I'm on the verge of turning 21 and I decided to get my act together. I'm going to be getting a new job, I'm heading into college in about 2 months, and I've started getting treatment for emotional problems, which have helped tremendously with my motivation for losing weight and I've lost 19 lbs so far. Over these past few months people have been starting to get really bad attitudes with me for some reason. I have 2 friends who I used to be ultra close with, and I'm at that point where I'm confident to state my own opinion on things even if that means losing friends. I speak in a respectful manner but, yet I got labled as an immature ****.

I don't know if they were pissed I had the nerve to say things that go against their will or whatever, but what's done is done.

My one friend got pissed because I stated the truth on a matter that didn't concern her.

My other friend I lost today got pissed because I'm outspoken. As far as I'm concerned it's a part of growing up. You can't say what people want to hear all the time. It's a skill I'll need in life.

I don't get how one of them who is 17 can call me immature when she quit her job, got pregnant and then got dumped by the same guy who cheated on her with his roomate.

the other friend just thought she was too big for her britches and started **** and i finished it.

I ****ed up in life a lot, but I'm getting past all that! and it's not like i say this to make them sound bad or anything like that, it's just I don't see where I'm being immature, but whatever the case may be i feel like this is going to happen a lot more in my life and im prepared to lose people because it's a part of growing, but why now just as im starting out?

LittleMissWarhead Sometimes we just "outgrow" friends. It sucks, but it happens. I've been down that road more times than I really care to count. But I remembered one thing each time, I HAVE TO BE HONEST WITH ME!!

I am the one who has to live with myself & my choices. I have to take into account my feelings & since I'm married, those of my husband. I had a close family member who was like a sister to me for many, many years. She felt no qualm about belittling my husband. She didn't get that belittling him equaled belittling me, because I choose him to be my life partner. The relationship ended almost 4 years ago & I haven't regretted it. Yes, I've missed her, but I will no keep apologizing for her actions. She knows she treated both of us shabbily & made no attempt to change so I decided my time & effort was better spent elsewhere.

Now in regards to your friends, maybe they are jealous that you are trying to do better for you. For some that causes them to have to look a little more closely at their lives. And that might not be what they want to do. Need to do, perhaps, but not want to. If they are not going to support you in your endeavors, why should be their support? Friends, real friends work together to bring out the best in one another.

Second, I didn't want to bring up age, but that does need to be considered. (I HATE to bring up age, because being the youngest of 7, I often get treated like I don't understand things) Some people as they get older & experience more & more, get out into the work world & other things that go with that, they mature. But then age doesn't not always equal maturity, which is really, really sad. That is their burden to bare & you don't need to put up with it if you find it hinders you in your journeys.

Sounds like you have your head on straight. You may have a bobble or 2 along the way, but don't give up. You will find good people to be a part of your life, it just might take a little time.

REMEMBER THIS: IT IS BETTER TO BE ALONE THAN TO HAVE UNSUPPORTIVE/TOXIC PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE! I learned that one the hard way. This applies to family members as well.

Good luck & don't give up!!

It is probably because you are - as you say - starting out. By implication that means that how things were was not good enough for you.

It may be that it still feels good enough for your friends and they are reacting to that. This should not stop you from moving forwards.

Also if you are changing, you are no longer predictable to them. Predictability is the foundation of trust, so in the past they knew what they could rely on from you in response to what they did. It may not have been healthy or positive, but it was predictable and that is no longer the case.

Just keep making the changes you need to make. You might be able to explain to them so that they can adapt, or you may persist long enough that you become predictable to them again but that is not likely in the short term.

Good luck, keep working through your issues and keep moving forward. You never know, it might inspire your friends to start to seek to make changes for the themselves (probably not, but you can hope).

College is a great place to meet new friends. You get to be the person you want to be, and they don't know who you used to be (if that makes sense.) This will be a great time for you to express your new confidence in yourself.

Enjoy college, let the old friends go.

People, friends, co workers, etc., will come and go through life.

That's just how it works.

If they are not beneficial, to your plan, and create a toxic friendship, let it go!

Quit worrying about a closed door. And look to the door that has opened up for you!

My only suggestion is that you might just do a quick check on what you said and how you said it. Did you say something in a manner that might have made your friend feel judged, insulted or attacked? If so, consider carefully how you word things. There's often a way to make the exact same point with more charity towards the person you're addressing, if that makes sense. But some people are just overly sensitive and dramatic, and if that's what you're dealing with here, there's not much you can do besides move on.