Dating...
 

Ever since graduating from college this whole dating thing has been incredibly difficult. I think that part of it is that in college we are all in the same boat. People have something in common, are in the same age group, are of similar education levels, have similar goals, and go to similar places. As I gained weight in college, though, I feel like it got harder to date. Is this reality or just in my head?

Los Angles isn't a very forgiving place. People are very concerned about their image and what other people think of them. I'm not like that by nature - I' m looking for substance...I find it hard to meet people though. I'm looking for someone smart and supportive, someone with ambition but not so much that they have no time to spend with me or friends. A partner, if that makes sense. Every time I go on a date with someone that goes moderately well to great and they don't call me I wonder if it's because they think I'm FAT. Is this in my head? Perhaps there is some other flaw that I'm too shallow to over look? It makes me feel bad to think about this, and to feel...well un-dateable. I find I allow myself to be set up on blind dates and often wonder if there should be an e-mail, a phone call, something, to warn him that I'm not one of those "skinny LA girls". I wish I could just be confident in myself. :?:

When I first started losing weight, I lost 25 pounds and felt that I looked great. I was happy, but wanted to do more. I've been someone stationary in my weight in terms of pounds for the past two years, but I can certainly see that by working out that fat has been someone *ahem* redistributed. Now I think I'm gross. Go figure. It's just hard. I'm struggling to get back on track - for me, not just some guy (even though the "some guy" would make life a little more interesting...)