I'm really interested in hearing about this aspect of your weighloss. My best friend recently lost 30lbs, she is now at her ideal weight. She told me that virtually everyone treats her differently, her husband, parents, friends, boss, sales people. I'm amazed that her weighloss has made that much of a difference in this respect. Its not like she was terribly over weight in the first place. Are people really this shallow???? This is a direct quoite from her, "when I lost the weight, I gained power".

Anyone care to share their expiriences?

I think people do treat me a bit differently in some cases, but I also know that I am behaving a bit differently than I used to. Some people treat me exactly the same, but that is because perhaps with them I am the same.

Yes some people can be shallow, but the change in behavior is really a two sided coin. IMHO. I think we reap what we sow.

People are a lot friendlier to me, all the time.

It's kind of unnerving like, "What, because I was fat you didn't want to talk to me?"

But I'm also a lot friendlier to them and way more confident than before!

It's a two way street.

Yes, I am treated differently. But, IMHO, it is not because the rest of the world is generally shallow. It is because I am more confident, outgoing etc. So, probably, it is more because I treat the world differently now - not the other way around. People weren't mean to me at my heaviest but I walked around with my arms crossed, my eyes to the ground, with an air of unhappiness to me. That's not exactly the most engaging body language there is so I certainly can't blame people if they tended to keep their distance.

As for closer friends and family it isn't so much that they treat me differently. But they are impressed by how far I've come and that earns a lot of extra attention for me. They are in awe, really. And they should be. I've changed not only my physical appearance but the way I dress, the way I wear my hair, my energy level, and my overall demeanor. I'm still the same PERSON, of course, but a much happier one. So, in a sense, the "new" me is really just the old me turned up a notch or two. People respond to that. It doesn't mean they were shallow before it just means they are reacting to a more positive me.

All changes for the better (on both sides) if you ask me!

Oh yes, people DEFINATELY treat me differently now that I'm thin!!! But, I don't look at it as being shallow at all. I'm a completely different person now, not only physicall but mentally as well. I'm more open, I smile more, I walk with my head held high, I talk to people, I don't hide in the corner, I laugh more, I'm just a generally a more happy person. Men flirt with me, people are engaged when I talk to them, people look me in the eye, I have doors held for me, I get smiles all the time, strangers talk to me, it's all different! I was at the bar last weekend, where my fiance and I have been going with our friends for Kareoke for years now. This girl, Steph, who goes there all the time as well, came up to me to talk to me about how wonderful I look. She told me something that made a lot of sense to me...she said that I seem so much happier and I am MUCH MORE APPROACHABLE. Approachable being the key word. My attitude is better and others notice that.

WOW!!! thanks ladies! That makes a lot of sence really. My buddy unfortunately doesn't see it quite the way y'all do. I've printed out the replies for her to read. What a positvie uplifting group you are! Thanks so much for sharing!

I've had a lot of positive experiences and see myself in a lot more positive light, but there have been a lot of negatives, too. I've lost a few friends along the way, and family relationships have changed some. Some of my overweight relatives are furious at me...they call me "the fitness ****", because I guess I am living contradiction to their claims that it's impossible to lose weight or change a lifestyle. One ex-friend stopped inviting me to her parties when I started bringing vegies trays or steamed shrimp appetizers instead of the chocolate extravaganza tortes which were my trademark in years gone by. I guess I know what that relationship was worth!

Most of my friends are in the process of getting larger and more out of shape, and they see me as a reminder of what they think they should be doing, particularly because I work in a gym.

Mel

I don't know, Mel, chocolate can carry an awful lot of "weight" in a relationship

Absolutely, I have lost 15, 25, 50 pounds......the more I lose the nicer people are to me. The same people that didn't even talk to me before. The same people I had worked with for years. All of a sudden they wanted to talk to me. I was always the same person, outgoing and friendly - fat or thin. I think it is called shallow.

Mel: That's horrible!! My friends have been nothing but supportive through my entire weight-loss journey. My friend, Lisa, especially. Actually, I went out to the bar with Lisa and our other friend, Kirsten two weeks ago. Lisa told me two days later that she thought I was making Kirsten self-concious (we laughed about it). She said that after I had left Kirsten, who is a size 12, said to her, "Do you think Nancy looks better than me?" and "Do you think that Nancy is thinner than me?" Kirsten does have major self-image issues along with other issues, but it's just like, God, can't you just be happy for me? LOL I told my fiance what she said and he says, "Kirsten is insane". LOL
My mother is totally inspired by me. She's completely had it with being fat and has now started her weight-loss journey. Which is funny because the last time I lost a lot of weight (40 lbs. before going into high school), she decided to lose weight too!!

A big congrats to you all!!!! thanks for the replies!

I agree with what a lot of other posters said. People treat me differently, but I'm certain it's because I "treat" them differently. I'm much more confident and open and willing to make the first step whether it's just saying hi to the guy behind the counter at the gas station, or a new co-worker. I used to think I didn't like people very much. But I think I was just terrified of being judged based on how I looked. I MUST have projected that outward because (like other people have said) I would walk with my head down, shoulders hunched, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone. I feel like I'm the "real me" now, and back to being the friendly and outgoing person that I was as a teenager.

But I've also encountered a "bad" reaction from a woman who has known me for a long time...she is very heavy and has (kind of) tried to lose the weight but always gives up after a week or so. SHE treats me very differently -- and not in a good way AT ALL. She's a family friend and about 20 years older than me. She used to babysit for me and has always sort of treated me like a kid -- which is okay, that's just the relationship we have. But LATELY she's been very condescending towards me, saying things like "Haven't you painted your fence yet? You really should put some energy into it, Kate. It looks awful from the road and people might think you're lazy." and "You should really cut your hair. Having it so long makes your cheeks look fat." She's always been a negative person and gets jealous/catty very easily, so I sort of expected this kind of stuff from her (note the "people might think you're lazy" and "it makes your cheeks look fat" in particular). She's getting in her little jabs at me in a (somewhat) passive-aggressive way. I just don't choose to spend much time with her anymore because I don't need that negativity in my life. It's too bad she can't just be happy for me and move on. I'm still the same basic person I always was.

LovesBassetts: I know what you mean about the cattiness. My "friend", Kirsten, who I mentioned in an earlier post, told me last weekend that I should wear dark pants instead of light pants to the bar because the dark ones make my legs look slim. Then told me that I shouldn't wear all black because it would like like I'm trying to cover something up. I was thinking to myself, "Girl, my legs are already slim and I don't have to cover anything anymore!" That kind of thing really aggravates me!!!