Good Monday Morning All
Whew! It's good to be back
I've missed you all!!!
I'm going to try to get in a whirlwind post of some of the happenings since I've been gone but know if I go in to all details I'll never get this post done as I'd be typing non-stop for days, so I'll give you a shortened versioned.
Let's go right to the heart of the matter - I've gained a lot of weight. I'm not exaggerating, unfortunately.
It wasn't so bad until the trip, I'd of course gained some weight but it was manageable. All the planning of staying on track like TRANQUIL did was thrown out the door after day one of being on the road. I ate through each state I drove through and nothing really good either, just plain ol junk. It just got worse. You all know I'm an emotional eater and boy, the emotions were really getting the best of me. Unfortunately, when I returned home, the eating didn't get any better, actually worse and now I REALLY feel my body stretching in all directions from the weight I've gained. My clothes are not only tight on me, and being I wear stretchy pants, that alone should say something of how bad it is, but nothing fits me at all.
I am back on track today. Journaling my food and feeling the drive to undo all that I've done, all without any time frames as I know this is going to take me time once again to get this weight off. I was lying in bed this morning, thinking about how I've lost and gained and lost and gained, gained, gained and lost and gained over the years and did realize something that, even though I've always sworn that I'd never gain back the weight once I had lost it in the past (but always have gained) that, even though it's taking years, I must be learning something as when I've lost weight and met my goal at that time, even though I've gained weight back, each time I've riden on this roller coaster ride I've never gone back to my original pre-diet weight. At one point, one of the diets I started years ago, I started at 240+, when I gained back weight, when I started SB, it was at 194, so here I am gain, gosh knows at what weight, but definitely not up at 194, or anywhere near that, but at least I caught myself before I found myself close to that number.
I won't get on the scale - it depresses me and stresses me out at you all so well know
Going to go by how I feel and how the clothes fit better. I don't plan on getting on a scale until the end of the year-I'd like to throw the metal monster away!!!!
Enough of my diet woes-I know I don't have to explain it all to you without you all knowing and understanding. It's a never ending battle that can't be won. As I've always said, I have to look at this as a battle that seems to call a truce, raises the white flag, yet, if I am not careful, as I haven't been, the enemy (fat/bad eating habits, etc) can re-group and attack without notice, raging an all out war once again, as it has. What I have to look at is not so much the negativity of all this but at the positive, which is all of you who I have for understanding and support, my TROOPS, who will help get me back to my goal
Enough said
TRIP, well, as many of you know, I didn't want to go on this trip. Having driven over 3000 miles sucked. It was nice to spend some time with my cousins, went to NY, hated NYU, had never wanted to go to NYC, only liked going to the Broadway show of 42 STREET with LAUREN (boys went to see LION KING). Hated NY and couldn't wait to leave-my time limit there would be 3-4 days MAX if I ever had to go again, not that I stayed that long there, but that would be the MAX I could ever stay in that environment.
I have to say, the highlight of the entire trip was seeing and visiting with LYNN (YELLOWROSE) & RAY!!!! For those of you who've been fortunate enough to meet LYNN you know what an awesome person she is! Well, RAY is just as awesome a person and when you meet the two of them together you know why they are together. I had such a fantastic time with them that I didn't want to leave. And, when LYNN talks about the TREE HOUSE, well, you just can't imagine unless you see if for yourself what she's actually talking about - it's such an incredible home. I wish you could all see it for yourself. I have to say, beyond spending time with them both, the hummingbird watching was definitely a great experience. The kids and I both had a fantastic time. I could go on and on about those two and the wonderful hospitality they showed, but if I did, you'd all be making reservations to go see them
Of course, you all heard about the wonderful drive home - what a mess, headache, disaster that was! That only added more stress and emotional eating to what was taking place. That cost me $1500 that I hadn't expected, and boy, with no money as it is and this happening, well, I just kept on eating. Thankfully, it got fixed and the guy really knew what he was doing. I just hope the used transmission I got keeps working, I need to keep this car for a few more years. It has 92+K miles on it but after all the money and new parts I've put in to it lately, it better last to 192K miles!!!! Of course, it didn't stop there - when the guy put my car up on the lift he showed me where I was riding on metal in the tires, so when I got home - had to buy 2 new tires - does it ever end?
