mandalinn~ I just wanted to say I think it's an absolute shame that your partner's mother is acting the way she is. Obviously this is not just a "gay thing" - regardless of being gay or straight or WHATEVER you two LOVE each other... isn't that what it's supposed to be about????

Love your dresses too btw ;)

Jill~ I've been married before and so has my FH. I would love for my family to actually give a crap and want to come to any wedding of mine, but unfortunately that's just not the case (When I married in 2002 I asked my mother to come and at first she said "no" because she hates flying this far and "what about terrorists?" ). The story is long and, well, I don't want to bore you or drive any of you away from me so I'll leave it at that :D

In any case, we live in the Netherlands, so Croatia and Greece are not that far away, but still bring romantic images to the mind :) We are going to Rhodos for summer holiday this year (with the kids) and in October we are going to Croatia (Dubrovnik) to see what we think of the place. After both trips we'll decide where to go...

Our date depends on when the kids have school vacation ~ on the one hand I hate having to plan around that, on the other hand it's REALLY important that they are there. I only worry that it's real close to their mum's birthday and I don't want to take anything away from their own mother's special day. We just have to cross that bridge when we get there. Luckily we have a great relationship with her and she'll most likely have no issue with the date.

Jill, your "rehearsal dinner" can actually be as many or little people as you want. I think the biggest thing brides come up against is fitting into a sort of traditional mold. You need to do what is best for you and Jeff. After all, it's the two of you getting married, not anyone else :)

Jill,
I had a pre wedding dinner at Clyde's in Chevy Chase. That place is awesome. It wasn't a rehearsal dinner but it was basically a get together dinner for my family members that flew in for the wedding and DH's parents. I really enjoyed it since even though my wedding was small, I didn't spend most of my time with my immediate family but rather the family/friends who came to the reception.

I really just thought of it as a pre wedding dinner to get together with those that I wanted to spend a little more time with. If that makes sense. I really appreciated having the chance to do it. So you can make it your own and call it what you like or you can omit it entirely.

a "pre-wedding" dinner sounds great actually :) if you are not going the traditional route it's still nice to share your "last" dinner as a single person with the ones you love most. We are most likely going to go away for 5 days min and share this dinner with the 4 of us (me, R and the kids). I'm really looking forward to it and I know for sure my step-daughter is really going to love the whole ritual of all of it, as non-traditional as it will be (my step-son as well, but, you know, we girls will definitely do the "girly" thing for the wedding...)

My "rehearsal dinner" is actually coming an hour after the actual rehearsal which will be quick, and like Nelie said, I'm using it to spend more time with the people who came in from out of town or who I won't be able to spend as much time with at the wedding. Well, specifically I'm using it to get a little baby time in with Julia, the 5 month old I haven't yet met who is part of my extended family...baby time! However, the invite list can get out of hand, as evidenced by our soiree, for which people were given "courtesy" invites when Sarah's dad thought they wouldn't make it, and now they are all coming...so the rehearsal dinner is consisting of just under half of our guests :-). Ah well, it'll be fun to get together with everyone.

I'm getting married in November...and setting the date is about all I've gotten done. (Aside from choosing the groom, naturally.) The biggest thing that has me worried is the dress...I want to wait until I'm slimmer to really go shopping for one, but everyone says you need to order the dress six months ahead of time. I've been putting it off with the "Oh, I'm far too busy, I'm graduating in May and saved all my hard classes for the very end!" excuse, but I worry I'll still be dragging my heels after finals because I won't feel skinny enough. I wouldn't be so worried about the time, except that I'm very, very picky about clothing...I browse on the internet, and all I can do is point out everything that's wrong with every dress I see. *sigh*

Anyway, congrats, everyone!

Newbie here! I got engaged about a month ago but I've been with the boy for 6 years now. We are planning to wed in May of 08 but are thinking of possibly moving it up to March of 08 instead. I can't decide! lol I'm on Medifast and intend on losing quite a bit before I even think of dress shopping, but I can't wait!!

