Hello My Darlins,
Back home and in the South where the warm spring sun begins to slide even now into summer. I missed most of the wisteria but the Honeysuckle is leaping into action to make up for it. The garden is tilled all 144'x48' of it!!!Guess who has to go out and buy plants fast!!! I think Hubby has bit off more than he can chew but we shall see. I have my seeds sprouting now so part is near ready for planting. I have to out tomoprrow and plant my new flowers and shall do so with glee. Oh my Dears I am now the biggest HGH fan in the world what a difference! I did not use my wheelchair one time while I was in Illinois no one was more amazed than I. I have a Susanne Summers exercise machine and can actually use it. My endurance is building but after all of thses "sick" years my muscles are non-existant. I am working on that!!!!!!!!!I gained about ten pounds while in Illinois but not because I ate a lot. In fact everyone worried that I didn't eat enough. I did but we ate a good bit of sandwiches and fast food as there was no time for anything else. I ran my you know what off.....say, I better measure that puppy.
Pat I love what you wrote and remember well how that feels.
I could so relate. Ann, who is the birth Daughter of My "Dad" and my sister in spirit for more years than I care to count, was relating how she bought me pink tennis shoes and practically dragged my lazy butt around to get to exercise and my response was I really don't feel to well. She was practically beating her breasts about doing that to me not knowing that MS had taken a hold of my body at that time. She apologised profusely saying" I thought you had just gotten lazy " LOl I told her not to feel bad I didn't know either!!!!
Now my life is returning to me in a large degree. I can move , walk, and function near normal. My husband is delighted. I no longer have to sit and cook!!! So though ten pounds up I am not unhappy. I shall have it gone in a week. I begin tomorrow in a set routine much to my own joy and twice a day that includes exercise!!!! Thank YOU GOD!!!!!!
I had warned everyone before I went to Illinois that I had changed much , aged, mushy, and androgenous. I was stunned to hear people I knew who judge others harshly say you aare more lovely now than when you left ten years ago, you look so much younger, The priest at the funeral stopped and looked at me... saying , do you never change ...no I take that back you are more beautiful than I remember you. Another I knew said, you look exactly the same as I remember you. I had to back track and now I have better view of myself looking through the eyes of others.

AS for exercise , dieting and all of it....
I am humbled by God's grace
I am grateful to be able to move again trapped so long in a body that could not respond to my will.
I take joy from the aches and pains of long unused muscles that are now beginning to respond once again.
I am filled with wonder at each new thing I can do again , like walking in a store, bending over without my back leaving me.
If I am not yet graceful in all my movements it is only temporary and once again that to shall return.
I delight in the expectations that others are putting in me, even if I can not meet all of them yet it has so long since anyone believed I could do the things I am doing. Sometimes they expect more than I am able to do at this moment but happily it is growing every single day and each day a new discovery of the me I once knew and and am getting to know once again.
Not in my body,but in my mind, in my spirit and most of all in my own personality. I have rediscovered me. The me long gone buried once in illness, weakening hope, and a view of myself ascued by lifes circumstances. I have come home in more ways than one.
Pam

My Goodness I can't tell you how happy I was to see Pam and Kina checking in.
You were missed , Now we just need to hear from Melody.

Lee, Terri too.

Yes there are alot of lurkers, You too are welcome here.

Pam I love to read what you feel you have such a way of conveying info. I can't tell you how jelous I am of you weather. We have snow in the forecast yet again. I am glad that you are feeling better, not trapped or betrayed by your body.

Kina. I know too well about Seeing the end of the semester. For me it will be starting classes again. We always start a new thread with LO Carb and a # . ANd usually do so when we get up to 2 pages.