WEDDING - it was a nice wedding and even nicer to see so many cousins I haven't seen in eons, to the point I didn't recognize many of them. My GRANDMOTHER made it but it wasn't easy for everyone to see her. My mother and aunt had a difficult time just getting her in the car to go there. It's terrible to see how she's gone downhill so quickly and for those who hadn't seen her in so long it was especially hard. Family members were just crying on and off during the whole reception. My cousins SHARI was hysterical and had to go out of the room. I was happy I wasn't at THAT table! My cousin who got married kept losing it as well. As my DM said, they should be crying tears of joy that she made it to a happy occasion. I do believe the wedding is what kept her going and now, it's just a day-to-day wait and see with her. There's nothing that can be done and it's just a matter of time.
I have to say, where my cousin got married, very Hoiti Toiti place in West Palm Beach - have to be rich to go there, that's for sure, but I have to tell you guys, the food sucked! Give me OUTBACK or even OLE OLE any day. They may be rich, but darn if they can cook!!!!!!!!!!! It was so funny when we all went in to the bathrooms, LAUREN was asking for paper towel and didn't realize the REAL TOWELS that were on the counter were there for her to use in place of!
TOE - yes, it's still sore. Would help if I'd stopped hitting it I think but darn, why should anything go right for me???? I finally taped it yesterday in hopes it will help heal a little faster - I know, 4 weeks later and I'm just now taping it
I thought about going to walk this morning and figured I should wait just one more week to let it heal better. It's been hard not exercising at all this summer - another issue to work on.
I did not really have time to read any of the board while I was gone, so please, forgive me AND if you can, update me of any pertinent happenings so I can feel somewhat connected here. For all of you who are new members, I hope to get to know you as I get back to my usual self and the board.
There's a ton more that I could write, but as I said, if I do, I'd never get this posted up on the board and I need to make a start somewhere, so as I remember things, I'll throw them in if I find them important enough to bore you with them
Just know, I'm back, in more ways than one. If I don't post a lot this week, please understand, there's still a lot going on this week that I have to take care of-I have tons of e-mails to filter through, tons of bills that are overdue, meeting on Thursday, have to take MICHAEL to pick out his Senior pics, have to take the kids for blood tests, take the car back because the alignment doesn't seem to have been done (still pulls to the right), etc. etc. I will do my utmost best to get on every chance I can, but with the kids both with projects that have to be done before school starts (Aug. 25th) along with a new project MICHAEL is doing about the homeless, well, I'm sure you can understand! Oh, did I mention how tired I am with all this going on????????
QUILTER - MISSED YOU AND EVERYONE TOO!!!!!!
MONET, sorry to hear you are sick - hope you get better really quick! We can re-commit together!!!
GRAMMY,
Glad you are joining us. Absolutely, your goal is doable as long as you are commited. I can tell you, despite what I've written above, I reached my goal with SB and it was by far, the easiest WOE to follow. The book can be confusing and contradictory, it's not you, it's the book. If you'd like, you can e-mail me with your stats and I can give you an idea of how much you should be eating and what portions. Just include your starting weight, goal weight, height, age and e-mail me at
[email protected] and I'll do that and send the info back for you. Don't be afraid to ask questions, we're all more than happy to help!!!
BEACH, glad to be back and of course, I can't say enough times how much I missed everyone! Looks like you are really doing well being back on track - I'm hoping to follow right in your footsteps. We'll both get back to goal!!!!!!!
FRUIT, when are we going to talk???????????? E-mail me and tell me a good day and time, anytime after 9pm est.
Okay gals, I'm outta here. I will be on later. LAUREN is going to babysit and MICHAEL slept at his friends house, so he's not here. I do have quite a few errands to run today, but I'm for sure getting back on the board at least a few more times today. I have to - it definitely helps keep me honest!!!!
{{{HUGS}}}
Debbie