Congrats to the rest of you! What an exciting thing to get to chat about!

I ordered my dress in a size 18, because I wanted to get it squared away. You can get the dress taken in a LOT if you find a specialist. My lady is fabulous, she specializes in refurbishment of vintage gowns for modern wearers, so she is well used to doing major size changes. My dress went from an 18W down to a 10/12 with absolutely no problems, so you may have to sink some extra money into your seamstressing, but don't put it off just because you have more weight to lose! You'll get a secret thrill every time your seamstress tells you she has to take it in more, and that alone is worth the extra money you'll spend on reconstructing the dress to match your new size.

Yay new brides! Ya'll will be able to keep the thread going long after I'm back from the honeymoon.

I just checked The Knot (by the way, people, The Knot is fabulous - message boards to get recommendations on vendors in your area, vendor search features, and interactive guest list / to-do list / budget planning tools. These were SO helpful to me. I found all of my best vendors by cruising the knot boards looking for recommendations...I even found a whole group of brides who had done their weddings at the same location that I am using, sharing ideas that are specific to the space. Its amazing and can help you find people to make your day special...most already-marrieds on there have profiles, too, with their vendor's work. So for example, if you have a bakery in mind, if you can find a Knottie who got married a few months ago and used the bakery, you can see their pictures of how the cake turned out, as well as their ratings of the vendors. And the checklist is oh so helpful.). My to-do list just reminded me that I have only 11 days to go!!!!!

Oh, and the arch my daddy is building for us makes me cry every time I think about it. He is welding it just for me on his days off, and its going to be so beautiful...my mom is sewing the fabric to cover it, and he is doing all of the welding to make it magical for us. I saw it for the first time this weekend and I am SO EXCITED.

An interesting thing happened to me when I was having lunch with one of my dearest and oldest friends.

I was talking about how I still want to lose some more weight. (Some people are of the opinion that I should just stop where I am) She smiled, said I looked great, then asked if I wanted to lose more weight to look slim on my wedding day.

I instantly replied, "no." Then I had to think about why that was my gut reaction. It really comes down to wanting to be more slim and fit, just for life. Sure, I would be happy to feel like a perfect 10, thin lady on my wedding day. But I realize that my husband to be finds me gorgeous, and I like me.

That feels good.

Christine - wow! What a great realization. I had to zen out over my weight loss as we approached - life happens, and I'm not just plowing toward a single goal for a single day - I am working toward my goals for the rest of my life, and wherever I am on my wedding day isn't the end-all be-all of my goals.

Way to go on being so positive!

Hello to the new ladies (and gent)! :wave:

Lori – I think we might be living in parallel universes. My df and I will be celebrating our 6 year anniversary on April 27, we’ve been engaged for a bit over a month and we’re getting married May 25, 2008. :dizzy:

I’m also thinking of weight loss as a long-term/lifestyle project. After all, I lost the weight I did last year before I was engaged, and I'll be working on this long into married life. However the engagement has kick started my efforts again, I needed a kick in the pants!

We did some reception site searching yesterday, because my #1 choice is booked already! :cry: After looking around a bit I realized that I really wanted the Memorial Union for a number of reasons (on the lake, nostalgic factor, price) but alas, they actually kind of chuckled when we asked about our date. Apparently, for holiday weekends (It’ll be Memorial Day) if you don’t put your request in 18 months in advance you don’t stand a chance in ****. We like the Monona Terrace as well, but it will be a LOT more expensive. I’m just not sure what to do now. I hate to throw up my hands and just plan a traditional hotel reception, but I just don’t know what else to do? :?:

On an unrelated note, we are supposed to get 7 inches of snow by tomorrow. Where is this Spring I've been hearing so much about?

