Another day and I haven't got my head right…

OK! I'm going to walk this morning and spend an hour or so doing domestics. My housemate is going away for a 4-day weekend on Friday - and I am hanging out for that. Hopefully she will be moving out in the next two weeks!!!

In the meantime I want to set myself some exercise challenges, and especially to get back into the habit of walking every day. That, more than anything else, seems to be the thing that determines how successful I am with my weight loss.

:)
Ani

OK Here goes.

Chips and chocolate I have just discovered are NOT my friends. I have been treating them as my BEST friends and they have only served the purpose of destroying my confidence in this struggle with weight loss.

I have put on half of what I have lost since Feb.

I have become a couch potato. I sit mon my arse all day and have my nose in books or on the tv. The only exercise I get is housework (and thats minimal) and walking around the shops. I have officially become a sloth. I am sitting here STILL in my jammies and it is lunchtime. My hair is unbrushed, and because I seem to have lost the time for my friends, I feel no need to brush it cause noone is going to be knocking on my door for coffee.

I eat crap all day and never eat regular meals. Except for evening meal, and thats only because I HAVE to feed everyone else in this family.

I have been thinking of getting back on my tablets for a month or two. To kickstart my energy and curb my hunger. Though I need to emotionally get a grip on the hunger thing. I eat because I am lonley, bored, sad and frustrated with life and people. At the moment I get annoyed at people who are so selfish they can not see the benefit of my career goals. Then on the other hand I feel that I am being selfish in not understanding why they feel that way.

My kids are being so naughty I am ready to put a for sale sign on their foreheads and sit them on the fence post. My son as ODD, ADHD and Tourettes. And tells his father and grandfather that he gets beaten up by my BF (just to get attention) then laughs about the lies when we confont him about it. I feel sometimes I am too lenient on him, yet when tough I have to reign myself in and understand him. His natural father doesn't seem to give a care and won't support me in any decisions or give him his medication when he is there for the weekend. he doesn't even get up him for his lies, just says stop in a blase tone. My son's having a hard time at school and I can't get to see the teachers with bub and when the other half gets home I feel I have to BE here for him.

The 7yr old is wetting the bed at least 3 nights a week. I thought was an emotional thing but watching her it is a DEEP sleep thing. She just can't wake herself up. So I am exhausted washing sheets all the time also.

Anyhow, I just had to vent. I feel better now. heehee

Vonni

Vonni, ask your doc about the wetting bed thing - there is some alarm you can get that you put a sensor on the bed which goes off if they start to wet it - might save some sheets!

Oh Vonni

I'm glad you came and vented :hug:

It's certainly not an easy journey is it. That's a shame that you've gained back half of what you lost but hey, at least you're recognising it and are able to put a stop to that now. Half is better than gaining it all back :dizzy:

This is a battle that we can win and coming here to get some support is a really positive step to be taking.

Let us know if there's anything that anyone here can do to help you. We're all in this together.

Keep on keeping on :twirly:

Julia, I can't believe you ran that much! Congrats, that's AMAZING!!

Very happy that the physio told me today I'm not allowed to run with the achilles injury, or skip or jump. He wants me to stick to the cycle, elliptical, weights. Got some ultrasound therapy, so the foot feels great for now.

Hit the gym again last night but just did weights and some light cardio. Tonight is my cardio night so I'll do 60 minutes of whatever I feel like when I get there :)

Off to get my eyes tested this afternoon and I can't wait. I'm positive that I need glasses and it'll be great to get the ball rolling on that.

gosh i feel like a slack arse.
i have no excuse to be not losing at least a little bit of weight....
jemima may make interesting but not impossible, she does not tell me to eat crap, and she likes our walks and there is nothing stopping me hoppingon the cross trainer when she goes to bed......

still 89.5 HEAPS better than yesterday's sneak weighin of 90!!! oops!

vonni how old is your son who is being naughty? poor you with 7 yearold bedwetter, i cant remember when i stopped but i am sure i didnt do it on purpose, wonder what makes kids do it...

