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**WARNING re Alcohol**
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor
manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the **** happened to your bra and panties. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. WARNING: The crumsumpten of alcahol may mack you tink you can tipe reel gude -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK: * Indubitably * Preliminary * Proliferation THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK: * Specificity * Antidisestablishmentarianism * Loquacious * Transubstantiate THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK: * Thanks, but I don't want to have sex * Nope, no more booze for me * Sorry, but you're not really my type * Oh, no, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing Note: These warnings apply in Canada and England as well! |
That describes me when I've had too much! :lol: Except saying antidisestablishmentarianism. That has always been one of my favorite words. :p
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I don't know what's funnier -- the facts pointed out, or the fact that those facts are soooo true!!
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lolol! so funny! :lol: living in a dorm, i know how true those are. but not from experience :angel: ;)
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Of course not! Nor do I! :rofl:
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