a bad choice and attendent regrets
 

I've been ill. My husband left for work this morning and surprised me when he came back with a Panera egg and cheese souffle. To cheer me up, you know.

My husband is not trying to sabotage me. He thought it would make me feel better, and he doesn't see any harm in occasional cheating. I, on the other hand, know that if I cheat, I will keep right on cheating.

I thanked him, and he left for work (again). I stared at the souffle. I knew it would taste very good. I tried to convince my toddler to eat it, but she was happy with her yogurt. Smart girl. I ate my breakfast of cottage cheese and blackberries and felt fine, nice and sated and healthy. I stared at the souffle. I considered saving it for later. I considered eating the egg out of the middle and tossing the rest. I considered burying the darn thing in the backyard. My husband would never need to know.

And then I ate it.

It, of course, made me uncomfortably full, and now I am faced with the possibility of cravings. Even worse, I am afraid that those evil thoughts of, 'well, you already did it once....' will come creeping.

:(

I am sending strength vibes your way. You've already lost almost 12 lbs. according to your tracker. You are doing very well. Pick yourself up, brush yourself off and keep going. HUGS

LET.
IT.
GO.

you made your choice, you ate it, i hope you enjoyed it - now move on.

what causes habitual cheating is feeling guilty for cheating. think about it: if you are constantly flagellating yourself for eating something "forbidden", what are you doing? you're constantly thinking about what it was you ate, right? you're remembering the taste, the pleasure, etc, so naturally you keep building up a potential that will only be relieved by eating more of it.

that's how the cycle works.

break the cycle - ONE soufflé is not going to undo days and weeks and months of discipline.

you ate your soufflé; your hubbie is happy that you accepted his well-meaning (if misguided) attempt to make you feel better; and while i have no clue what a panera is, i'm sure it was miles away better than *shudder* cottage cheese.

This helps me: Remember that the souffle is in the past. You already ate it and can't undo it. BUT you can be stronger than the food. You gave in once and you don't need to again. You CAN put down whatever else may come your way to mess with your diet. You can do it!!!!! :)

Yep, done is done. You can now control how you react as a result. I find it all too easy to give in to all or nothing thinking. "I fell of the wagon so I might as well eat every off plan food I want today and restart tomorrow" kills me! Someone once gave me a great analogy - if you are driving down the highway and you miss your exit, you get off at the next exit, you don't say "what the heck" and keep driving further and further out of your way.

LOl.... its in the past and over. Pick yourself up again!:hug:

Hi Lisa - I'm feeling the same way right now. I had a planned off-plan meal today (if that makes any sense) and right now I'm fighting so many cravings and emotions. Physically I'm full but I'm feeling very snacky and trying hard to fight it. I like the driving analogy though and that helps. The hardest part of dieting is figuring out how to make it work in everyday life where every meal isn't always going to be perfectly on-plan.

You will be fine, I agree it is over, it is a good reminder to you of how it feels to eat that type of food, reinforces your lifestyle change.

I just read this in a magazine today: The key to being a big loser: Don't try to be perfect. People who allow themselves to make diet mistakes are less likely to actually make them.

Thank you for all your kind thoughts! It's wonderful to have a community like this to lean on.

I go with everyone else who says it happened, move on. Drink lots of water, eat lots of veggies, and move on.

And good for you for sharing it on this forum so you could harvest lots of good thoughts, good energy and encouragement - that's what we're all here for.

I've found that for me "regrets" and feeling guilty over "bad" choices tend to inspire more bad choices, because of the stereotypical feelings that I've "blown it might as well screw up more." Regret and guilt make me feel like I'm "a person who makes bad choices."

I'm not a person who makes bad choices, and I don't have to feel guilty or regret my choices to make better ones in the future. So when I make "less than perfect choices," instead of feeling guilty and regretful, I acknowledge the "good reasons," behind the less-than-perfect choice.

For example, my hubby also tends to bring comfort food home when I'm sick. He tries to stick to the guidelines I've given him for comfort foods (such as sugar free popsicles or real fruit fruit bars instead of icecream), but he sometimes forgets, and I sometimes choose to eat the not-best choice comfort foods, but I try to do it more consciously AND less guilt-ridden.

If I eat the high-calorie treat, instead of feeling guilty, I analyze the situation. What need did the comfort food meet, and did it meet it successfully. Did I feel better while eating it? WHAT made me feel better. Was it the sweetness, the creaminess, the association with comfort-memories? What were the positive consequences of eating it? (even if it's just "tasted really wonderful, and I really felt better at least while I was eating it). What could have met the need or desire without the negative consequences? Was it really that bad a choice in the scheme of things, or was it just a good or neutral choice that could have been even better? How can I better prepare myself and my loved ones to make the better choices in the future?

I actually keep a list of on-plan "comfort foods," for sickdays and moody/depressed days, so that when hubby asks "is there anything I can get you to make you feel better?," I'm prepared. Some of the items are foods, and some of them are other comfort-rewards, like flowers or a backrub.

For a while hubby would buy me a stuffed animal whenever I was sick or felt down, which was quite sweet, but our bedroom started to get over-run with soft furry dust-collectors. I had to come up with the "list" or we would have been knee-deep in teddy bears.