Hello to everyone and thanks in advance for reading my "ranting"
I dont understand why ppl dont expect me to loose more than 50lbs. I mean ok i m 5'8 with a large frame, i have been overweight/obese for as long as i can remember myself, but that doesnt mean that i cant do it. When i say my goal of 165lbs to friends they always say smth like "omg you cant do that, you have a big chest, large frame, or whatever else they think it is big about me". And i just reply " yeah okay". But rly having a large frame doesnt actually mean that you need to stay under "overweight" bmi for the rest of your life. Its not that those comments affect me so much that i go off plan or anything(i do that for my own health and noone else), but sometimes they really get to me and i start thinking "maybe i cant be 165lbs, maybe 190 would be ok".
I m on the forum a lot, just not very active usually, and i saw ppl with my height aiming for even lower weight, which i find very brave.
I also read post saying " you ll know when you get there" which sounds reasonable to me. I m just frustrated that my friends dont really believe in me maybe
Did you ever think that you cant reach your goal, not because you cant stay on plan but because your body wont let you?

.. and sorry for any grammar mistakes (still learning

Well of course you can! I'd use their comments as fuel to reach your goal, and I'd probably also stop talking about specific goals if they're not being supportive and it's bugging you. I don't tell anyone anything specific because I got tired of their reactions and it's worked out well to be vague, or just saying I'm focusing on being healthy. I'm losing the weight for myself, it's my bod, so it's really no one else's concern unless I want it to be

Good luck reaching your goals

You can get there. Unless you're truly oddly shaped with your bone size or very heavily muscled it shouldn't even be too difficult.

I sometimes wonder if 150 is doable for me. I have a large frame as well and the last time I was anywhere near 150 I was a pre-teen. I might get to a higher number then that and decide I'm completely happy, I might get to 150 and decide I'd be happier lower. Everyone is different which you already know. I don't think you have unrealistic expectations at all. Just keep doing what you're doing and see what happens when you get closer. =)

Thanks for your encouragment. I m not oddly shaped or , heavily muscled. I m average i d say. I dont expect to become "petite"! yea that d be awkward. But i guess they dont really see me as "fat". Just big. So i guess they assume it cant go away, lol.

I am 5'8" too and when I started I swore I had a large frame. I am now at 160 lbs and am quite comfortable with my current size. I think 165 is quite appropriate for your frame and height. You can see from my avatar how I currently look.

Interesting question because I have been thinking about this a lot. I wonder if there is a "set point" that you just can't get below -- or at least get below and maintain. Then I think back to when I was 21, same height, and 125 pounds. That tells me my frame can handle that weight but I wonder if it is impossible to get that low now that I am older. I HAVE NO IDEA!

But that post you read is dead on -- you will know when you get there. My first goal weight was 145 pounds when I first started. I changed it recently to 139 and whatever I lose beyond that is just a bonus!

I say you keep your goal at 165 pounds. When you get closer, just adjust it. Up or down, doesn't matter. Your body will tell you. But do NOT adjust it just because your friends act as if they know YOUR body better than you do. Because they don't! And do not let them discourage you... EVER. I think it's time to adopt that, "I'll show them" attitude!

My friend said to me the other day, "You said your goal was 145. Aren't you almost done?". I said, "Nope. I'll be done when my body says I'm done".

See, I'm 5'6.5" and my goal is 175. My ideal weight is between 155-165 according to doctors because I really do have a very big frame. But... I haven't been anywhere NEAR 165 in so long, how can I know what will be perfect? Well, when/if I get close and I want to get smaller (which I may not). I will do a caliper test for fat or a water dunk test for fat. That's the only way to know what a person's ideal weight is. A BMI is only a measure of height and then a given range. It fits most people, but not the outlyers.

So, lose weight, by getting FIT. (What's the point of being thin if you're still living unhealthy lifestyle habits?) When you get going, have your body fat measured (those scales are grossly inadequate for body fat percentages, especially for women, by the way). You may find that yes, 175 is perfect for you with a healthy body fat, or maybe it will be 155.

Just start getting healthy and figure it out as you get there!

I have a goal of 160 and am 5'7". I have VERY broad shoulders and have a largish frame (and big boobs!) For me it's more about clothing sizes and being able to shop in "regular" stores and my fitness level.

Honestly, I don't think people in general are good judges of what we weigh. I was talking to a friend about how much I wanted to lose and he said, "so that will put you at what? 130?" I just laughed and laughed and told him to add 30 pounds to that! He couldn't believe I weighed & weigh as much as I do.

I'm a terrible judge of weight and clothing sizes for other people (and even myself at times).

Don't let other people get you down. In my previous successful weight loss effort, I was down to a size 14 (and not finished) and people were telling me I was too thin. They just weren't used to seeing me that size.

People really can't tell how much I weigh, when I tell them I'm over 200 they act like they don't believe me. With our height we can "carry it well" whatever that means. Maybe they think they are paying you a compliment when they say you couldn't possibly be that much overweight? Not necessarily saying there's no way you COULD lose that much weight, but that they don't think you need to?

Yea ppl are terrible judges of weight (including myself). I was 275lbs and friends would guess around 220 or smthing, which is a huge difference. I guess i dont like being said that is impossible to do smthing.
As for the healthy lifestyle, i come from a mediterranean country and rly all we eat over here is veggies , fruits, yogurts n stuff as a lifestyle in general, so i guess i ll concetrate more to what i can control and see where that leads me. thanks for all your answers <3

People who have never been fat have a very poor perception of what "a lot" of weight is. Think of how many people complain needing to lose a "whole 20 pounds". A twenty pound loss to an already small person is significant! To others of us, it's barely a drop in the bucket.

I started my journey telling people I wanted to lose 100 pounds and got concerns about anorexia and my overall health. I got the point pretty quick that they had no concept of what I was up against. So I stopped talking about it. If people asked I'd say I'd know when I got there or that I just wanted to get to a healthy weight. People like that answer. "I just want to be a healthy weight."

I don't discuss specific goals anymore because EVERYONE has an opinion. If people ask how much I've lost I say 45 lbs, if they ask how much more I want to lose I say "just a couple pounds more" and they nod in agreement. What they don't understand is a "couple" is actually 55, not 2 lol.

If my friends were telling me I couldn't do it... I tink it would motivate me MORE to do and then find new friends! HAHA

My parents are the same way--They feel that right now I look so skinny, and if I'm 200 lbs right now, I'll look too thin at 165. But I've still got a lot of pinchable fat, most of it camped out in my gut. I have a large chest, and wear a size 12 shoe (narrow to medium width). I'm about 5'9.5", but I never count that half. I think most folks would not guess that I am a 200 pounder. I look to be probably in the 180's, if most folks would guess without me telling them my weight.

Now, when people ask how much I want to lose, I always use a clothing size "I'm a 14, trying to get into a 12". That way, I avoid answering weight questions.

Also, people get used to seeing someone a certain way. I weighed what I weigh now my junior and senior year in high school. I'm 20lbs less than what I weighed on my wedding day 12 years ago, so yeah, for me, I look skinny. For the world, not so much. I get why my parents think I look so thin. They've seen an incredible transformation. Then to say I'm going for another 35lbs is shocking.