Honey, your smile is enough to light up a room...you wouldn't have to say a thing to make friends....just show them those pearlies!!!!!!!.
I was listening to a really interesting video today. I'm gonna go find it and put up the link...
here it is: http://undergroundwellness.com/blog/
It's the one that is the featured video in the middle of the page.
Listen all the way through as he talks about what might cause depression. It could simply be what you are eating...
If YOU feel good, those around you will be drawn to you.
Then, get out and LIVE...go away to college if you can and have fun!!!!!!
You can reinvent yourself for real instead of online.
It's full of places you can go to meet people who are interested in their good health...
take some of the classes...you never know who you might meet!!
Go stroll around a local farmer's market and ask about classes too..
(BTW, my sister lives in Winston and I was up there in June...great area for produce..I could have lost my mind!!)
Now...go, Girl, go...........
Last edited by femmecreole; 08-04-2010 at 03:34 PM.
I'm really glad I read your post. A couple years ago I was in your situation. I had a job, but no real friends. Today I have a couple sort of friends but I'm rather alone. I have a great man now, but just like you, at 21, I was in a really bad place mentally. In fact, I destroyed my life, my credit and gained a ton of weight while feeling so alone and worthless. I can't say magic happened. The process of rebuilding my life has made me stronger. But I'm still alone. I don't make friends well. ( emotional and social issues due to upbringing, need counseling...)
I wish I could reach out to you more.
*Getting glammed up always made/makes me feel better, and more confident.
*Counceling?? (free support group in the area??)
*Take a risk, what do you have to lose?? (don't sell everything you own and move away like i did, not unless you KNOW what you are doing)
*make up a self-loving Mantra. (I started to do this last night, after I had a break down over having no solid friends)
When I read your post I got mad. I hate to hear people talk like that about themselves. You are your best cheerleader. You can walk around smiling for absolutely no reason and people are going to want to know why you are so happy...TRY IT!! But having too many friends is nothing but drama. All you really need is two really good friends. I recommend you pray for two friends that you can depend on, trust and will help you move forward in life. See what happens.
Find five nice things to say about yourself and say them twice a day when you wake up and before bed...you disposition will begin to change. You gotta take charge of your life you are too young to be so miserable. Be willing to take some risks and have some fun. I tell all the younger people I know to ENJOY LIFE. I waited until I turned 30 to decide to enjoy life and wish I had started enjoying it sooner. Start loving yourself and travel alone, take yourself to the movie and dinner. A person enjoying themselves is a magnet. Love yourself and others will join in.
Last edited by jigglefree; 08-04-2010 at 07:27 PM.
You got some really great advice and support here. I didn't read it carefully, but I did skim it. I was going to suggest one more thing....have you thought of adopting a pet? I thought that if you have a dog that you could walk, it would get you out more and help you feel less lonely at the same time. I think sometimes it helps to help others. See if there are volunteer opportunities. I used to volunteer at a children's hospital. It involves a lot of heart break but it also helps you think about others which is sometimes good in making you feel better about yourself. Another think I'd like to add is that exercise is like a natural antidepressant. It's not enough for many people, but it is for some. I struggle with low grade depression and I find that exercise helps lift my mood....it's not a magical solution or anything, but it's something positive.....drink lots of water, go to the mall and just walk around....get out and volunteer.....try to find a job.....see if you can help your mom with something....plan something special for her so that she knows how much you appreciate her...it could be something as simple as a healthy picnic...just some ideas. I feel your pain and hope you can find a way to live happier.....you've taken the first step....you're here and your'e being honest with everything...doesn't that feel good already? XOXOXOXO
I can definitely relate to having no friends. It's safe to say I'm technically socially handicapped. I use to be super anxious around people or in public places, but it's getting better.
In high school up to senior year I had a very small group of friends (3 other guys). We would hang out at school, but we wouldn't spend any time outside of school together. I didn't even have any of their phone numbers.
After high school one joined the Army, the other joined the Marines, and the last one still lives in town with his girlfriend I believe.
I work at Domino's as a delivery driver and there's quite a few people my age that I have fun working with, so at least I get some social interaction. I also play PS3 online with them from time to time. I've been invited a couple times to play beer pong, but I don't handle alcohol at all. :P
All in all, my best advice I could give....
Stop caring what others think about you, chances are you won't remember them nor they you in a week... A sort of grim look at it, but we all end up the same in the end, so don't fret.
Last edited by ServerNotFound; 08-05-2010 at 12:03 PM.
The first thing is that you have to start loving yourself and excepting yourself and realize that you are NOT perfect!!!!
Also try to change the things you dont like about yourself/life. It wont happen all at once but it will happen with effort. As someone else said above you will be surprised how many people would actually love you for YOU!
You have found a great place to come and share you ups and downs and if you want to lose weight you have found a great place to start. Make yourself and home and NEVER stop believing in yourself because you can DO it!
