On the road again...
to weight loss that is. UGH! I've watched my mom's weight fluctuate all of my life, just as I've watched my own. I'm a college student now, and while I left high school in the best shape of my life (I ran my first half marathon!) I let it slip freshman year of college. I had only gained about 5 pounds, but I lost all of my muscle, and went up more than one pant size. The summer between my freshman and sophomore year I achieved a 10 pound weight loss and was in great shape, this time I succeeded by restricting calories and working out in the gym. Unfortunately, an extremely stressful sophomore year led me to gain it all back, and then some. I gained 40 pounds! How could I have let this happen? I'm 5 pounds less than I was many years ago at my heaviest (I'm 190 pounds, and 5 foot 8. I've never been able to go below 150 pounds, my goal weight, without some form of a starvation diet).
The summer between my sophomore and junior year has now come and gone, and I'm ashamed. Ashamed that I'm one of the heaviest girls in my sorority, ashamed that none of my clothes fit, ashamed of how many pictures I have to untag on facebook because of how simply awful I look. It stings how fresh the memory of last summer's weight loss accomplishment is. I'm struggling with the energy to begin again, it all seems so futile. My weight goes up, it goes down, and inevitably, it goes up again.
I'm driven by a goal again, I'm going to study abroad in Florence for a semester starting mid-january. I want to lose my 40 pounds by then. I know it will take a ton of work, I just want to be able to look back at this time in my life, especially my experience abroad, with no regrets.
Fingers crossed I can accomplish this superhuman feat, 40 pounds in 4 months! Here I go!
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