the teeth in my babies mouth are SO SO close and she is SO SO grissly, makes me want a break big time.... got in huge fight with mum last night as she wants to look after her but whenever i say she is all yours the fact that i am there makes her not want to do it for herself, too scared of doing it wrong but she says if i wasnt there she would be fine.... very frustrating as i have told her there is no wrong! and that as long as she doesnt cut her eyelashes its all good...... the fight may have been more aboutthe way i was talking to her not what i was saying, i am very frustrated at the moment as it seems that i am the ONLY one that can look after jemima??? is she the first baby in the world?? i think not...

My housemate is going away for a long-weekend tomorrow. That means I get some wonderful solitude in 22 hours and 44 minutes from now!

Not that I'm counting :).

You'll be able to dance around the house naked Ani!

:)

Ha ha Julia - the neighbours would be thrilled if I did that - not :o

Nine hours to go, and hopefully I'll be asleep for most of them!

I've been good today. I walked for an hour, drank 2.4L of water and ate 1600 calories. I'm still not allowed to do weights or anything else - not even situps - so have to be a bit careful. But at least I feel like I'm on track, and motivated to keep going.

:)
Ani

Morning ladies

I skipped the gym last night and went walking with a friend instead which was lovely. Shame it's still dark pretty early though. I'm looking forward to summer when it's light much longer and I can go for nice long walks in the evenings.

I'm having an off day in terms of exercise today. I'm off to a quiz night tonight with some of the girls from work and am looking forward to that. We're going out for dinner first - Chinese, and the restaurant we're going to is known for their dumplings :T but I'm going to have to stick to the noodle soup.

Will hit the gym again tomorrow and do some weights. Oh joy :dizzy:

I had a good day at the gym yesterday.. SOOOOOOOO couldn't be bothered going, and the PT was sick and cancelled on me, which seemed like a message from god (!), but I dragged myself there anyhow.. managed 20 mins elliptical, 25 mins treadmill fast walk, then 30 mins of my weight circuit. Burned about 600 cals.

Did a spin class the other night and only burned 357 cals!! Must have been slacking off, since my arse was SO sore from the seat. Oh my god, how do the other people stand it? Felt like my gonads were bruised for 2 days afterwards! Actually thought I was going to have to leave the class as my bits hurt so much haha!!

Anyhow.. going to try some of the classes and see what I burn, because the elliptical is incredibly boring, and the TVs at the gym require some radio attachment to my ipod, so I can't hear them. Boring!

Ah - the joys of solitude! I got so carried away with my freedom that I forgot to drop in here this morning and report my progress. Whoops!

Anyway, I have walked for an hour today and am sticking to my calories. I've already drunk 1.5L of water too.

Tonight I'm off to the Perth premiere of Cirque du Soleil's Varekai – made even more exciting because I have free tickets :carrot:

Tomorrow we are expecting a heatwave - well, 25ºC - so I'm planning to spend the whole day outdoors. I'm going to go for a long walk, and then potter in the garden for the rest of the day.

I don't know if I will lose any weight this week or not. But it doesn't actually matter. What DOES matter is that I have found my motivation again, and I am making better choices.

Hope everyone else is travelling OK.

:)
Ani

Ani, I went to Varekai in January and really enjoyed it. You'll have a great time :)

Well, last night I went out for dinner with the girls from work before our quiz night. I did well and ate sensibly but once we got to the quiz and there were lollies on our table I folded and ate about 15. Oh well.

The quiz was hard and we got 17th out of 30-something but it was a fun night. Our worst subjects were geography and New Zealand ... we are all travel agents. How bad is that! :o

Will do some sort of exercise today. If the weather stays how it is now I'll be off to the gym but if it warms up as per the forecast I'll go for a walk up on the hills.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.
:twirly:

Ha ha Julia - remind me never to book at holiday with you. I might end up in Siberia :p.

Varekai was fantastic. It was the premiere, so all the A-list was there. Vonni where are you? I wanted to tell you that half of this year's Big Brother housemates were there … having their 15 minutes on everyone's 'opening night' list!

