of being down today.
I think my hormones are wacky this month. I had PMS symptoms last week, spotted 1 day and then nothing. Need to keep better track of things.

Girlie~ glad you are feeling better. Nice of DH!!!!! Fun!!!
Get some good, restful sleep tonight, okay.

How's it goin' Chicks???????

Later

Girlie: Hope you feel better! Good for you for going to the gym on little sleep! I myself can't even form coherent words on a few hours' sleep. I sometimes miss being young enough to function on no sleep. It is interesting how we change as people as we move into different stages of our lives, and also how our bodies change along with us. Instead of obsessing on how I look, I've been trying to think about how my body can best serve me in the life I live now. I think that we tend to become less active as we get older, as a function of society: the further we move into suburbs, cubicles, television, the more we find ourselves primarily drivers, sitters, watchers. All the things that favor weight. I'm coming to the realization that my body must serve my life, and that my life must serve my body. This is probably something everyone else here realized ages ago, but I'm just catching on! So my plan this week will be to stop thinking of myself as a brain floating in a jar, attached to a demanding, superflous body!

Holly: Thanks You're awfully sweet. Every now and then I think I'm going to clean out my books and get rid of at least a few, but about an hour into it I find myself spread on the floor reading bits from different books and realize I'm just a book person. I can't get rid of them! Hm, inability to let go of things...there's a fertile weight-loss-psychology topic! Your garden sounds so beautiful! Sometimes I yearn for a little square of green (my mom's an avid gardener, and I feel so at peace in her yard), but I know I'd also miss the energy of cracked asphalt. Maybe there's a way to have both: the thrum and skitter of urbanity with the pulse and furl of the earth. As Whitman said, "Urge, urge urge...always the procreant urge of the world." I think we feel it in our bodies, this desire to flower, and the extra weight is both an imbalance of systems and at the same time a kind of joining in the joy of excess nature creates. Maybe it's in the language: "losing weight." We don't like loss, barreness. Maybe there's a better term. Gaining muscle? Gaining balance? Gaining Prada sweaters?

Getting philosophical...better move around. I'm not just a floating brain! Body is vital! Interconnectedness! Balance! And all that jazz.

Spores~ the problem is knowing all this health stuff and actually doing it. It IS a balance of body, mind and spirit. For me they never seem to be functioning at the same time. I do good in some areas, flop in others. Lately I've been pretty in tune but still not in a total groove.
I too have a VERY hard time letting go of anything. I have worked hard at this. It gets easier with time.

Hey Holly and Spores - seems like we're the only ones around today!

Spores:
I long for a patch of green myself. Dh and I live in a house with no backyard and two small squares of yard in front with the steps to the porch in the middle. It's a small home and was very affordable so we bought it. We hope to move again within a year or so...into a bigger place, with a yard. I'd love to get lost while digging in the dirt with matching gardner's clogs and gloves hee hee. You know, I have no problem getting up in the morning when I've had little sleep...it's like I'm so out of it that I just do it. The problem is the next day, even if I get 8 hours of sleep tonite, I'll still have trouble waking up tomorrow. I think I function better on about five hours of sleep...I'm so tired that I have to work hard to focus on what I have to get done. I think I'm still in the college mentality and am still weaning off of the all nighter syndrome. And I graduated in 2002!

Holly:
You are right about having to be in tune and get in a groove. I feel like I'm sort of on a groove. With the exercise, I feel I have a routine going and to be honest, I look forward to my time at the gym because I'm still amazed at what my big ol' body can do. It's the eating part that gets me. I probably burn enough calories a day to make up for the extra calories that I might eat, but eventually my body will get used to the burned calories and I'll either have to up the exercise (somehow) or truly account for everything I eat.