Hey Sue how are you and the new car? I am feeling closer to the zone. Mentally . DH and I got the treadmill upstairs last night. So teh room at home is ready. Got to get there!
Well You all have a good day

Today was a warm day a day for air conditioning. I walked out into the yard with my purple silky caftan waving in the warm breezecaressing my legs almost affectionately and went to check my new seedlings. They were so thirsty. The sun had warmed them well and the moisture had reached out to the sun leaving the little seeds longing for the moist earth that coaxes life to explode from the dark soil and reach delicate arms upward in praise. Gently like a spring rain I drizzled water over them almost hearing a sigh of relief. So my Darlings I wispered soon, I shall set you deep in rich soil with room to wriggle your tender roots deep into the soft welcoming ground. I turned my water to my beloved Magnolias and beconed them to fill with the huge blooms so richly fragrant of floral and citrus. My azalias cried out for the loving attention I had lavashed elswhere and I obeyed happily raining gently on the the delicate pink and white flowers that graced my eyes. Flowers still in pots yearning for release from cramped plastic pots also were indulged in the gentle rain that came from the old green hose leaky and needing replaced. There to did the rain fall softly with promises for release on the morrow.
The birds played gleefully in an out of the leafy trees in some game game known only to them and God. Some sang for me the bees hummed a tune in harmony, the breeze whispered in the treetops so clearly I nearly caught their secret words. This was my day today peaceful and serene on the surface and much enjoyed by me but beneath in the center of my mind a thousand thoughts of things to do indoors and out filled my mind gratefully in an orderly, nay, friendly manner causing no chaos nor disharmony but rather like old friends coimng one by one to be seen and achnologed. Tomoorow we go out into the world and adopt more plants more seeds to add to the charming promise of tomorrow ablaze with life and giving thanks with the fruits of their lives and efforts so again I can praise them and their brief lives will have been filled with the product of selfless giving to our cycle of life and together we shall rejoice in the sharing. Each knowing we are and have fulfilled our destinies.
Pam

Pam that is so beautiful. You have such talent with the written word. It sounds so beautiful and peacful there. It reminds me that I miss alot of the world by feeling pressured and pressuring myself. I am glad that you continue to feel well. You're efforts are being rewarded in beauty.

Well I am closer to the zone. More concious of what is going in my mouth. Have worked out 2 days so far, water intake continues to improve. More mentally stable.

How are the rest of you doing?

Today the clouds lay languidly above as though to shield me from any harsh effects of the day as I lovingly nurse ailing plants suffering from neglect while I cared for my extended family so far away.Soft words spill upon them encouraging them to grow and be renewed with love. Expectations of miracles always in my soul and great hope for the fragrances and beauty that are hidden beneath sickly limp pale green. Still I know what it is to be in that condition and as long as any life exists there is hope. So, I hope on feeding them whatever possible. Energy, water sunlight, nutrients whatever I can and always I hope and pray for thier efforts to be successful. Today In gentle hands they will be set in fresh and fertile soil unbound roots to find a way to revigorated good health. Yesterday I walked for miles searching for plants and accesories for the vegetable garden amazed at the ease with which I walked and moved. Free again, free again. How much we take for granted is ever present to me. How we resent the efforts needed for work or play until....it is not possible. To be in a body racked with pain, profound weakness, the inability to function at all trapped within our skins. Imprisoned by flesh unable to comply to the simplest request. I am free again. I delight in the body fat, older, weak but gaining strength and robustness, vitality!!!! So much to do so much I am grateful to do. Dreams of what I wanted to do coming true each and every day.
Never , never let go of your dream ...for when you do you have let go of the real you. The person you value the most that can do so much for all you love. Never let go of you and your dreams no matter what the odds. Don't believe what anyone tells you when they ask you to let go of you or your dreams . Keep them closae to your heart and protected in your arms because miracle do happen...every..... single...... day!
Pam

Yes Pam miracles do happen every day. And I just read a saying that dreams are the basis of life and when you stop dreaming you stop living.

Well another week is past.
Not as close to the zone as I was in teh beginning of the week.

I am going to start a new thread #44