An old man, a boy & a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey & the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding. The man & boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.

Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They then decided they both would walk! Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey.

Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey. The boy & man said they were probably right, so they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal & he fell into the river and drowned.

The moral of the story?

If you try to please everyone, you might as well...

kiss your *** good-bye.

Tsk! Tsk! And to think I didn't post a couple of SNORKS lately because of the language!
Good one, Laurie!

Oh, well... if you're going to be crude, then so am I!


The Amazing Talking Clock

A very drunk man was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night.
When they made it to the bedroom, they saw a big brass gong next to the bed. "What's a big brass gong doing in your bedroom?" one of the guests asked.
"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock," the drunken fellow replied.
"A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.
"Yup," replied the very drunk man.
"How's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it.
"Watch," the Irish drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave it an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another for a moment. Suddenly someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "You ******* - - - it's three o'clock in the morning!"

You guys are too much!!! Can I join in?


Mildred was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death.

Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place.

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become paralyzed, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be. "On a woman," the doctor said, "your heart would be just below your left breast."

Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her left knee.

You are way too funny!

I didn't think I was being crude...but I'm enjoying the results anyway! Thanks for the laugh!

Laurie, yours wasn't crude. Especially in comparison to the language that flies around this family run office operation!

Jenn, that's a great one. It's my favorite to tell!

Thanks for getting me laughing this morning!