This perfectionist needs and intervention
 

Hey Chickies,
I love coming to this forum and reading and participating in all thats going on. I try to keep up with everything while secretly I am struggling inside. I am a planner and a perfectionist by nature. I will come up with the elaborate meal plans and grocery lists. I will subscribe the the forums and start journaling. My problem lies in the fact that when I do decide to take the initiative to start a workout/diet, ok this diet I am either perfect or cheating. I was supposed to start Jan 2...I just keep making bad decisions regarding eating something I am not supposed to, or deaming events/things that happen to me as 'not ideal' for starting this diet.
I used to tell my husband all the time that the reason he would never go work out with me even though he wanted to be a person who exercised regularly was that it wasn't important enough to him yet. When it really was truly IMPORTANT he would do it and not make excuses not to.
This really is important to me. I just cannot get past the hurdle of once NOT OP letting the rest of the day go to *%$# and then starting over.
So I ask you fellow beachers, when you go NOT OP do you start over? Is there ever a time that you just keep going and accept it? What exactly do you use as a guideline for if this slip up was big enough to start over.
Sorry for the rant just kind of frustrated.

I think most of us just keep right on going. "Failure isn't falling down; it's failing to get up." Have you figured out what causes you to slip up? When you know that, you can devise a strategy to avoid it.

By the way, I just checked your BMI and at 128 you are 23.4 which is normal range. At 105 you would be 19.2 which is low normal. How did you decide on 105 as your goal?

Steph
 

That's my world. I too struggle with being perfect on SB and if I blow it with one little bite................it's over. Bad head games. I'm trying to overcome that line of thinking and I take it a day at a time.

:grouphug: Hugs

I can relate to what you are saying, Stephie. I have the same problem. For me, I just let it pass and get right back on. For instance, the last couple of nights I have had wine. Ok -- it's done and over and I'm just starting right back. I'm new here also (although a pro dieter). I'm glad you posted your frustration. There is a lot of help here and asking for it, is half the battle. Like Ruth said, if you can figure out what triggers you, maybe you can devise a strategy to avoid it.

Good luck, and hugs. And keep on posting and asking for help. That's what we are all here for!

Joanne

Ruth,
I am pretty petite. I am 1/4 japanese and I am only 5'2 on a tiny frame. I am basing my goal off the weight that I was a couple of years ago when I was super active. I used to take ballet, karate, workout, eat right etc...then I started working on my career and kind of lost the time for most of my activities and the habit of eating right. I know what 105 looks like on my frame and although it may be toward the lower side of normal that is what I am shooting for. I know that I eat when I am bored so I am trying to overcome that. I think that if this were a normal diet I would feel like I could just get back on the wagon. For some reason with SB PH1 being like a detox I just would not feel right going OP for like 2 days then eating something bad, going back to it and saying I was on day 3... I think you are on to something with tracking my emotions when I get OP...and find out if there is a pattern.

So your one of those all or nothing kind of girls. Well, guess what...your not the only one. :dizzy: I am of the same mind. It's difficult to overcome that need for perfection or disaster and nothing in between. I don't win all the time. When I am trying to diet or change my eating habits, I often fall off the wagon by having something like candy or movie popcorn or what not and than I figure I might as well throw in the towel and pig out for another day. And I do mean pig out!!! When I do follow the plan I become obsessive and drive everyone around me crazy. We are not the only ones.

My friend quit smoking at the same time I did and she can have one or two when she goes out on the town and it doesn't make her start smoking. I know that I can never indulge that habit even one time because I will buy a pack the next day and the rest is all to heck. The kind of people that can do what my friend does don't understand the way we think or react.

I have already thought about the fact that after I get closer to my goal I will need to re-design this plan a bit to allow myself to have that 1 day or 1 meal or something like that a week where I can say, "if it's there and I want it...I am eating it" and it won't be cheating. If I plan it that way I hope that it will allow me to say "that was the plan and now It's back to normal until next time". I may even have to schedule these things if that makes sense.

I hope this helps and that you stay here at the site because I am glad to know that you are there struggling along with me to fight that need for perfectionsim.

I look at this not as a "diet" (ie, short term fix) but a lifestyle. Because of that and because of the flexibility of the plan, I don't consider anything I do or eat to be "cheating" - sometimes I make good choices, and sometimes I make poor ones (and sometimes I make a LOT of poor ones!). But that's life. I only start over with a few days of ph1 if I feel that I've made enough poor choices to re-tox(?) myself. Otherwise, tomorrow is another day!

Try not to look at it in such black and white terms - you'll just set yourself up for failure if you do. You don't have to be perfect! After all, life isn't, is it?

ps - I know where you are coming from - I'm a recovering perfectionist myself.

Yep Stephie , you're not alone! I know it's taken me quite awhile to "et right back on the horse.. and not think well, I screwed up soooo let me just go whole hog today -and start over tomorrow. Take it one choice at a time. :hug: