Cow beats teenagers with Hairbrush - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

Bagzz · 07-26-2002, 03:14 PM

OKAY,SO I TOLE THEM ALL TODAY---IF ANYONE TAKES MY @#$@@@ HAIRBRUSH FROM THE @@#@@ BATHROOM AGAIN[WHEN I BUY A NEW ONE!!!!]I WILL WAIL THEM WITH IT LEAVING UNFASHIONABLE WELTS ALL OVER THEIR EXPOSED FLESH---OF WHICH THERE IS LOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-------before you report me for child abuse---remember,I am being elder-abused---i have had two showers in 24 hours and have brushed my hair with my fingers both times---I even had to go the theatre one of those times!!!!!

sosososososo----there were at least five brushes[two were mine] --there are five teen girls and now everyone looks at me like I have three heads when I inquire after a brush---SOSOSOS I GUESS YOU CAN TELL THAT I AM A LITTLE STRESSED

AND IF I AM LUCKY,YOU WILL FEEL SORRY FOR A FAT COW WITH MESSY HAIR WHO ATE THREEE CINNAMON BUNS FROM THE GRAND BAY BAKERY TODAY----PS---I HAVE A FAT COW FRIEND THAT I WANT YOU TO MEET ---HER NAME IS BIG COW---SO START MAKING WELCOMING NOISES TO HER

Cherry Cow · 07-26-2002, 08:06 PM

I wish I knew what to say Bagzie. My kids know not to touch my hairbrush under penalty of an extremely upset mom, but then, I don't have girls. (My brush is rare, expensive, and from Berlin, so that's why I can justify being selfish with it. It's not like I can run out and get another.)

Moo to Big Cow!

I'm depressed. Still 190. Still doing my Cathe tapes and running.

Had to cover terrible news at work today. A little girl disappeared from her dad's house this morning in St. Louis. 40 minutes later, the transient who sleeps on their couch shows up all wet and muddy from "a swim at the river." Some time this afternoon, the girl's body was found and the transient was arrested. I'm just sick about this. That poor little girl.

Bagzz · 07-27-2002, 08:27 AM

Poor cherry---I saw that story on cnn last night--i was having a hard time with the fact that the transient was 'sleeping over'---you try to be nice to people and when this is the lesson you learn---like the Smart Family---being so nice to the 'handyman'----it sure seems like every day there is another horrible abduction story.----do you live nearby???if so,on a lighter note,i will be very JEALOUS----- my favourite card maker and magazine girl MARY ENGLEBREIT lives in St.Louis!!!! do ya hang out with her!!!! ps---i was emailing my friend BIG COW today,and she may show up soon---so thanks for welcoming her with a MOOOOOOOOOOO----I see the other TANKS are too selfish to post a welcome--- I will try to have their BRUSHES stolen and replaced with COW PIES!!!!!!

SugP · 07-27-2002, 02:57 PM

I'm back on the other side of the continent in one piece. Jet lag has taken it's hold. Couldn't even remember which drawer was which in the kitchen.

Bagzie! Tell 'em you just found out you have head lice and I bet those brushes will be back in a hurry. My kids never brush their hair if they can help it, but they do run off with the scotch tape all the time. Art Attack and all that.

More later when I have come to my senses. Why is airline food so cr*appy?

Darling_Peaches · 07-28-2002, 10:15 PM

We had so much fun. She didn't bring her dh but we hung in there and made do with Herbie, ds, Kiwi, Kiwiette, Kiwiette-clone, Kiwi-sis, Kiwi-bil, Kiwi-sis-ettes. Is that clear? Here is the visit in detail which I get to report because she's not at a computer:

Herbie, ds and went to Kiwi-sis's fabulous house by the woods where we enjoyed pink lemonade and cheese/crackers and things Kiwi-sis grew and carrots which I would not touch since Kiwi-sis-ettes (ages 2 and 3 maybe) were double-dipping and otherwise recycling. They are all WAY NICE.

Then we all went to the sushi bar where ds and Kiwi-ette ate sushi and the rest of us ate normal stuff like fried rice and chicken .. and salad .. and soup ... and fried tofu appetizer ... and cream bouchette or something. Kiwi can spell it all later.

The Kiwi-sis clan went home as the little ones were chewing on the table and becoming upset. Herbie excused himself and Kiwi and I had a long talk in the lobby of the inn which is next door to the sushi bar. While we were doing this, our children felt creative, went outside and moved the public city (or federal) benches which were not nailed down. If they had been nailed down, they would have left them alone. This is a simple concept.

