[EAH123]

Hello,

I have been dieting for as long as I can remember. I started my first diet as a result of bullying in elementary school. In the many years since my weight has fluctuated up and down, and with it my self-esteem.

Currently I weigh more than I ever have before. My weight gain is due, in part, to a hormonal imbalance which often leaves me feeling out of control and hopeless. Being at my heaviest, I find myself feeling embarrassed and ashamed. These feelings are so intense that they lead me to not want to be around others, especially friends and family. I fear that those who have known me when I was thinner will think less of me because I have gained so much weight. I imagine friends whispering to each other about my size when I am not in the room. I picture my Dad joking with my Mom about how "I've really packed on a few." In my mind my weight is the only thing that anyone notices about me. I fear people will find me disgusting or that they will make jokes at my expense. The embarrassment and shame I feel is overwhelming.

Has anyone else felt this way? Do you have advice on how to prevent your weight from dismantling your self-esteem?

[Mrs. Fat]

Go do a deep psychotherapy that addresses early trauma.

[Mrs. Fat]

Seek a practitioner who can help you address your hormonal issues too.

[raftcub]

I totally agree with Mrs. FAt

[lisawarren]

Hello, I think you need to contact health expert.

[yoyodieter89]

Hi EAH123,

I'm sorry that your weight is causing you to feel this way! It's a terrible feeling and I can certainly relate. I lose and gain the same 10lbs every 4 months or so (hence the name yoyodieter lol) and I always feel ashamed to see family when I'm up. I always feel ashamed at work too, because I feel like my coworkers must notice my never-ending up and down. When I'm up the 10lbs and I'm feeling down on myself, I get back on my healthy eating and exercising, which makes me feel better because it makes me feel like I'm doing something about the problem, and I change my internal dialogue. I'm stuck in this body right now and I can't change that, but I can change what I do about it and every day I'll get better and better. I also have a judgmental family that cracks jokes about weight so I know in the interim it can be hard to face every one, but if you know inside that you're making changes to better yourself, it helps with your self-esteem. I would certainly address the hormonal issues with a specialist, but in the meantime, healthy eating and exercise, even if light, might help to make you feel better about yourself. And I know that's easier said than done. I get stuck in ruts where I know that healthy eating and exercise will make me feel better but for whatever reason, I just can't snap out of my bad eating and not exercising. Like you said, I feel out of control. I tell myself when I get home, I'm not going to eat bad, and then I get home and I eat bad, and then I feel terrible about myself and the cycle continues. At the end of the day, I remind myself that I am the only one that can change it. I can feel bad for myself and make excuses but what does that do? I am the only one that can take the action to change. Even with a hormonal imbalance, you have the ability to make that change for yourself and I encourage you to embrace that sense of control and accountability, as that will help boost your self-esteem!

All the best,
Yoyodieter89

[SugarRomeoTango4852]

Alright, maybe this forum has changed a lot but I am disappointed in the first four responses. While none of them are wrong or mean - none of them show any compassion or helpful advice. Do you think this member has never heard "seek help", "find a nutritionist", etc etc? I 100% guarantee you they have.

EAH123: I have no idea if you are still active on this site (I suspect not since you only posted four times) but I'm going to reply anyway - just in case! and for other folks who struggle with this.
Shame is a horrible, dangerous emotion that often eats us from the inside out but you've taken the first step in naming your shame. I would like to recommend a book that has nothing to do with weight loss but is one of the most transformative books I've ever read (and I read a lot). It's called "I thought it was just me but it wasn't" by Brene Brown and it's and entire book about shame and how it affects us. It's not a dry boring book, I've read it a few times and it strikes me very deeply every time (it's even made me cry) and has given me knowledge about how to confront my own feelings of shame (about weight and many other things).