Almost to my goal... yet still capable of MAJOR binges. Huh???!
Since summer, I have gone through a huge transformation. I exercise regularly, eat waaaay better than all my life, and (the best part ) have lost a lot of weight!
BUT
This is what baffles me. I am still capable of having disgusting urges to binge (and following through) with huge binges once in a while. I really thought that would had gone away by now. My friends all see this new hot me wearing tight little dresses and having the time of my life.
.............................................And little did they know, when they all left a day early for spring break, I went to the store and ate a whole frozen pizza by myself, a whole box of crackers with a whole BLOCK of cheddar cheese, and an entire container of sugar cookies from the bakery section. I added it up and it came to over 4000 calories.
And the thing is, I totally enjoyed it and my stomach could totally handle it. I haven't done it since, but it still freaks me out that I'm still capable of that no matter how different and successful I have become.
I hear that for binge eaters, or for severely obese people, the urge to binge never fully leaves; it's just something you learn to control and live with. Don't take my word for it, though, I could be wrong.
I too have had issues with binging. I try to think
What is the physical cause? Do I have trigger foods? (for me it was anything that affects my blood sugar...bad cycle)
What is the emotional cause? What is it that compels me to binge?
I also binge after people leave! I like to have my alone time, cause I grew up pretty alone, and I feel most comfortable eating alone, so if I don't have that after a while, I try to sneak away and eat a lot alone-whenever I find moments to. Eating for me is both emotional and physical nourishment, I feel recharged when I eat in privacy.
I try to do something about trigger foods (reducing or eliminating) and emotional issues (trying to find an outlet about stress, or just telling myself not to stress out or just dealing with it straight up) and it helps, I don't know if it ever goes away or not, but I find that going after some of the things that cause me to binge reduces the urge.
I read something interesting yesterday about binging: This psychologist said that the major urge to binge or to give into a craving lasts approx. 15 minutes. She suggests that when the urge to binge strikes, set a timer or some sort of stop watch for 15 minutes (you can use your phone timer). Then, tell yourself that if that craving is as intense in 15 minutes, you can eat what you want. But for that 15 minutes, remove yourself from the temptation and wait it out. The idea is that setting the timer and knowing that you have that finite period to wait will allow you to take a deep breath, think logically about what's driving your desire, and curtail or eliminate the binge completely.
I plan on trying that strategy. Although I do sometimes have what I refer to as mini-binges (e.g., 4 pieces of pecan pie in about 1/2 hour), mostly I just overeat. I've found that if I can just resist the immediate temptation to grab it and eat it, I'm usually okay afterwards, i.e., the craving is only there for a short period of time---which makes me think that that psychologist is onto something. For instance, this week, I've committed to eating at a losing calorie range (even though I'm maintaining) because lately I've been overeating, and I feel out of control. To that end, I've vowed not to bring anything into the house that I know is a trigger food. Today, I was in the grocery store, and was faced with one of my trigger foods: my favorite crunchy peanut butter granola bars were on sale. I wanted them so badly! However, knowing that if I could just resist that immediate urge I would feel better afterward, I walked away from them. This allowed me to think about it: I told myself that the sale lasts until next Saturday, and I can buy those bars at the end of this week if I still want them. Also, I asked myself was it really worth saving a bit of money to put myself under that temptation all week. I resisted, and I'm so glad I did. If I hadn't, I think I would have somehow talked myself into eating at least two tonight.
I think time (and distance in some cases) is our friend when it comes to binges and cravings.
Binges happen to people of all sizes and stages. I had buffet and party food binges regularly at my lowest weight - people would wonder "how does she eat all that and stay slim?" I balanced it out by eating super spartan and cleanly except for those occasions, but then I started having emotionally driven, hateful binges that left me sick and disgusted with myself. Now, a few lbs heavier, I don't ever have emotional binges, but sometimes I will eat a LOT more than I "should."
My view on this is that the urge to EAT never goes away, and it's OKAY to EAT sometimes - it's all a balancing act.
Almost to my goal... yet still capable of MAJOR binges. Huh???!
) have lost a lot of weight!
