need to rant....

  • My ma in law has lots loads of weight in the past year. She is still extremely complexed about her weight. She is very very smart and looks and clothes mean alot to her. Ive also lost weight recently and since we live close by we see her on a weekly basis and every time i see her she ALWAYS comments to me about my weight loss and i cant bear it. Sometimes its in a positive way, other times its in times where shes like so complexed about herself and takes it out on me...really drives me mad. I have lost weight but like i have a ton more to lose and i hate her going on about it. I just ignore it and try to respond as little as possible but i wish she would just get over it. I want to get back into my exercise and if i do lose weight part of me just cant face her and her comments!
  • I know how you feel. Comments are great sometimes, but other times you just wish you were like a caterpillar and could crawl into a chrysalis and just pop out when you're done.

    It's really hard to say something because people can get defensive (since they're essentially giving what they believe are compliments) and I don't know how your MIL might react.

    I did mostly grinning and bearing it when my family or friends commented EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I saw them. I too started to dread seeing them or even losing weight because it eventually got to the point where people would start asking me questions I didn't want to answer (how much more weight I wanted to lose, what did I weigh when I started, etc.)...so I started getting sarcastic. When people said: "OH MY GOD YOU LOST WEIGHT" I would say something like: "woah! I had no idea! I wondered why my clothes were big on me!"

    Luckily a majority of my crew would just say: "You look great!" and then move on to whatever we were talking about.
  • I know what you mean. My mom has made a hurtful comment in the past, also, although she flat out called me fat. The thing with mothers is unlike everyone else we can't really tell them off. LOL. I would just tell her that it really bothers you when she brings it up, and that you'd really rather she didn't. If she's caring at all, she'll honor your request. Otherwise you'll either have to grin and bear it, or avoid her, depending.
  • Maybe you could be very upfront with her,it might startle her .
    You could say yes I know I'm fat I'm addressing things I want to change in my life in a positive way and that's the only way I plan on moving forward.
    Life is too short to allow people to steal your Joy.
    Good Luck,Roo2
  • My mom is the queen of making insulting or ignorant comments. She rarely has anything nice to say and when she does she follows it up with a crude comment. It is really hard to listen to the comments week after week but sadly enough you can't put other people on mute.

    Talking to my mom about her behavior was not helpful, she would just laugh off my feelings and accuse me of being juvenile. It took awhile but I learned that you can't say anything other people say to heart. Comments like that are usually made by people that are insecure about something themselves. They are uncomfortable in there own skin and want to bring someone down with them.

    Don't let them take you down to, nod, smile and move on
  • I am in the same situation. When i was living in Seattle, my boyfriend's mom lost 70 lbs and she came over with all her diet food. Ok, that was fine, you eat your diet food because that was what worked for you. But then she started commenting on how I should try it because I OBVIOUSLY needed to loose weight. I kinda just grinned and bared it. But then she took over my kitchen for a week and started cooking all these fatty foods and DIDNT EAT ANY OF IT. Sure, my boyfriend was happy cause he dosent care, but this woman took over my kitchen, when ever i went to make something for myself she would be over my shoulder like "you shouldnt do that" or "i'll be cooking soon" B*TCH gtfo!

    Sorry....

    But let me put it this way, you have to live with you and your own mind for the rest of your life. You can easily walk away from some one else if you dont like what they are saying.

    Quote: I too started to dread seeing them or even losing weight because it eventually got to the point where people would start asking me questions I didn't want to answer (how much more weight I wanted to lose, what did I weigh when I started, etc.)...so I started getting sarcastic. When people said: "OH MY GOD YOU LOST WEIGHT" I would say something like: "woah! I had no idea! I wondered why my clothes were big on me!"
    LOVE THIS ^