A Funny for a Friday
 

For the health minded (majority) of our group.........

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this
true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste
them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart
will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life
of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.


Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?
Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass. And pork chop can
give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.


Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to
one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.


Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise
program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No
Pain....Good.


Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In
fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad
for you?


Q: What's the secret to healthy eating?

A: Thicker gravy.


Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only bew doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.


Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO.....Cocoa beans.....another vegetable!!! It's
the best feel good food around!


Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: Explain whales to me.

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about
food and diets. Now go have a cookie...flour is a vegetable!!

Ted (E.J.) Topping
ITS Delivery Project Management Office
Tel: (905) 316-2916 T/L: 886-2916
email: [email protected]

:lol3: I love it, Little Chick. :rofl: Thanks... I needed that.

Oh my
 

That was rich! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Very good, Little Chick. Sent it on to my seriously healthy friends. They are eating all the wrong things! :lol:

Reminds me of Bill Cosby giving his kids cake for breakfast: "It has flour -- that's wheat. And eggs! And milk! It's the perfect breakfast!"