What lies are you telling yourself as you journey along the road to weight loss? Maybe more than you realize. It's time to get honest, because those untruths may stand in the way of you reaching your aims.
"People may set unrealistic goals or deprive themselves in extreme ways that are very difficult to maintain," says psychologist Bethany Teachman of the University of Virginia. "It's no wonder so many people lose weight initially but then have difficulty keeping the weight off."
Here we address the most common myths that undermine a healthy approach to weight loss — and offer tips to overcome them to achieve success.
1. I need to go on a "diet."
"The whole concept of a 'diet' sets us up to think we will be 'on a diet' then 'off a diet,'" says Teachman. Instead, think of your weight-loss plan as a lifestyle commitment to healthy eating and exercise, for the long haul.
2. I'll get back on track on Monday/after the holidays/when the sun comes out.
There's no day like today. If you slip, just pick up where you left off. Persistence works wonders.
3. All my problems will be solved when I lose weight.
Dropping pounds may leave you feeling healthier and happier — but it won't make you more lovable or turn you into a runway model. Be clear about why you want to lose weight and set realistic goals. "It's far more motivating to strive toward being fit and energetic than it is to strive toward being a size 2," Teachman says.
4. Fat people don't deserve to eat.
Do you forego the office pizza because you're afraid people will think you shouldn't be eating? Seeing yourself through others' eyes in a harsh, critical way "is a surefire way to blow a weight-loss plan," says psychologist Debra Mandel of Los Angeles, author of Healing the Sensitive Heart (Adams Media Corporation, 2003). Instead, she suggests, it's more effective to focus on developing a more loving relationship with your body. A study published in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine (Winter 1998) found that those who started out accepting their bodies were more than twice as likely to lose weight as those who felt dissatisfied or ashamed.
5. I shouldn't wear a bathing suit (shorts, a tank top) until I've lost all the weight.
Lots of people of all different sizes enjoy sexy clothes. "When you love yourself, you start enjoying life," says Mandel. Break big goals into smaller ones, and reward yourself along the way. Rather than saying, "I need to lose 25 pounds," say, "I'll buy a new swimsuit, one size smaller."
6. The less I eat, the faster I'll lose.
Wrong. "The less we eat, the slower our metabolism gets, and the slower we lose the weight," says Mandel. "Deprivation also makes us unhappy and actually causes us to overeat and overindulge." A slow and steady approach — including treating yourself to your favourite foods, in moderation — is your best bet for building a healthy relationship with food and reaching your long-term goals.
So stop telling yourself lies that sabotage your efforts. Instead, start living your life with a weight loss plan that works for you. You'll feel better about yourself, your confidence will grow, and you'll keep the weight off.
I can relate to #3. I kept thinking that my dh was becoming distant because I had put on so much weight. But, no, he's just that way and no amount of weight loss is going change how he is.
He's one of those who feels he doesn't have to tell me he loves me or even thinks about me, "If my feelings for you change I'll let you know." or "I told you on your birthday 4 months ago that I love you, what else do you want?" Can we strangle our loved ones every once in awhile? Just a little?
Seriously, #3 is my problem. I have had to really come to grips with my emotions and life in general. Losing weight is not some magic wand that makes everything better. If I'm lonely and/or depressed when I'm fat, I'll be loney/depressed when I'm fitter unless I change what I'm doing in/with my life.
Sarah.. You are so right. I know I can relate to #3 as well. I have noticed though that everytime I lose a lil weight DH seems to be a lil more attentive. When I did WW a few years ago and lost weight he couldn't keep his hands off of me and then when I gained it back he stopped and since I have lost this time I notice he has octopus hands again. (bad thing is it's only when we are not alone!) That is why I am losing weight for me not him. Maybe try reading a self help book or something. My MIL said Dr.Phil's was pretty good. I have not read it myself.
I think you both have the right idea! I heard someone say that losing weight doesn't make your problems go away, it reveals them! I think that's totally true. We hide a lot of feelings and issues under our fat...perhaps that's why Oprah calls them "pounds of pain".
I hope you both can get help for your DHs. Perhaps a Marriage Encounter or marriage retreat, or even seeing a couples counselor? Some men are not good at vocalizing what they feel, but if they love you, they can learn to compromise and tell you in other ways, you know? My DH says he loves me by doing things around the house. He says it too, but only after I do...you know? But I do know he loves me...and that he hears "I love you" mostly when I do something for him...saying it out loud doesn't do too much for him. Isn't marriage one heck of a learning experience?
