I recently found out I am pregnant and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I really wanted to be married or at least in a really good relationship and in shape. The guy is a good guy and he is going to be a great dad but I don't know if I see forever with him. I don't want to be with him JUST because of a baby. That is posing a bit of a problem for me so if anyone has any advice about that. Also, I am really concerned that I weigh SO much. Aside from the possibilities of gestational diabetes and hypertension, (this is shallow...) but I want people to be able to tell I am pregnant. Has anyone here been pregnant at around 290lbs? Any tips on having an extra healthy pregnancy? Please let me know. I am feeling kind of lost! Thanks guys.

I don't have any advice about being pregnant or what to do with the person who you are with. I know it is possible to learn to love someone and to learn to love to be with someone if they are a good person. On the other hand, if you have other desires than you may resent being with him eventually.

As far as healthy pregnancy, I've known people who gained very little weight during their pregnancy because they exercised regularly and ate fairly healthy. I'm not sure if it would be recommended for you to actually lose weight but you can make it so that you and your baby are healthy during your pregnancy by focusing on good nutritious foods and healthy exercise.

DON'T GET MARRIED JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE A KID!!!! If you can picture yourself wanting to grow old with him with killing him, that's a good sign. But if you marry because someone tells you it's "the right thing to do", than you'll end up resenting him and yourself and resenting the baby. I have a few friends who have been in this predicament. If he's meant for you, you'll marry eventually. Who said you HAVE to get married before the baby comes? (please, no one hit me, I am certainly not trying to offend anyone. I am religious and I read the Bible. I've seen too many unhappy couples though). If he's the right guy, he won't mind taking his time to figure out if you guys are meant to be together. In the meantime, the two of you can get used to being parents.
As for the health-- my mom LOST 30 pounds when she was preggo with my youngest brother (she was over 300 pounds when she found out she was expecting). She didn't do anything drastic either. She walked a mile 2 or 3 times a week with a friend or me until the 7th month, she swam alot, drank tons o' water, cut down on salt, and made healthier choices like fruit instead of cookies late at night.
One more thing, Congratulations!!!!! I don't know if anyone has told you that yet, but you need to hear it. If you need to, get set up on WIC, medicaid, etc. Take care of yourself!

(((HUGS))) Sarah. While I haven't been in your exact situation, some of my close friends have been. Do you have a good support system of friends and family? I think all the details will become more clear to you once the shock wears off - listen to your heart above all other voices. More than likely you'll look back on these days and realize this was all a blessing in disguise.

I've been obese during both of my pregnancies. My first pregnancy I started at 235 and gained 15 pounds and second pregnancy I started at around 242 and gained 18 pounds. I think I was told to not go over 20 pounds. For me it was easier to make healthier choices when I was pg. There is a section on this board for pregnant and breastfeeding Mom's. I'm sure you can get loads of advise and some commaradary there as well. As far as showing - I didn't "pop" the first time until around 6 months. Only after that did I get that question out in public, "When are you due?" I was a little heavier the second time around and had a flabby tummy to start with, so I don't think I looked "clearly" pregnant until 7 months. I wanted to "look" pregnant earlier, but that's how it was. In these shots I was between 7-8 months - I think I look pregnant (yep, the running shoes with a skirt!) but I also could have just looked "fat" as easily I suppose.

GL and you'll be in my thoughts, Sarah! Sending you lots of wishes for a happy and healthy 9 months! Congratulations!

Congratulations, Sarah! Babies are wonderful!!

I agree--I definitely don't think you should marry him because you're pregnant. You SHOULD marry him if you love him and want to spend the rest of your lives together. Regardless, he will always be in your life because of the baby. Just take it slow and easy. Adjust to being future parents first.

As far as a healthy pregnancy, definitely follow your OB's advice. He/She will give you a meal plan to follow that will nourish your baby while keeping you from gaining alot of weight.

Also, go to the Dieting with Obstacles section of 3FC. You will get lots of good advice there as well.

Congrats and good luck!

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=173 - here's a link to the pregnancy/breastfeeding forum on 3FC.

MomToSweetPeas - love the new pic!!!

Ok, so when I got pregnant with Jacob I weighed 311. And I delivered a very healthy little boy. So it is definately possible to do!!

On the other hand it there were some complications. When they did my C-section (which I would have had even if I was skinny) they had to use extra-long instruments. If they had nicked something while in there, getting to it would have been a problem. They had to trake me beacuse of the weight on my chest. My C-section didn't heal properly beacuse of the weight of my stomach. I am not trying to scare you, just sharing.

My advice to you - be as healthy as possible from this point forward and walk. There is nothing you can change now, so just make the best of it.

