I'm sorry that you feel so helpless, Mia. It is no consolation for me to say that so many others feel this too. Weight loss has to come from within. You have to want it bad enough to stop eating the bad foods. Food addiction is very hard to resolve. My suggestion is to work toward eating health today. Don't think long term. Don't think about all the weight you have to lose. If you can do this for one day, then do it again tomorrow. If you slip up, don't look back, just look forward. You can retrain your taste buds to want healthier foods. Therapy would help, but I know not everyone can afford it and some are reluctant to tell their story face to face.
I suggest you stick around here. Find some threads that interest you, and you might find some new friends who will give you the encouragement you need to succeed. You can do this!