[Molly1210]

Today I went to the doctor because I have had a persistent cough for some time now. We discussed that for awhile and we sort of came to a conclusion on it. Then, asking if anyone in my family had diabetes, she asked me to step up on the scale. This came as a bit of a shock to me, although I understand it was a completely reasonable thing to ask her obviously overweight patient to do. I was mainly upset by it because I hadn't weighed myself in so long. Living in denial was not the reason for this (although I'm sure there was some avoidance in there). I had actually stopped weighing myself in an attempt to stop linking my self-worth with the number on the scales. I had discussed with my therapist about becoming more mindful and trying to examine how I feel in my body, how my clothes fit and how healthy I feel. I have a long history of issues with my body image, crash dieting, border line eating disorder. However despite all of this I managed to stay in a healthy-ish weight range for my height. When I was about 19, I had to go on medication for anxiety and depression. A combination of this medication and my personal issues with food has meant that I have gained about 140 pound in 6 years. I have more recently been working on trying to relax my relationship with food, giving up diets and body shaming.
When I stood on the scales I got a bit of a shock as I realised that I was too heavy for the scales. When she told me, I started to cry. She was really nice to me while also telling me that I needed to do something. Now however, I am at a point where I have to try to lose weight for my health. I am so worried about becoming obsessed again. I am afraid to go back to some of the mindsets that I have been in. I am worried about failing. I am so worried and upset I cannot fully put it into words. Can anyone who has felt similarly shed some light on how you manage to keep being motivated from becoming obsessed? I'm even frightened of trying to do the things you do in order to become motivated.

[spangled]

Been there. You know what I do when I often restart a diet change? I ease myself in. Maybe the first week I'll cut out something small (like diet soda, or cookie binging). The second week I try incorporating one healthy meal (salad with chicken etc). Then I weigh myself, and then gradually make changes. Maybe I will start walking 6-7 days a week instead of 3-4. Etc Etc. I ease myself into everything.

I too suffer from eating disorders... and they vary from under eating to over eating. I can also become obsessed and over exercise.

I don't know how old you are... but I am in my early 30's and I have to say finally getting a little older made me realize I was doing this for my health only. And in better health I would be happier.

Each day, no each meal I put in my mouth should give me a positive feeling. I am doing better for myself.

I wish I had more advice for you. I know how you feel. I hope you can find the strength to continue and feel better about yourself. (Side note- Sometimes just walking outside will lift your mood and help encourage you.)

[KittyExpress]

I've been there. In fact, I'm there now. I'm struggling to stop myself from becoming obsessive and having eating problems rear their ugly head again. The only real thing that has helped so far is to set myself calorie goals for the day. I eat my TOTAL goal for the day. For instance, if I exercise and burn off 300 cals, then I have to 'eat back' those calories in healthy foods.
That means that if I don't burn off extra calories, I don't eat those extra 300 cals. The ultimate goal is to eat 1300-1500 calories per day by the end of the day, regardless of how much exercise I do.

I always make sure I've reached that goal. That way if I do exercise a lot I still have maintained that base allowance for the day. It's hard, sometimes the temptation is to not eat them so that I have a deficit for the day. But then I remind myself that if I don't eat my body won't allow me to lose weight. End of story. I've proven it time and time again through trial and experience.
Everyone's different, but I know that's what will happen if I don't do the right thing by my body.

[Lunula]

Hi there, Molly - I've been there, as well. My issue was always when I tried not to obsess over my weight, I would obsess over not obsessing - which, of course, means that I was still obsessing.

I've had to completely rework my relationship with food, activity/fitness and myself over the last few years. It hasn't always been easy, and even though I've been maintaining for over 4 years now, I still struggle at times. I began binge eating in college, and really developed a completely disordered way of thinking about food, exercise and my own body. I 100% blame restrictive dieting for developing my eating disorder - I was 135 pounds my freshman year of college, but still felt fat & ugly compared to my friends and that started it all. UGH!

My journey really started in pieces - my husband felt he needed to get in shape and he lost about 45 lbs. I still wasn't doing anything at that point, but we were eating better, not going out much, etc. Just having his support was super important. I lost a few pounds as he was getting in shape, then I got some Zumba DVDs for Christmas (I asked for them) and started doing that at home - realized I really enjoyed it, so I stuck with it. About a month later I joined Weight Watchers online. A couple weeks after that I joined the YMCA so I could take more classes. I didn't do it all at once (though that definitely works for some people) - I kind of just chose one thing to work on at a time and when that became habit, I moved to something else. I didn't really plan it that way, but it totally worked.

Not to mention, I started this a few months before turning 40 - which was a major turning point in my life. I really reflected a lot on my 20s and 30s and just didn't want to live another decade like that. We can't have kids, so it's just the 2 of us - and I couldn't expect my husband to take care of me if I wasn't willing to take care of myself. I also destroyed my knees playing sports in high school and was facing total knee replacement. Losing weight helped (though I did end up having one knee replaced this past December) - it's tough knowing that my weight all those years really was responsible for having a total knee replacement at 43. It was brutal, absolutely brutal - and I still haven't fully recovered, 8 months later. I am getting down to my "ultimate goal" now to hopefully save my other knee for a few more years. I can't even think of going through that again.

Variety was really important for me to 'stick with it' all these years. I've tried a lot of classes and activities, I've read many books, watched documentaries, tried different tools (WW online, MyFitnessPal, WW meetings, etc.) and tried different gadgets (my current favorite is my FitBit Charge HR). When I get bored with one thing, I try something new.

Finally, having a support network has been key. My husband has been great, I've made friends at the YMCA after taking so many classes and also here on 3FC, in WW and other friends & family. My ortho surgeon and my primary care doctor were also both really supportive and excited for my weight loss.

Good luck to you - I struggled for many years, and still do, but it's definitely a journey worth beginning.