First, I think you need to remove "Lamest Loner Around" from under your screen name. I hate that someone as beautiful as you are would think of yourself as such. I say that "you are beautiful" and I don't even know you but I believe it wholeheartedly. That saying "Lamest Loner Around" is something like a reminder of how bad you feel about yourself. Try putting something positive. You are NOT lame, and you are definitely NOT ugly.
Like almost everyone else has said before me, please learn to slowly but surely love yourself unconditionally. Take some time to look in the mirror, and actually say "i love you" to the image looking back and mean it. Don't compare your lives to others, I know many people married or in a relationship and they are living in **** on earth. There are small slim women that almost kill themselves in order to look that way.
Regarding the fake profiles on websites - *sigh* I have been there before as well. I won't to go into detail since I am still very ashamed about it because my intention was not to hurt people. I just wanted some kind of attention or recognition. I have come to the conclusion that HONESTY is the best policy. The fake profiles do not solve the problem, it only brings more heartache and shame. It just makes your self esteem dip even lower because doing this reaffirms that a fake version of you is only acceptable, but that is not true. You are good enough for any man, or any friend, they need to be the type of people that will accept YOU for YOU.
I hope you soon realize that your fate is in your hands and you control your destiny. Its time that you focus on you and the rest will fall into place. Trust me on this, I used to feel just like you. Feel free to PM me if you would like some words of encouragement.
Wow! Your post hit home cause I used to feel the same way. Some days I still do, I can't deny that. The one thing you gotta remember is you can't change everything overnight. Work in small steps to some goals. As for exercising, don't wait around for someone to exercise with you. I did that & well I was disappointed when my friend stopped working out. I felt like I couldn't continue. So, I found support elsewhere...online.
that's a good tip. my sister and me went walking for 30 minutes lastnight.
i asked her if she wanted to go walking again tonight and she said maybe
and it kind of discouraged me but forget that!
i'm still going anyways with or without her.
i can't wait for my brother to move down here with his dog so i can go walking
and not have to worry about my safety at night. we'll both be getting plenty
of exercise.
Do you like to dance? I take my fat butt dacning at this bar in Fuquay at least 2 saturdays a month. Its a sports bar that does karaoke and hip hop on Saturdays.
It would be great to make a new friend to do these things with
hey girl, I felt pretty much how you are feeling... my entire life! I was the loner in high school that got teased, I made a couple of friends then but no bff type friendships. People said I'd grow out of that awkward stage, but I haven't yet. I've also been depressed. I went to doctors back in highschool, tried prozac and zoloft and it didn't really help. Good doctors cost money, so it's hard getting help and treatment. I also tried a couple of church groups but I didn't seem to click with anyone and people didn't seem too friendly outside of church.
I don't have any friends either, and although I have my mom she isn't well mentally so I can't even really talk to her and I have to watch after her and do the things around the house.
I'm also doing the weight loss thing by myself. I come here for support and advice, but IRL I'm doing it by myself. I guess you just have to want it bad enough to stick to it. In a way, doing the weight loss thing by myself makes me feel like a stronger person...like if I can face this alone, I could face or do anything on my own.
I also spend alot of time online. I've been on the net since 11 or 12 too, as far back as when AOL chat rooms were cool. I was honest at first with my pictures, and although some guys said I was pretty a few said I was ugly and that was that. I started to do the fake profile thing.. I did actually meet someone from it, and I even lost a ton of weight so when I did meet him it might not look so bad I lied about my pics. I was with him for 2 years, and although he overlooked the pics thing, he also turned out to be an abusive jerk and I stayed with him because I felt it would be impossible for me to find someone else.
Besides that one guy, I found talking/lying to guys like that would be a trigger for me, I would just feel bad later knowing they didn't like the real me and actually go EAT. So I've just been putting dating on hold the last couple of years, partially to focus on my mom and to also get in shape and lose weight so I feel more confident. I want to be confident with a guy I like, but also be confident enough to leave one I feel isn't good for me or I don't like.
Now I mostly game so it doesn't matter what I look like, just what my in game character looks like.
People can tell you to just go out and enjoy yourself, but it's easier said than done. I agree just going out for a walk, doing DDR and maybe popping in some exercise DVDs will get the endorphins going and you'll feel better. I know it helps me a ton when I exercise regularly, especially lifting weights.
If you want a new online friend or diet buddy let me know
One part of me wants to punch your sister as she pulled what another girl did to me in the most horrible way (only this one malicious) yet I know she was right for doing it.
I'm still in the midst of righting my fake picture wrongs. But it is so SO SO SO SO SO SO SO addicting to not be the fat girl. If just for a little while.
Last edited by Nebuchadnezzar; 10-19-2010 at 07:27 AM.
Funny i was just thinking to need a life. I'm 36 I have some friends, none live near me and I would like to live. I would suggest meetup dot com. Maybe join somethings, try and exercise class. Something I always think (but don't always practice is you're not going to meet anyone in the house) and like someone else said you are your biggest cheerleader.
