I drank about a litre of coffee this morning while I was waking up . . . am not feeling particularly motivated to do anything today and am ok with that :) but bcos I am used to the go go go go go! my guts are anxious like I need to be somewhere . . . but its Sunday! Day of rest! :)

Just having porridge w/ some frozen raspberries thrown in . . . love!

Oh tomorrow is meant to be the only day of the week I weigh in but ofcourse I got on this morn cos I was feeling particularly sveltey . . . it was not good. I will pretend that away and try again tmro. I am in the middle of TOM and had just finished all that coffee so it wasnt my wisest move.

Back away from the scales Danni!
I know that feeling, this morning I put on a pair of pants that I know don't fit me, but I thought as I've lost a bit of weight they might be abit less tight. Nope, it was still a struggle to get them on & I still looked like poop in them (stupid bloody pants, never buy clothers over the internet I tells ya).

I'll get there though.:smug:

Yes you will baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its interesting how my mind feels skinny this week. ha!

I have a confession.

I am avoiding a friend who is here from NYC . . . I havent seen her for YEARS and I am probably skinnier than the last time I saw her, but I know I am still not the way I want to be. I know this is silly but it is what it is. She ofcourse looks better than ever (facebook pics).

Oh well. Maybe this will sober me up and keep me heading towards my goal.

Isn't it sad how we do that? I have avoided so many people and events because I am ashamed of how fat I have gotten.

The silly thing is that I know if one of my friends felt this way I would think it was ridiculous . . . I dont care how my friends look! Ugh, but when its me its not as easy.

wow i'm not the only one that thinks that way!!! there is a mothers group bbq happening next week and i am so so fat since i last saw them and they have all had 2nd babies in the last 4 months and are looking fab..... and and and

i guess i'm a little ashamed at how i have "let myself go" too.....

today 30 mins on the cross trainer!!!

i have not done more than 15mins a time in the last at least 6 months i think i have been a total slackar$e made worse coz it is just sitting there in the back yard

oh that reminds me fitness first has a 6week membership for $99 i was thinking about doing - that would really help me lose 10kg by xmas

thanks for the tip amy on the jillian game - i want it bad but benji wont let me coz he thinks she used to be a man - i am going to have to get the personal trainer one sigh

dvd sounds easier - i wish foxtel had aerobics

bwhahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I dont think Jillian used to be a man. I met her in Sydney once and she looks like a real woman in real life!!! lol

ps. and seriously what is it about women who bounce back after having a baby like nothing happened at all???? My friends who have had kids are skinnier than ever . . . and here I am with no child at all so I think well what is my excuse??????? They have managed to drop kilo's while being mums. Ugh.

yummy mummies sigh sigh sigh
i was on the way to losing it when jem turned one but then went down hill with anxiety and depression etc - i'm not blaming that but i am sure it was a factor

you know the stupid bit about worrying what people will think of ourselves?? everyone is worried about THEMSELVES and dont give a hoot about what you look like.... your friend danni prob thinks she has a funny nose and that you are looking at it or something or if not there will be something and she wont even notice any weight you think is gross

oh that list of diets SO funny i think i have pretended to try most of them as well and funnier still i think i liked to combine them doing what i liked most at the time of the day

i weigh in tomorrow - TOM so i guess that could affect things, just my luck!

i have just made a heap of vege soup so i am going to be unstoppable, plan is to eat soup when i am hungry

vonni - how on earth did you get matt to move his trains??? and when gym set up i will come and visit and attempt to count reps for you

i am prob going to join gym for 6 weeks after the school holidays
http://www.jumpstartyourfitness.com.au/joinnow
seems like a good deal and not forever and i will use it coz i am paying for it and i will get to do bodypump which i LOVE

I am having all sorts of weird TOMness (as per usual) so am wondering if I should just stay off the scales tomorrow until my breasticles go down . . . ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Oh! On happy news, my brother just proposed to his gf so yay! Wedding!

I will be a string bean at the wedding even if I have to stop buying groceries. I have cousins who have been HORRIBLE to me in the past . . . so if I have to see these b.itchasses at the wedding it will be as a stick insect in a bridesmaids dress darn it! I am not above losing weight out of spite people! ;)

oh a wedding is a PERFECT reason to lose weight!!!! oh i love that reason.... just tell people you are doing it for yourself though.......

ok
ready!??

this week loss of ONE KILO, 1KG YEP YEP YEP look out i am back baby!

weigh yourself anyway danni - if you do weigh more than you want to blame TOM if you dont you will be pleasantly surprised and it will motivate you for this week... how much do you 'have' to lose each week to get your xmas challenge in the bag???

again me me me i lost 1kg!!! plan for today, cross trainer, maybe walk with dogs, sushi for lunch coz i bought it to have yesterday, soup for dinner, shake for brekky

Wow, so much going on here.

I had an interesting weekend. Had my sister and her baby down from Wellington and got to spend heaps of time with them which was great.

Friday night the boy told me something that he's been too scared to tell me since we met ... the ex girlfriend who he'd broken up with just a couple of weeks prior to meeting me is actually his ex wife.

He didn't want to scare me off so didn't tell me and then he couldn't figure out how to tell me hence why it's over 2 months down the track and I've only just found out. So that's been weighing heavily on my mind for the past few days.

I don't have a problem being with someone who's been married before but the fact that it's so recent really scares me. He's explained that while they'd only recently broken up things hadn't been good for a long time but it still freaks me out.

I don't want to break up with him over this because I do believe that we've got a good thing going but this is going to take a bit of getting used to.

Has anyone heard from Ani? If you're out there Ani, I hope everything's ok. I miss you! :hug:


:twirly:

I was just thinking about Ani this morning too.

I can understand your hesitation Julia - when he has spoken to you about the reasons for their marriage break up how does that resonate for you? Often you can feel the truth when someone speaks to you . . . sometimes people do make mistakes and get into marriages when they shouldnt. Go with your gut. If he is a good man, he may be worth it. But being on your own is better than being with the wrong one - I learned this the hard way the past year.

Kel - congrats on the 1kg baby!!!!

So I think I need to lose 0.6kg per week to make my Christmas goal. Ha! Oh who the **** knows. My TOM is all over the place at the best of times but it seems like I got the bloat last week, the actual TOM this week together with all the emotional c.rap and today I just feel like I am getting a cold or something. Just off. And everyon at work is pissing me off. I am a little ray of effing sunshine at the moment . . . .

I'm here - feeling like crap because I just can't seem to stop putting weight back on, and can't get my head right about it.

Somehow I have managed to gain about 6kg - I know some of it is fluid because I struggle to drink water - but still…

Anyway, I am definitely joining the Christmas Challenge. Gotta get ready for work, but I will have a think about the best way to do this. And I will start right NOW!

Today's goals are:

1. Come up with a new weight loss plan.

2. Count my calories.

3. Drink plenty of water.

4. Work out why!!!