My doctor asked me the same thing. "Are you dieting just for the wedding?" I wanted to slap him and say "Yes, and I'm hoping to gain it all back the day after"... :dizzy: give me a break! Yes, the wedding is part of the reason I started a new diet but why is that a bad thing? I could see it being bad if it were the only reason I was trying to get fit.

Shananigans - we actually picked out date, based on availability of the church and the reception site. I had originally wanted October, but figured September 29th was close enough.

Any chance you could change your date?
Cindy

We picked the date based on the availability of the ceremony site and the general timeframe we already had in mind. The site is only available every other weekend, so 2 weeks earlier and you risk it being too cold, and 2 weeks later lands you on June 8, and for some reason Jason has it in his head that he does not want the wedding in June. It is statistically the month with more rain, but trying to pick a day it will not rain over a year in advance is always a gamble anyway I say. Also, with the ceremony being on a Sunday, having the following Monday be a holiday will likely be more convenient for lots of folks since almost everyone is coming from out of town. I may check the availability of the Union for June 8 anyway, if it’s available I’ll see if df can’t be swayed. If that means a bit fewer out-of-towners I don’t really mind so much.

Thanks for the warm welcome....yes 3 months is going to go very fast. We are actually approaching the day that we got engaged, April 14th, her birthday. We began wanting something as simple as possible, but we have very active social lives and pretty good sized famlies, so we are now inviting over 350...yes, a little more than what we originally thought. Oh well, it should be fun. We've worked very hard to save a lot of money and are very excited.

In terms of planning....I would say I am fairly involved. I am good at getting things done that don't involve the style of the wedding. For instance, she has been riding solo making the invites, but I've booked the photographer, arranged the meetings with our pastor, contacted the wedding coordinator at the church, the pastor and am doing some of the daily phone call things that she can't do as a teacher.

Last night we sat down and figured out our vows and our exchanging of the rings routine, and started to nail down some of the music for the ceremony. It's starting to come together....

But I can sense what your man is saying, but "Sure" and "sounds good" "I don't care.." because it reality for the guy, our biggest decision has already been made. We are usually the ones that determine if and when we become engaged and once that decision is made, the planning of the wedding can kind of be hard for those of us who really, truly don't care whether the colors are blue or green. ya know? I just rambled a lot. sorry.

ballznpucks – No need to apologize for rambling, that’s what these here forums are for. ;)

Update: the Union is available on June 8, but that is also the weekend of Madison Jazz Fest. The festivities don’t start until 5 and we plan on having an early ceremony (1pm), so we could feasibly have most of the reception stuff wrapped up by then (dinner and toasts, cake cutting, etc.) If we want to go the traditional route with a DJ and dancing for the remainder of the night, that might be a problem as the live Jazz music on the terrace would likely compete with the DJ music, I am not looking for a cacophony of noise at my reception! Ah well, I’ve pitched the idea over to df, we’ll see what he says.

Regarding men and weddings...
I basically did all the planning for our wedding. I would present ideas to DH and ask his opinion about it but it wasn't like he would say something "what about this?". He did end up picking the season as he said he said he wanted a short engagement. We didn't really have colors other than my dress was basically a light yellow so his tux had a yellow vest and the flowers were "bright fall colors".

The funny thing was that on the day before the wedding, DH was the one that had a bridezilla moment. I was the one stressing about everything working out and hoping that something wouldn't go wrong but he was the one with the bridezilla moment. It was kind of amusing :)

My guy wanted a short engagement. He asked me on NYE and wanted to get married this summer! Yikes! Honestly, it's OK, but on the other hand, his first thought was Vegas and I thought to myself "I'm overweight, we'll be travelling to the States WITH the kids, it'll be hotter than the sun itself in Vegas in July... I don't think so" :lol:

Then we started throwing out ideas to each other, when I started researching more European destinations... then we decided that early fall would be best - off season AND still warm enough to do a beach ceremony in greece or croatia!

