Hi all! Oh man has it been a long time since I've been active here... In 2009 I started my weight loss journey topping the scales at 225lbs and standing at 5'2". You can search my profile to find my original intro post when I first joined 3FC. I had started to get my life on track, but then in the summer of 2010 I went on a trip to Mexico with my family and something clicked and I couldn't seem to get back on track or break through my plateau of 174-171lbs.
By Thanksgiving of that year I spiked up to 185lbs and worked hard through January to get back to 175lb. I was still kinda active in the 20-somethings forum, my girls there always had my back and pushed me to stay on track! I honestly don't know what was happening but I was beginning to slip back into my old habits and started emotionally eating again. Then in May 2011 my boyfriend's younger sister committed suicide and sent us on a wild chase for a week thinking she had gone missing only to find out the truth. I was a wreck, but I was staying strong and being there for my boyfriend and his family. After her death this passed summer has me completely back to my old habits. My boyfriend doesn't really help either - he is a twig with excellent metabolism and his idea of a nutritious menu for a day is sugary cereal, sugary coffee, pizza, chips and dip, etc. And every time I've told his mom I'm making healthy choices in my eating she sabotages me because she is depressed (she was before what happened in May, but now she's on a bender understandably) and overweight herself.
Now I find myself back around 187-190lbs, a place I never thought I would see again. Since the end of the summer I've been trying to reel myself back in to stop the feeling of spiraling out of control - I read 4 Hour Body and tried that for the month of september and while it did work and I lost 10" overall, I couldn't stand eating that many beans at every meal. I started counting calories again, but I found myself trying to sabotage myself.
I need the control back. I need to make peace with my relationship with food, something I had never tried to do before until I read something written on
http://www.canyoustayfordinner.com/ - she mentions that a nutritionist told her that it's not good to think carrot "good" and cake "bad", it's neutral it's just food. Today I downloaded a points plus calculator tracking app for my iPhone and I'm going to give weight watchers a try again. I've tried it over the years, but never really gave it a chance.
So here I am again, looking for control, support, and to get myself back on track where I left off almost two years ago.
Edit:
Thought it might be good to add some of the positive in my life. I'm still with my loving boyfriend, best friend and soulmate, Roy, who I've been with since March 2010. I am a wedding and portrait photographer that started my own business this year and it is taking off (
http://marymeghanphotography.com), and a family friend is giving us a free elliptical - yay!
Re-Intro and Spiraling
