3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community - losing is only half the battle.. , sorta need advice.

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losing is only half the battle.. , sorta need advice.

Well as we all know, losing is only half the battle. I have maintained my weight for nearly 8 months now, and I am still struggling. I haven't gained back, but my mind control is on edge a lot lately, I feel at all times like I am this close [] to losing control.

How do we overcome it ? I think I will battle forever, and always have to watch it... which scares me, I need a system I think.

Anyone got a system that works good for them, please share, thanks :)

At the Ladies who Lift forum, we've been discussing the topic of maintenance...a LOT. :)

I've been on this journey for 13 years now (actually 33 years, since I started dieting when I was 7 years old).

The thing that has been working for me is working towards getting OUT of the 'diet' mindset...and into the LIFESTYLE mindset.

For me, journaling (writing down my thoughts in a journalbook) works wonders - have you ever heard that phrase "it's not what you're eating, it's what's eating YOU"? So true...

Also...find an exercise activity (actually more than one if at all possible) that you LOVE to do. Growing up as a Fat Kid, I was a total klutz...nonathletic to the MAX - always picked last for teams in P.E., never good at any team sports (I spent 6 weeks of Tennis serving a ball against the wall, and my sister will attest to the fact that I really suck at Ping-Pong :lol: ) and what's more, feeling totally fat in that 1-piece uniform that we HAD to wear in PE Class. (ew!) Also, being an incurable bookworm didn't help matters much either. What a surprise to discover during my voyage from 265 to my current size 4/6 (I don't 'do' scales anymore) that I LOVE the following activities:

Jazzercise (was going 6 days a week for 5 years!)
Bicycling/Spinning
HORSEBACK RIDING (my current passion)
Weight Training (my other current passion)
Hill Walking
Hiking (I prefer Yosemite for a venue though)!

I am now a GYM RAT...an Iron Lady and I love it!!!

Food...when I grocery shop - I don't bring a list - because I have my 'staples' - my 'safe foods' - that I buy every week - chicken breasts, eggs, brown rice, veggies, yams, fresh fruit, ice (for ice tea and protein shakes, that sorta thing), etc. In my job, I do have to entertain out-of-towners, and that means going to restaurants - four-star restaurants - I know enough by now WHAT to order and what NOT to order. Also - I do treat myself to a 'free meal' or 'free afternoon' every week - so NOTHING is off limits :)

I'd like to direct you to a VERY insightful post written by Meg and posted at the LWL forum...check this out!!!

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/show...threadid=27552

Quote:

A year ago today I reached my “goal weight” of 135 pounds, after starting at 257 pounds less than a year earlier. In the past year, my weight has fluctuated up and down in a 10 pound range (132 to 142), usually for no particular reason (I think it’s my metabolism settling in a my new weight). It generally stays in the 134 to 137 range. Today I weigh … 135.

At first, I was thinking that it had been a wasted year because I ended up at the same weight that I started. Then I realized that I have never before maintained ANY weight for a year, let alone a “normal” weight. It’s the classic “is the glass half empty or half full” situation — would I like to weigh less? Sure. Am I glad I don't weight more? Absolutely!

So I had to stop and think of what has changed over the past year, if not the scale (and I will be the first to admit that I am WAY too hung up on those numbers!). A year ago, my body fat % was 16%. Today it is somewhere between 12.5 and 14% (depending on the measurement). So I’ve gained muscle and lost fat. My calves are finally getting smaller (my fattest body part by far — when my trainer does the nine-point BF on me, everything is single digits except my darn calves, but they are slowly going down). My size 4 pants are loose on me — some are a little too loose. I’m stronger and run now. The changes are small, but there, nonetheless.

So this led me to reflect on the lessons that I’ve learned in the past year (when I was doing cardio yesterday, of course!) and I had some thoughts that I’d like to share:

Maintenance is harder than losing: I heard this when I was losing weight and I thought “You’ve got to be kidding! What could be easier than maintaining your weight?” Believe it and prepare for it — it’s true. I have the utmost respect and admiration for anyone -- like our Karen -- who has lost AND KEPT OFF (for 12+ years!) a significant amount of weight.

Maintenance doesn’t look any different than losing: I eat the same foods in pretty much the same quantities, work out just as intensely and often, and do as much cardio. I may eat 100-200 more calories per day — that’s it. You have to run hard just to stay in place.

I’m addicted to exercise: Hurray! Without a doubt, exercise (cardio and weights) has been the key to me losing and keeping off 122 pounds.

I still have food cravings: I fight the food demons every day — they haven’t magically disappeared.

I screw up: I eat something unplanned, feel guilty, and the scale inevitably will go up. But — I stop. I haven’t “binged” for more than a 15 minute stretch at a time and have never let it turn into a day or longer.

No one can make me fat again except for me: The great truth -- only I control the hand that puts the food in my mouth.

I recognize my problem times and try to create a strategy: Mine are when I am over-hungry or over-tired. I have to be sure never to let myself get too hungry or else I can’t ever get full. When I’m really tired, I lose all will-power. My worst days have been the ones when I’ve gotten almost no sleep the night before.

I still plan and weigh and measure: I use Fitday.com and plan my meals the night before and write down everything that I eat. I weigh and measure portions simply because I know that I underestimate when I am hungry. I make lists of strategies of what to do when I am tempted to eat the wrong food. I still need this control over my eating just like I did when I was losing.

Excess skin is a problem that does not magically go away: I ended up having plastic surgery to get rid of some of the huge amount of skin that was left over after my weight loss and will need more. I am more than thrilled with the results.

Self-talk is critical: 98% of weight loss and maintenance happens in your head, I think, and you have to talk yourself through all the challenges that each day presents. Every day I wake up and tell myself it's going to be a great day (and, hey, it usually is!)

