I've dieted and given up so many times I've lost count. Each time I tell myself, 'It's different this time. Today is the day it all ends! I will never be this size again!' But inevitably, after fifteen or so pounds, when the scales just aren't giving me the motivation I need, I give up for another few months and by the time I'm ready to diet again I've gained back all the weight I lost and then some.
This time I've told myself it really is different. I'm 23 years old and 300 pounds -- something has to change or I'm going to be miserable and alone for the rest of my life.
But how do I stay on track? How do I stop myself from falling back into the pattern of eating terribly and watching the scales creep up and up?
just keep checking in here! jump on to one of the daily weigh in's or check ins. keep yourself accountable and come here to browse when you're feeling down or when you're feeling like you want to eat something bad. you can do this!!
its so helpful knowing that other people are feeling the way you do, other people are hitting the same walls as you are. and then of course there are the people who went through it and had this amazing transformation.
if you haven't already, i suggest you check out the goal photos thread to see that this CAN be done!
You just have to keep going... that's the hardest part. I second looking at the goal photo album.. its very inspiring. If you really want it, youll do what needs to be done to get to goal. After those 15lbs come off, don't let yourself fall.. youre better than that!
3FC is a VERY useful tool and the people here are very helpful and knowledgeable. Keep coming back.
Last edited by kateleestar; 03-14-2012 at 08:56 AM.
Maybe consider taking an "explorer" perspective. You are traveling this unknown region and your job is to take notes and see what works or doesn't.
So which ones did you try? What about these diets worked/did not work for you?
If the scale is becoming your mood meter... what about going without a scale? What about using a tape measure? What about using nothing?
And what mental work are you doing to prepare for maintaining? Because that's basically putting in just as much work to STAY STILL. Not losing or gaining much. Just holding in place.
If your motivation is seeing scale move down, what will be your motivation to maintain?
Last but not least -- break it up in chunks. When the weight loss is big, it may be easier to lose it 10 lb at a time with some mental breaks in between.
If it makes you feel any better... I've lost and regain 80 lbs. I was within 20 lbs of goal... and slowly over years it came back on. So I know I can lose and I'm good at it. And I know I still don't know how to maintain. And here's what I've learned in my exploring...
1) Ok, it might take a few passes thru "losing" so I can take several stabs at maintaining to learn the skills. Fine.
2) Dude, next time at least keep up with the weigh ins even if the formal exercise and food log go to pot! Because then I can try to stop the slide at regaining 20, 40. Not all the way back to 80 back on!
3) It might take time. But the only way I FAIL fail is to quit. Trying is to have hope. It's fine to have to take a mental health break, but I will not FAIL fail. I will keep trying.
Keep coming here. Always come here when you feel like giving up. You already said that this time is different! You came here for support and if you ask me that's the best 1st start! Remember nothing in life worth having comes easy. *hugs*
just keep checking in here! jump on to one of the daily weigh in's or check ins. keep yourself accountable and come here to browse when you're feeling down or when you're feeling like you want to eat something bad. you can do this!!
its so helpful knowing that other people are feeling the way you do, other people are hitting the same walls as you are. and then of course there are the people who went through it and had this amazing transformation.
if you haven't already, i suggest you check out the goal photos thread to see that this CAN be done!
This post made my day. I've felt like the OP before and been in the same position. But since I've joined the site and downloaded the MyFitnessPal app, I've been more motivated than ever! Just visualize myself how I want to be. I also find it helps to set little mini goals to keep you on track
I would also suggest checking out the 300 lb. club or the 100 lb. club; you will get lots of advice on committing for the long haul from those of us who have significant amounts of weight to lose and know what it's like to hang in there through the slow times.
You should stay with it because while being 23 and 300 pounds is difficult, I promise you being 25 and 400 pounds is more difficult (that was me two months ago). Your weight problem is only going to get worse if you continue to eat bad, and trust me it gets MUCH WORSE. As another forum member said: (or blog, can't remember) losing weight is HARD. Being obese is HARD. Choose your hard.
Diets never work. The only thing that works is making permanent lifestyle changes that support a healthy weight and exercise plan. This takes time to establish the new habits. A great deal of weight loss is having the confidence that you can do it. As soon as self doubt creeps in, the battle is about to be lost.
Last edited by QuilterInVA; 03-14-2012 at 01:28 PM.
i've been massively overweight for a long time - i LIKE being big: it relieves me of a lot of social obligation and expectation.
at 38, i was told i needed to lose weight (i was "only" 180 then) but was otherwise in fantastic shape thanks to previous history of bodybuilding and powerlifting.
at 40, i had a surprise baby - she'll be 5 on the 16th.
at 43, i was told i was unlikely to make it to 50.
if i do not lose this excess weight, i am looking at a hip replacement (legacy of an undiagnosed and untreated hip socket fracture after a slip-and-fall while carrying my newborn - slipped on slick clay mud underneath leaves on the sidewalk, didn't let her go, so landed full weight on my right hip and elbow clutching her up in the air over me) which means i'd need to lose weight before the surgery would be approved. otherwise, i will be attending her high school graduation in a wheelchair because my arthritis-eaten hip will not be able to tolerate my bodyweight.