Holly: Yes, finding balance is a struggle. I miss doing yoga: it seemed to center me and make working out a much more holistic thing. I think that's my biggest challenge with exercising: it feels too much like a grind. I like exercise that seems to be about more than just burning calories. I need fun, meaning, insight, a deepening of a whole system. Yoga, dance, and NIA work for me pretty well on this, but they require leaving the house, spending money, and facing very flexible, coordinated girls in stylish half-tops. I found this on another thread: www.punkrockaerobics.com. Looks like a blast, and I am anxiously awaiting the DVD. Has anyone around here tried it?

Girlie: Yes, gardening seems like so much fun! I suppose it's possible that someday I will have a real house with an actual yard, but as long as my bf and I keep choosing don't-quit-your-day-job type careers (writing, acting, filmmaking, and composing are guaranteed bank account killers!), I'm going to have to stick with container gardening. Which is neat, actually. I have now managed to keep a houseplant alive for a whole year (I used to kill them in weeks), so I think I just might plant tomatoes in a big trough and stick them on my carport roof! The thing that excites me about gardening is growing my own food. Since my folks eat mostly vegetables, they are able to provide about half of their food all summer from their own backyard. This astounds me. Agricultural processes have become so seperated from consumers, and there's so much suspicious stuff in the food supply. I imagine the sense of pride and security in providing one's own food. And I wonder how that would affect my food choices. I tend to get panicey about food: when I get hungry, my body takes over and acts as if I'm a cavewoman who must stock up on mastadon meat for the next six months. I am well-adapted for living like a monkey. Sadly, in reality I am a writer who stocks up on cheeseburgers for the next six hours. But growing my own food...would that give me more sense of control over my food supply? Would that then reduce the panic of hunger? Would that satisfy the reptile brain that, despite the obvious proximity of at least five grocery stores and ten fast-food joints, I really and truly won't be going hungry? Maybe. That, and gardening, while not technically exercise, is certainly active. Moreso than hunting-and-gathering in my pantry.

Maybe everyone else isn't around because they are not, like me, desprately avoiding their work. Sigh. Time to read yet another paper from a college student who can't tell the difference between "its" and "it's."

Spores:
I love your thoughts, and reading them too...for I too am avoiding work

I agree. I mean, to be honest, I've never been super creative. Aside from some fiction and poetry, my brain just doesn't seem to be able to go past the line of visual creativity created by my own hands. I can't cook very well, can't draw or paint or anything like that. But with gardening, I think it's something that can be done half with creativity and half with logic, plus with the rewards of being able to watch what I've grown, as if it's answering my pleading calls. Something I can spill my heart into like a poem yet get a response back from my own creation!

Plus, it's something that burns calories and uses some thought. And I do feel like I'd get a sense of pride from this...and save money. The two main things I'd like to grow are corn and cucumbers. It would also be wonderful to be able to take a basket of tomatoes to a neighbor for no reason at all.

When I get hungry I feel like you, as in cavewoman, in a sense. I've been known to stuff my face with cheeseburgers or chocolate...but to me maybe I feel like it's fulfilling some sort of urge, like I NEED this cheeseburger and the cheeseburger needs me. But all I end up with is bloating and gas.

This is the simplest yet most difficult concept for me to grasp:

Food is there merely to refuel our bodies and keep us healthy and strong.

And I say "merely" very lightly. That's all food is, to keep us fueled and healthy. Not to keep us full, not to fulfill our every food craving and to make us feel emotions. How and when did food become this happiness factor? Why does food have to taste good? If all we could ever eat was oatmeal, I'm sure no one would be overweight or greedy with food.

I'm really procrastinating now!

Girlie

Hey, I sure missed everyone! I haven't caught up on all the news but the few post I read sounds like everyone is doing well. I haven't done too bad on the eating but I have been taking it easy. I was reading about the growing your our food, when I was in my teens my parent did this late 60's back to your roots thing. I remember they didn't have a tractor so they tilled the garden wth a mule. but we grew bushels and bushels of veggies. We canned and froze all kinds of stuff. I thought they we nuts. We moved a nice house in the city to my grandparents farm in north carolina. we only had wood heat. At the time I thought we had dropped off the face of the earth. Now these are some of my fondest memories. Me milking a cow! Making butter. Now I'm just proud of my few veggie I grow each year.