You'll be proud of me - I went to the A-List after party and resisted ALL the yummy food platters AND the free-flowing alcohol.

OK - today! I'm about to go to the stupidmarket, and then go for my walk. I'm planning a day of domestics, gardening and football!

Have a good weekend everyone.

:)
Ani

Wow Ani, that's some pretty impressive willpower to resist all those free nibbles and drinks. Well done you :cp:

I had a good weekend. Did another big run at the gym on Saturday and went for a 1 hour walk yesterday.

This morning I got up to go to the gym, drove into town and parked only to realise that I'd left my uniform at home :dz: so home I toddled, got my uniform and came back to town, parked again and went to the gym. Luckily I don't live all that far from town but still, it was a pain.

Did my weights and 40 minutes cardio this morning and now I'm tuckered out.

:twirly:

In spite of doing everything right, I seem to have gained another 0.3kg.

The past week I have averaged 1600 calories/day, walked an hour every day, and I drank 2L water/day… and I GAINED weight.

Something seems to be blocking me from getting to, and beyond, the dreaded 85kg milestone. This week's challenge is to try and work out what that is.

I suppose it's possible that I've gained a little bit of muscle since starting up my regular walking again - but surely it wouldn't be that much! Oh who knows!!!

Anyway, I'll be back later - I have a meeting on the other side of Perth shortly (almost 1.5hrs away) and I'm still in my pyjamas.

Yes, it seems so unfair that some people don't worry about weight and never change, no matter what. Whereas if I even THINK about eating rubbish, I gain. If I miss the gym or walking a day or two, I gain.

It gets tiring having to be SO good ALL the time... sigh.

I thought I should drop by and say hello.

I am resolving (yet again) to be good. This means sticking to 1600cal/day, with lots of fruit and veg, and other 'healthy' stuff like that.

Avoiding all sugary drinks and sweets, including chocolate :(

I do have to talk myself back into going to the gym. It seems like such a hurdle to get into my gym clothes and get down there, but I really should.

Wow Ani! Varekai must have been beautiful.

I had two Chinese girls stay with me for a few weeks, and it was lovely. I miss them so much now they've gone. I spent three weeks eating noodles and other tasty Chinese food. It was pretty healthy though. Not all that deep fried stuff you find in the food court.

I'll come by more often, I promise.

Kylie

Welcome back Kylie :D I've been wondering where everyone has gone!

I am so tired at the moment. Last night I went to bed at 8:30 and I slept solidly until 6 this morning when I very reluctantly dragged myself out of bed and to the gym. Glad I did though because I got my 60 minutes of cardio done and now I don't have to think about it again until tomorrow!

I totally agree with you Gen, it's so hard to have to concentrate on "being good" all the time, especially when you see other people who don't seem to need to make any effort to stay slim.

I know that thin doesn't necessarily = healthy but still, I'd love to be able to eat fish n chips without knowing that I'll be destroying a lot of hard work.

Ah well. Keep on keeping on.
:twirly:

Ebony-Grace had her paediatric visit yesterday. The results of her EEG have been waylaid grrrrrr!!!! But he seems to think that it is nothing to concerning, just little "brain collapses" as he put it that she will grow out of. I'd like to know the technical term if there is one lol.

I have been referred to a sleep centre in Brisbane to help us teach her how to sleep. I am getting more exhausted by the day.

No news on my weight loss. It is the same this week as last week and the weeks before that.

Ani how exciting to see Varekai. I'm sure we are all jealous. Oh to get out and DO something.

Welcome back Kylie. Haven't seen u in ages. I've been pretty quiet too, but I am lurking, just some days don't feel like posting, or having much to say. Which isn't like me at all. heehee.

Ok bub asleep at the moment so I gotta go study. I have an assignment due soon. I have decided on Macular Degeneration for all of you who heard me ranting the other week. To many people are doing dementia and I think it will be graded differently because of the varying standards of other peoples work. I havent heard anyone doing MD yet.