Congratulations on your news, Sarah!! Do not marry him just for the sake of the baby. If the time is right for it, you will know in your heart. Take it day by day.

No pregnancy tips, just good vibes from here.

Congrats on the baby! I echo everyone else who said not to get married for the 'sake of the baby'. If it is meant to be then it will happen later on. If you are not already taking a multivitamin please start taking one now. Ask a pharmacist which is the best one for you because you are pregnant. It is very important to get folic acid as it is very important for your baby's neurological development.

With my baby #2 I was about 250. I lost weight through out.
I was 30 lbs smaller when the baby came. It was the first time in my life I could eat and still lose weight. ( I WAS NOT DIETING)...
The sad thing was I still ate that way after the baby was born.
Gained it all back + some.
My obgyn was not concerned at all with my weight loss. The baby was growing and all my blood work was good. He said some overweight people will lose weight life that. ( however I do not think that is the norm)
The baby weighed in at 8lb13oz...
I had a c-section and did great.

As for the father of the baby. I have no advice on that one.
Follow your heart and do not let pregnancy hormones make your decision!

Congrats on the baby.. They are a true gift from God..

I was 280 when I got pregnant. Was about 290 when I gave birth. Just eat healthily -- more fruits and veggies and whole grains and lots of water -- and make sure you move a lot. When I didn't exercise regularly (meaning my thrice-weekly 45 minute walk or some gentle aerobics) I really felt the difference. When I did, it helped keep the normal swelling and water weight down.

Sorry I can't help out with any pregnancy tips - haven't been down that road yet. Do what you feel right in your heart and everything will fall into place. Congratulations!

~Dee

Congradulations Sarah!

Before I got pregnant with my daughter I too said I want to lose 100lbs before I have a baby. Well that didn't happen. After being married for 8 years my hubby and I decided it was time. I was 236lbs when I got pregnant with my daughter and I was so scared that the my ob/gyn was going to yell at me for being so heavy. Well that didn't happen either. I would just simply do everything you can to take care of yourself.
Make sure you are eating healthy and I would still try and corporate a little activity. I did just that and I had an easy pregnancy and an easy delivery. I gained 42lbs, which is over what they say you said gain, but the doctor couln't exacty complain because I was doing everything I was supposed to.
Just take it one step at a time, only because everyone's different and every pregnancy is different as well.

As far as marrying on because of the baby. Not always a good idea. I have had friends in that same situation and it wasn't good.
I will say that a very good friend of mine found herself in that same situation and decided not to rush into getting married. Her and her boyfriend still stayed together. She had the baby and things were great for them. When their son was about 3.5 the decided to go ahead and plan a beautiful wedding. They now have been married for about 5years and have a beautiful daughter as well.
Give it some time. Everything happens for a reason.

The very best of luck to you.
Take care of yourself and your little one.

Leec

I think as long as you can provide this baby with the best life possible, as in a loving mom and dad, who are there for them at all times, with all the stability the baby deserves, you'll be doing the right thing. If you guys seperate this little one will be torn between two homes and two families. That is a rough lifestyle.

Marriage can be scarey. I've noticed so many in my generation that are scared to death to get married. With parents who have divorced, abusive relationships, adultry and all the other crazy stuff that we see.... I think we've set the bar so high to avoid getting hurt that we have gotten the wrong idea about marriage. Like it's supposed to be perfect.

I was a teen mom. Fortunetly the man I was in a relationship with (only two years older than I) was someone I loved and who really loved me. Together we also had a strong faith and dependence on God. We married before our son was born and have had a wonderful 8 years of marriage. It's been tough at times, financial struggles, growth, conflicts.... everything that marriage usually intells. We've figured out that neither one of us is perfect, that there are things we both have to work on, but we trully love eachother.

I wouldn't change a thing about my past. I know things happen for a reason, and I thank God for turning my mistake into one of the best blessings of my life. My precious son and awesome husband, who I know I love more now than before we married.

I'd take a good look at yourself and this man and see if this is something that could work, despite your imperfections.

I hope all goes well with your pregnancy and that you get to see a healthy bundle of joy.

Thank you everyone who has had so many positive things to say about this situation. I am going to take my time and really thing about what I want to do because the guy and I don't live together. We tried it before, two years ago, and it was a disaster. We argue a lot. And, let's just say, it really REALLY only does take one time to get pregnant. Our relationship has been on the rocks for a long time and I'm not sure why we stayed together. He isn't a bad person, just not sure he's the right one for me! As far as the weight issue, I am going to try to eat really healthy and keep exercising. When I go to my prenatal appt. I'll ask about what my limitations will be and for now I'll probably just walk the tredmill and maybe do the elliptical. Any other exercise suggestions are welcomed! Thanks!