HUGS TO EVERYONE

Hi you guys



Well, My weigh in went well friday, I had great progress, lost 5 pds for the week, down to 250. So far this week, I am sticking to phase 1, less than a week to go, then phase 2. I have been so cranky maybe it's good I didn't post


Later
Susan

Girlie: Oh, no, don't ever say you're not creative! I am always sad when people say that (it seems to be the most common response to the phrase, "I'm a poet"), because I really believe that everyone is creative. We are creative beings. Maybe writing and painting are the things society deems "creative," but the fact is we all feel the urge to take whatever unique and magical things we have within us and realize them in the world somehow. Gardening, yes, very creative, and I love that idea of something tangible that speaks back to you. (Seems like my writing only speaks back to me in the form of rejection letters!) But everything we do can be creative expression: how we place our hair, the gesture of our hands when we speak, the way we put our bodies into the world, anything. And what we eat, of course! I think of creativity as composting: taking in what the world gives you and subjecting it to your own internal process of fertility, then putting it back into the world. Those binaries: creation and destruction. I keep coming back to: how can I treat my body creatively, not destructively?

Yes, I am with you on the need for cheeseburgers! Funny, what we mean by need. I too struggle with the "food is fuel for the body" concept. Because, really, in our society, it isn't. In fact, most of our "needs" (sustenance, shelter, survival stuff) are overwhelminlgy met. But we keep needing. I think about the people who don't have the luxury of needing they way I think I need: people who struggle for basic survival every day. Why do I "need" differently than they do? Then I think about how many images of food I see every single day, and what kinds of food those images protray, and also all the other advertising/branding that bombards me, and I wonder...are our needs defined by what we perceive as our options? Do I "need" to replace my 35-year-old car because I saw 23 car advertisements today? For me, the pigging-out-on-junk urge often comes down to simple consumption. It's the same whether I'm tearing through a burrito or loading a shopping bag with shoes; whether I'm watching a chunk of television or going beserk on ebay: I want to consume, and in a way that smothers critical thinking, questioning, and stimulation with a feeling of security. We are a consumptive society. We make our needs and they drive us.

Again, great, but how to translate it into mindful actions?

Debbie: Wow, your farming memories sound lovely! What a great experience to have as a youngster. Makes me want to milk a cow!

Sueisme: Congrats on the 5 lbs! You must have had a fabulous week. I think it's amazing that you're down 115 lbs. What an accomplishment. I am in awe.

Okay, I'm gonna shut my big mouth for a bit and cook dinner. Whole wheat pasta and salad. Woo-hoo.

hello everyone
just a quickie tonight, not feeling well. i think i caught the flu from my DS. gotta love kids and their germs. hope you all have a great evening. hopefully i'll be raring to go tomorrow. i'll catch up on the cheeseburger debate and give you all my thoughts.

Hello,
I missed getting here yesterday. I hate it when I don't have time my computer time. It just seems like there aren't enough hours in the day sometimes.

I have been struggling with food for the past couple of days. Just eating second helpings and such. I did ok yesterday..so today I will work on doing the same things that I did yesterday which was a lot of self-talk and journaling. I did go to my workout last night also. I thought about skipping because it's so cold outside and I just didn't want to go back out, but knowing my workout buddy would be there I went....let me tell you..she has saved a lot of workouts for me. This is my hard time of the year to stay motivated. I hate the cold! But I've got to remember that I can use this time to get this extra weight off so when the warm weather comes I can be ready for it.

Sorry that I don't have time for personals this morning. I'm going to try to get some in later on.

Susie

Feelin' a little down.
A combination of things I think.