Cheers
Vonni xxx

Good choice, lots of psychological issues of "loss of control" and "self determination" with loss of eyesight, as well as social issues with requiring assistance etc.

i am so over weightloss
i am so ready to go on optifast and if i lose my milk for jemima then so be it i put her on the bottle.....
i was thinking a halfarsed attempt at optifast will produce the same results as full on hardcore proper diet/exercise i've been not doing these last couple of weeks.
saw photos of myself at a wedding and 21st in the last 2 weeks and who is that fat girl??? ohhh right THATS ME

I hate it when you lose weight and nobody notices.
I always think, if i am still this fat now HOW fat was i before???
i am going to try and put new photo on this thing as motivation for me to lose the spare tyre around my belly i did get my hair done though and it looks ok.....

happy wednesday everyone

Kel that's a lovely photo of you :) I know what you mean about people not noticing your weight loss. I'm down 8kg and some people haven't said a thing. How can it not be noticable!?!? My guess is that people notice but they just don't say anything.

Today I'm picking up my brand new glasses and I'm so excited at the prospect of being able to see!

No gym today as mum's gone away for a couple of days and I'm in charge of walking the dog in her absence. The challenge will be to do a full hour walk rather than just a quick one.

At least it's beginning to stay light for longer in the evenings so walking isn't so bad.

:twirly:

Come on Kel - fight it! I'm feeling pretty over it myself, and am in the biggest battle with my own head - because I just seem to have become bored, or lost sight of the big picture. I don't know - but these are dangerous times.

What can we do?

I know that I don't want to get any bigger than I am right now.

I know that I am bored or tired with having to work so hard.

I know that I've lost no weight in the last month.

Ever since my fractured vertebrae was diagnosed I've lost enthusiasm for walking every day, and it has become a struggle to exercise. It isn't that I can't physically do it… it's just harder to motivate myself.

Will someone slap me?

:)
Ani

totally BORED that explains me too ani, totally over it.... i want to say it is harder for me because i did this already last year, i did optifast and shed 15kg real quick and i guess i'm just sooky that it is not fair i cant do it again, i am terrified of losing my milk if i go on optifast but right now willing to take that risk
i just DONT WANT TO have to think about it anymore, cant be bothered walking, cant be bothered going out to the cross trainer cant be bothered caring about what i eat and so eat whatever i want whenever i want
i guess i may put on weight this week and i will most likely see that number 90 again and maybe that will be the slap in the face i need

i'm basically being a baby and want the easy way out..... it has become worse with me finally seeing photos of myself.... the last six months i have taken photos of the baby but noone has had a reason to take ones of me, not since 3/4ish month pixie photos NOW i see how bad i have gotten

motivation is kinda lost as i dont feel in control.... i think i thought at 6 months jemima would start eating food, i would drop a couple of feeds maybe get pregnant real quick (though i still may not get my cycle back for ages while i do any breastfeeding) then maintain weight or something, or i think i thought i would have lost more by now......

ani you need a flatmate that is into weightloss so you can spur eachother on maybe advertise for flatmate at a gym or weightloss centre or something

vonni - how you travelling with your kids? and study? and everything!? you really are a hero

julia - you have lost so much weight so quickly, i really think you rock, i feel like i am about to start again, but dont want to write everything down or hop on calorie king or pay someone to make me meals (liteneasy or whateva) so it is up to me to exercise and drink some water for starters

i am going to have to make ONE goal and stick to it for a whole week, i think i will go with water and wash away some of this fat

here we go ..... since i've been drinking none i will go with 1.5L per day for the first week.

ani we can do it, gosh you should know look how awesome you have already been! why dont you drink some water too..... maybe i'll use you as motivation... i see your 86.2kg and i am coming to beat you to 80!

Ani... *slap* :D

I remember reading your posts everyday thinking, "She went walking -again-??...Ani really loves it" or something like that. Maybe it's your chance to do some more exploring around your area...surely you haven't explored every nook, cranny and path?

