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On the subject of the virtual model, but not really!

#1

rebelridergirl , 11-18-2004 03:40 PM

I read the post about what Bamiegurls husband said about the virtual model

...that sounded so much like my husband! The other day I was expecting him to be sweet like he used to in the old days (and we've only been married 5 months!) and I told him that I felt bad that I have gained so much in the past year. Like a normal woman, I held the bait out and said, "If you met me now instead of last year when I was thinner, I bet you wouldnt want to marry me." I figured he'd say that he loved me no matter what, you're beautiful, etc. WRONGO BONGO! He just "Eh...I dont know." I felt smoke come out of my ears!!!!!!!!! My husband has gained A LOT too this year. He can be very "looks" based. I was putting on a little weight, while we were planning for the wedding and I would get real depressed about it and he'd say, "You look great. I have always been picky about women. I wouldn't date let alone MARRY you if you weren't beautiful" That was then. I havent heard that sort of thing in ages.

Now, I am really very sorry if there are men reading this, but what gets in SOME men's heads (meaning my hubby!) about comments like those?!?!

AHH...the days of the single life!!! LOL!!!!
#2

Ruthxxx , 11-18-2004 03:47 PM

I learned long ago to NOT ask questions like that.
#3

sweet tooth , 11-18-2004 04:11 PM

You're right, Ruth...I learned the same thing. DH also learned a long time ago not to commit an answer to a question like that.
#4

Bamiegurl , 11-18-2004 05:00 PM

Poor rebelridergirl! I feel ya pain sister! Yes I have learned if you don't want to know don't ask! That's why this time I am losing weight for myself and no one else! In the past I had wanted to lose thinkin he found me more attractive when I was thinner. Now I don't give a flip if he finds me attractive or not I care about how I feel about myself! A few years ago his words would probably have crushed me and sent me into an eating frinzzie but now I just laugh and tell him it could be me when he gets up off the wallet and pays for lipo suction! lol Don't let it get you down and just keep on keepin on!
#5

ellis , 11-18-2004 09:59 PM

Oh, sweetie... I hear ya, hon. Like the other girls said, you just learn not to ask those loaded questions.
Either that, or you say, "Now look. I'm going to ask you a question, but before I ask it, I'm going to tell you the correct response."
I'm telling you, these men can be taught!
#6

Bups , 11-19-2004 07:42 AM

Actually it has taken 14 years but my DH is FINALLY learning

Last night I was talking about my weight loss, only 8 lbs so far, but I said "See my tummy is getting smaller" He says "Yup!"...I then said "does it look smaller to you?" He say "um ..not really"..I asked "then why did you say Yup?"...His answer..."Cause you wanted me to"

Aww men He's actually very honest with me on things that really matter - I guess he was just trying to keep me positive.

My rule is, if I may not like the answer DH will give, just don't ask the question!

Kim
#7

ellis , 11-19-2004 09:23 AM

Kim, you should have stopped at the first question.
#8

rebelridergirl , 11-19-2004 10:51 AM

Thanks for the advice ladies. You are all so right about asking a question like that. Maybe one of these days I'll figure out this married business! He really is a sweet man, but has his little glitches. Who doesnt? Thank you again for responding. It made me feel so much better!
#9

Goddess Jessica , 11-19-2004 03:10 PM

I lucked out... I got together with mine when I was much heavier.

Sometimes I think about what would happen if boyfriends/husbands asked similar questions of us... Sure, we don't care if they get a little big around the middle but there are some OTHER areas that we discover as we "grow" together...

Some of my hypothetical responses:

"If I knew then what I know now..."
"I thought you were trainable..."
"Back then, I thought it was cute..."
"Who knew it was a quirk but an annoying habit?"
#10

Mamacita , 11-20-2004 06:41 PM

If there is one lesson I could instill in every single young girl out there...

"Men are not unpolished gems. What you see is what you get so if you don't like what you see right this minute, give it up, honey, and go find one you like better."

all wise and all knowing

Mamacita
#11

Bamiegurl , 11-20-2004 07:09 PM

You go Mamacita!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#12

Goin' Grandma , 11-20-2004 07:13 PM

I was at my heaviest and preparing for two major surgeries when I met the guy I am seeing now. He asked (with a look of distaste on his face), if I was going to get skinny if I started eating this way. I asked why. He said he likes me the way I am and usually wouldn't look twice at someone who was skinny.

I guess they come in all types. But I do believe this one is harder to find.

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