Q: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the *!@$ light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS DAMNED HOUSE!
I'm sorry.... What was the question?
Oh man, that's so much like my mom before she went on her pills that it's scary!
She was a total witch for a week, leaving my dad and my sisters and me completely bewildered. At the end of the week, she had a normal checkup with her doctor, who popped her full of pills and told her she had started menopause. Huge sigh of relief in our house!
Ok, I haven't started the Big M yet, but I still go on rants like that. Especially about BIL who still can't seem to take two more steps and put his @#$#@#$@ Diet Coke cans in the TRASH but puts them on the counter NEXT to the can.
Or better still....I found one of his half full coffee cups....on the bathroom floor.... and so help me God....if he leaves the bread unwrapped one more time, I'm just gonna have to kill him.
DH changed a light bulb the other day. (at my request, mind you) He has bizarre pack-rat tendancies that he inherited from his mother, and I was naturally suspicious after he'd finished the job. Sure enough, I checked the new package of four lightbulbs I'd purchased the previous day, and it was open, but contained four lightbulbs. He'd placed the "dead" bulb back in with the new ones.
Poor bABY!!!!
No I have to say hubby changes the light bulbs and takes out the garbage....BUT---have you ever been cleaning and vacuming and there they sit reading the paper or book or watching tv....as you are cleaning all around them.....UNLESS I SPECIFICALLY ASK to do something.....there he sits!!!!!
I did break one of my favorite blue bowls this morning putting it away.....glass all over the floor....FIRST THING IN THE MORNING>
The rest of the day will be better....cross those fingers and toes!
Coolmom
Speaking of the big "pause"
Oh man, that's so much like my mom before she went on her pills that it's scary! 
If you leave them on the counter, the recycling fairy takes them away. 
