How much longer...
 

do I think I can continue with my poor eating habits and continue with the cholesterol rising, blood pressure unstable, and the blood sugar unstable, and stay functional. :rollpin: :rollpin: :rollpin: My doctor called this a.m. and now I have to start cholesterol meds cuz they keep rising and I know why!!!
I had decided that I was going to do Phase I for the entire two weeks again beginning today and then I got his phone call.

Off to the grocery store to stock up for work and home on the things that "I" need around rather than what everyone else "has to have." My dil baked a cake that I managed to stay out of and she ate one piece and it just sat there staring at me for a week. They will be moving out in about two weeks so that will make home easier. Work is another story altogether but I have plenty of options that are on plan. I am also thinking I need to pack lunches and dinners for myself even though I am surrounded by food all day long.

Bunna, you are in my head! Can you tell I've been off program too? Both of us are old enough to know better too which is the sad part.

YES! You are more important than the rest of the crew and deserve to get what YOU want when you shop. Do you think your doc would give you a second chance on lowering your cholesterol without meds? Mine did - and it worked.

Hang in there and come here often for support - or just to whine.

(((Bunnababy)))

Bunna, I'm so proud of you for getting to this point! :grouphug: I know this is hard, but like your message says, if you work on it, you can make this happen. Nothing is too hard to bear when you know that you are doing this for you. You wouldn't believe the temptations I've been able to walk away from with no problems...because being healthy is more important to me right now. :grouphug: I'm definitely here :cheer: you on!!! :D

Geez! Now Laurie is inside my head too! :yikes:

I think something had helped me come to this decision before the phone call was being able to separate self-image and body-image. It is okay not to be happy with my body-image and still love myself. That is hard to get a grasp on but I have finally been able to do that and then comes the "What are you going to do about the body image?" and realizing it is completely my choice, no one elses, just mine.

Thanks for the support. That's what is so wonderful about this board is that you guys are here no matter how many times we fall on our faces in the sand and then crawl off to the boardwalk.

:lol: Or UNDER the boardwalk. It's pretty scary in there!

I don't like either place. :fr:

Oh yeah, I forgot to answer you Ruth, this was my second chance but he said he would evaluate my progress in eight weeks. If I have it down pretty good then he will reconsider. :o

Amen! That's funny, because I definitely got to that point before I was able to get to the point I'm at now. :yes: I learned to love who I was, so I could love who I am becoming...does that make sense? :?:

Sweetie, that's because we've been there...and probably will be again! :o Right, girls? We're human...that means we mess up often, but we try to learn from our mistakes and pick up and keep on going.

One of the mods on here had a line in her sig that said something like (paraphrasing here): "Failure is not falling down. Failure is not getting up after you fall." I'm not saying it right because the original quote implied that you'd fallen down often and would again...but that you would keep getting up. You get the idea. ;)

:grouphug: to you wonderful ladies who make me feel much more human and less alone in my oddness! ;)

Geez, Laurie, you seem perfectly normal to me - for a MOD, that is! :rofl:

Oh Bunna I'm clawin my way out from under the boardwalk myself! I have let redoin our kitchen along with other things give me excuses to not eat OP but that is over now. Although I have very lil OP things in the house right now i am still eatin OP. I have got to get to the store. After I get a lil more cleanin done I'm gonna get a shower and get to the store. My grocery budget is gone for the month but I will spend my own to stay OP! (that means I am really serious! lol)

Ruth come on girl we are back on and gonna do this!

Laurie your doin great!

Bunna, something in one of your posts recently stuck in my head so I put it in my signature. Just change the word 'slim' to healthy and build your own fire within. Its for you, by you, and within your power. YOU CAN DO IT!

Wow, Abroad, do you do inspirational speaking or has your DH's military background worn off on you? ;) Good points!

Bunna, thanks! I'm finally losing again...but it took forever. And I could definitely be exercising more! :strong:

Ruth: :p :lol: Yup, I suppose I could be considered a normal MOD...whatever that is!!! :lol3:

Bamie, good for you! :cheer: You are really dedicated to this, and I think that's fantastic! Doesn't it feel empowering? :D

Oh, Bunna... big hugs for you, hon. :grouphug: I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes I lie in bed and think, "Is that a chest pain? Is it creeping down my arm?"
I just ate a burger and fries (STUPID!!), and everytime I do, I feel TERRIBLE afterwards. :yes:
It's like there's no connection between our brains (and taste buds) and our bodies. What the ****!? :mad:

Man oh man is it ever nice to know that I am normal (lazy as a stump sometimes) but normal.

I have been trying to get remotivated to get back on track too.

I KNOW what I have to do, I KNOW what I have to eat, I KNOW I feel better when I do it, I KNOW I am wasting time, I KNOW I can do it - AND I STILL JUST KEEP RIGHT ON EATING CRAP!

Come on - somebody smack me already!

I have acid relfux, a hiatis hernia and high blood pressure - is that enough to smarten me up? Apparently not.

I have so many gastric chest pains that I don't know if I would recognize a real chest pain if it happened.

I need Dr Phil or bootcamp or something (anyone live close to Toronto wanna come kick me?)

Someone send me motivation vibes please.

OK vent over (promise).

I have been so stressed - I interview for a new fulltime job on Wednesday - If I get it I think I will go out and buy myself a treadmill (whether I can afford it now or not (what is VISA for anyway?))

Ok I will try my best to get here more often - you guys keep me grounded.

Kim

:coach: Let's go, Kim!! And all of us! :drill: There is no excuse for killing ourselves with food. (remind me I said this in half an hour, please)