For about a year, I've been waking up a little before 5 a.m. and going to the gym to do an half hour of weights and an half of cardio. Then during the day, I'll get in 3 or so miles on a treadmill. Things have changed up here and there -- the nice YMCA guy set me up with a cool new weight program, I've started elliptical, instead of just treadmill, done different treadmill programs. But lately I find I'm waking up mad, angry that I have to get up and do this and it doesn't seem to be working. I don't feel like I'm getting stronger, I'm not increasing my walking rate (I went from being able to do 1 mph for 15 minutes to 2.5 mph for an hour in a little under a year and have increased to 3.2 mph but can't seem to move past that for the last six months.) So now I'm missing workouts and looking at my second week of just cardio and missing those workouts at well.

Last year I made it under 300 and even made it within two pounds of losing 100 lbs total. Then I lost my grip -- I'm an emotional eater and it was an emotional summer. But I've never quite gotten my "grip" back. I've been working over the same 20-25 lbs since last summer. Nothing seems to be working diet-wise. I was doing low carb and doing well but that doesn't seem to work as well as it did. I follow the diet well for several days but don't see anything on the scale, get discouraged and lose it for a day or two, which puts me back at square one. I had gotten to the point where I was just going to have the mini-gastric bypass surgery but found out my insurance dropped that particular coverage and I don't have the spare $17,000 to foot the surgery myself.

Not sure what exactly I'm looking for. Just whining, I guess. Don't have a forward plan, seems generally hopeless, though I know being this weight next year will seem even more hopeless. I wish desperately that I had a group of folks to work with on this but I have a tendency to withdraw if I'm messing up or not doing as well as I thought. I need a little energy to spark off of and don't have it for myself.

Thanks for listening.

Oh Barbara,

You are not alone. I am feeling discouraged too, I keep doing the right things with the food, but some days am too tired to do the exercise ~ I guess maybe that is why I am not progressing very much. But....

I just wanted to say to you ~ you are not alone and you have done so well ~ please don't give up. I keep trying to think today, not to give in and keep doing the right thing, because even though the scale is not moving, I do feel better ~ that's something.

Hang in there!!!

I'm sorry you're so discouraged. I know for me it seems like sooo much more work to lose than it is to gain.

For the treadmill dilemna, have you tried adding more intense intervals in (run of 1 min, walk for 2, repeat)? Maybe it would be easier on the elliptical to do this as there is no impact & less bouncing (my girls can get out of control with a run!!). I know for me anything over 3.5mph I can't walk it but have to do a jog & with just that little increase in speed means a big increase in effort (ie. I can walk forever but only jog for a couple of minutes). Maybe over time you'll be able to increase your interval lengths & thus increase the intensity of your workout.

Good luck! (& I sure hope I made sense!)

Barbara,

Hi. I feel what you are experiencing. You know what is wrong? It is perfectionism. You are upset that you don't feel like you are doing "well enough", and so you want to give up and not do it at all. You know those old voices in our heads that say "A job worth doing is worth doing right." Let's change those voices. A job worth doing is worth doing, right or wrong! Even a job done badly is better than not doing it at all!

I just bought a new book, and I'm loving what I'm reading. It isn't about rapid weight loss or extreme changes, it is about cultivating a different way of looking at it. Of learning to make the small changes necessary to make gradual progress that we can sustain over the years. It is also about enjoying life, enjoying food, and loving what we are doing. But using our heads so that we can enjoy and love, but not hate OURSELVES because of our choices. About finding the balance between the pleasure of our foods and the narcisism of wanting to look good and feel good within our own skin.

I'm not sure if this new book is going to have within it the answers I've been seeking, but it feels like it. The book is called "French Women Don't Get Fat". It is available from Zooba. I think I needed something other than the "American" approach to weight loss. Maybe you'd like it too.

Barbara -

Let me start off by saying CONGRATULATIONS!!! You lost 85 lbs!!! That is an awesome feat.

Motivation is pretty hard to come by some days. I really liked what this thread had to say about that http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/show...ght=motivation

It's nice to know that you are not alone and I am so glad that you came here to vent instead of hiding out. I hide out sometimes and it does nothing for me. NOTHING.

You have done a great job so far, but since your exercise routine isn't doing it for you anymore, maybe it's time to change things up? Is there a class that interests you? Kickboxing, spinning, anything?