Isn't marriage one heck of a learning experience? ( I cannot figure out how to do a quote!) Good thing I can C & P! haha
Amen to that one sister! My DH is a great problem solver and has had a lot of people management classes and such due to his line of work. But what he needs to take is a class on how to romance your woman! haha He is great in every area except the "big one". But hey ya can't have everything! My ex husband and I had it goin on there but outside of that he was a jerk! Go figure!
I can identify with #2 and #5. I always swear that I wil start on monday or tomorrow or next week or the next time the planets all align just so
If I have a bad day - I just crumble, I have no perserverence.
BUT I have managed to put the first four days together of Phase 1 without a single excuse - and I am feeling so happy. I have managed to lose 2kgs or 4.4pounds.. woo hoo - just with perserverence.
I also dress really badly. I make sure that my husband and daughter are dressed well and have good clothes but I am never out of jeans and sneakers, my hair just gets put up in a pony tail and I make very little effort. When I see bigger women who are dressed beautifully and are confident they just take my breathe away.. Confidence and sexiness is not a dress size - it is an attitude!
Need more attitude ladies !!!!
I agree that marriage can be tough. After 10 years my husband and I had slipped quite alot and were giving little personal time or attention to each other - which is very easy with a new child... So I sat him down one night and told him how I felt and asked him how he thought the situation was. I asked him to tell me what I needed to do in order for him to feel loved and special.. It is mostly just a series of small things that add up. I shared with him what I would like to see from him. Of course we have times when we aren't as attentive as we should be but on the whole this entire year has been a much more intimate time in our relationship.
Ah, Artemis, sounds like you are another wise one! Welcome and congratulations on your loss and your perserverance! I know what you mean...but I've found that one thing that makes SBD such a great WOE is that once you get the sugar and bad carbs out of your body, it is so much easier to perservere!!!
My DH says he loves me by doing things around the house. He says it too, but only after I do...you know? But I do know he loves me...and that he hears "I love you" mostly when I do something for him...saying it out loud doesn't do too much for him. Isn't marriage one heck of a learning experience?
That's how my dh is, he doesn't do the words so much but he has the right actions. I mentioned awhile back that I wanted a new set of good pots and pans. I found out he started researching different brands of pots and pans. He studied up on what made a good pan, what different chefs used in their restaraunts. He went to a couple different cooking stores when we went to the mall to look at the different brands and then for Christmas that year I got a supper big set of really good pans, cost like over $400. He went on to tell me all about these pans and what made them good. (And they are great.) He did the same thing when I said the next thing I wanted was a good set of knives.
He's really a sweet guy that's why I shouldn't be upset that he doesn't say the words so much. Because I know his heart is with me. I still want to slap him up side the head with a pillow sometimes (don't want to actually hurt him)
Bamie, this is wonderful... thank you for sharing it with us.
I'm definitely a #2 and a 5. I'm going to be 40 in February, and that was supposed to be "last ditch" where my weight was concerned. Here I am... still fat and powerless.
Marianna, you're a therapist's dream patient. I love what you did with your husband... you're so very wise.
Sarah, my Dad was like your DH, and I'm a little like that, too. Sometimes if you haven't been brought up to show affection, it's really difficult to show the people you love how much you care. You're doing the right thing by looking beyond the signals that you expect to seeing how he's trying to express his love for you. Did that make sense? Because I'll bet he loves you a LOT, and I'll bet he sometimes wishes he could show it more.
Actually a book that I have found very helpful this year and that has facilitated most of the changes with myself and my relationship with my partner is "Buddhism for Mothers".. It talks alot about acceptance (of yourself and others), finding joy in the everday experience and about training your mind to stop the flow of negative thoughts that I sometimes feel harrassed by. It is a very easy and funny book to read...
Top 6 Weight-Loss lies!
I think that's totally true. We hide a lot of feelings and issues under our fat...perhaps that's why Oprah calls them "pounds of pain". 
Welcome and congratulations on your loss and your perserverance! I know what you mean...but I've found that one thing that makes SBD such a great WOE is that once you get the sugar and bad carbs out of your body, it is so much easier to perservere!!! 
I'm going to be 40 in February, and that was supposed to be "last ditch" where my weight was concerned. Here I am... still fat and powerless. 
Because I'll bet he loves you a LOT, and I'll bet he sometimes wishes he could show it more.