Kel, I know we haven't really got to know each other very well, but keep your chin up, love. It can be really demotivating when you see how awful you think you look (did that make sense? as in, you don't look awful but you think you do?) ANYWAY.... I was thinking of taking a photo of my grosso body, and putting a pic of Beyonce next to it...ha! There's my motivation! That and I'm sick of feeling self concious around bf. I never used to be, but suddenly I'm terribly aware of what he must see. Especially when he says I look good.

Vonni - hi back to you! Good luck with your assignments. My first round are out of the way, just need to catch up on readings etc. Hope bubs is doing better... Brain Collapses??? Usually the technical name is scarier lol.

Julia, how do you manage to get up for the gym every morning?

I'm off, stuff to do, but it is so nice to be catching up with you all again.

i have someone watching over me I MUST
as i weighed in today and thought here we go, it is my own fault, bring it on and fix it but
89.5KG

THANK GOODNESS
i dont get a dancing carrot party for that BUT i get to think to myself.... that was a fluke..... lets not screw it up
lets do it

Well so much for taking the dog for a long walk. Yesterday I only took her for a 20 minute walk and today it was 30 minutes. Better than nothing but compared to what I was doing, it's pretty pathetic.

I don't know how I manage to drag myself out of bed and to the gym in the mornings but I feel great when I do it. It's so nice to have it over and done with and to not have to think about it for the rest of the day.

The key for me is to not think about exercising because if I do, I feel like I can't be bothered and I start making excuses not to. I guess that's why it's good to go to the gym first thing in the morning.

The one thing that's been absolutely key for me is to record everything in my training diary. If I eat it, it gets written down and that's what keeps me honest. I'm still following weight watchers points and by writing everything down, it's easy to see whether I'm staying on track or not.

I'm feeling the same as you all are at the moment, sick to death of dieting and having to think constantly about eating and exercising. However, I've made good progress so far and I'm determined not to see all that hard work go to waste.

Keep up the effort ladies, we can do this.

OK - thanks for the slap Kylie, and for the encouragement from everyone. I've decided that the only way I can do this is to report in here every day with what I've done (and that includes confessing my bad days as well as the good ones :) ).

My housemate moves out on Saturday, and I have an ad going in the paper to try and find another one. *Sigh!*.

I can report that I have walked for an hour today and consumed 1.5L of water. I've eaten pretty well too, so I'm confident of being able to give today a big tick.

I'll report in again tomorrow and let you know how it's all going.

:)
Ani

Hey Vonni~

Just found this article in the current Australian Healthy Food Guide, about MD.

" Eating a diet with a hight GI may increase your risk of developing advanced age-related macular degeneration (AMD). AMD affects the central part of the retina (macula), leaving sufferers with only limited sight ... Analysis of dta from more than 4000 men and women with varying degrees of AMD found consuimg a high-GI diet resulted in a 49 percent increase in advanced AMD risk. These results suggest the type of dmage produced by poor-quality carbohydrates on eye tissue may be similar in both diabetic eye disease and AMD.

While additional studies are needed before dietary carbohydrate management is used as a prevention strategy for AMD, including more low GI-foods in your diet will still manage blood sugars..."

Source quoted as : Am J Clin Nutr 2007;86:180-188.

Might help

PS Sorry for the typos I typed it straight off the page :D

Ok - so I just got creative in the kitchen making tomorrows lunch. Question: is this dip healthy? I think so. I hope so... :D

I avocado
1/2 tomato
1 tiny tin 4 bean mix, drained
lemon juice, salt, pepper

Smash, mash, mix, beat, blend, beat, puree until smooth.

The end. It made heaps, I'm going to eat it with celery and carrot (my new favourite snack).

When I am not sure if something is healthy or not.... and i want to eat it.... I always kinda justify it by comparing it to something else heaps worse.... not really a BRILLIANT idea but works as if you eat it without feeling guilty you wont find the need to be NAUGHTY and over do it.