that's if i don't die of a stroke because when i was pregnant, my previously exceptionally low blood pressure (usually 100/50 to 110/60, pulse high 40s) shot sky-high and i developed toxemia. they said it would go away once i delivered the baby but they didn't mention that i'd have to lose the weight as well. so my kidneys will be shot before long, assuming i don't stroke out.
and just to put the cherry on top, i'm developing diabetes - i can't eat stuff like sugar or bread because i can't stop once i start and it makes me dizzy and groggy.
the non-negotiator for losing the weight is my mental image of my gorgeous little girl having to introduce this fat, straggly-grey-haired old woman covered in cat hair and sitting in a motorized wheelchair or an electric scooter as her mother, not her crazy old grandmother. at 67, technically i'll be old enough to be her great-grandmother by that point! and, even worse, her having to hold up a picture of her mother, gone these many years.
you need to find your non-negotiator - the one thing you will not compromise on - and THAT is when you will commit to doing what you need to do to reach the goals you think are just a pipe dream right now.
Last edited by threenorns; 03-14-2012 at 01:39 PM.
I agree 100% with astrophe's post. About 6-7 years ago, I had lost weight and vowed that it would be the last time. Then, I started a new job and over the next couple of years, regained every pound I lost and then some. I was so discouraged that for years I couldn't imagine being thin ever again. I resigned myself to a life of being fat and dreading any season that would require me to show more skin.
However, for some reason, last summer, I figured I would try something drastic, something that I didn't necessarily think I would be on "for the rest of my life" (sometimes just that phrase alone is enough to scare you from starting a plan). I did the 17-day diet for a week, lost about 5 lbs. I think (didn't weigh myself, but my pants were a bit looser), and just that bit of success made me believe that I really could lose weight again. So, I started calorie counting---1400 per day. I cycled my calories so that my plan would fit more easily into my lifestyle (my husband & I eat out at fine dining restaurants during the summer, and I needed extra calories for those days). I also committed to 1-2 hours of some activity per day. I would incorporate activity into my daily life---ride my bike to the library, park farther away, etc. Also, my house was really clean as I counted vigorous housework as activity. I'm a born multitasker, so it felt good to me to exercise and get something accomplished.
It worked! And you know what, I didn't weigh myself at all (no, not once) during my weight loss (not even in the beginning, so my starting weight is an estimate). I wanted to focus on establishing good habits rather than the scale. So, as long as I was meeting my habit goals, I was a success!
Now that I'm maintaining, I do step on the scale about twice a month. The thing is, I tried to identify the mistakes I made during the last regain and the main two were . . .
1) Ignoring reality (this includes avoiding the scale during maintenance, not tracking my calories when I believe that I won't like the result, pretending that licks/bites/tastes don't add up, etc.). I will never avoid reality again, no matter how unpleasant it is to face.
2) Giving up - In the past, if I overate, I would just throw in the towel for the day and not even exercise. Now, when I overeat, the temptation to do the same thing is there, but I do not succumb to it. I think one of the main differences between regainers and maintainers is that the latter group doesn't quit.
So, make a list of reasons why you regained in the past, and make a special effort to avoid doing those things. You CAN do this!
Thank you so much for your advice, guys. This place really is awesome and so supportive.
I am going to work hard at an overall lifestyle change because I suffer from PCOS and really need to watch my sugar and insulin levels. That's something I'll have to do for the rest of my life. But I'm just so eager to lose weight and kind of impatient! I want to start my life already!
You should stay with it because while being 23 and 300 pounds is difficult, I promise you being 25 and 400 pounds is more difficult (that was me two months ago). Your weight problem is only going to get worse if you continue to eat bad, and trust me it gets MUCH WORSE. As another forum member said: (or blog, can't remember) losing weight is HARD. Being obese is HARD. Choose your hard.
I completely agree, and I have no doubt that if I continue on the path I'm on, I'll continue to gain weight until I probably kill myself. And I love that quote!
You'd be hard-pressed to find anyone on this message board who hadn't attempted weight loss at least once in the past and didn't attain his or her goal.
I tried so many times, some serious, some not-so-serious, and didn't attain my goal. Obviously you'll find tons of advice on 3FC.
For me, there were so many "tipping points" - but it was never that "Eureka!" moment where I just woke up and went cold turkey and lost all the weight. It has been a series of good days and bad days, successes and failures along with a lot of self-reflection. In the end, it's about not giving up and making a serious attempt at changing your life. It isn't about losing all the weight in 3 months. It isn't about dropping all the weight for your wedding. It isn't about a quick-fix - it's about making a long-term committment to yourself and sticking to it, even when you have crappy moments.
Try, really try, to find ways to turn your failures into opportunities. Why did you fail? What were your triggers? What small things can you improve? Who supported you? What moments were you strongest & weakest? What was easiest and hardest? In the end, I've learned it really was never about the food, it was about all the reasons I was abusing food. I'm not cured, but I don't see failure in my future anymore, only setbacks. Sorry if that sounds hokey!! I struggle, like you, with wanting it to happen "now!" - you put so much effort into it - at times, I'm so tired of being in weight-loss mode, I just want to be in maintenance! But...Rome wasn't built in a day and after being on these boards for many many years, I can tell you, I've seen more sustained success in those who lost their weight slowly.
Terrified of failing again
