Beach Belly Laughs...
Hey...sometimes we need a good laugh to make it through the day! Feel free to add your funnies to this thread! (you can always post them separately if you want. :D )
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ROFLMAO>>>>>>>I work for a technology company!!!!
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So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, you know you're from California if:
1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible. 2. You make over $300,000 / yr and still can't afford a house. 3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English. 4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower. 5. You can't remember…is pot illegal? 6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor. 7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian. 8. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears. 9. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S. 10. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney. 11. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment. 12. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal? 13. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH." 14. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers. 16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents. 17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal???? 18. Both you AND your dog have therapists. 19. The Terminator is your governor. 20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license.* If you're here illegally, they want to give you one. |
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Those were great! Here's a favorite of mine:
KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (actual AP headline) Linda Bxxxxxx, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that LInda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of her head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The man called paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid. |
:lol3: Cottage, that's one of my major favorites! I hate the noise that the biscuits make when you pop them open. I can totally see thinking that it's a gunshot! ;)
Kye, you lucky girl! I really enjoy technology but am not skilled enough to work in the industry. You must have a lot of patience! :) Jessie, as a CA girl, I can totally relate. :lol: |
Got this from my aunt. Thankfully, it's not like this when DH cooks...but this is exactly how it is with my father. :rolleyes: :lol:
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OMG, I can so relate to that grill thing. My dh once said that he couldn't help me if I had company come over one summer afternoon, I looked at him all shocked and said "When do you ever help me in the kitchen?" He looked all offended and said with complete sincerity, "I get the grill out and cook all the food!" What, all the food? No I prepare all the food and you place it on the grill and watch it so it doesn't burn to a crisp while I clean up the kitchen and get all the side dishes done. So bad feelings all around and he hasn't fired up the grill in serveral years. (Bascially, getting the grill out is the big part of why I don't do it myself.)
Sarah |
Ah, Sarah, I'm sorry about the grill...even though you were totally in the right with your husband! :mad: Grrr.... Grilling is so healthy (well, except for those carcinogens... ;) ) and fast...any way you can put the grill in an easier to access place?
Here's a new funny, courtesy of my aunt: Quote:
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This had my mom and me on the floor crying with laughter last night! :lol3: Hope you all enjoy it too! :grouphug:
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Got this one from Meg...too funny!
(please, don't take this seriously, now! :rofl: ) Quote:
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Dihydrogen monoxide-the horrors!
This is a funny that circulated around the chem lab years ago. You have to have a spartering knowledge of basic chemistry to get this joke.
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OMG! That's exactly how it is at my place. Sad, huh? lol I take what I can get. I guess it's better than nothing. |
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