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Here I am once again,restarting my weight loss journey&promising it'll be different

#1

tinkerbelll , 10-23-2011 07:33 PM

I am so sad and finding it so hard to be motivated lately. Last month I was doing so great and hit a new low of 238lbs, I started at 312 so when I saw 238 I was sooo excited! I bought myself a new outfit & a pair of boots That very week I got into an argument with my bf & decided to go to NJ to be with my family for a few days, while I did try & stay on diet, it was hard bc noone in my family struggles with weight and they eat whatever they want, & with my 2 brothers being 19, 22 & a stepsister 14, they all eat junk alot more then healthy stuff. SO it was hard to stay on track and by the 6th day I said screw this ima just get back on track when i get home. SO i was gone from 9/30-10/10 and the day I got back I started feeling sick and by the next day I had the stuffiest nose and sorest throat, so for about 4 days straight I did nothing but drink tea, water, eat saltines, soup and sit on the couch all day. BY the time i started feeling better, which was last Friday, I had gained 9 lbs. I was so upset but decided Im gonna reup on healthy foods and start back Monday. Well that was 1 week ago and still here I am procrastinating and not feeling motivated whatsoever. Iv also been eating nothing nut junkfood all week long, I mean eating like foods going out of style!! Iweighed myself today and im 254! So i gained 16lb in 2 weeks!!

I just feel sooo sad and fat and depressed! I am only 23 yrs old & I am terrified of waking up 37, still fat and still miserable. I also been fighting with my bf alot lately and it makes it hard bc I live 7 hours away from my friends and family and have noone here but my boyfriend so when we fight, I just break down and then I eat like a madwoman, and thats whats been going on here.

Me & my boyfriend are usually happy and are great together but I been so miserable lately I been snapping at him and I guess taking out my failures and frustrations on him and Im scared that if I dont change the way Iv been lately, were going to end up splitting.

But thats really the last thing on my mind, I mean I love him and i know he loves me and he always talks to me afterwards & tells me he understands that I am sad about my weight and will do whatever to help me & he loves me, so I do know were going to be fine but I have to stop using him as my punching bag.

I just really need help I have no motivation and now having gained 16lbs that I worked so hard to get down to 238 just makes me even more miserable and feel like WOW I REALLY CANT DO THIS!

But I feel like I HAVE to, I have no other option, if I want to be healthy and happy I have to keep going. I went shopping again for healthy foods, I have a whole plan laid out, I am going to follow the LA Weight Loss plan (i did it before and lost 60lbs, I have the entire plan in PDF & booklets) & I got the turbofire workout program that I plan to start along with my diet plan I even made a countdown calender to my 24th bday which is 85 days away, so I still have ample time to lose a decent amount before my next bday.

Now all I need is the motivation

Sorry if theres alot of typos or rambling sentences, I was typing as fast as the thoughts were coming to my head. If you've gotten this far, thanks for reading

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#2

MedChick87 , 10-23-2011 07:45 PM

I know exactly how you're feeling! We've all been there I promise. Just the simple fact that you're posting on here and have gotten back on the wagon is enough to celebrate! So many people would just be like, well I gained 16 lbs I might as well just give up. But you're not!! Btw, I would guess a lot of that 16 lbs is water weight and will come off pretty quickly. Once you start seeing the weight come off again you'll have all the motivation you need!

Maybe you could try to find ways to deal with the stress/frustrations of your fights with your bf other than eating? Go work out when you're mad!! It's a great way to blow off steam and put things into perspective.

All in all, I KNOW you can do this!!!! You got it girl!

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#3

kirsteng , 10-23-2011 08:04 PM

I agree - you CAN do this, you've already proven that you can with the fantastic progress you've made so far!!

But you do need to change your relationship with your anger... I know, cuz this is what I do too. The minute I'm angry, stressed out etc, I stuff myself. Not when I'm sad, just when I'm mad. But I'm also realizing that instead of eating, it also feels REALLY good to crank up some great music and do my exercise routine really hard. Try it, you'll see!

Oh, and once when I went for 2 weeks to an all inclusive resort in Mexico, I gained 15 pounds in 2 weeks. I kept my cals under 1500, worked out 1/2 hour to 45 mins a day, and I'd lost the 15 pounds in 3 1/2 weeks!! I think a lot of it was water weight too.. we were hitting the bar a littlemuch!

Anyhow, it won't take long and you'll be right back to where you were. Keep going!

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#4

Expunge , 10-23-2011 09:54 PM

I know how you feel. It sounds like you're dealing with some depression, and maybe focusing on solving some of those issues will help you cope with the desire to eat so much. Also, I know for me, when I was on BC pills at a certain point in the cycle I would just start EATING! Crazy amounts of food, just craving everything all the time. I was like a black hole. So even if you're not on the pill, hormonal shifts coupled with emotional turbulence can definitely make it super rough.

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#5

jandro , 10-24-2011 12:25 PM

You have done so well and will continue to do well, tomorrow is another day and just start from there.

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#6

Soon2BSlim , 10-24-2011 10:02 PM

I totally get it...it's soooo hard! I spent the biggest part of this year taking off about 10 pounds...maybe a little more. But then I went on a weekend getaway with friends in Sept...and now for 2 months Ive been eating not so good, barely exercising and drinking too much wine & beer. I've gained 10 pounds in two months. I feel disgusted with myself today...back to square one! Tired of losing these same pounds over and over!

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#7

Soon2BSlim , 10-24-2011 10:03 PM

BTW...I'm not at 169....just didn't update my ticker yet...back to 180!

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#8

ShanIAm , 10-24-2011 10:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by tinkerbelll

Me & my boyfriend are usually happy and are great together but I been so miserable lately I been snapping at him and I guess taking out my failures and frustrations on him and Im scared that if I dont change the way Iv been lately, were going to end up splitting.
This rings so true for me. My boyfriend and I used to have a LOT of fun together and that includes going out to eat, having a couple drinks, movies, popcorn, etc. I started gaining weight little by little. And on the day my jeans got tight my attitude toward him got worse. I am definitely taking my frustrations out on him. I had a melt down yesterday and I almost ruined an otherwise great relationship. I lost this weight to be happy and healthy so I could be in a happy and healthy relationship. Now I have one and I'm sabatoging it by becoming the complete opposite.... miserable and unhealthy. WHY?? (rhetorical question)

So, yeah --- let's get focused again girl! We just need a few good days of eating well under our belt and we'll find that happiness again.

You have come such a LONG way. Don't let this set back ruin all the hard work you have put in! I will promise to take my own advice if you do!

And yeah, don't be like me and wait until you are 37. I regret all those years being overweight and unhappy. I'll be 39 next month and I refuse to backslide to where I was when I turned 38.

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