Yes, that's it. I AM DONE.
I've given up on the "losing weight".

I've been doing it all my damn life. Lose 10, gain 15, Lose 20, gain 30, etc. Worked my way up to 192 lbs a couple years ago. But even after losing 39 pounds (in 2 years!) I now have gained 16 back and am sick to death of thinking/worrying/dealing with it. I'm almost 50 years old. I've been doing this since I was a child. A CHILD. So basically FORTY YEARS!!! I've gained & lost weight so many times in the past that I have gone to extremes, given up foods I love, ate stupid foods (if you can call it "food"!) mixed shakes, counted calories, dumped carbs, overloaded on protein, said no to desserts, refused wine at parties, and made myself literally miserable. I don't like being fat. In fact, I hate it so much that I nearly killed myself a few times just to BE THIN. Now, in my years of wisdom, I'm here to say that IT IS NOT WORTH IT. My health is extremely important to me. Before, especially in my youth... teen years, 20's, 30's.. even my 40's! - it was all vanity. "Gotta get into those jeans".... "gotta look good in a swim suit"... "gotta keep the man interested"... well, NO MORE! From now on, it is ALL about my health. Vanity be damned! - I am in this for my health! - My heart! My blood sugar! My joints! My sanity, for crying out loud. I will no longer judge me based on my weight. Thinness does NOT equal health!! And fatness never did anything for me. I'm no longer aiming for a particular number on the scale. No longer trying to fit into any one specific outfit or certain size of clothing. I will eat healthy foods, I will eat when I'm hungry, I will have a dessert when I feel like it, I will enjoy a glass of wine, I will exercise & move my body so that I CAN move my body when I'm old & grey & tired & worn. BUT I AM NO LONGER A SLAVE TO THE WEIGHT, NO LONGER FOOD'S B****!! There. That's better.

WOO WOO, I'm happy to see you back here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your attitude is what everyone should have - deprivation breeds nothing but resentment and the terrible rebound!

I loosened up a LOT on worrying about weight and food (chose to focus on eating healthy vs eating as little as possible, and started lifting weights) and several pounds melted off as if by magic. It was like not worrying literally dumped weight off. That can and totally does happen to a lot of people who decide to restore their trust in themselves

I feel the same!! I never ever want to diet ever again. Unlike you, i am more worried about my mental health than my physical health. I want to control my eating so that i no longer binge and no longer rely on food to comfort me all the time. That is my only goal...to break the food addiction. I want to lose weight too, but dieting is not worth it. I want to eat without obsession every day for the rest of my life.

That was my favorite part

I noticed after being at this for quite a a while that when I eat healthy foods and move my body I feel better and even when I take a break from dieting--I don't eat the way that I used to eat because it makes me feel like garbage. I'm pretty sure you're at that point yourself so congrats to you! I've learned that to be healthy and happy I have to live in balance and one end of the scale versus the other end the scale isn't worth it, or healthy. I still need to lose about 25 pounds to get into the healthy end of the BMI scale but I don't care if it takes me one year, two years, or three years! I am living a different lifestyle now and focused on being a healthy me!

Light weight! Nothin' but a peanut!

Great post, Beach Patrol. I agree 100%.

Back
You don't have to please anyone But Yourself

Some Ridiculous number on a Scale does not define who any of us are!!

Fat! ,Skinny ..or somewhere in between does not Make us Better or Worst!

We need to love ourselves for Who We Are !!....Not what we Weigh!

I am So Happy that you came back here and I want to offer my support to you in anyway that will be helpful.

I am No Happier that I am Thinner ! My Happiness is not tied to a number on the scale...for me it Never was.

I was disappointed in myself for letting my weight get out of control and impact my health negatively...but I never had self loathing....I know what kind of person I am .....What's on the inside to me .....is the Most Important part of a person!

I have always told my children ....you don't Have to be The Prettiest,Smartest, Most Athletic,The Most Talented ....All you have to be Is My Child!!!
And that is the same thing I thing about my friends too!

Once we accept and love ourselves ...we are able to free ourselves to address whatever issues we have to deal with in our life.

So glad that you are still here and standing among us.
I am glad you have come to terms with food, and do what works for you.

That is what we all strive to do ..is try to figure out a way to make this thing work for us in the healthiest way possible.