I have noticed a definite relationship between how well I do with food and exercise and how well DS is doing emotionally,behaviourally. I takes so much energy to deal with his drama in a healthy, constructive way. Add worry to that and I have nothing left at the end of the day. I need to find a proactive way to counteract this now that I am aware of it.
My cycle is mixed up. I had pms symptoms last week. Spotted on Thurs and then nothing.I spotted yesterday. Unusual for me.
I have been thinking about my history with my Mom a bit. DD said on Saturday morning,” I dont like Gramma. I will only play with Grampa”. DH smirked and walked away. I was surprised on 1 level and then on another not. It stirred up a lot of feelings for me. My Mom is very hard to take. Lord knows her heart is in the right place and it took me 30 years to see that but she is pushy and intense, insecure, outspoken, unknowingly hurtful, conceited......she is also loving, kind, generous.... There are years of therapy and issues here. Anyhow, it was, I guess, interesting that my 4 year old daughter came out with that. Part of me felt sad for Mom too because she tries so hard, too hard, to be the perfect Gramma. It would be so nice if she would just be real. Of course, she would have to know who she was first. Sigh.

It was a good, busy, long day, I had 8 kids here for before and after school. 5 kids in between. I took them to storytime, which was nice.Didn’t have time for much else but kids . I made a modified(ground) turkey tetrazini for supper with a salad. YUM!
Laid down with DS and held him. He sobbed and sobbed.
Watched Corner Gas and 24. Barely stayed awake. Went to bed , had a good, deep sleep.
We ended up with snow yesterday. It whipped up to blizzard conditions around 3:30. There was no visability for people coming home from work. DH was late but okay.One Dad came in his tracker to pick up his kids.
My sister and I bought tickets to go see Kalan Porter on Feb 9th. He is the sweety who won Canadian Idol this year. I cant even think it with out giggling. It is soooo dorky but I adore him. I voted for him all along and he is so cute and talented. It is a far cry from the Metallica etc of the past, LOL!!! Feeling kind of middle aged.ROFL!!!!!
I am glad my kids are too young to tease me.Although, DH will make up for it. So far he just laughs and shakes his head.
It is very cold,-27C, sunny and clear. The snow is glistening in the sunrays coming through the trees.

I have 3 kids today. Dh decided to stay home. I hope he will tile. Every one is fed. DS is off to school. I need to eat, shower, wipe up crumbs.....
I will try to WATP this morning, after the baby goes down for his nap.
HUGS CHICKS!!!!!
Have a happy day!

Hi


Boy!! I'm I blotted today. Somebody told me that if you drank a lot of water it will help relieve it. I'm going to try it anyway. I brought a pair of new jeans yesterday, size 20, I was a size 28, I am tickled pink. Good thing!! I'm tall, 5'10. I will be happy if I get to a size 12 one of my goals. I hope everybody has a good day


Take care
Susan

Jodi: Oh, no, the flu! Hope you feel better. No fun.

Mychoice: I am always so in awe of that ability to go out to the gym when it's cold and yucky. That's great that you have a workout partner! Could you share more about how that works for you? Was it hard to find someone who had similar goals/fitness level/schedule? Does that accountability ever backfire? I would love to find a workout partner, but am not sure how to go about it.

Holly: Wow, mother issues, there is a wealth of material for internal digging! Sounds like you have so much on your plate. Hope you have a nice tucked-in day and don't have to go out in the swirling snow!

I am struggling today with how to balance weight-loss priorities and the million other demands in my life. Seems like everyone here has such a good handle on that! My trouble is that it seems like there often just isn't enough time/energy for both. And weight loss goes out the window, because there's no external authority. Paying my rent isn't dependant on getting my workout in! How to make my health a real priority when, ultimately, I don't view myself as an authority figure?

Will be busy this next few days, but hope to have time to post!!

PS: I notice lots of people have that neat chart at the bottom of the posts showing weight goals. How do you do that?

Susan: Size 20, congratulations!! Eight whole sizes...that's amazing. Yes, drinking water will really help with the bloating. The more water you drink, the less you will retain. Sounds counter-intuitive, I know, but it works. Also, avoid salt as much as possible. Sodium contributes to retaining water, which is the last thing you want! I also find that hot tea helps, but I don't know if there's any scientific basis for that. I just like tea.