Oh yeah THANKS heaps for all the support and motivation, I hate needing it... I am never usually like this.... I am just living cluttered at the moment and the weather is weird and I am supposed to be feeding Jemima solids now and that is such a messy waste of time at the moment everything just seems too hard, so I go out and leave the mess at home and then come home and relax with Jemima so no housework or exercise (or baby development) is really happening.....
i want to say it will be all good when the new kitchen is in and I think the guy has started building it so once that happens there will be no excuse.....

Kylie that dip sounds pretty good to me :T

Ani, great to see you sounding positive again. I'm sure it'll make a huge difference when your current flattie moves out. Here's hoping that the next one works out :crossed:

I'm going for a long walk with a friend tomorrow so looking forward to that. Hope you all have a lovely weekend.

:twirly:

My flatmate "thinks" she's moving out this afternoon, but she isn't sure. How lovely to be able to live in utter chaos and remain oblivious to it.

Anyway, my goals for today are:

• Walk for an hour;

• Drink 1.5L of water;

• Eat no more than 1650 calories;

• Plan my meals; and

• Write it all down.

Kylie I don't claim any expertise, but your dip sounds yummy.

Come on Kel - you're below 90kg. And you're not going to win that race to 80kg with me if you don't pay more attention to what you're doing ;)

Julia I love long walks - hope you really enjoy it tomorrow.

:)
Ani

Vonni and Gen - where the bloody **** are you?

:p

I'm here, just don't have anything helpful to contribute ... just ate some cadbury snack choc. I did do weights yesterday - had upped my weight and I'm sore today!

Hey Gen, are you losing weight at the moment? I know how tough it is to find the way back after moving and drastically changing your routine.

Don't lose heart, you've done so well up to now. And I don't agree that you have nothing to contribute - your knowledge and experience is a wonderful asset around here.

I take the view that this place is even more important when things are going pear-shaped. I'm expecting to post another gain on Monday, but I'll toddle in here and report in - even though I HATE it. But I've been eating too much, exercising too little … and still expecting the scale to drop. Pfft!

Anyway, yesterday was good. I walked for an hour, ate 1560 calories, and drank 2L of water. And most importantly I waved goodbye to the departing housemate :dizzy:

I've set myself a challenge: I want to lose 5kg during Spring (which starts in a week). Does anyone want to join me?

I'm not quitting, or making any more excuses for myself.

I have to do some work over the weekend, but today's goals are:

• Walk for an hour;

• Plan meals and eat no more than 1600 calories;

• Drink 1.5L of water; and

• Do a couple of hours of domestics.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

:)
Ani

I guess if i am going to beat you to 80kg then losing 5kg during spring would be a good start!
BRING IT ON!!!!!!!
we can do it no worries

does anyone else's routine totally go out the window when the weekend comes? how do you stop it from happening?

No, I don't think I'm losing weight, although I haven't unpacked my scales yet - and I don't think I want to! I know by my clothes that I've gained weight though - I'd guess I'm back at 94-95 just by the clothes :(

Partly it's the routine change, not having my own space, having the parents cooking for me etc. Part of it is not working and just sitting around on my arse. I think part is that I'm up to almost 6 months not smoking, and I think my weight loss slowed right around when I stopped and my appetite increased. Part of it, I stopped tracking my exercise and food obsessively, have stopped planning my meals as I am not in control of the house anymore!! Part of it is feeling yuk, so I eat to make myself feel better... we all know how that goes. Actually at the moment, it's actually bingeing almost.. if I've had a good day, I just have an overwhelming urge to eat rubbish. I know I should resist and all that, but it's physically overpowering, and I get in the car and buy rubbish and eat it all, then feel sick, and promise myself I won't do it again... and then the next time rolls along.

Sigh.

I am just **** scared at the moment that I will gain back everything I've lost.

Apart from that, I'm great. Haha. I'll get the scales out Sunday, and check in with my current weight, write out my weekly plan tomorrow and start again on Monday. I have been going to the gym, so I'll keep that up.