it seems like my relationships with different people are changing due to weight loss.
with some people, there are less things in common because i'm careful about food and do not gorge myself the way i used to with food and drink.
being active and fit has become one of my hobbies. taking yoga/ dance classes are really fun to me and i have some friends who can't relate to that.
these things don't really bother me, but i do have to adjust. with some friends, the only things we did for fun was eat so sometimes it's a task to find something else to do if i'm already at my calorie limit.
the one thing that bothers me, are the people that seem to be resentful and meaner to me now that i've lost weight and am smaller than they are. it seems like maybe they were okay with themselves as long as i was still obese and fatter, but now that i'm at a healthy weight range for my height, they can be cutting with their comments.
it's weird how some people held their tongues and didn't make comments when i was obese but now that i'm thinner they feel like they have the right to nitpick about my size or appearance. it's starting to make me angry.
I think many of us have experienced relationship changes due to weight loss and healthier lifestyle. I've had several friends drift away. One seemed jealous and seemed to take my new lifestyle as some sort of judgement on her own (which was never something I thought of let alone intended her to feel) and another friend was mostly a friend I ate restaurant meals with and she doesn't do any of the same activities I do and so we rarely see each other now. I am fortunate in that my DH is 100% supportive and has never acted threatened, jealous, suspicious or anything else negative about my attempts to get healthier. I do miss friends, though. I recently signed up at MeetUp in my area for a couple of groups- one is a women's group for women my age, and the other is an outdoors lovers group.
One thing that has changed a lot about me on this journey is I no longer tolerate having soul-sucking, happiness destroying, toxic people in my life. I don't judge other people and I'm not a mean person, and they need to not judge me or be mean, if they want to be in my life.
Most of my friends are quite healthy eaters so I'd probably fit in more if I did too! I do worry a little though, I wonder if my friends prefer me fat. Like, they say I am the best because I am cuddly...If ever I moaned before of my weight, a friend said so, that it is just how I should be. Being tactful or the truth?? I think they see me as kind of unsexual and innocent sweet hahahaa!! I think i I got real attractive like fit and muscley pin up, they think it too strange!! I can't see my body ever going like that though.
I do have one friend, I joke he is my fat friend (he is fat, but a little less so than me, seems quite comfortable with it though). Most of what we do together is eat. When we first met, a mutual friend told him I was the only guy who could eat more than him, he could not beleive it, this set the tone for the friendship! I don't know what he'll make of my weight loss efforts.
I've noticed that people are actually nicer to me. Elderly people initiate small talk when waiting in line, store clerks actually acknowledge me when I enter their stores, and I recieve attention from men that I never used to.
It makes me a little resentful, to be honest.
But I'm lucky enough to say that my personal relationships haven't changed at all. Although my roommate has become very self-conscious, and often complains about how "fat" he thinks he is. I really hope that doesn't have anything to do with me.
I have had to find bunch of whole new friends... the weightloss triggered resentment and jealiousy from a majority of my "friends"
but I didnt mind much, I relaized how toxic most where
When it comes to personal relationships, I think I isolated myself too much to really notice a difference at my highest weight from where I'm at now, plus moving out of state to start my life over about halfway through my progress has made it difficult to make any comparisons. People who knew me at my highest don't know me anymore, and people who know me now didn't know me at my highest. I doubt things will change much for me with that aspect either way, since I'm not very social these days and my family seems very supportive of whatever I do.
I did lose a good amount of weight several years back, to the point where I felt like my figure was finally starting to show, and it caused a lot of tension between me and a jealous coworker. Snarky, condescending, and critical remarks about my weight loss and food choices came along at an endless stream from her, even though she had been fully supportive of me back when I was still bigger than her. Had something like that happened today, I imagine I'd handle it a lot better (this was about 12-14 years ago).
I've noticed that people are actually nicer to me. Elderly people initiate small talk when waiting in line, store clerks actually acknowledge me when I enter their stores, and I recieve attention from men that I never used to.
From strangers, this has been my experience as well. The more weight I lose, the more strangers seem willing to make eye contact with me and talk. It seemed like before people averted their eyes from me, as though they couldn't see me.
The next time someone says something, I'd just turn and with no judgement, no anger in your voice say "Why would you say that?" And then just say nothing and make them answer. Sometimes people don't consciously realize what they're doing, and they have to be confronted with it.
changing relationships due to weight loss
Had something like that happened today, I imagine I'd handle it a lot better (this was about 12-14 years ago).