Velveteen - Mine was shorter than that, he asked me in early summer and wanted to get married in the fall. In 4 months though we were able to do all the wedding planning and I was able to lose 30 lbs.

I went to Greece a few years ago in the fall and it was very nice. I want to go back but there are so many other places to visit.

Jeez I miss out on a lot of chatter pretty quickly!

Leo and I decided to register for a honeymoon... both of us are coming from student financial situations (that is, we are both next to broke) and therefore have no money to spend on a honeymoon right now. We were going to settle for postponing it until our 1 year anniversary, but then I decided hey, we only get one shot at this. (In theory,) you only get one chance at a honeymoon! So we changed our priorities and set up a honeymoon registry, which I think is a really neat idea. (We used thehoneymoon.com if anyone wants to see the site.) We've already been bought a night's stay and a dinner :) Now for that hot air balloon ride.... :p

I think I've found an officiant, finally. After exhausting the THREE options we had local to our wedding, we found someone here in Charlottesville who is willing to travel up to the wedding site. Thank goodness. Leo wasn't keen on having a friend ordained, he's very particular about things being "above board" and no amount of convincing could make him believe that ordaining a friend was 100% legit. Ah well. Don't know who we would have picked, anyway. But this woman is incredibly nice, friendly, flexible, and supportive. Which are all good qualities in an officiant! So hurray for that!

Flowers are being a HUGE pain in the butt. One of the co-owners of our wedding site owns a floral business in DC, and we were told we had to use them if we were going to use a florist. So I try calling them.... they say that perhaps they are not doing things like that anymore, that I ought to talk to the manager of the site... I call him, and I call him, and I email him, and no response. I can't seem to get an answer as to whether we have to go through these people in DC or not anymore. I'd rather not, as getting the flowers from 2+hours away is kind of a pain.... but I would if I had to. I just need to know, the clock is ticking!! Less than 3 months to go!!



twistedhoneydew: You DO have a little more wiggle-room before you have to order your dress. If you wait much longer you'll have to pay a bit more for a rush order, but do know that you don't have to have exactly six months before your wedding in order to make things work. I agree with mandalinn though, you should get your dress at your current size and then take the little thrills that come with having to get a garment taken in!!

mandalinn: I have been trying to navigate the Knot but am finding it difficult for some reason. My sister gave me a book by the Knot people (something something Guide to Weddings) that she used when she planned hers, which has been helpful on regular etiquette and things I'm expected to do that I didn't know I was expected to do!
I hope we get to see wedding photos. I'd love to see the arch your father is building, I can just imagine how beautiful it must be. What a special contribution to your wedding!

ballznpucks: wow, you are pretty darn involved! I nearly had a heart attack when my fiance decided to try to help me find an officiant the other day since I told him I had been having issues. Otherwise it's been all me. I haven't minded much, and he does have an excuse since he's in a different country right now :p I'm going to have to go back through the thread -- when is your wedding date? I'm feeling ya on the 3 months flying by... I'm three months away and I'm wondering where all the time I need is going to come from.

shananigans: a 1pm ceremony and you expect to be out before 5? That's pretty quick! Then again, my schedule's not that much different. it just sounds quick :lol: You can always have another venue that you move the party to for the evening/dancing bit if you care to include that without the cacophonous intrusion of a jazz festival. We are having a noon ceremony (hopefully about 20 mins) followed by 1hr photos/hors-douvres followed by a late lunch, then there is a three hour break when everyone (including me!) gets to change and we're going to meet at an irish restaurant/pub for snacks and drinks and whatever ends up happening for the rest of the night. :)


Loooong post.. but that's what i get for staying away from this thread!

Trust me as involved as I am, she is doing much more. But I do try to take care of some things that I am able to.

July 14th is the date.

