I have been wondering whether anyone else out there thinks morning, noon and night about their weight? It is beginning to disturb me that it matters soooooooooo much to me about my size. I have lost 120 in the past, and am currently battling the 60 lbs I put back on through stress and family tragedy. The weight bothers me because I know how differently people appeared to treat me when I was thinner, but also because of how I used to treat myself. I did not always blame everything on my weight, and now I do again. I have a stinking cold, but won't go to the doctor after the six week accompanying cough for fear of being told it's because I am fat...... I won't call up tradesmen because I think they will laugh on the phone because I am fat....... Sometimes I think my beautiful kids and DH don't love me because I am fat........ Something needs to change in my psyche for it to work this final time, because I need to value me, not just the thin me. It is really bugging me that I am so shallow -Any suggestions?

Aknowledging the fact that you need to value yourself--no matter what your size is really the first step to getting out of this dillemma. I don't think you are shallow, I mean- I never used to really think about my weight until I started trying to lose it. Once I started attempting to lose it, it was always on my mind, I think thats normal. I am overweight, but I carry it well, and when I tell people how much I weigh, or go into the Dr. office, they tell me, "no way!".... But, I have a dear friend who is over weight and doesn't carry it well, and I see that she is indeed treated differently. I think this is just something that we, as women, have to overcome, because it's like any bias... People are mean, and prejuidice about all kinds of things, and we just have to overcome them. I can assure you that, you are beautiful, your family DOES love you, and you are taking the steps to loving yourself by trying to become healthier and happier..
Remember that you are important. People need you. People Value You. You have good traits, besides your waste line. Go post in the "three good things about me" thread to give yourself an ego boost...
I hope this helps, please, feel better!!

oh my goodness yes!!
i also find myself pinching my belly fat or my bra fat without even thinking about it.

its ALWAYS on my mind. everytime i sit down i worry at how disgusting my rolls might look, i think about it when im eating in front of people, or everytime i catch a glimpse of my arse in the mirror!!!

the two things always on my mind - weight and money!

Me too, especially my love handles.

I think about it too but I work hard at focusing on the positive... how much of me is GONE and the big rolls of fat that were there but are now missing! Of course there are times when I get discouraged because of how fat I still am... but I intentionally turn my mind back around and be thankful for how much I have LOST! And can't wait for one more pound to be halfway and going "all downhill from here."

Please don't misunderstand... it is not easy not getting discouraged a lot of the times, especially when that silly old scale will not move. But I NEED to keep a positive focus and have fun with this so I can make it!

Not constantly, but it happens regularly. Usually when I'm alone I don't care too much, it's when I'm surrounded with people (thin people especially), since I can "compare" and I realize that, yes, I stand out (I swear the sophomore girls in my cursus are all sticks. Ugh). Though it can have positive effects - for instance, when having lunch with such people, I don't want to appear like I'm pigging out, so it reinforces my commitment to eat moderately and not let myself gulp down that whole sandwich just because we're out of a 3-hours long class.

But yes, aren't those thoughts annoying. :|

I had started getting over some of that more externalised worries about being fat - you know the "I can't go to the doctor even though I am sick because he'll nag me about my weight". But last week I went to the doctor with a nasty virus, I went three times over two weeks. And on the last time he nagged me about my weight So that erinforced my inner fat chicks mutterings "you don't deserve medical attention when your ill because your fat! he did shut up when I told him, yes I know I am obese, but last year I was morbidly obese, and I've lost 60 lbs, and yes I am still losing weight, but right at the moment getting well is my priority thanks very much!

I digress, like Misti, I try to put a positive spin on it. Yes, I am fat, but I am exercising, eating good food, and I am aware of my health for the first time really in my life.

I think the brain stuff, the battles in our heads, are the hardest thing of this whole journey.

Please see a doctor about your continued cough. You need to feel healthy and at your best to improve your health. You are doing what you need to do with diet and exercise so tell the Dr. this if he mentions your weight. Heck, people get sick all the time and it doesn't always have to do with weight.

I definitely think about my weight all the time. I always have, and I guess I've finally realized that it will always be a constant worry and source of stress until I get down to a healthy weight. I used to get angry sometimes, thinking that I shouldn't HAVE to think about it, that everyone should accept me as I am and all that. They should, of course, but that doesn't take my health into consideration. I know I need to get healthy so I can live the life I want to live.

But let's get real -- it's also about appearance. As much as we'd love for everyone to see how beautiful we are, the weight DOES hide it. I'm not saying overweight women aren't beautiful -- we ARE -- but the sad reality is when you're as overweight as I am, that's the first thing people see. Once they get to know me, they realize I have great hair and a nice smile and pretty eyes, and I'm funny and intelligent, but I'd be fooling myself if I didn't think people saw the fat first. I'm tired of that barrier. I don't have the barrier with my friends and family, of course, and that's the most important thing. But I want to move through the world confidently, knowing that everyone sees the real me inside and out. My weight has been a barrier for FAR too long, and I'm TIRED of thinking about that. Now that I'm on the way down, I've mostly replaced those thoughts with good ones -- thoughts about how much stronger and healthier I feel already.

Hey...the fact that we're posting on this board at all means we think about our weight a lot. But it also means that we're thinking positively, or we wouldn't be here!