| lalaw |
01-19-2008 12:07 PM |
This might get long. You know I like to talk. I suppose I'm writing more for me than anyone; although you're all welcome to read. I will admit that this whole things makes me a little nervous. My goals are a little different than some of you maybe. My weight has been a yo-yo my whole life. I really was never little (except for a period of time). I weighed 150 when I graduated high school. In college, I lost almost 50 pounds. My lowest was 103. When Mark and I got married in Oct. 91 I weighed 108. My wedding dress was a size 5. As the years progressed, I gained and gained. I weighed 149 when I got pregnant with Taylor. When I delivered Jordyn, I weighed 196 (and I only gained 13 pounds with her). Six and a half years ago, I went for my annual and I had my cholesterol checked and it was sky high. The doctor said to lose weight immediately. I was about 184 at the time. I did what she said and lost 43 pounds. My lowest at that point was 141. I felt great. For the past 6 years I have yo-yoed. I got up to 160 a couple of years ago and then lost everything again- only to see 141. I seem to teeter now between 145 and 150 (although I did weigh 153 on Jan. 2 of this year). So........ My goal is to see the 130's. I put 139 as my goal weight. Could I lose 20 or 25 pounds. Absolutely!!! I've done it before. I just don't think realistically that I can pull that weight off for a lifetime. I truly think 150 is my thing although I'd be happy if 140 was my thing. HEE HEE Mark is not thrilled that I am doing this. He'll support me, but he is happy and has always been happy with the way I am. I am so thankful to have a husband that has NEVER judged me on my weight. He has never said anything even when I weighed 196 and was as round as I was tall. I don't like to fail at things and this is something that I just don't know if I can win. I get very hard on myself and I don't think he wants to deal with me in that regard. Exercise is NOT the problem. I have worked out 5-6 days a week for 45 minutes to an hour for 6 1/2 years. It's my eating. I am a binge eater. I love food and I love to eat. Unfortunately for me, I'm not a big fresh fruits and vegetable type person. I like the normal apples, bananas and strawberries. I'll eat corn and green beans from a can. That's about it. Oh- and I don't care for salad. I'll eat it a side salad at a restaurant before my meal but I would never order one as a meal. Oh and I don't care for grilled chicken. So.................... bit problem for a person who is trying to lose weight. I have been dealing with my gluttony problem for years and I have been in intense prayer with God on this. Obviously, I'm not going to win the big money. I know.....you never know. But I'm not in this for the money. I'm more in this for learning how to portion my meals and to keep my mouth shut the rest of the time (from snacking that is- not talking-:) :) :)) I also need to do this for Jordyn. Her eating habits are just like mine and that scares me to death. I don't want her to have to deal with this forever like I have. So........that's my story girls. You will all by in my prayers EVERYDAY!!!!
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