Ok, so a dilemma I came across last night was finding some good readings from the Bible for the ceremony. I don't mean to offend, but there is not a lot of good things said in the Bible about a man's relationship with a woman that translate in today's world. I want to find some verses that won't be read at all 10 weddings I am going to from now to October, but after spending a few hours last night, I am not sure there are a ton out there.

I actually could't believe some of the things I read last night as suggested readings. Let's just say, since those times, women's role in the church, family and in society have come a long way. I guess I just imagined more to choose from, since the number one thing in my faith is love and caring for other people.

I may have found one or two worth using, but I may mix in a poem that better fits our love and feelings for each other as well.

Bla bla.....your thoughts?

Well, my df seems dead set on the May date, so I guess I will bend since I was the one who absolutely said no to one of the ceremony sites he was interested in and went with the one I preferred. I guess we are practicing for a lifetime of compromising. Now that I’m thinking about it the reception is really more about having fun with everyone, the location isn’t as important as a lot of other things. So we’ll keep looking into the Monona Terrace and maybe a hotel or two downtown.

ballznpucks – I think your idea of mixing in a poem or maybe some prose that better fits you is a great idea. I remember at my sister’s wedding they had a Biblical reading (don’t remember which one) that seemed a bit odd and out of place in the scope of modern notions of relationships and marriage, so I see where you might be having difficulty. We’re having a civil ceremony so we won’t have any readings that are specifically religious in nature, but I think we’ll try to incorporate some readings and traditions that reflect both of our family backgrounds.

Jason has been plenty involved since day one, in fact I was the one who suggested Vegas (only half joking :o). I know our wedding will be special and I’ll love it, but dang weddings are a lot of work!

ok, so ladies, make someone else wash the dishes the weeks before your wedding!

I slashed my finger open on my chef's knife last night - an ER visit, 5 stitches, and one giant bandage later, here i am. Not only does it hurt, but hello, i have a giant freaking hole in my finger.

The stitches will supposedly be able to come out 4 days (yes, just 4 days) before the wedding.

Oh, and forecasts are now leaning toward rain :-)

mandalinn, I'm so sorry about your finger! At least the stitches can come out before the wedding, and at least it wasn't worse! And I am sorry, but I did chuckle a bit reading your post--not a funny situation, but just how expressive you are ;)

Oh and as for the weather, our forecast for tomorrow will probably change by tonight--you really never know, so don't let it get you down. Nothing you can do about it anyway!

I think lots of brides would have freaked out, but I am the world's biggest klutz, and we were actually taking bets on what i would do to injure myself beforehand. Sarah was saying it'd be crutches, so unless i manage to do something else, this is better. And we do have a rain plan in place...even if its not ideal, the day will go on and the ceremony will be on the dance floor, not on the patio...luckily, my dad is building the arch to go either place and I WILL set it up inside, no matter how silly it looks.

It was just so ridiculous that one has to freak out or laugh. I'm trying the laughing.

I guess the bright side would be that it didn't happen while you were in your white dress.

Mandalinn - sorry to hear about your injury, but Ballz is right - better now than then!

I'm pretty excited - we are going to look at wedding bands tomorrow. The jeweler that I worked with on my e-ring is in the process of moving, so instead of working with her, we get to go to the actual showroom of the ring designer to see what they have that might go with my e-ring. Of course, it's just a happy coincidence that they are located in NY and only 2 hours from me! Otherwise we'd be doing this by mail, which is what we did before. DF is hoping to find something in their mens collection as well. Wish us luck! I'm really going to try to stick with something they have ready made, and not go down the path of having something custom made - we really don't need to spend that extra money!

Finally did something about a dress - I found something I loved on eBay, and I won the auction! It should be here late next week as she needed to have it cleaned. The key thing was that it had sleeves! They are lace and see-through, but that's ok, it's still sleeves, and not those "tack-on" ones that David's has for their dresses - I just didn't like how that looked. This dress is from David's as well - I'm hoping it will fit, or be close, as I've not tried anything on yet. Don't know what my deal with that is, but just not something I've wanted to subject myself to. This dress should be my size or just a size small, so it should work out well. It's white, and I'd been looking at ivory, but I'm willing to make that compromise.