They are all charming. I am now going to take a shower and go to bed.

Bagz, ds ... like Cherry's children maybe ... is also perfect and does not touch hair brushes. In fact, neither he nor I brush our hair. We are very modern here in Dogpatch.

Wabby · 07-29-2002, 07:25 PM

I can't keep them around, I think there must be a big rat under my bathroom cabinet who brushes his rat fur with them. Either that, or my DD at the tender age of 22 is still lifting whatever she wants out of my bathroom.

Wow, Peaches and Kiwi, I'm jealous of your cow reunion. It's so lonely here on the west coast. Where are the pictures?

Cherry, that's so terrible. I heard about the abduction on the news. Sometimes I have to give myself a break from watching or listening to the news. It just gets too depressing. I couldn't imagine having to report on it.

A big cow welcome to Big Cow! Make yourself at home here, we're the sweetest bunch of bovines you'll find. Well, some of us are sweeter than others, because some of us are full of vinegar! Have fun figuring out who's who. Which reminds me, where has Lush been lately?

Welcome home, Sugar P. Is it good to be back? Everything fine on the home front?

Darling_Peaches · 07-30-2002, 05:57 AM

school starts here NEXT WEEK. I am exhausted just considering it.

SugP · 07-30-2002, 08:11 AM

Ds9 starts school THIS Thursday and my baby ds6 starts first grade on Saturday (don't ask - old German custom). I am totally unprepared. Our 8 (count 'em) suitcases have burped their contents all over the entire house and I'm knee deep in dirty laundry and souvenirs. I thought I cleaned the house before we left but I guess I was wrong. Time for FlyBat again.

It's 30 C again today. How am I supposed to get anything done? Darn summer.

Wabby · 07-30-2002, 12:06 PM

I loved the "burped their contents" line. That really sums it up, doesn't it?

I finally settled on a car. You will all know me now as the snoooty cow. We bought a 2000 Mercedes C280. It only has 2400 miles on it so its barely been driven. I got it from a private party for the same amount as a new Honda. This man bought it for his wife for their 35th anniversary, but she said he is so fanatical about it she gets a knot in her stomach every time she drives it. She said he started telling her to tell her friends to keep their feet on the mats and not to put their purse on the console. She said that was the last straw and she told him she wanted him to sell it. I just hope he never sees it after I get ahold of it because I plan on using it. The best part of the whole deal is that it has heated seats so my big fat cow butt won't get cold in the winter.

Nah nah na nah na. I don't have to worry about back to school anymore.

Lush · 07-31-2002, 11:58 AM

HI all,
summer is progressing. Congratulations on your car, Wabby. The best thing about that car is if you are in an accident. We just had a nasty one at a local intersection and the Mercedes people walked away from a collision that would have been a killer in most other cars.
I'm busy, kids are busy. I mean to stop by all the time, but I don't. All I do is drive. I can't wait until my DD drives. I spend hours of every day in my car. I should get a laptop for the car.
My kids don't start school until Sept 4 or 5. We've got a long time to go. That is fine with me. I've had to get up early all week and it is a drag.
Thank you for my post card, Sugar. I was excited to get it.
Still have nothing to say.
L

Kiwonk · 07-31-2002, 12:45 PM

So sorry to hear about your hair-raising misadventures, Bagzie. My hairbrush, unlike Cherry's, is cheap and easily replaced, but DD never touches it--I deliberately buy the kind she hates (pretty devious, huh?). This would be difficult with 5 girls lusting after your grooming devices, understandably. Maybe you could start using a fork.

What a sickening story about the poor girl, Cherry. We have had some experience with helping out strangers, but frankly, I wouldn't allow them in my house for anything. They can use my portable phone; I will even feed them, but sorry, no can do to come inside. We once gave a nearly frozen drunk man a ride to the hospital -- he was walking away from town, in nothing but jeans, a light windbreaker and sneakers on a very cold and snowy January night and would have stumbled onto our house in a few minutes, so we were more than glad to take him somewhere. He was almost incoherent and nearly climbed into DH's lap in the car. He was pretty freaked out and we thought he might go nuts if we took him to the police station, so we handed him over to the ER personnel. Fortunately they knew who he was.

