I'm sure you all know that families can have a huge influence on how we eat and feel about ourselves. My mother was pretty neglectful, and well, not a great mother all round. She would give me a great pile of junk to eat every day so I would go away and leave her in peace, so it doesn't take a genius to figure out why food became a substitute for comfort.

I get stressed now about food with my daughter and I can't seem to help it. I actually got really mad today when I found she'd been having coco pops for breakfast at nursery, I mean I got loud, almost shouted, about not wanting my child to associate the most important meal of the day with chocolate etc etc. This assistant looked at me as if I was insane.
Anyway, just blowing off steam. I don't want to make her completely paranoid about food, but I really worry she'll turn out like me.

I think you have a right to complain about nursery feeding your child cocoa pops! In fact, I think I would take the complaint to OFSTED. Okay, maybe start with the nursery supervisor. See if you get anywhere. Just do it nicely. They tend to listen to parents who stay calm and kind of roll their eyes at parents who over-react. Tell them you'll phone Jamie Oliver, hehe. If they don't address your complaint satisfactorily, then ask for their complaints procedure. By law, they must have one. That might shake them up. If it still does't, by all means contact OFSTED.

In my opinion, you have a legit complaint. You just need to present it properly. And also realize it probably was not the assistant's fault.

I think the most important thing is to teach your children about nutrition. My mum never really did this, and never encouraged me to learn to cook. She wasn't neglectful, food has just never been an issue for her like it has for me. I think it's also too easy to reinforce that food is a treat. This is probably partly what made me go off the rails when I moved out - when it was my own money etc I just felt that I deserved it. Now I realise that I deserve to be healthy and happy more.

I think it's OK that your daughter had CocoPops for brekkie - you don't want to end up giving her a complex about diet at a young age, she's a kid and that sort of thing is fine as long as she is getting a relatively balanced diet through her other meals. Just my opinion, feel free to tell me to shut up...

No, i'm not telling anyone to shutup!!

You're right it's not the end of the world! I partly got annoyed cos I've told them before, as well as filling in a whole bunch of forms saying I didn't want her eating sugary cereals etc. So I just felt like I was being ignored. But I think they've got the message now.

And I really try to be balanced about this kind of thing. She eats well, nothing processed. I'd just had a great big row with my mother, and it just got me all stirred up!

Hi, I'm not a UK chick, but I gotta chime in here. Coco pops are full of sugar and chocolate, 2 things that give me headaches, dizziness, my hands and feet tingle and gets my day going in the WRONG direction. If it happens to me, I'm sure it happens to others. That's no breakfast for nursery school kids. Over here many schools have banned peanut butter from the schools because so many kids are allergic. No one's allowed to have peanut butter in the school because it might be harmful to even one kid. I think they can elminate coco pops from the menu without any kids being messed up for life. I think you had every right to be pissed. I think it was irresponsible of the school to serve that. It obviously and rightfully so hit a sore spot with you so you got umm... loud. All right it probably would have been better if you didn't get so umm... loud, but it happens sometimes, we're human.

I sure hope that they did get your message.

BBL

I too would have been really annoyed at them having give my child anything that I'd stated they could not have - especially if I'd filled in forms regarding this. For all they know the foods that you request your child not to have may have some kind of reaction such as that that rockinrobin has. I do suggest that you talk to the nursery manager regarding your concerns and get her assurance that this won't happen again.

Cheers guys, and you're right rockinrobin, I shouldn't have got loud, that's not normally how I am.
I think i'll have to definitely pack her a lunch when she goes to school!

No, no, no you misunderstood me I didn't tell you shouldn't have gotten loud, I meant that I understand completely why you DID get loud. Ohhh I've gotten umm....loud many times where after thinking it over and taking a step back wish that I wouldn't have, but we're human and sometimes our emotions get the better of us.

Yep, they're getting the better of me quite a bit lately. I'm not turning to food (yet) to deal with it, which is something!

K-e-e-p c-a-l-m. Deep breathing - don't let yourself get stressed. Don't even think about chocolate.