We are here for you!!!

This is just a thought . . . it could be totally off base. Is there something in your life that you were expecting to happen when you lost the weight you have (which is incredible, btw!) that hasn't? Perhaps something not specifically weight related, but adjacent. A relationship issue? Job, clothes, money, life? If you started your journey thinking that something would happen at a certain point and it didn't, then maybe that is what is causing you to be frustrated.

Is there room for me in that boat? Like you all, I seem to have hit a big stall recently (gaining and losing the same 3 or so pounds since mid-March) and just can't seem to burst through. It's so incredibly demoralizing. It seems the only thing I've really lost over the past 5 or so weeks is motivation.

I only wish I had an 80+ pound loss in my pocket already. I only have a 20ish loss. Haven't lost a clothes size. They are somewhat looser, but not falling off by any stretch of the imagination. Heck, I haven't even lost enough for anyone to notice. Not one comment. None.

It's a struggle to do any deliberate "exercise" (lifting, cardio, whatever). I'm still trying, but the enthusiasm isn't there anymore. It used to be somewhat fun (when the 20 was coming off). Now that I'm not getting any reward, it's just drudgery.

I like what you said about perfectionism, Sherry, because that sounds a lot like me. It may have even led to some burn out. I always feel like no matter how much I do, it's obviously never enough. After all, if it were enough, I wouldn't be stalled, would I? Perhaps I need to cut myself some slack...

I had such high hopes. Now I find myself asking if I'd be ok just giving up and staying at this weight... For the record, the answer is no, but I'm not sure if that's good or bad news, because no matter which way I cut it,I feel rotten. I feel rotten for not being naturally slim, I feel cheated that what I'm doing isn't paying off and yet I feel guilty if I don't work on it.

Sounds like the old "rock and a hard place" dilema.

Anyway, long-winded way of saying you're not alone, Keillynsmom.

Thank you all for reading and for responding – it’s one of the wonderful things about this particular group that you are so willing to give encouragement and insight, even to the odd lurker and the occasional reader.

Glynne, Lena, Sandi, thanks for the encouragement. Sometimes you just need some one to hear and know where you are at. No one else in my immediate family or friends or co-workers is as heavy as I am (lots of folks in my extended family though) and I don’t really think they have an idea what it takes out of you some times. Until recently I had a workout partner for the 5 a.m. trip to the Y and that can sometimes be a double edged sword – it was great to have the pressure to be there and someone to work out with but I work out just as hard, just as long, and you can really see the changes in her but me…I suppose it’s the “paper towel” theory in action….

SherryA, I can feel the perfectionism thing ring true. I thought once I got the diet and the intense exercise thing going, the weight would just fly off, a la the Biggest Loser. And it didn’t and I didn’t. I still harbor hopes, though (and a lot of angst that I didn’t get it together last fall or last winter or at the first of the year and where I’d be now if I’d just managed to get a grip back then…). I’ll look for the book – the local paper did a big write up on it when it first came out; I like the idea of the Slow Food movement but between work, the girls and the house, when do you have time? (I know, I know, ya gotta make the time…)

Nancy, that particular question led me to an entire loaf of Hawaiian sweet bread and a special dark chocolate Hershey’s bar. Hit the nail on the head and split it neatly in two. I’ve been working out dedicatedly since Jan 28, 2005 and I was supposed to be someone different by now. Still not sure what to do about the disparity but it's a definite start.

Many thanks!

Barbara, I just wanted to say that I can sympathize with you.
I started losing in September and have lost 80 lbs, but last month was a stressful month, as my 11 year old daughter had surgery, then complications, and now I'm home with her while she recovers, and I'm within 50 feet from the refrigerator most of the day. For the past six weeks, I have recycled pounds. I finally got back on plan two weeks ago, but I have little energy to continue it. Exercise is tedious right now, I never look forward to it anymore.

I don't have any great words of wisdom, except that I understand where you're coming from. Please don't give up, we just have to keep chugging along. Like you said, being this weight next year will be even more hopeless. I do think of that often when I am tired or not motivated, and it does keep me moving along.

For the past six weeks, I have recycled pounds.

What a GREAT expression!!! Hopefully I will not have to use it again but I LOVE it!!!