I'll send a photo once I get it.

I was thinking yesterday - I've done nothing about music at the church, and I've got just shy of 6 months left. Am I behind schedule on that?
Cindy

Cindy - we only hired our ceremony musicians a month before the wedding - now THAT was behind. You have plenty of time to work that out.

Can't wait to see photos of the dress!

We did our final fitting, the dresses were all pressed and pretty:

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y12...2/IMG_0010.jpg

My sister is flying out today, our bachelorette is tomorrow night, and my sister's shower is on Sunday. Then I have just one more day of work (two if I get slammed, but I am officially on vacation starting Tuesday) and the true wedding madness begins!

or, in other words, Holy Smokes, I'm getting married in 8 days!

WOW, mandalinn, that came up fast--and I'm not even involved! 8 days...aside from all the stress and worry and planning and fitting and verifying, you must be so excited!!

I'm going to a friend's bachelorette party in 2 weeks--does that count for anything? :p She's getting married on May 5th--Cinco de Mayo, baby! I thought that was a really fun and cool idea. Lots of margaritas at her reception!

Ack, Mandalinn! a week! You must be thrilled and jittery and super-excited.


Well, I have a dress. These pictures are really awful, but I am very happy. It's so ME. It has a small sweep train. I'll post better pictures later when I am not taking them myself, hehe.

Your dress is beautiful! Congrats on finding one you love! I can't wait to see the rest of it :)

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y12...2/IMG_0038.jpg

Ehem.

hehe, looks like fun

mandalinn – Your dress looks so lovely, and fits perfectly I see! Looks like you had a good time at your bachelorette, y’all are just adorable. You are just days away now, you must be exploding with excitement.

Christine – You must be so happy you found your dress, I love that neckline.

Christine, your dress is lovely! So glad you found something you liked! Fingers crossed for me that I like mine when it gets here!

I picked out my wedding band this weekend - I only changed my mind a million times, but finally found something that I thought went well with my e-ring. It's a beaded-set yellow gold band, with milligrain edges and engraving on all other surfaces. 9 small diamonds across the finger. I saw it in white gold, which looks very different with diamonds than yellow does, so I hope it looks ok. Very old-fashioned looking though, which is what I wanted.

And, DF found an ArtCarved band which he liked, so we're making progress in that area as well! Just need to check a few things before finalizing for him.

Mandalinn - couldn't open your photo here on my work machine, but will look at it at home tonight. You must be so excited - it's just a few short days to go!
Cindy

Hi,

I am so excited reading this thread I've just read all 11 pages in 20 minutes!! Your weddings all sound amazing and your dresses are beautiful! We're getting married in Warwick (the Uk one!) on November 9th and it's all booked up
We are marrying here, with the reception here and I shall be wearing this which will look a lot better once I've dropped another 15lbs!!

I hope you don't mind me joining in, but to be able to talk about weight loss and weddings is fantastic. I'm so impressed with the little touches (favours/ hand rolled soaps etc..) which you don't seem to see as much emphasis on over this side of the pond

Velveteen- I've been to Lindos on Rhodes (which is where I think one of the major wedding destinations is, at St Paul's Bay, at the foot of where the Acropolis is meant to have stood- if my history is right) and it was so beautfiul.

Clareh - Welcome! I -love- the detail work, its like crack for me, honestly...I thrive on details!

I absolutely LOVE Maggie Sottero dresses! They are so gorgeous and fit so beautifully. My sister is wearing one for her wedding in July. And what a gorgeous pair of sites! It is going to be gorgeous, I am sure.

Everyone keeps being amazed at how calm I am. And I am, really, quite calm. I don't know if I burned out on stress early or am just well prepared, but we are less than a week away and I'm just excited.