Peaches is so nice to report our lovely evening together. I got a little confused at all the Kiwi hyphenates, but I'm sure she's right. My little nephews are 2 and 4, and they were admittedly a tad tired, having just gotten back from a week at the beach, so I'm not sure they were as cute as they might have been (but then you all know how cute they would be since they are my nephews...) Herbie is charming and lots of fun, Peaches and I got awesome backrubs from the restaurant owner. And we enjoyed much hilarity making fun of the adolescent behind the desk at the hotel. Discreetly, of course, we were quite respectable. I think.

No, Peaches doesn't need a hairbrush--her hair is naturally adorable. She's also rail thin and looks fab. Even after the Crème Brulée (what did you call it?)

Good heavens, Sug, how is that possible to have to start school so early? I feel like we just started summer vacation a few days ago. Well, girl, we are in the same boat -- I am going to have to do laundry all day today because DD is going camping tomorrow, then I'll have to tackle the house, which I definitely didn't clean before I left. Fortunately DH didn't cook anything while I was gone

DD and her friend (DD-clone) put on a concert for us at the beach the night before we left. Even my step-father was impressed.

Uh-oh, Wabbit's moving up in the world. Does this mean you are going to drive like you own the road? Can't tell you how many rude drivers I encountered on my road trip. One guy almost smashed into us in his haste to get that speed back up to 100 mph. I've noticed that the worst drivers drive the most expensive cars; does this mean anything? Personally I think that a lot of people now believe that their car is a joystick and they are playing a video racing game on the highway. It was such a relief to get back to podunk. Anyway, I am jealous of your new car. I think you should take a really long road trip. Maybe autumn in New England?

Hi Lush, I sympathize with your car bound-ness. I just got out of the car yesterday afternoon after driving about 3000 miles in 12 days. I don't want to get back in it for a long time.

I slept till noon today. It was rather delightful, except that I woke up a lot thinking "I can't believe DH swiped my pillows while I was out of town" and then went back to sleep.

Kiwi

Wabby · 07-31-2002, 01:07 PM

found a peanut, found a peanut right nowwwwww. Actually I found a sack of them. I've been trying to get my eating under control and then the guys here go off and leave me all alone with a huge sack o' peanuts.

No, I don't plan on being a road hog, Kiwi. I'm quite happy to let all the super aggressive drivers go first. The traffic here is getting horrendous, but at least we're not Seattle yet. It is truly scarey driving in that town.

Lush, your years of chauffering kids are almost over. Be careful what you wish for.

Hey, did I tell ya we went to the Oh Brother Were Art Thou concert? It was perfect weather, and the music was divine. Although since I don't ever go to concerts, I'm probably not the most experienced critic. I can tell it was a good concert because the music has been stuck in my head ever since. As soon as I get one song out, another creeps in and I hear it over and over and over. Man of Constant Sorrow can quite possibly drive a woman insane.

Kiwonk · 07-31-2002, 04:40 PM

Wow, the concert sounds wonderful. I haven't heard much of that music since I saw the movie; I may have to get the soundtrack... I did buy the soundtrack to the Ya-Yas movie, which was also produced by T-Bone Burnett. I happen to be a long-time fan of his. A lot of the songs in Ya-Yas were written by him and performed by someone else. Is that the same with Oh Brother? When I saw the movie, I thought all the songs were really old-time-y ones.

Ever have boiled peanuts? Weird. Very popular in the south.

Kiwi

Wabby · 07-31-2002, 05:24 PM

Yupp. It is almost all v-errry old time stuff. I didn't know that I loved that stuff, but I do. (Must be my Oakie heritage.) Emmy Lou Harris is unbelievably beautiful with her silver hair and silver voice. Allison Krause has the voice of an angel, and Roseanne Cash showed up - she wasn't on the billing. The evening ended with the the audience singing Amazing Grace along with the all the artists. It was spine tingling. Like an old time gospel tent revival. With no tent.

Boiled p-nuts? Nope, never had them, but I have heard of them. Those are for those southern chicks like Peachers.

Darling_Peaches · 07-31-2002, 06:06 PM

Once I sent Bagz some boiled peanuts. She put them right into her compost pile. She would rather eat seaweed.

Kiwi, the chillin were cute and had precious little sun-tanned feet. They made a fine impression and your sis and her dh made an even better impression as being wonderful patient parents.

I just paid a dentist $741 to put a new cap on a front tooth. Next day NEXXXXTTTT DAY my bridge in the back of my mouth fell out. Do you think he loosened it?