Sending Positive thoughts your way,Roo2

Glad to see you!!! I agree. I'm really really working hard on that exact thing! I don't wanna be food's b!^%& anymore either!!!

I am with ya..that is EXACTLY what I am doing!!!!!! and it's working..I'm losing and happy...not miserable

I'm with nightowl and beachpatrol! I've grown so tired of depriving myself. Now if I want it I have it, I'm just a little smarter about it now.

If it takes a year, or five so be it.

Beautifully stated.

F.

I have written and said the words "I am done" more times than I can count recently....but I still remember the very day when I first had this "I AM DONE" moment....and it was liberating!

Like you, I'm not prepared to count another calorie, carb, point or anything else. In February I lost 6 lbs in 3 weeks doing very low-carb; it was pretty easy, I wasn't hungry, and the cravings were pretty much gone. But then I realized I just wasn't going to eat like that for the rest of my life, so I had to make a decision as to what direction to go. I'd been exposed to intuitive eating before that time but couldn't wrap my head around it; however, when that I AM DONE moment hit, I decided that it wouldn't hurt to give it a try. I knew one thing - there was no more dieting for me for the rest of my life. Done. Finito. Over.

I also knew that unless I completely pigged out on everything and anything (which you and I both know we will not do), chances are I won't gain any more weight. I might lose some, I might not....the extra 20 lbs aren't going to kill me. But taking them on and off and on and off - and making myself completely miserable in the process - is going to do far more damage than the extra weight itself.

And I believe, based on your post, that you probably feel exactly the same way. I read your post over, and over, and over again. Because it was me - 100% totally me - and I completely understand. I applaud you for your honesty.

And don't be surprised if you start dropping weight naturally - I know I have, even without jumping on and off the miserable contraption known as the scale. I got rid of that b**** too!

Great post! I like the positive reinforcement I get from seeing the numbers go down on the scale, for sure. But, at this point in my "dieting career" (and at this age), I just like FEELING BETTER. I can run up the stairs, I feel less encumbered, restricted. That's what it's all about for me.

See, this is the problem I have: I'm not sure that I wouldn't do that. There have been many times in the past when I've been so disgusted with dieting that I just didn't care anymore and ate the way I wanted. I've found, though, that I seem to gradually increase my "tolerance" for overeating. For instance, lately, I've gotten to the point where one Starbuck's pastry with my morning coffee doesn't satisfy me; at least half the time now, I have two (and end up blowing my lunch calories so that I cannot eat until dinner). In other words, my tolerance for "pigging out" increases. This pattern may be me "reacting" to the limits of dieting, but frankly, I think that I react to many limits that way. Boundaries? I don't like 'em! But the fact is that I need them. So, no matter what, I will have to exercise self-control somehow. Right now, I don't trust myself to do that by intuition (mine stinks), so I do it by calorie counting.


Beach Patrol, I took a long break from this forum over the holidays, and when I came back I was wondering what had happened to you; I didn't see any of your posts, and I had always enjoyed reading them. I can see that you've reached a turning point, and actually, I wish I had the courage to try doing the same. I've always kind of thought about this common-sense approach: Why don't we all just eat at what we logically know is a "moderate" level and exercise at the level with which we're comfortable and let the weight fall where it may? I have a feeling that if most of us really did that, we would probably weigh more than when we're stringently watching our weight, but I'll bet it still wouldn't lead to being very overweight and that we would be happier in the long run. The only reason I hesitate to do it is that I'm not sure I have the willpower to stop at "moderate" without some sort of outside guideline (e.g., calorie counting), and I'm too vain right now to even want to gain five pounds.

I wish you the best! You seem liberated!

lin43, I completely get where you're coming from. You should absolutely stick with what you're comfortable with & what works for you. I don't believe IE is for everyone, and I also believe that it isn't right until the individual has decided two important things:

1) They will never diet again in their life, ever, no matter what. (I'm 61, I'm sure my age has something to do with it)
2) They accept the fact that if they follow the tenets of IE they may never lose another pound. And I'm there as well, even though I was not initially.

Something tells me BeachPatrol is there, or is getting close. You know your own self better than anyone, and from what you've described about your own situation, I believe you need to stay with what works for you, and right now that's calorie-counting.