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-   -   Housecleaning Tips (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/south-beach-diet/56392-housecleaning-tips.html)

Ruthxxx 04-14-2005 10:59 AM

Housecleaning Tips
 
I was planning to clean this morning and then I read this on another website and took a long bath instead!

Quote:

Dirt:
Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 15 and leave it alone.

Cobwebs:
Artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If someone points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look confused and exclaim "What? And spoil the mood?" (Or just throw glitter on them & call them holiday decorations.)

Pet Hair:
Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand-sewn play animals for underprivileged children. (Also keeps out cold drafts in winter.

Guests:
If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, "I'd love you to see our den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive."


Dusting:
If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist that "This is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes."

General Cleaning:
Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself on the couch and sigh, "I clean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere." As a last resort, light the oven, throw a teaspoon of cinnamon in a pie pan, turn off oven and explain that you have been baking cookies for a bake sale for a favorite charity and haven't had time to clean...Works every time.

Another favorite, I think from Erma Bombeck:
Always keep several get well cards on the mantle so if unexpected guests arrive, you can say you've been sick and unable to clean.

soon2Bfab 04-14-2005 11:04 AM

HA HA...the last one is my fav!!! Thanks Ruth....needed this. I was in a super bad mood after I got off the scale today. This cheered me up!! Thanks!!!

sweet tooth 04-14-2005 11:47 AM

Ruth, DH doesn't need any help with the excuses. I have been trying to get him to clean windows for....I can't even remember how long, but it is a very long time. I finally have him convinced that they need to be done in two weeks and I don't want to spoil my good fortune. :lol:

Bamiegurl 04-14-2005 12:42 PM

I love the get well cards! If only it would work on DH! lol

ellis 04-14-2005 02:26 PM

:lol3: Love the get well card one, too. :rofl:

SwimGirl 04-14-2005 03:44 PM

What if you don't have a mantle?!? LOL, this was quite the timing of this post, I'm in the middle of cleaning my house for guests (my brother doesn't qualify, but his picky gf does!)... I have 1 room left! I am going to throw a really huge pile of clothes in the closet and try and shut the doors.. I'm tired of cleaning! Thanks for the laugh :)

-Aimee

2BFIT1 04-14-2005 03:50 PM

Thanks for the humor!!1

AZLowcarber 04-14-2005 04:43 PM

:) Cleaning as I type :) Thanks for the giggle.


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