People treat you differently when you have lost a lot of weight: I have lost friends and gained friends and my DH has been alternately perplexed and alarmed and thrilled.

Clothes shopping is so much more fun: At first I was unthinkingly buying clothes in the styles that I had previously worn until I realized that I could wear shirts tucked in and little crop tops and sleeveless etc. So then I swore that I would never again wear pants with elastic waists (except for gym pants) or sensible underwear or T-shirts to cover my butt. Scratch the surface and I’m the one in the fuchsia lace!

Having this group to turn to for support is priceless!

I’ve made it for 365 days. I’ve been through Christmas and Thanksgiving, my birthday, two surgeries, and a bad mammogram without turning to food for comfort or celebration.

So here’s to another year, one day at a time!

Meg

Here are some books I've found invaluable:

"Thin for Life" by Anne Fletcher
"Fat of the Land: The Obesity Epidemic and what Overweight Americans can do to Help Themselves" by Michael Fumento (also check his website for some great articles at www.fumento.com - LOVE the hate mail)
"The Quest for Peace, Love, and a 24-Inch Waist: Challenge Your Beliefs, Remember your Spirit and Lose Weight with Joy" by Deborah Low
"Fed Up! The Breakthrough 10-Step, No-Diet Fitness Plan" by Wendy Oliver-Pyatt, M.D. - I just started reading this a few weeks ago and there is a LOT of great info there...IMO (as I stated above) the best thing you can do is get entirely OUT of the diet mindset - because with a 'diet' there's always an 'end' to it, and then inverably, a binge...

Hope this helps ya...

wow, thanks so much, that post was awesome.. I have gone through a lot of those scenarios many times, and I do a lot of those things all the time, hehe. A journal.. I thought of that just this morning actually.. you can keep one on this site right ? Maybe I will have to try that out, thanks again Mrs. Jim :D

Hi Tonya! Congratulations on your losses and it sounds like you are discovering the big secret of weight loss — maintenance is harder than losing! Like Karen told you, we discuss maintenance A LOT in the Ladies Who Lift forum because none of us want to be part of that huge group who regains their weight (I’ve seen statistics as high as 95% who regain).

It seems like we reach our goal weights and then the scale stops moving and we’re in the day-in, day-out drudgery of maintaining that weight. The honeymoon is over and we don't get that “high” from clothes sizes dropping and the scale going down anymore. We’re at our goal weights — why can’t we eat like “normal people” now? Why do we still need to plan and measure food and journal? Why isn’t life perfect?

You said you’re still struggling after eight months of maintenance. I still struggle after 15 months and I’m sure Karen will tell you that she sometimes struggles even after 13 years! The things that made us fat to begin with don't magically disappear once we reach a goal weight. The bad habits and psychological issues that helped us eat our ways up to our high weights will always with us. I’m sure you’ve discovered just how fast some of those bad behaviors can come back — we’re never “cured”, I don’t think.

In the 15 months since I reached my goal weight, I’ve discovered that the tools and knowledge and skills needed for maintenance are pretty much the same ones I used for losing. That’s why I say that, for me at least, maintenance doesn't look any different than losing. I still exercise the same way, in the same amounts. I still eat the same foods and weigh and measure and journal. Once in a while I’ll plan a treat, like dessert when we go out. Otherwise, if you look at my Fitday journal, a day this week is indistinguishable from one, say two years ago when I was still in my losing phase.

And that underscores Karen’s point that you have to find some way to manage your weight for the long-term that fits your lifestyle and BECOMES your lifestyle. It’s no longer a “diet” — it’s your life and it’s for the rest of your life. It’s so clear to me now that if I ever go back to eating the way that I was eating and not exercising, I will go right back to weighing 257 pounds. In about three minutes!

We may always struggle, though I think it becomes easier with time, like any skill. OK, so we'll just do it one day at a time. I’m sure you’ve discovered that it is so worth the effort!

Meg

Meg and others --

Great motivational post!! I can relate so much to everything you said and its so TRUE! losing weight correctly is more than *learning* about nutrition, but learning about listening to yourSELF, your body, and what it needs -- and sometimes, WHY it thinks it needs what it needs.

tonya -- ive kept my weight off for 2 years now and i can honestly say every day is still the mental dialogue... i try not to make myself crazy... but ive accepted that if i dont watch myself carefully, then i can EASILY put the weight back on!

Good Luck.

*Melanie

Thanks guys, you guys are such in inspiration.. I was having a bad off week, and I am slowly pulling myself out.. I have 4 days to my bad 2.. :) hehe

You guys rock!

Meg, I don't necessarily "body build" but I do excercise the cheap way at home, so I will come browse and see if there is any helpful info for me over there. :)

Thanks again.

Wow..this was really a great thread to stumble on.....I was talking about how my mentality has either been that I am on a diet or not, so when I am ON I have been great and when I am NOT I eat like there is no tomorow! I have been trying to find the middle.

There is something about how my logical brain knows it is a lifestyle change, but my emotions and body somewhere haven't quite caught up....it is great to be reminded that it is about the journey as well as the desintation !!

I was looking around too...and boom ...what excellent, positive advise to start my weekend off!..

MrsJim..your post was soooo helpful to me..When is your Book coming out.....I will be the first to buy! Really never thought of what some people call "DIET" food as staples (duh?)...If I go ahead and buy them every week..they will be in the house..so I am less likely to binge. (duh?)..simple but helpful thought...Your entire post was awesome...thanks!

I think I will run by Barnes & Noble and pick up Thin for Life today..I hope they have it......tootles

Wow guys... thanks for this thread & posts. These are questions I have been thinking/worring about a lot lately.
:)