I think I would have gone a little nuts if my daughter got fed that kind of rubbish at school. I think you ought to back up your verbal complaint in writing and send a copy of it to the local education authority. You'd think after all the national publicity about Jamie Oliver, etc, that the school would have known better than to give kids cocopops.

Not that theres anything wrong with having cocopops occasionally - say once a month - just not every day.

I know everyone is going to call me a bad mother now, but my 2 boys have chocolate milkshake for breakfast most mornings.(What's more they drink it standing up.)
I've tried them with everything, I can think of, and they refuse to have anything else.
It's not by example. I have weetabix and my hubby has shreded wheat.
I always watch Hunny we're killing the kids,and am amazed at how they get the children to ear healthy food. Mine will do without before eating something they don't want.
I'd be grateful if anybodys got any hints.

Carole

I think with slightly older kidas, teenagers, if there diet is effecting there health, natural size, then somthing should be dont about it, but if its not then dont worry. OK its not healthy, but some teenagers have very good metabolisms for burning the food they eat in school, plying footie at break, doing after school clubs, going out at night to a mates house i dunno.
when i was a teenager i was a bit bigger, wish someone had taken away the coco pops lol, but i knew plenty of kids who were fine with what they ate.

Hi Carole Difficult one this - you want your kids to be happy and you want your kids to be healthy and sometimes the two things involve totally different parenting skills.

A couple of things to keep in mind - a) your kids will love you no matter what you feed them and b) they can't eat/drink what you don't have in the house.

If I were you I'd do a slow replacement of the not so healthy stuff with for healthy yummy alternatives. Like, perhaps, when the chocolate milk is finished buy a couple of different kinds of plain juice or perhaps whizz normal milk and frozen fruit together to make healthy shakes. Don't get in to a discussion / argument with them about it - just make the changes and when they complain keep saying 'this is what we all eat now'. If they don't eat it at first then just keep serving it up - kids are very conservative when it comes to food so there will be ructions for a few days but they will eventually accept the changes as normal.

Good luck - they WILL thank you for this when they are older and don't have the junk food related health problems that so many kids of this generation are going to suffer from.

I have to agree with Sarah Ann, Carole, I've only got one young child and i'm sure there are many problems to come. I had a brief spell where she suddenly rejected everything (after starting nursery) and although it was tough, I removed the meal, and (calmly) said it's this or nothing, and sure enough she started to her eat broccoli, peas etc. because she was really hungry. That is hard to do, sometimes I felt sick thinking she had am empty belly. But it did work.
Be firm, strong and patient. Again, Sarah Ann is so right, they will thank you for caring. I know I wouldn't have half the issues I have now if a few simple steps had been taken earlier on.
Good luck.

I let my kids eat naughty food as an occasional thing - so they look forward to it but it's a thing you do outside the house, not at home. (Eg: They've been to McDonalds once in six months... I never buy biscuits for ourselves or the younger kids and rarely chocolate - they get cakes but homemade... They love gingerbread - what I do there is swap all the refined ingredients for unrefined (honey instead of sugar, wholemeal flour instead of white....and halve the fat....)

The nursery doing that would drive me mad! My 2 youngest (4 and 6) go to a sort of health-fascist school that only allows healthy snacks at breaktime etc, and the truth is - if kids have no alternative - they will eat it! If they don't - tough! (Maybe explains why all my 5 boys are skinny!) We let our 17 year old eat a bit of chocolate and some biscuits when the others are in bed - because he is a beanpole, and he gets hungry. But if he had even a hint of a weight problem - it would all stop overnight. That any nursery in the current climate of opinion could even do that is a bit incredible! I'd get my complaint in writing, that's for sure to the owner/manager/chairperson of committee that runs it. They'll only take action if you get it in writing, I suspect! And I would complain. It's unacceptable because it undermines what you're doing at home. Also, as a former teacher, I have to say I wouldn't want a roomful of sugar hyper pre-schoolers, no way! What are they thinking????

I know people with overweight kids and time and again, it's because they have the stuff in the house. Bottom line is, if it's not there - they can't eat it! So if you go to all that effort and then the nursery undermine it - you have every right to be steaming mad!