for the last 2 days I've binged on non SB food. I've been mindlessly shoving food in my mouth. I'm not beating myself up about it I just need to get it out there and be honest about it because if I don't then I will start hiding and lying to myself again. I've eaten a lot of halloween chocolate, chinese food, KFC hot wings and Japanese takeout AND Cracker barrel yesterday. Today I've eaten a sloppy joe(which was SB) and halloween chocolate.
It started yesterday morning when I dropped my husband off at work so he could go out of town for the week. I then went shopping for a little while and decided I should get something to eat. Since I didn't eat any breakfast I was pretty hungry. I remember thinking about going to wendy's to get a bowl of chili and a salad. But somehow I went from that to going to the japanese takeout and ordering sweet tea, a hibachi bowl with extra side of rice and I tried to order chicken wings but they were out of wings so I went to kfc and got an order of chicken wings. I ate some of the the wings on my way home. I got home and spread out my food in front of the computer and proceded to eat.
A couple minutes later my husband called and said they hadn't left yet and wanted me to go eat lunch with him. I didn't tell him about the food I had spread out in front of me, I just said sure I'll be there in a few. I put the food in the fridge and left. We went to the chinese buffet. I was full when I got there but I managed to eat more food anyway. I ate one small plate of food.
Shortly after that, I started getting sick. It felt like something was eating a hole in my stomach. I picked my daughter up and her friend from school at 3 and went to walmart to get some stomach medicine. I got several different kinds. I needed to get them something to eat before trick or treating, they wanted to go to cracker barrel. i took them there and I ordered a kids chicken and dumplings and water. I ate about half of it. I was still sick but I ate it anyway. God it was horrible, but I kept on a happy face for the kids.
About half way home I started feeling like I was going to vomit. I tried to hurry home as fast as I could. I got home and ran to the bathroom thinking I was going to vomit but I never did. By the time the sun started going down I was feeling a little better and off we went trick or treating. When we got back home, we all proceeded to eat candy.
After that was over and the DD went to bed, I pulled out that food from earlier in the day and tried to eat it. It was horrible tasting and it started making me sick again. I ate a few bites and threw it away. I wasn't even hungry anyway (thats obvious right?).
I went to bed.
This morning I got up and was so thirsty, I wasn't about to get on the scale. I took the DD to school and since then I've eaten about 10 fun sized kit kats and a littel while ago i was hungry so I ate the sloppy joe.
I've decided to go back to Ph1 immediately, starting now or at least in a few hours when I'm hungry again. I'm drinking tons of water too to help flush out all that sodium and toxic stuff. I still feel sickly. Like I said, I'm not beating myself up I'm moving on. I have to say, I don't think I've done bad at all. This is the first real binge I've had in probably 6 months. I'm proud of that fact. I'm also proud of the fact that my reality check came so soon. This binge is something that could have gone on for 3 months or more like in the past.
Thank you for reading if you took the time to read all of that, I just needed to get it out & be honest. You can respond if you want to.